Do any of you have any good advice on how to deal with thinking about my own death?
For as long as I can remember, I've been terrified of dying. I've tried to believe in God and an afterlife but I just can't do it. I'm absolutely convinced that at the end of my life, when I lose consciousness for the last time, it will be forever.
This scares the fucking shit out of me because i know that there will someday come a time in my life when i'm old and laying in a hospital bed or whatever, and I will fully realize that I am thinking the last thoughts I will ever think for all eternity. Every time I think about this I start to have a panic attack. My heart races, I begin to sweat, and my breathing quickens. I feel so helpless because I know there's no escaping the infinite unconsciousness of death, and it's coming.
When I've asked other people for help, they have tried to console me with bullshit like "Oh, well when you're dead, you won't even realize it!" Fuck. You. I fucking know that, and that's what scares me so much. It's like when I'm dead I may as well have never even fucking been alive in the first place. what the fuck.
I'm so fucking scared and I don't know what to do.
I'll tell you what helps me. Death is a fact of life, every living being no matter how great or powerful must meet their demise; it's a great equalizer. What helps me is thinking that when that fateful day comes, I'd be happier knowing I didn't waste precious time being alive worrying about death. It won't get you anywhere, only living will.
Most thoughtful people have a crisis about death at some point. I can tell you how I got through mine, but you have to push through your own. Basically I admitted that I have no control over this one, all controlling factor of my life. But I also realized I have no fucking interest in it. Because I realized that I don't desire this result, but it is most likely inevitable (save the singularity occuring in the next 30 years) I better not waste my time or emotions fixated on it. Otherwise I miss the good conscious bits focused on the billions of years of unconscious to come. That seems like a waste of time.
Also fuck death, maybe it has to win one round, but that's a reason to hate it not fear it.
Luke Sullivan
You normally stop thinking about that once you reach high school...
man i have the opposite problem, nonextistence sounds nice and i don't fear death at all so much to the point that I've done some really dumb shit that should've got me killed. most the time i wish i was just dead anyways
Jaxon Brown
think about it like this. the forever that happened before you were born took just as long as the forever that comes after your death. you won’t even know that you’re dead once you’re dead; dying is the scariest part of the process and that’s basically just getting hurt really bad for a few seconds.
Connor Williams
accept that it will happen no matter what and do whatever until it does.
Gavin Sullivan
(cont) for now, it’s okay to fear death, that means you have a reason to live. every normal animal fears death, because staying alive is kinda the point of existence in the first place, so being afraid of death would make sense. you just need to accept that you can not escape it.
Mason Anderson
have you tried getting your dick sucked?
Justin Baker
This. It isn't about you. I see you've "tried" all these things but pick something and stick with it longer than you're comfortable with. Death scares everyone but most of us enjoy breathing enough to compensate. Although some people are pretty fucking ready for it we're all scared of pain.
Again it's not about you. The only thing that makes this world warmer is other peoole and I would like to suggest it is maybe the fact that the world isn't warm that makes you think anout the cold.
You might think you have anxiety, but I'd be more inclined to think you actually are depressed with "situational" anxiety. Don't listen to the first quack you meet, find someone you trust
Nicholas Moore
>think about it like this >says the exact thing OP said pisses them off as a response
reaaally putting in the effort there huh?
Jackson Lopez
this. Although I kind of feel you. Whenever I feel scared of dying some day, I try to calm myself with the idea that when I die, every last atom in my body will live on to form other creatures. Hell, every ~7 years nearly all cells in your body are replaced. On a molecular level, 'you' have been many people, creatures and plants before, and will continue to do so.
Daniel Johnson
So in math there are things called outliers. So if i have a list of 20 million numbers all above 1000 and i have just one number that is lets say the number 4. Thats an outlier and you can disregard it. When you die. When you see whatever all mighty creator if there is one. Just explain to him that your death was only one day you died in your life so it is an outlier and it should be distegarded. Thus forcing them to disregard your death and revive you and you keep living.
god exists. that is how we are here. problem solve
Gavin Myers
Don't fear it, everything just goes black and it's like a dreamless sleep that goes on for eternity. enjoy!
Owen Diaz
The only reason you fear death is because millions of years of evolution demands "living" beings fear "death" when in reality they're both just different states of being. Death isnt nothing just like life isn't nothing it's just not going to be the same as this.
James Sullivan
It's time to believe in Donald Trump he can make you great again
Get busy, reeeeeally busy. Y'know i think free time's what kills people.
Kayden Campbell
What are you some fucking atheist Reddit fag?
Zachary Lee
what in the shit is wrong with you guys? Do emotions trigger you into some "I have to be an asshole" coping mechanism?
Kayden Nelson
Also, living worried about your death is like being dead already. You need distractions, cause you will die, and it'll be better if death catches you slippin'.
Jaxon Martin
Idle hands, agree
Juan Miller
Unicorns exist prove me wrong loser
literally not how the burden of proof even works, you're retarded and should kill yourself to get to your god a little faster.
Luke Edwards
OP here. fuck you. did you ever read my post?
Jacob Rivera
I figured this out at age 12. Just think about it in a calm area. For me its at a japanese resturaunt. Figure out your calm area then come to a good compromise with yourself. It takes from a few weeks to a whole life time. Just dont dwell on it too hard. That can be bad in the end. Just helpin a Sup Forumsro out.
what if death isnt quite painful, then the only thing left to be afraid of is not knowing if you go to an afterlife, reincarnation, or nothingness/whatever that would be.
But i think a good answer to that question is what did you come from when you were born, being raised catholic i believe in a soul, but cant prove a god/afterlife so i think reicarnation sounds most logical.
But to be focused so much that there WILL 100% be infinite nothingness is as bad as thinking there will be heaven so idk
Had the exact problem as you op. It kept me up all night i couldn't sleep. So i started smoking weed. Solved it for me. Now im not insinuating that you become a stoner. Eventually you will be able to keep yourself distracted and busy on other things but as soon as you start feeling the panic, just light one up. I myself only find my self smoking 1 or 2 times a week now.
Christian Green
been in ur exact situation. its gonna be hard but you eventually get numb to it. A lot of ppl dont/havent grasp the thoughts you have. Sure, they can understand it, but grasping it is a different story. sounds like an existential crisis. I used to pace in my room all night with these thoughts till 9am then go to classes. Its a fucked up world bro. I think way too much about this shit, but wont go into too much detail. Just know it takes time. I think at the end of the day it's important be nice to people and don't expect anything in return. Be there for friends. Keep in touch with family. Dont hide your feelings or ignore somebody else's. We're human. We're all alone in this world where horrible tragedies happen everyday waiting for our inevitable fate. We all have complex lives and shield our feelings from everybody, but I think that just makes us all feel more lonely. Idk I'm rambling now lol youre not alone.
Carson Walker
i read some shit somewhere where this nigga said "what was before conciousness, why is it here? why is it mostly so perfect?" i was like holy shit bruh
it's not as bad as thinking there will be a heaven. people who have Alzheimer's lose their entire selves while they're still alive. there's literally no fucking reason or possibility that there would be anything after death.
Joshua Parker
Death isn't really death, it's just a permanent loss of consciousness, you'll still be here but decomposing and becoming the dust in the universe that you always have, and always will, be.
There's very little change on the universal scale of things, we just like being conscious.
Ryder Rogers
i feel like you get it. thanks user.
can't because of my job
Parker Flores
but then your saying theres reason for there being 'nothing' after death which in itself is hard to comprehend the absence of conscientious.
Jason Wood
All things that live must die. Man alone it seems lives all his life in the knowledge of death. And yet there is more to life than merely waiting for death. For life to have meaning, there must be a purpose
Jose Sanchez
>Do any of you have any good advice on how to deal with thinking about my own death? Distract yourself
Zachary Phillips
Hopefully if you're in a hospital dying of natural causes, you'll be tripping balls on enough shit that you won't know what you're thinking
Caleb Phillips
I know saying "don't worry" won't make you magically stop thinking about it, but for real, you'll grow up, you'll lower that "memento mori" thing going on. There are things only time will heal.
Dominic Roberts
I've had your exact issue a few times in my life, I'm still terrified of that concept from time to time, but what has comforted me is that everything happens for a reason. What truly is meant to be in life happens. I have a role in this life, and I'm playing out that role. Perhaps you're in a comfortable place in your life or maybe you're going through a stressful time. But what comes next and when it comes next will always have made everything worth it. There is a reason and purpose for everything. Everytime I try to convince myself otherwise that there isn't some sort of afterlife, life just has a funny way of proving to me that there must be. I don't know if I'm making any sense to you, but there's at least a good 70 years left. Live in this moment, user. Go grab drinks, buy a new video game, take a vacation to the Bahamas, you have time. Use it.
Ian Scott
Stop pretending your life matters. When you are old and sick you will think differently anyways
Jackson Cooper
I'm going to drop this comment off at 2:28 AM, and maybe onwards of this time date on a random thread on a board, where no one will care about it in about a week. I'm just going to drop off my thoughts, and what I've been thinking for the longest of time.
Lets start. I feel as if, I actually reveal what I think about life itself, everything will go down the fucking drain. That doesn't even make sense to other people, but it does to me, and I'm actually letting everyone know of that now.
What I mean by that is, if I reveal my true feelings about myself, and the word; I feel as if I will die inside. So will my morality along with that. I don't even know why I'm posting this in the first place. I realize as I type this out, someone will probably just tell me to kill myself off, as this whole comment was useless. I agree.
I don't know, dropping this off in a thread that won't affect me later on in life, or which I hope it won't, helped me a lot. Maybe try it yourself sometime.
Hudson White
You didnt exist for nearly 100% time. Enjoy life while you can.
William Peterson
Everythi g both before and after me will die, nothing i can do about it. I've had a few accidents before and know what pain and physical trauma feel lime and its not as bad as i had thought it would be, so as far as death goes I just hope that its outside and if possible I'd like to die under a tree. Other than that whats even the point thinking about it.
Lincoln Green
You sound like you're internalizing a lot of hurt or anger. It seems common that a lot of people who have unresolved pain or anger start having thoughts like yours where you'll turn into some villain. But that's not really you. You will always be yourself no matter what. I think instead of getting some small temporary relief by typing this out, you should be saying these things out loud to someone else, sometimes listening to your own self can straighten you out, and it feels good to confide in a good listener.
Brayden Foster
Im actually more worried about others close to me dying than myself. When it comes it comes I just hope that I go once my kids are all grown, safe and secure
Thomas Lee
Fear, like yours but more formal, is the reason for the word "deadline" to be used as it is. I suppose thinking about your life as a project with an indefinite deadline could get you past this fear.
Xavier Miller
Thanks user, this means a lot. I will take this advice
Jaxon Smith
What really scares me of death is that if I were to drop dead TODAY, none to very little people would even notice, and much less would even care Its like I never existed in the first place This shit haunts me
Caleb Perez
user, there was a time you didn't exist. Your death will be no different than that, only played in reverse. you were not in turmoil before you were born, and you will not be in turmoil after you are gone. Just enjoy knowing you will just not be anymore. It will be all over, as everything else will be. In a mere several billion years the sun will expand well beyond the earth's orbit. Anything living here will be immediately swallowed up in flame, and every trace of evidence that man kind ever walked upon this earth will be vaporized. Another couple billion years or so and the sun will collapse into a white dwarf taking with it all that was of our planet and a few others and we all will be reduced into one giant chunk of crystaline carbon together.
Cameron Long
You people are telling me shit I already know, or that I already told you doesn't help.
Yes, things will change once you tell those you care about your perspective of life. Their trust and confidence in you will change (I'm not sure how). All that's expected when you get rid of a convincing facade. Those who still confide in you after you let it all out are worthy of your respect. In the case that no one remains, start your life again only as you are, and chances are you'll find proper friends and family.
Ryder Thompson
Now that I know what I'm going to lose, I don't want to go back to the infinite nothingness. I was nothing for millions of years, but now I have everything to lose.
Joseph King
Well then user. If knowing we're all headed to the same place doesn't give you any comfort, then suffer. Cry yourself to sleep while you writhe in the knowing that you're going to die. You're dying right now. We all are. Nothing can change it, you may as well accept it, and quit fearing it.
Isaac Evans
Don't fucking do it then, stupid.
Noah Hill
take some acid dude. Have a good trip. At first your fears will overcome you in a major fucking way, but a psychedelic trip is like condensed therapy. By the end of the trip, you'll have found some acceptance.
Also, further than that, go out and live your life dude! Go get your heart smashed to pieces, then you'll be begging to die.
I have a pretty gnarly anxiety disorder too my man. It's really rough, therapy helps a lot. But the main thing they try to teach you is to accept your fears, rather than being worried about the fact that you feel afraid, that just compounds the fear.
You will die one day, regardless of how much you fear it. Being afraid or paralyzed by those fears won't make your death any less certain. So what good is the fear doing you?
Just try to accept the fears. Whenever you feel afraid of death, just remind yourself, 'it is okay to be afraid of death, just about everyone is, but it doesn't really have much to do with what is happening right now in this moment.'
You need to go out and get so involved in your life that you forget that you're ever going to die. It will happen one day, possibly without any warning. So just focus on your life.
There's a lyric from a Why? song that helps me think about that kind of existential dread. 'While I'm alive, I'll feel alive, and what's next? I guess I'll know when I've gotten there.'
That's kinda the whole reason I made this thread bud. If you don't have any helpful advice then gtfo.
Kevin Bailey
i second this, being honest and letting your loved ones know about it helps you find out the ones that really matter.
Jacob Sanders
Look up Chris Langan. He's most likely the smartest man that has lived in our generation. He's concluded that there is indeed a God, but our understanding of him is mostly wrong. Look up his stuff. It's reassuring even for a person who's lost faith such as myself.
Justin Ross
This guy has some good council. Treat your fear, like OCD people should treat their intrusive thoughts. Treat them like the annoying douche bag friend you had in highschool sitting in the back seat shoutng dumb bullshit in your ear all night. Don't try to fight it off, just roll with it. Shrug. "Yeah James, we should totally go driving off a cliff and kill ourselves just because you shouted it. Totally... Fuck off James. Douche."
Ryder Rodriguez
If it helps at all, the Death tarot card is most often affiliated with drastic life changes and potential rebirth.
Anthony Hughes
Talk to older people who don't have long to live. Whether their life was mostly good or mostly sucked, most will tell you that they got some enjoyment out of their time here but now they're tired and at peace with the coming end.
Or, talk to some EMTs or ER docs and nurses. People who have been around a lot of death. Ask them what dying people talk about, especially those who died BEFORE old age. Mostly, it's not about fear of the end. Far more often it's regret about all the stuff they didn't do because their fears got in their way.
So go out and live as much life as you can in the brief time you get to live. Chances are, when the time comes, you'll be a lot happier that way.
Luke Myers
Life gets better when you really accept yourself as you are, there's nothing wrong with being anxious, overthinker, etc. It's a brave thing to do, takes time, but it is fucking key in life.
Chase Bell
Yeah, that's another great tip they gave me in therapy. Personify the fear, just keep it as the bullshit asshole that is always hanging around. When it pipes up, just pretend it is like that bullshit alt-right friend of yours that won't shut up. He's always talkin shit, but noone cares and they just ignore him. But he's also a friend so he just hangs around all the time.
Jordan Evans
You just gotta accept that it will happen, unless science does something about it. Its also more comforting knowing everyone will die and have been dying for a long time now, so youre not so alone, the one experience we all share in the end.
Lucas Johnson
OP here, i have ocd too, so ill have to try that. thanks user
John Parker
I dont think about it. If it comes it comes.
Lucas Thompson
It is all about evolution. Every organism must die, thanks to this another can be born. Thanks to other death u live :). Our live on a planet live thanks to born and death. So it is beautiful that we will die because another organism will born and maybe some day other more wisdom civilisation will raise. At the moment, when we live , 99% of all organisms on Earth ( 4,7 billions years has Earth) have already died out. So many organism so many plants have died. We(people, animals, plants, insects) are now only 1 percent of all life that existed on our planet. When we die, we create a new life. So why are you so afraid ;-)?
Adrian Cook
Didn't know how to tie noose until now. Thx
Alexander Walker
Just try to realise there is nothing you can do about it, no matter how shitty or awesome it is THERE IS NOTHING you can do to change it, that’s the only thing you know for sure will happen
If you wanted to go picnic tomorrow but saw there is rain coming, would you spend all of your day being sorry for how you will not be able to go picnic tomorrow? Of course not, so there is no point on being mad or sad about it, it will happen anyway, regardless of how you feel!
You can cry, punch the wall and curse the sky but still it will rain
Blake Smith
The ironic thing is humans actually do change the climate.
Jackson Hall
OP can’t He cries over mortality, so you think he will be able to change weather?
Gavin Bell
He changes it a little bit via butterfly effect.
Andrew Foster
I went through all my plans, up until I had the shotgun against my head, a few hours later, it hit me. I can't fucking do it, so no point thinking about it.
Ryan Carter
I know there's nothing I can do, I'm not a fucking retard. My problem is that I'm uncontrollably afraid of this and can't figure out how to stop feeling this way.
i know how you feel. i had my first panic attack last year while i was reading some stupid shit online about someone who was pronounced dead (which only means that your heart stops beating) and it scared the FUCK outa me. i was depressed for months after that. i felt so bad that i decided to take a risk and actually think about it. i convinced myself that what i read was bullshit and i started to feel better. i couldnt stop thinking about it so i decided to research death and everything related to it. dont want to bore you so tell me if you want a part 2.
Adam Martinez
why don't you just stop being a pussy ass bitch and go out and enjoy life until you actually feel like you are about to die to worry about it
Joshua Harris
There is no God
Dylan Price
Seems like the same situation here, just not nearly as severe.
Levi Carter
I hope this is not bait.
Nathaniel Morgan
Death is the ultimate reality user. Do you remember what it was like before you were born? Death is like that. Don't be scared. When your scared of dying it's like demons are trying to steal your life away, but if you've made your peace the demons become angels, freeing you from this world.
