If everyone on this board donated $1, it would take us 1 month to buy this boat with enough surplus to hire a captain, upgrade the engine, cover insurance and hire a fleet of staff to cater our every guest's needs.
Imagine. We could shitpost from international waters and be immune to glow in the dark niggers. We could deliberately sail into pirate territory and get the fags from /k/ to put on one hell of a show. We could hire the /biz/raelis to do all the paperwork bullshit too.
yachtworld.com
Other urls found in this thread:
google.com.au
twitter.com
>55 000 000 on Sup Forums
I dont think 55 million people are on this board
I think this is a good idea. I'll be the treasurer.
In 2012 alone Sup Forums had 22 million unique views every month
That was 6 years ago nigga. It's more like 350k unique viewers now.
Nup, it's almost 30 million:
google.com.au
Let's say that instead of $1, everyone donates $2. Sweet, same outcome
Or we could save up like $500 and get a party van.
you don't need money for that. just some choice images
I mean a private party van, we could abduct people all day in it.
Where duh laydays at ;)
Everyone will be dead before a soul steps foot on that boat. All that money for it to go to kek.
30m unique addresses is not 30m different people. One person can easily use a few different IPs every day.
Silly user.
Sup Forums has no soul
The other 30% are traps.
I fear there will be a day, when an internet community will do exactly this. Although I thought it would take much longer.
I mean, great. But you're not fitting that many anons on one boat.
Larry and Roys funbus!
As a merchant navy engineer who actually works on this class of ship, absolutely every-fucking-thing you've said is utter horse shit! International waters is bullshit, you've bound by the laws of the flag you sail, dont wanna fly a flag? No worries, but you're never getting into a port, being refuelled, getting crew off without extreme scrutiny ever again.
This is why we should buy an island first.
Just fly the kekistan flag.
I was thinking more like Moe and Lester's mobile virgin van.
Are there actual modern pirate fortress/cities? Known places that let unregistered ships dock without scrutiny? Just wondering if that's still a thing nowadays and, if so, how it's dealt with.
Lawl /k/ would love this.
Plus a cruise ship would be a beacon for every pirate within 500 miles.
kek
>We could hire the /biz/raelis to do all the paperwork bullshit too.
Hmm.
why don't we just charter a football field sized one for a week for 1/500th the cost?
>for a week
There is around some places, the malacca strait, gulf of somalia etc, I doubt it's like that episode of archer, but yeah they do exist.
Aye, and this is a joke an all, but you've still gotta fly people onto that island from a legitimate country, set up infrastructure to supply the ship, food, fuel. The maddest thing though? The industry is corrupt beyond belief! We carry $100,000 US on the fucking boat for bribes! Fucking bribes!! We come into some shithole like Columbia, you better believe port authroities aren't letting us leave, making up some bullshit charge, unless we give them the "brown envelope" with a few k in there. Still, we make make on the passengers ;)
Its called Somalia
No government, starvation level incomes, rampant gangs.
They go out in rusty little shit boats with outboards and try to climb on board cargo, oil, natural gas tankers then have money wired to them from the companies with stock or personnel on board.
More often than not this Large ships traveling those waters these days have Ex US military as mercenaries to shred the little boats upon approach.
Silly Somalis. They should have chosen to live somewhere else.
that's more than i'd need to pillage more resources for a bigger ship. not if everyone on board was as big of a visionless puss as you though.
never post a picture of the duke again you faggot normie.
lol thats not how it works
Well yeah, I was more thinking international Islands. So you could hop through the oceans without ever having to register at an official port.
Interesting, I assume modern navy has completely stopped organized piracy? As in there are no pirates, in the true sense anymore, just bandits on boats?
it is though so, you're clearly fucking stupid.
And how do you plan to get 55 million retards into that boat? Most of them are going to stay out and im not donating a dollar just to stay out of it. Also the boat will be smelling like cum and shit within the first ten minutes
ikr what faggots
thats niggers for you
>fly kekistani flag
>our laws and constitution are made up as we go
What're you gonna do, spank us?
You're not allowed on the boat, faggot.
No faggot, unlike I actually work on ships so I know what im talking about. You're just a mong, so by all means keep arguing your faggot ass and being wrong.
It depends, pirates are many and the military few and far between. In high risk areas like the gulf and malacca, the royal navy and USN operate a task force, in these areas we can ask for an escort if we've got passengers and we're pretty much safe. But for the poor lads on containers and tankers... they're sitting ducks, tankers especially with their low freeboard, means when they're laden with cargo they're fucking so easy to board, a small pirate boat wont even turn on radar, not with older radar systems. The shipping companies could re-fit their ships with modern radar, give the crew half a chance, but it's expensive, and they wont dig into their pockets on a one off pirate attack. It's a fucked situation man
no, but without an approved flag you're not gonna leave port. What now faggot?
>Everyone who donates gets a free VIP ticket. First come first served, if we dock at a port in your country, you're free to board
>Donate $2 and get your name written on the side of the boat
>Donate $2 and we'll hold a lottery, the winners get their name blasted in morse-code through the horns
>Donate $2 and we'll hold a lottery, the winners get put a picture of their choosing on a banner on the port side of the boat
>Do the same for the starboard side
>Do the same for the stern and the bow
>Donate $2 and go into a lottery to have the poop deck named after you
There's heaps of ways to incentivize it.
Got me thinking, we could even have an auction to name it. S.S Boaty McBoatface, anyone?
sounds like a gay cruise I was on once, hope I never see that shite again. Fucking disgusting
Drive out anyway lol, what're they gonna do, throw mines at us? Kek if it comes to it, we'll just park offshore and pay boats to ferry people and supplies onboard
>claims to work on ships
>doesn't believe in chartering yachts
yea you're a lying nobody with shit for brains. enjoy your shit job, whatever it actually is, as i continue to hang out on chartered yachts, retard.
yeah its hard to pirate with GPS nowadays.
Kekistan is a US-Israeli measure against the anomalous counterculture. It's completely approved.
I meant it in the sense that the pirate culture has vanished from the act of piracy. These are not people, that believe in the righteousness of their actions, but rather steal to survive.
Pretty fucked up, the companies let them become/stay sitting ducks. Am I right in the assumption that they rarely steal cargo now, since it's harder to turn over? So they basically rob the sailors for their valuables and not the company?
Thanks for answering my questions btw.
Ugh, said this once. That's not how it works. Without a flag and a classification society signing the ship off, no one will do business with us, no crew will sign on, I fucking wouldnt! No suppliers will work with us, so no food, water, fuel. Basically, you cannot operate a ship, without a flag. And since no crew will be on, how do you plan on taking the ship out?
2nd engineer working for royal Caribbean. My job is fucking amazing. You've never been on a yacht in your faggot life. Where as ive been round the fucking world 3 times over.
yes i have, you monumental moron. the only reason to think otherwise is because you have no idea what you're talking about and don't understand how affordable it is to charter a boat for events.
you also didn't explain yourself at all after calling me wrong and i told you about chartering yachts being a thing. so if somehow you aren't lying and they actually hired a retard for the position you claim to have, your job still isn't amazing, royal carribbean is terrible cruise line, and you're a broke boy loser. good job, being a lesser human.
Fuck I wish that were true!
Oh absolutely! Stealing to survive is one thing. Theres plenty of money and resources on a ship to take. Turning bulk cargo over is hard, but fuel? There's no barcodes or checks, you can take as much as you can carry and no african companies are gonna ask questions where it came from. But to take hostages and kill them if they dont pay up? Pirates are scum and need to fucking die. They're not stealing to feed their families, they're doing it because they can, that's why i've no sympathy for them and exactly why I stopped working on tankers. White european officers command a high ransom, and im not worth it to my company. I'd like to see my wife and kid y'know? Cruise ships is where it's at, no risk
A flight attendant is a respectable job then? Hahahaha fuck you've got to be a Beaner or something and you think your job rocks cause you're not having to swim everywhere anymore.
yawn yawn yawn, you're a faggot on Sup Forums whos a pretender, i've got enough in the bank to retire early the way im going and my quality of life, things i've seen and the places i've been to are amazing. You have literally, and I mean that word in it's proper and full context, literally have no idea what the flying fuck you're talking about, you're a cunt, kill yourself at the earliest opportunity. done talking to you
clearly not the same thing though is it faggot. Do you even passport? Nah didnt think so.
Imagine the lot of you trying to share it... Jesus christ there is no God here.
>claims chartering yachts doesn't exist
>gets called out
>doesn't explain self
that's what I thought retard. stay broke and serving white trash on a shit liner, you loser bitch
it'd be ok, a bunch of faggots too scared to come out of their cabins for fear of having to interact like a normal person. No chance of that with these mouth breathers
you could at least make a crowdfunding link if you were serious
Whatever you stewartess beaner. Get me another drink.
Completely understandable, I didn't mean to paint them in a postive light. They're simple bandits, in most cases.
Interesting about the fuel, do they sometimes leave the ships stranded at sea?
I already covered this you walnut
If everyone donates $2, we can buy the ship with millions in surpluss (like $5m)
We'll hire a competent crew and the /biz/raelis to take care of that paperwork bullshit for us
Pic related, it's you when we sail valiantly into open seas and the world opens its ports to greet us with beer and pussy
i would donate
Invite /k/ along then
I can just imagine a lolship zigzagging around the world because user doesn't know where he wants to go
How did it take this many fucking posts for someone to point this out?
See:
Also,
See:
>Sup Forums buys a boat
>Invites /k/ as security detail
>mfw the boat ends up the most feared pirate ship off the African coast
This can't end well.
> /k/ uses boat as FOB to invade Somalia
im done with the internet for tonight.
this shit just murdered my sides.
Well played OP
A chartered yacht is still subject to the laws of the nation it's flagged under even in international waters
I got you user
pic related
What would Sup Forums name such a vessel?
>A chartered yacht is still subject to the laws of the nation it's flagged under even in international waters
The obvious solution is to charter it under a Somalian flag.
That's why you buy a battleship to force your way into port
boaty mcboatface
Or Lichtenstein, I hear those cunts know what's up when it comes to legal shit. They'll be cool with it I'm sure.
SO we doing this or what? Set up a fund me page or some shit and see if Sup Forums can do it
GOOD MEME BRO
YOU JUST GOT McUPPY McBOATED BRAAAAHHHHH YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN ;} ;} ;} ;} ;} ;} ;} ;} ;} ;}
WE'LL MAKE A FIGURE OF PICKLE RICK FOR THE BOW TOO, YOU CAN CLING ON BEHIND IT AND GRIND ON IT THROUGH THE SMOOTH AND ROUGH
Kek
Fuck you Jimmy Wales.
I've read that North Korea will issue a registration as long as you're willing to pay the fees.
I'm currently planning on opening up a GoFundMe page. I've ran five businesses before, three of which I sold off and two of which I still manage. I'm drawing on every piece of marketing knowledge, advertising advice and general protips I can to ensure this is successful. This may or may not involve telling the media about how the internet wants to buy a seafaring cruise liner, the first real Boaty McBoatface.
Watch out for when the link goes live boyos. If I'm going to start this legitimately, I'm going to pour my heart and soul into it and give it every single damn fucking chance it's got.
I've been at Sea before and it sucked balls. I would never pay money to be stuck on a boat. That's something poor people do when they are pretending to be middle class.
This.
At best Sup Forums is probably getting 6-7m.
buy an abandoned Oil rig in international waters
>All donators welcome aboard - first-come-first-served basis
>First tier: Donate $2, get your name written in permanent marker on the hull of the ship
>Second tier: Donate $5, enter the draw for a free, guarantee'd room for a week
>Third tier: Donate $10, enter the draw for a free, guarantee'd room for a week with a $100 bar tab
>Fourth tier: Donate $20, enter the draw for a free, guarantee'd VIP room with concierge service for a week
>Fifth tier: Donate $50, enter the draw for free VIP room with concierge and a $200 bar tab, also enter the draw to have your name blasted by the horn in morse-code
>Sixth tier: Donate $100, get all the above plus enter the draw to have a banner of your choosing on the boat
>Seventh tier: Donate $200, get all of the above plus a handsigned and logo-stamped thank-you card from the captain, plus a free jet-ski ride
>Eighth tier: Donate $400, get a free ticket for a VIP room for a week with concierge and a $200 bar tab
>Ninth tier: Donate $500, get the above plus a free tour of the bridge and a free live-fire with the /k/ommandos off the stern of the boat
>Tenth tier: Donate $1,000 get the above, plus you get to drive the fucking boat, plus a free helicopter ride
>God-tier: Donate $5,000 to get the above, plus you choose our first destination, and you get a free private lapdance with three strippers (this only applies to the first donor, all other donors get to choose the next sequential destination)
Donations above that get all the above, plus enter the draw to have the poop deck named after you, plus you get a golden plaque with your name engraved on it on the bridge, plus you enter the draw to name the main entertainment hall after you or whatever the fuck else you choose
Let's do the math (followed on in the next post)
Anons, it has been done. Check it out
/beautiful-karrier
I was with you until you suggested letting biz run the money. Have you been on biz?
You've tried hotels. Bombs arnt exactly the appetite le blimps.
I'm gonna bump this cuz that would be so fucking cool
fuck the boat we should all donate for an island
With a simple coconut tree. Will they eat each other before the coconuts?
Let's assume that, if we reach our target of 27MM Sup Forums users in one month donating:
>80% of people donate $2
>8% of people donate $5
>7% of people donate $10
>2.15% of people donate $20
>1% of people donate $50
>0.5% of people donate $100, $200, or $400
>0.2% of people donate $500
>0.1% of people donate $1,000
>0.05% of people donate $5,000
>0% of people donate more than that.
That leaves us with $300,780,000. That's three hundred million, seven hundred and eighty thousand dollars. Let's assume we only hit 50% of that target. That's still over $150 Million fucking dollars. Let's assume that our campaign is unsuccessful and 80% of people who hear about it fuck off and never think about it again. Imagine if only those glorious few, those pioneers, those frontiersmen willing to push the boundaries that we know in the world, donated. If only two of every ten donated, we'd have exactly $60,156,000. That's sixty million one hundred fifty-six thousand dollars.
We'd fucking do it. We'd actually fucking do it, even if 80% of people we hoped to reach never contributed.
See this post: Delete that link, and wait until OP has fully planned out exactly how to market / advertise / price it. Don't you dare fuck this up.
Holy fuck
We could actually do it brethren
>mfw when Sup Forums actually pulls off the greatest thing the internet has ever done
Imagine the captain's log
>make all the staff wear namebadges with "Lori" on them, so whenever they serve you you reply "Thanks, Lori"
>number the poopdeck as 'deck sixxx'
>remove all clocks, speaker announces the appropriate number of "Bongs" every hour and require all staff to drop what they're holding to count their fingers and affirm their readings to each other as "Oi it's [x] bong!"
>dinner is just tendies every night, this also saves on costs
>officer ranks go by triforce-triangles on their shoulders, the first officer's is a copy-paste triforce and only the captain has a full triforce
>the Virgin Somali pirate boat Vs the Chad /k/ tactical yacht