What is the fastest way of catching a cold or getting sick with some other minor sickness?

What is the fastest way of catching a cold or getting sick with some other minor sickness?
I tried sleeping with the window open and walking outside in the cold for hours.

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go to a pub or club with many people and then go walking in the cold
you need a virus first you fucking retard

Thanks
I'll try that

Go to your local XXX theater and lick the floor.

Shake hands, public transport, crowded places

Additional Question:
Does a lack of sleep make me more vulnerable to viruses?

eat chalk, you will have a fever in short notice and feel sick.
seriously.

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I want a cold not cancer

Stop thinking cold weather gets you sick. That is a shitty myth. It does weaken your immune system some while you are in the cold, but does not gaurantee illness. The fastest way is to find someone with the bug and make repeated contact with them.

how fast and how reliable do you need it?

methods mentioned above take days and have a very low probability of success

how extreme you have to go to guarantee it and within 24h varies depending on exactly what symptoms you're looking for and how long you need them to last

The cold doesnt make you sick. You are all fucking morons. People just stay inside with less air circulation during cold months causing more illnesses.

cum twice with the full moon in sight. I always give myself the cold this way.

Go to an ER and sit next to someone who is coughing, put your hand on the armrest or near where they are and then put your hand in your mouth over and over.

AKA do the opposite of the mantra "don't put your hands in your mouth if you don't want to get sick"

I need something that can keep me from going to work and similar events for the next 2-4 days

it's called a "lie"

I need proof from a doctor for my boss

What I do in your situation is I eat a mixture of spice and sausages
I'm talking teary eyed on the floor screaming suffering hot spices

The next day your asshole will become a volcano, you can go to a doctor and tell him "I have severe diarrhea and dehydration, I don't think I can go to work"

He will as what have you eaten, tell him cheap Chinese food and he'll write you some days off

Works with me, should work for you
Profile:no boss wants an employee to shit their pants at work and it resonates with them on a human level of humility, it's an undeniable request

how much proof... if you need an actual infection you're going to have to go hardcore. contaminate something soft and organic, store in in a warm, moist environment for 12 hours, then squeeze the liquid and inject it (any other method has a high probability of being filtered out before it can infect you unless you can get samples of things more infectious than are around the typical house)

...why would you need to actually give yourself diarrhea. the doctor can't actually tell whether or not you spent the last 10 hours shitting nonstop unless they're doing a level of testing that would also reveal it was something you did and is now over

I once ate a five day old steak to get some kind of illness but all that happend was that i puked on the street and was completely fine the next day

Hang out in a children's hospital waiting room.