You get to choose any superpower you want

you get to choose any superpower you want,
other anons comment conditions to that superpower.

i choose the ability to be able to pause time

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...but you can't move

the ability to make morgan freeman stop what he is doing at any given time and make him eat two pop tarts

...but he always raids YOUR pantry for them

Other people who can pause time know it is paused

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I don't have any in my pantry

then he takes your cash/credit/debit and buys them out of YOUR pocket

i can grow my fingernails faster or slower, by my choice

Not a big deal, I'll dispute the charges.

Every once of poop I eat increases my lifespan by one day.

you can only eat it in front of people you like

he buys the pop tarts on his own, but shits them into your mouth afterward

But the stress this places on your cuticles causes those strips of peeled skin to form around the nail.

invisibilty

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everything but your dick becomes invisible

But not for your poop.

Stretch Armstrong stretchy powers.

after you stretch it takes about an hour for anything stretched to return to normal

My mind immediately imagined a system of fishing rod reels to try to handle this.

The power to aggressively spray any liquid from my tear ducts.

Owning a set of rocket skates.

Inspiring the instant and complete loyalty of any dog.

it comes out with such force it knocks you over

Ha he can still think and plan ahead

...But you are not protected against theses liquids

But doing so is extremely painful.

But it will also make them try and fuck you constantly

they all secretly want to fuck you

But they're not your size.

The ability to change the color of my left toenails.

How is this any different to normal dogs?

The ability to swap the positions of two objects that I can see instantly.
>Sitting at bar with pint of my own piss
>Swap it with someone else's pint of lager
>Swap it back when he asks someone else if it tastes funny

But they will neither be able to understand your commands nor restrain themselves from perpetually humping your leg vigorously.

But only when you apply nail polish to them.

You are not training your dogs properly if they try and fuck you constantly.

Unless that's your intention, then you are training them perfectly.

But you can only do it by the atom.

Invulnerable

Lol

The ability to rotate all your joints like helicopter blades.

i can fly

I have the ability to be an hero.

Invulnerability is a side effect of being a solid, immobile lump of ultra hard metal.

It will happen randomly, often with dire consequences for those around you.

It makes your arms very tired.

My power is the ability to ignore anything

But you are resurrected 5 minutes later.

The ability to always detect a major prize-winning item (lottery ticket, McDonalds monopoly piece, prize-winning cap on a soda bottle, etc) by it having a glow that only I can see.

Shove a candy wrapper up my ass and fart out origami

The ability to suppress any desire at will

And the wounds are not healed.

The origami is always covered (understandably so) in poo.

its only origami of little dick figures

>Ignore anything

Including any wounds or illness' you have had.

But you don't learn any important life lessons because of this.

Including your sense of hunger. You end up starving to death. It doesn't bother you much.

You are always inelidgeable to claim the prize

the ability to teleport shit into peoples mouths

whenever you suppress you take the current or most recent desire of the closest person to you

Money becomes worthless

Your nemesis is this guy.

But only limited to your family members and its your own shit

I choose the ability to make any doughnut fresh and hot.. doesn't get better.

you can only use polar bear shit that you collect

but thy dick is there for smaller upon time freezage

The ability to always get dubs

Anyone who chooses invisibility can only be invisible while fapping.
Super speed is always running slightly to the left.
Elasticity( stretchy body for retards) can only be used in clostrophobic locations
Flying is only possible for as long as you can hold your breath.
Lazer vision is only possible with eyes closed.
Super strength can only be used when contracting, no extending.

Your asshole starts to leak diarrhoea whenever you get close to these winning items. Also, the larger the prize, the more intense the leakage

you have to share half of every doughnut with an ungrateful homeless man

You will put on the weight of the doughnut in fat every time.

But you cant eat them

they're never checked

But, just like reality, no one cares.

but your ass gets fucked afterwards

2 super powers? Nice.

The ability to always find a loophole in the limitations any anons try to impose on this ability.

i choose the super power of other anons not being able to add conditions to my superpower

any woman has an orgasm every time they look into my eyes.

nobody finds your superpower cool whenever you use it

But this doesn't change the fact that you're a faggot.

But you're a gay

Every woman within 5 miles of you is blind.

But you've been shipwrecked on an island with only your mom.

My butthole is an infinitely expanding pocket dimension which I can store and recall anything placed inside it from.

every time this happens you can only see that women as yourself afterwards. they become mirrors of what you look like to you

But it gets covered in an infinitely expanding amount of shit, which takes an infinitely long time to clean off.

But you have exolosive diarrhea

Ice Breath

It is always a tight and painful fit.

the ability to change anyone's race and gender

The ability to control nature as I please. I would sit my ass down in the middle of Sahara and make the worlds largest forest. After that, Australia, doing the same thing, and making Australia into the largest rainforest on the planet.

Ouch nigga too far

everytime i fart i wee myself a little

But everyone in the world is a gender/race fluid SJW

You change tkobit int wh oppiaute way

The abity to u dedatand qnjmals

"But those aren't limitations." he says as he realizes he doesn't sound very cool, but does indeed sound like a faggot.

Your changing of the natural order of the planet irreparably destroys other parts of the world.

All the time.
You live in perpetual fear of losing your tongue to frostbite.

you suck at this

You can only to it to the area that your ass is touching.

bt u cnat dedatand humns

Wth is this Klingon shit nigga?