Well, I'm a Jew.
My 23andme results came back, and it's official. I'm genetically 70.3% Jew.
Ask me anything.
Well, I'm a Jew
Ayden Roberts
Carson Cooper
Is it true jew noses are big because air is free?
William Clark
have you considered suicide?
Noah James
No idea. My DNA must have jewed me over because my nose size is fairly average.
Ryder Green
Why is there sometimes blood on the tp when I wipe?
Joshua Garcia
Started live streaming my new game channel and this just happened m.youtube.com
Kevin Ortiz
What do you think of the recent breakthroughs in Alzheimer research?
James Perez
Honestly, no.
MDo you know what my first thought was?
"Suck it, untermensch, I have won the genetic lottery."
Ashkenazi are statistically more likely to get Nobel prizes, you know. I'm probably smarter than you. It's not your fault, it's just how the universal dice rolled.
Xavier Anderson
On the off chance this isn't a petty and fruitless attempt at shock humor, pleas go to a free clinic.
Its tragically too late to save Terry Pratchet. But I'll take it.
Henry Cook
Retroactive autocorrect on mobile is a bitch. Please overlook the various errors.
Isaac Reed
when are you gonna collect the shekels that are owed you?
Luke Reyes
Lying fuck. No such thing as a Jewish race. It's either a religious identity or an ascribed ethnicity. Learn to DNA faggot
Cameron Morris
When are you going to stop sucking nigger cock, goyshit?
Jordan Reyes
I assumed it was just hemorrhoids or all the buttsex. I ain’t going to no free clinic, man.
Also, God bless Sir Terry.
Daniel Phillips
Probably when I get a decent front end dev job.
Ethan Perez
It’s both, fucktard.
Isaac Reed
Wow didn’t relieaze that religion was genetic
Michael Mitchell
Well, I was raised Southern Baptist, but learned depressingly early that it was a load of bullshit. It's just that a majority of my genes are from a specific and insular coalition.
Zachary Evans
Once again, on the off chance that you aren't having a laugh, free clinics are definitely worth it if you take a book with you. I mean, you'd be reading it a home anyway, right? Might as well use that time to get a doctor who will analyze some of that blood.
Yes, Sir Terry shall leave a wound in all of our souls for years to come.
Joshua Rogers
It's a religion within a genetically insular people group. I don't give a wet fart about Eloheim or keep kosher, but my DNA is what it is.
Evan Bennett
Let me educate you my dumb Nazi fuck friend. Only 4 races exist, Caucasoid, Mongoloid and 2 variations of Negroid being Capeoid or Congoid
Benjamin Butler
I’m sorry to say that I haven’t had book reading time in months, at least, not during office hours. I think I’ll tough it out.
Still though, listening to the Thud! audiobook while writing up new transportation routes for my nonprofit in case of our impending teacher strike.
Jonathan Harris
Good luck, kind stranger.
Also, audiobooks count as reading.
Hunter Price
What's the deal with airline food?
Brandon Morales
>genetically 70.3% Jew
So, not Ashkenazi? Then no citizenship in ISISrael for you!
Gabriel Sanders
Are you religious if so what is your religion
Ian Gutierrez
23andme is known for falsifying records. They're a snakeoil company.
Asher Watson
Where do you hide your gold?
Isaac Perry
Where were you really on 9/11?
Aaron Peterson
Are you actually going to reply to these questions or are you a massive faggot?
Tyler Howard
>23andme
Enjoy being in the government database kike.
Hudson Brooks
Do you know anyone in your family who is an immigrant?
If so, where is he/she from?
Ayden Sanders
Michael Foster
Where do you hide your jew gold?
Aaron Robinson
>penny's
Apostrophes, man. What even are they?
Dylan Baker
Kek. There are ancient Jewish communities in Western, Eastern Europe, Middle East and North Africa. Great news, you are basically European/Mediterranean. So special
Justin Hughes
^^
Hudson Howard
Prove it.
Brandon Ramirez
Under those little hats they wear.
Benjamin James
yeah, i don't really care. but i love challah bread.
Noah Nelson
UNDER THEIR YARMULKES
DAMN
HOW MANY TIMES I GOTTA SAY IT
Gabriel Morales
do you own the world?
Connor Miller
How did you not know one of your parents is full Shekelstein and the other is half-Jew?
Sephardim confirmed.
Alexander Rodriguez
Do you feel shiftier now that you know you are jewish? Or were you always shifty but now it makes sense and feels right?
Blake Cruz
>Be OP
>Post ama thread mentioning jews
>Leave immediately
>Return in six months to find people still asking were the gold is
Jose Anderson
Look at faggot sHitler manlettes failing and surrendering, because they are pussies who can’t fight real men.
LMAO
Thomas Clark
How often do you drink blood? youtube.com
Jack Jones
Yeah I feel kinda bad being superior to goyshits, sadsack fucktard.
Tyler Sullivan
Are you taping all your kitchen cabinets shut on Passover?
Adam Torres
>hurt derr retarded shit
Jack Moore
No, you're a Khazar
Brayden Howard
Fake and gay, potatotard.
Kevin Gomez
Kike, you're descended from converts to the false religion of Rabbinic Judaism that you made up with the Talmud that you claim is your holy book. That book goes against everything the Bible says.
Nathaniel Perez
That's only true because of the hundreds of medals won by Einstein.
Luis Jenkins
So deflection, that's definitely cowardly behavior. I can now assume you actually are shifty or at least somewhat duplicitous. I bet if you lived in Isreal you would probably be one of those shits that study the Torah for 10 years like a draft dodging little bitch.
Liam Bell
Jackass fucktard goyshit, in case you have never heard of DNA in your trailer park full of inbred glue sniffing Slavs, it’s the genetic material in every cell that scientist can now use to determine your full ancestral line. Ashkanazi Jews are unrelated to Khazars.
google.com
You might want to update your retarded anti-Semitic pablum from 19th century debunked hoax bullshit.
Kayden Cooper
Five seconds on Google.
Mason Davis
No idea. I once made pastries for Quarar airlines for textbook money and did a lovely job. Ask more questions if you're actually curious, I guess.
Actually, yes, I am. Did you know that it's the current statistically most likely type of Jew?
I'm an atheist! I was raised Southern Baptist, but this only worked until I was roughly eight years old.
A shame. Please provide proof. I was so happy to learn that I had no markers for the likelihood of Alzheimer's.
Nowhere. I am but a poor student that took a mediocre data analysis position.
Daniel Fisher
At home, staring blankly at the television screen. I was homeschooled at the time because my fundamentalist adoptive mother had Opinions concerning the public school district.
Well, I am bisexual. So I'm only 50% of a faggot.
Julian Phillips
Listen to your butthurt little bitching. What a dumbfuck little crying pussy you are.
>“WAAAAAAAH! Jews are smarter and more successful than I am, unfair!“
LMAO
Ryder Morris
I don't mind. Nothing particularly important is attached to my physical existence.
Nope. I was adopted when I was only a few months old into a painfully white and WASPy existence. I occasionally stir the pot by bringing up conflicts between immigration policy and Christian values.
Joshua Lopez
I have Asperger's, so honestly the pennies. It's a sad state day of being, but at least I'm self-aware.
Samuel Lewis
It's still worth a laugh and a confirmation of where my intelligence came from. I promise, my adoptive family was never a realistic explanation.
Ryder Cox
Me too, tbh.
Before I knew, I found a nice recipie, perfected it, and then in invited some friends over so I could teach them how to make bread. The 23andMe happened humorously in the time between.
Samuel Butler
I will never know. I was adopted out from a sad, tired med student. Based on the events of my brother attempting to find his own roots, I'll let it be. We were both adopted, but from separate families, two years apart. His mother is a pathetic societal leech. I'd prefer to remain ignorant of my own biological family.
Brody Smith
Honestly, yes to the latter. I've always felt bored and tired of the pile of sad idiots I've had to politely deal with. Now I know that I was simply always more likely to be better than you.
Brayden Cox
Heh, no, I was afk for work.
Ryan Morris
I do unironically enjoy the congealed blood lozenges you can order in pho.
They're delicious. I always order extra.
Ryan Evans
Why not embrace your Judaism. You’ll happily discover other high IQ people like yourself, learn the wisdom of thousands of years of high IQ people, and find a high IQ Jewess to breed high IQ kids with.
Easton Scott
Nope. I'm still definitely an atheist.
You say that, but I do find blood delicious. Especially in Vietnamese food.
Explain, Sup Forumslack?
Oy, don't be mean, one of my few friends growing up was Messianic.
Anthony Smith
Oh, my SO is already quite clever. He's not as smart as me, but he keeps up with my thought process, and that's worth something.
I'd like to have more friends I could earnestly speak with, but my local generational group for Jewish activities was a little lackluster. There wasn't anything really interesting for people already into anthropological applications of religion. It was mostly entry-level bullshit.
Henry Barnes
Blood is specifically forbidden to eat. It’s goyshit “blood libel,” that the fucktard was referring to. These are the same goyshits who unironically eat pig blood and murder Jews in the same afternoon.
Gabriel Gonzalez
Ah. I've never killed a man who didn't try to end me first.
That sounds like some edgelord comment, but it's actually an interesting story if you'd like to hear about it.
Anyway, congealed pig blood is still delicious and Vietnamese exchange students were more vocal and numerous than any appearance from a monistic god.
Lincoln Hernandez
Well, From my own experience, I felt like I was existing on a completely different frequency than other people until I finally moved to a big city and connected up with a Jewish synagogue. I felt so happy being able to dialogue with others who operated at this same level.
Andrew Diaz
You were probably just missing people who attempted an analytical level of argument. I've been there, and I sympathize with you.
Cooper Cooper
Hey, I’ve lived in China and sampled congealed blood delicacies myself. I’m only pointing out, in case you didn’t know, that Christians have falsely accused Jews Of stealing Christian babies, draining them of blood, mixing it in with matzoh, and eating it as part of some occult Passover ceremony.
It would be laughable, except that Christians used it as an excuse for the wholesale slaughter of innocent Jewish people, and an opportunity to steal from those whom they have murdered.
Ryan Cox
Oh, my fellow Jews LOVE a good argument!
Julian Ward
Jewz iz kewl
Congratz
Isaiah Robinson
It's kind of you to try to inform me of this. Sadly, my interest in middle english lit let me know about this before your explanations.
All you can do at this point is laugh and remember the halcyon days of walking back to school with your Vietnamese buddies, shooting boba at eachother through your straws with cruel accuracy.
Andrew Gonzalez
Intelligent people without an insulation of social skills love arguments as well. I'll keep your tip in mind.
I was pleased about the genetic implications until I remembered the stupid jokes my friends would not release until their dying breaths.