Tell something illegal you have ever done

Tell something illegal you have ever done.

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Learning english

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Masturbated on the way to an unruly costumers house and rubbed my hand all over the lip of their soda

i fucked my dog on multiple occasions. Not sure if its illegal where I'm from

i once downloaded windows XP and installed it with a cracked product key.

Killed 7 people

I once watched an in-flight movie, and instead of paying for headphones I just sat there and read the actors' lips for free

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I broke into a public swimming pool and swam at night

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Fucked my 15 year old bf at 19

Survive

Post CP

Sent nudes of myself when I was 17 years and 364 days old.

Didn't pay my registration on time and then just decided I'd move out of state soon anyway so I let it go. 2 days before moving day, I got pulled over and arrested for it, and they made me spend the night in jail till the clerk came in in the morning to take my payment.

Now I fucking hate police and enjoy it every time one gets shot.

Way to go, cops.

Saying I was born in 12 A.D to get on a +18 website of dogs kissing

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Same, got fucked by my dog every time my parents would leave me alone in the house for like 3 years.

It's probably illegal.

You bitch

No mama no, it's mothers' day

With one hand, I once ate an entire bag of after dinner mints before lunch, and my other hand was fondling my private parts while I was riding public transportation.

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What is this registration you have to pay for? Is it like vehicle tax

How old are you? 12?

If you enjoy cops getting shot, fair enough, it's your life, but if that is your reasoning then you are fucking retarded.

"Ey I know that this COULD result in me getting in trouble but fuck it. I'LL take that risk"

If it wasn't an offense you could be arrested for it wouldn't happen. but it is, so you were.

Also cops don't make the laws, they just enforce them.

Grow up.

I also stole the secret KFC recipe, don't fuck with me

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I went 75 in a 55 around a corner. somebody stop me before I hoon again

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Launched a firework in an suburban area

yea. every year you have to pay a fee based on the value of your car. so it's a tax, yeah. mine's about $350. But you can only pay for the entire year, and I'm like why the fuck would I pay for an entire year of registration when I'm only going to be living in this shithole state for 3 weeks, and then land in the next state, and have to buy another entire year of registration there too... so I was like f it, I'll just register in the state I'm moving to. Cops don't give a fuck, it's an easy arrest. I spent the night with a violent biker dude and three drunk assholes who fought constantly and tried dragging me into their shit. The next morning, if I said even one word to the fucking cop, I would have lost my shit and grabbed his gun and got myself killed, I was so pissed off I was beyond rational. But whatever. You just learn from these experiences. Cops aren't there to protect or serve anyone but their own interests.

I sell fake ID's to illegal immigrants. I purchased a list of dead peoples social security numbers on the dark web and sell them so that people can obtain medical care and general assistance.

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>How old are you? 12?
>Proceeds to post a 12yos understanding of life

ur one cool customer user

Collected rain water.

searched "converting img tag" in an image search engine

I've killed a lot of people. Some girls in the apartment uptown uh, some homeless people maybe 5 or 10 um an NYU girl I met in Central Park. I left her in a parking lot behind some donut shop. I killed Bethany, my old girlfriend, with a nail gun, and some man uh some old faggot with a dog last week. I killed another girl with a chainsaw, I had to, she almost got away and uh someone else there I can't remember maybe a model, but she's dead too. And Paul Allen. I killed Paul Allen with an axe in the face, his body is dissolving in a bathtub in Hell's Kitchen. I don't want to leave anything out here. I guess I've killed maybe 20 people, maybe 40. I have tapes of a lot of it, uh some of the girls have seen the tapes. I even, um... I ate some of their brains, and I tried to cook a little. Tonight I, uh, I just had to kill a LOT of people. And I'm not sure I'm gonna get away with it this time. I guess I'll uh, I mean, ah, I guess I'm a pretty uh, I mean I guess I'm a pretty sick guy. So, if you get back tomorrow, meet me at Harry's Bar, so you know, keep your eyes ope

thats not how registration works dumbass.
your reg covers moving to different states, it is when you need to re-reg you have to pay the state youre residing in.

That's cool, is it payed well?

I googled that DuckDuckGo thing going around.

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Romeo and Juliet laws might make this legal since you could've "met in high school" at ages 14 and 18

Or someone in their late 20's who has been sprung doing a number of illegal things and actually understand the nuances of life and that I am accountable for my own actions and failures whether that be doing something against the law or getting caught.

I don't agree with cops outright, and paying rego fucking sucks, but it was still that blokes choice to do what he did and his response to it was childish.

Jesus christ, maybe you should have gone for his gun then if you were that incensed by it all.

>uh
>ah
>um

You don't have to type shit like "uh"

saucey, thanks user

I'm a sheep and cattle rancher; I frequently show bestiality porn to my livestock to get them in the mood to breed. All the animals featured in these porn vids were non-consenting.

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nooo

Drove 36 in a 35mph zone,
took more than one piece of candy from the self-serve Halloween candy bowl, became an atheist in the self-anointed “Christian” Divided States of America

A lot, who am i speaking with

Nice

You fucking monster

Other responder is right, and nice

Accidentally set a small forest on fire.
>be 13yo or so
>decide to grow some weed in the forest with my friend
>go to the local forest looking for a good sunny place
>find one
>it's early spring, everything is covered in dry grass
>"hey %friend_name%, how are we gonna do next? how are we gonna get rid of all this dry grass, we don't have shovels or anything else except my zippo?"
>"...hmm, zippo you say. Well, we could set this place on fire and when the fire starts spreading, we will just stomp it out."
>"Sure, let's do this."
>10 mins later
>a few bushes and a few square meters of ground are on fucking fire
>we are running away out of the forest before somebody spots us
>never talk about it again

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Own a bump stock

Faggot

I posses a small amount of Marijuana

Topkek

What was it?

I was having physical withdrawal symptoms from my physically addictive rain water and the state didn't provide free syringes and education FUCK YOU

Its from American Psycho isn't it?

I doubt he actually types like that.

I once took 3 instead of the two allowed paper towels.

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Did the holocaust once

i used to shoplift

Fuck yea, dolphin bananna

you didn't say when

Mailed an ounce of dank across the country. Aparently that's a felony

I’ve really been far as decided to use even go want to do look more like.

Posting on Sup Forums while being underage

So many Americans do this, starting a sentence with "Umm..." which makes them sound brain dead and inarticulate.

I don't come to a full and complete stop at stop signs, I just slow down and then keep going.

Crossed the street against the light.

Criticised our glorious leader. Now I will be executed. Still worth it.

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Nothing, it's not illegal if you don't get caught

Fpbp

oh god me too

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Infected with a virus all PC's where i work just because i do not wanted to work that day, a HUGE hangover was fucking me, so they had to format all machines ;)

Thats cool

No u

On mother's Day you fucking Jew

I once talked too sternly in a library and they never found out it was me.

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I jaywalk

something is telling me that you will meet you end by suicide ;)

I once jerked of in the library. Then when I was leaving I noticed a fucking librarian have cameras in the hall and I was sitting right under one of them lol.
She didn't say anything though.

Ty

what kind of fucking logic is that? kys degenerate

possess a whole bunch of marijuana ;)

Go cry to mommy you leftist NEET. That user is 100% right. Play stupid games, win stupid prizes. Not the cops’ fault at all.

>I sell fake ID's to illegal immigrants.

you are literally the reason Trump is president

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If anyone enforce the law, it has no sense

drugs
stole a truck (and then returned it)

>not getting the reference
Neck yourselves.

>Tell something illegal you have ever done.

blackmailed a chick for sex for a few months
i had her nudes and threatened to send them to her parents
probably not illegal though, because she consented
she was a starfish though, so it got boring and i stopped

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>Canadians
>Brits
>Mexicans
>Americans
>Other large swathes of people who learn English
Being bad at speaking isn’t just isolated to America. I’m willing to bet that you would be using filler words at least every 20 words if you delivered a speech before an audience.

Learn to speak better retards.

asdf

i broke my tooth skateboarding when i was 16, got a 30 count prescription of watsons and sold them for 3$ each mostly to kids younger than me

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Why ?

I once went 57 in a 55.

A made a post on Sup Forums without getting dubs

>
wew

When I was a waiter, the customer asked for Diet when really I gave them regular.

I was in a bad mood and I wanted to take it out on someone.

learn to speak good*

I once stole a bunch of pokemon card packs

use to go to walmart and steal blu rays and other DVDs (about $120 worth each run) and come back the next morning to return them. Walmart accepts practically anything without a receipt, but they give you a walmart credit gift card. I would take those gift cards and buy booze. Probably stole about $4000 doing this over time until they upped their security super fucking tight. Cameras in every other aisle, they even close at midnight now.