I'm going to share my story here, and just to be upfront this story will probably piss a lot of people off. I've received damn near anything and everything I wanted out of life, and yet find myself horribly depressed anyway.
>18 >Typical nerd >Never been kissed >Heart full of dreams and eager to start real life
>Things I want out of life: >To have a hot gf that I fuck constantly >To obtain a respected occupation >To make mad money >To fall in love
>In my mind, these are the things that will make me happy >This is how I succeed at life
>First day of college >Find out a female friend of a friend goes there >We meet up for lunch >Holy shit we have so much in common >Shes decent looking >We start dating
>Four amazing years together >"user... we need to talk about our future. I want children." >We already had this talk, many years back >She had told me she did not want children >Realize that in retrospec she only stated this after I had made it clear I did not want kids >... >... >FUCK >I consider it but... >I know I never wanted children >This is a deal breaker >She leaves me >Single for the next two years
>24 >Working in the city >Hanging with some friends >Smoking hot asian girl walks in >Like, seriosly, its stupid how close she was to my idealized woman physicly >We're playing a trivia game, she misreads a card >"This director of Fullmetal Alchemist; oh wait, Fullmetal Jacket..." >HOLY SHIT SHE WATCHES ANIME >I ask her out at the end of the night >She says yes >start dating >SHES A FUCKING NMYPHO >We are no-joke going at over 20 times a week, every week
Lucas Gutierrez
>I have a hot gf that I fuck constantly
>One good year together >"So user, when are we having kids?" >... >... >FUCK >She clearly wants children >I clearly dont >She refuses to see this as a problem >I leave her
>Use this time to focus in on my work >I'm a tutor >Take all the extra hours I can >Make it clear to the boss I'm looking to stick around and move up >He wants the same thing >A year later I'm the Education Director for a tutoring center
Lucas Butler
>I have obtained a respected occcupation
>But the pay is pretty bad >Friend says his company is hiring, could use someone good at math like me >Hell yes >Transfer to new job >Impress the hell out of the COO >Almost immediate raise and promotion >Continue to kick ass there >Huge raise
Carter Davis
>I make mad money
>And here I am now living life like this >And I'm horribly depressed anyway
Money absolutely does not buy happiness. That was a hard lesson for me to learn. A lack of money causes unhappiness; these are not quite the same thing. I casually bought a huge plasma TV and a real leather recliner. Enjoyed them for about a week, now I could care less. Looking over my life, the only thing that ever actually made me happy as expected was being in love But fuck, after the two girls I've been with, I'm not going to be with anyone again who is not very clear off the bat that they dont want kids So I looked into that... HOLY SHIT The girls that dont want kids are fucking terrible If you think trying to find a good girl to be with when you want kids is hard jesus fucking christ This seems literally fucking impossible I'm just so done with all of this. I can do anything, go anywhere whenever I want. And I just don't care. I've tried a dozen different prescription drugs for depression, none of them help My problem is one that 'needs to be talked through' and ive talked to a dozen therapists and they dont help Because I have figured out me. I know what I want out of life. Its to be madly in love with a girl who is madly in love with me And for her to not want kids And I feel this is legitimately impossible So what the fuck is the point of living?
Jeremiah Gomez
Self Bump
Anyone have advice? Want to share a similar story?
Xavier Gomez
Bump
Ethan Butler
why dont you want kids
Jace Nguyen
Hey dude. Read me carefully. We are BILLIONS on this planet. Billions. Billions of women, billions of men. You're heterosexual? Still billions of women then. You have money? GO TRAVEL. Do your quest : find your woman to love that will love you as well. Try the countries where they speak english first (so that's easier for you i guess). Go visit things, and while you're doing that, talk to people. You'll be surprised of the diversity of the world, it will open your eyes AND remind you that your quest is possible. Especially because you're still quite young. No need to be depressed, you have the ways to find this particular happiness. In particular your sentence: >The girls that dont want kids are fucking terrible is wrong. I believe the ones you found were "fucking terrible", but you'll find one that pleases you eventually.
Go go go! :)
Angel Barnes
I don't know. Why do you want kids? The part of my brain that is supposed to light up or be interested in that for whatever reason just isn't. I don't understand why other people do want kids.
Andrew Perry
Hammer your nuts, tell girls you caught a rapist and beat him to death with your nuts. Get sympathy blowjob on your hard peanuts and nut sweet trail mix right down her nut bucket
I guess my concern with following that plan is I don't expect it to pay off. Its too impracticable; how would I play that? I cant just be like "Hey im in town to try and find a wife", thats creepy as shit. But I also cant just actually be there temporarily, because then the girls would clearly be looking for a hookup, not something serious.
Carson Kelly
Hooking up with girls is easy, I have no interest in that. I want a wife.
Cooper Sullivan
I know someone, no kidding, who went to Brasil just for holidays and that's how he met his wife. He went again there and she was damn surprised, but now that's years they're married, have kids and they're fine. Life is, no kidding, before everything, IMPREDICTABLE. Seriously.
Just meet the girls naturally. If they ask why you're here, be honest (so that the ones that are not honest will go away, and the ones that like that stay talking with you). Don't go too fast on the steps; first, meet, talk, see how one thinks, show how you are. You'll see clearly if it's gonna work or not. It's mental before being physical, especially since you need one that agrees not to have kids.
Also, know that at some point, hormones do their work. One can agree not to have kids (for a lot of good reasons) and suddenly FEEL the need to have kids. What's going to matter is if you (her AND you) can go over that feeling with good reasoning. Don't leave her right away, see if she can agree that her feeling is going against her will.
Colton Rivera
(and that guy going to Brasil was from Europe, so it was pretty far and expensive to him)
Nathaniel James
I feel like this is good in theory but not practice. I've seen that around 1% of women don't want kids, so I'd have to talk to about 100 people in any given location before I find one that there's even a chance of there being a connection with. And of that 1% I've found they tend to fall into categories:
1) They are over 50, divorced, all their kids are over 18 so they want to be clear they dont want to have more kids or deal with yours I'm 27, absolutly no interest in this now or waiting a decade to consider this possibility
2)They are crazy. I have seen profiles for: nudist, owns 20 cats, extremly spiritual, literal tree talker Dont stick your dick in crazy youngns
3)Adventerours. They dont want to be tied to one location, they want to be able to travel or move around the globe. This is the opposite of my personality, I would not get along with this kind of girl at all. Kinda puts a hamper on this plan in the first place when I don't like to travel. I mean, I'd be willing to put up with it in order to find a woman, but it's not something I enjoy at all.
4)Party girls. Similiar to above, they want to be at the bar or club most nights. Again, there is no way a girl like this would work with me
5)???. Hyoptheticly there should be girls out there like me who are lazy and want to stay in but also dont want kids but i have found none.
Brody Thomas
Your opinion is limited to what you saw and see. Admit that you can't see everything.
For example, about that percentage of women who don't want kids, i'd put it more around 5% from what i've seen around me. What does it prove? That we both don't know what's the percentage of the women that don't want kids. We can't.
Keep in mind there will always be more people not fitting in categories you create, no matter how many you understand there are.
Also, some in category 2 could fit you. Maybe less spiritual, not tree talker, but a bit crazy and still agreeing with you on some main topics. Believe me, craziness has extremely interesting features.
Category 5 is true. So, do the first step and travel. Make it just "holidays" if you don't like much travelling, but no kidding, seeing other countries is already a big mind-opener that you can't understand before doing it. Plato's cavern. No kidding. Especially not the so-called-western-countries. And it helps finding enjoyment.
Dominic Peterson
Your first point is absolutely correct. I am shaped by my experiences; it is quite possible the actual percentage is around 5% and I've been unlucky.
So, I'm going to travel; where would you recommend? I've never gone anywhere with the intention of meeting a woman, how would I do that? I've only ever used dating sites, I doubt girls at bars are looking for foreigners who want a serious relationship...
shit, wait, kinda feel like this plan is immediately flawed. Lets say I do meet a woman, what then? Is she supposed to uproot her life for a guy she met at most a few weeks ago? Am I supposed to start just living there and look into getting a job in the area?
Justin Torres
Well...... clearly you musn't start saying you have money (if she's interested by money, she'll pretend to be what you want, if she doesn't like money she'll think you're showing off).
So start by saying you're here on holidays, and when it gets personal, be honest, you are looking for love.
Also, while i've not experienced it by myself i know for a fact the instant-enormous-both-ways-love is real. So you still might find it that way.
Don't jump from the "i meet a woman" to "we make our life together". While this is your goal, the steps in between are important. Not just to her but to you also, because if you fail those steps in between, you'll possibly end up with a woman not fitting you for quite some time. Steps in between : start to understand her, have her starting to understand you (
Jose Foster
I might just give this a try
Thanks user
Alexander Moore
Was my first time posting by the way. I was touched by your story, so i hope it is true because i answered sincerely. :)
Jayden Jones
Holy shit Yes, this is all true and your sincerity is appreciated.
Alexander Richardson
Try not to be obsessed by your quest. It is important (i had quite one similar), essential to your existence, but still, life has way more to offer than just "fulfilling this need". See things, try things (stay safe though), this goal will stick to you anyway, so no need to think ONLY of it.
I'm leaving now (time to sleep here), cya, and good luck!
Aaron Wright
Peace user
Ryan Morgan
holy shit i found a live green text hope OP doesn't killl him self after
Jace Harris
Eh, no real reason to kill myself as of now. Worst realistic case scenario I'll drift around for awhile and live off my savings, not really doing much of interest, waiting for death to take me naturally.
Just because there is no reason to live doesnt mean there is a reason to die.
Justin Rogers
sorry saw the "this might piss people off part" and thought this was gonna be another liliad or something like that. but after reading your story OP i hope you find that perfect girl your looking for, everyone is. well time to study spanish
