Tell the plague doctor what ails you Sup Forums

Tell the plague doctor what ails you Sup Forums

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Autism

cocaine and blood letting shall fix you my son

my heart

Thank you kind doctor

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Ive been on nofap for about a week but I still look at porn out of habit. I want to masturbate, but I also really want to get a personal high schore thats reaaaaaaallly high, like year long high, I dont think I can though

Mental illness yo.

more cocaine shall heal you my son

I am a selective mute

a lack of imagination doc

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Humanity.

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you cant fap if you have no penis go to my quarters and take the beating stick of awesomeness beat it its not technically faping

I have an unknown bump on my scrotum

some asshole in a mask showed up at my house last night just to shit on my porch and leave. I cleaned it up then this morning I woke up with some weird growths on my hand

these magic mushrooms shall help

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Is it red? Does it hurt?

My eyes are bright red and hurt

i have crippling insomnia and i am cold motherfucker cause i have aspergers

Blood letting shall let the evilness out of you and to help stop the emptiness take some cyanide

WHAT DID YOU DO TO ME DOC

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It’s red and has a bit of a scab on top.

he has the plague everyone shun this man

It doesn’t hurt though

Stop picking on it fag itll go away

I can't leave a house without taking a shit before my journey,even if I don't need a shit I will sit and push until I do pass something,the toilet bowl usually looks like a slaughterhouse when I'm done.

only what was needed my son *hits you on head with kid beating stick*

Thanks doc, but can’t you cut it off?

do not take medical advice from this fool he does not have a cool beating stick inject 17 mg of cyanide into your balls

no i cannot my son there is a specific order we do things in the scientific field

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god has chosen you to be my apprentice come young one into my office

i don't have blood, and cyanide doesn't affect me at all. do you mean let blood and administer cyanide to humans, in the real world? okay!

I have a cold.
Not much to eat. Only have cereal with almond milk, boiled eggs, canned chicken and oats.

Maybe I'll make oatmeal

this man has the super gay plague its super infectious lock him up

I have one week to do 8 weeks worth of assignments

I have random nosebleeds what can I do to fix it?

nonsense you shall eat a mix of dirt hay and the oats the combinations o these three shall help you prevail in the dark times we're in

I still have feelings for her doc

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simply cut off your nose and use the worms of nye to plug it up it will bleed only once more then stop forever

Remember that your feelings are biological, not true love

Blood nose doc help.

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we have to get this man into surgery stat his brain must be cut out and preserved for further research

Thanks doc, one more question, can you make a penis smaller or bigger with a special potion?

take 2 meal worms a day to counteract the demons in your blood trying to escape

Doc my fingernails keep falling out

Aighty doc I'll do as you say.

yes but you have to make it boil red mud mixed with meal worm and this herbal juice

All the women I like are dumb whores.

doc i keep shitting water help

Al right I'll do as you say doc, I'll feed it to a local hobo

use this special glue to put i back on and take 3 cyanide capsules a day

Plague doctor which is a better mask yours or a gas mask

thanks doc, but what if i run out of glue? the market is 3 days journey

mine of course only someone with the plague would doubt my awesomeness

Dress up as plague doctor
Walk down street to McDonald's.
Enter, walk to counter.
Hot blond girl turns around and screams.

Put on deep voice.
"DO NOT BE AFRAID, CHILD!"
Wave arms, leap onto counter.
Kick over register and charity jar.

Raise hands into air.
"PURRRRRIFFFFYYYYYYYYYY!"
Manager storms in, appears angry.
Moonwalk.

Kick fat kid's McFlurry from hands.
"You are fat. You need not this."
Tip hat to manager, jump from counter.
Head for door, see bitch/hot girl from high school.

She has fries, is staring with gaping jaw.
Sprint to her.
Grab her fries, slap her.
Manager shouts, tries to grab hat.

Spin around, slap him across face.
"UNHAND ME, MALE OF BROWN SKIN!"
Sparta kick the door.
Run out of store.
Walk the dinosaur.

Go home, leave without costume.
Return to McDonald's, see sign with "no dogs allowed" stuff.
See picture of plague doctor with cross-out-thing on it.
LOL.

then go to the market in the other town now get out of my quarters dumbshit *hits you with totally rad beating stick

But a gas mask can protect gas and the plague

Yo doc what should I do if I'm pissing blood?

Cut out my brain and put it back in without the memories and feelings for her please doctor

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Doctor how effective is your cure?

Im not the doc but you should probably get yourself tampons

well your face cant protect angst shit so out of my quarters imbecile

works 12% of the time

Canada thread
778/250 here

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oops fuck these edibles are kicking in

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>Fucking kek

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put a sharpie up your ass the suction will help

doctor there is a wart on my penis, it is about as large as the head itself

i will my son and you shall be reborn

Doctor your remedys may help if you give me the scientific evedence that your bird mask is better than my gas mask

flick a bunch of times

You are no doctor I shall smite THEE

thats it *pulls out second beating can out of cloak beats you with both*

YES THE GAS CHEMIST IS THE BEST DOCTOR

*dodges attack and throws tear gas*

no one has power over the doctor you present you cant smite what presides over you, you fool

Monstrous anal worms. They itch and at night I can feel them crawling out of my ass and slither around my back and thighs.

No the gas chemist is the one whom has power you cannot smite thee or you will recive worse

takes red mud and ants haha im immune

Unless its the plague what can he even do?
even if it is the plague he would just poke me with a fucking stick

lure them out with the eyes of fish

NOT FROM MY FOOKIN LASER SIGHTS

no one listen to this man becuse he has the gay

A severe case of melancholy, brought on by a recent divorce, my good doctor.

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THE CHEMIST IS THE ONE THAT IS BETTER THAN THE DOCTOR

but my mask protects me from the attacks

this person has been marked by the big gay no one listen to him

Not from my UV rays >:) im so dasterly

do cocaine about it and touch the sacred nugget only once

Rebuttal

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i eat some dried lizard skin boiled in the juice of its eyes it makes me immune from your cancer rays

I need my humours divined

Damn i have no choice *thows lemon juice on you*

Thank you, oh enlightened one, I shall heed your words.

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aw god that dasturdus lemon devil noooooooo

doctor it seems to have made the wart larger, it is now excreting pus however
what do

HAHAHA I AM NOW THE SWORN LEADER OF THIS VILLAGE WITH MY CHEMISTRY YOU ALL WONT HAVE PLAGUE YOU WILL NOW HAVE CANCER

The doctor is tired so i leave my regard to whom have visited the plague doctor i will be back around the same time tomorrow good bye my friends so now leave my quarters

as i bid my leave the town shall be protected while im gone by the nugget

Am i the nugget