I found my ex girlfriend's spare truck key in my room while cleaning it today. She still drives the thing around...

I found my ex girlfriend's spare truck key in my room while cleaning it today. She still drives the thing around, I see it on occasion. She really fucked me up when she left me. Won't go in to details but I'm pretty hurt and pissed off. I do have an option to give it back to her in class but I also love a bit of fuckery. What should I do here Sup Forums?

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Wait for a warm day.
Pour buttermilk in the floor boards.
Profit!

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You could grow the fuck up, but if not you could off yourself

Drive it into a lake

Walk up to her.
Hand her the key.
Tell her you found it and that it belongs to her.
Turn the fuck around a walk outa there, knowing the last part of her is finally gone.

Keep the key and everytime you see the car in a parking lot, move it to a different spot

this

Fill her car with methane filled balloons and put saran wrap around her car, like the whole thing

Idk eat it?

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That's fucking boring and no fun at all

bed joke

This.

What the fuck...


Here what ya do OP, one day when you see it parked somewhere steal it and park it in the shittiest neighborhood in your town. Leave the key in it, door open and some nignog will take that shit for a joyride. Then sit back and yfw

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>What should I do here Sup Forums?
Slide it into your peehole slowly then return it to her unwashed.

Was gonna say the same thing but with popcorn kernals. Just a shit tonne of popcorn kernals

Take a dump or/and a piss inside her truck. Or better yet, make someone else do that. Or even better yet, make an animal do that. Or everything combined. Use the truck as a gay scat porn move stage.

Boring, yes but it will make the woman lose her mind if he shows 0 interest. The best way to hurt a woman is to not react.
Sounds like somebody is attracted to Africans.

One of the most measured, levelheaded posts I've seen in a while. Cheers, sir.

However, I agree with this user. You should drive that shit into a lake, or off of a cliff.

Just move it a few spaces every chance you get.
No harm done, except inside her head.

Give her the key back. Be the bigger person.

take a huge shit andy sixx style in the dashboard

Fill her truck with a fuck ton of raw salmon. Catch a skunk with a trap and release it in there too.

put key on sign on truck that says free truck

Put 3 pigs in it and paint the numbers "1, 2 & 4" on them. It'll take a crane to get them out.

Why not just fuck some new girl in her truck

Share her nudes!

eat a bunch of sugar cubes, get diabetes, then pee in the gas tank

Are you serious about this, or are you just playing? If you're serious about this, and you're ready to commit to the long con, here's what you do.
>over a period of time whenever you see her car, move it very slightly.
>pull it up to almost block a driveway
>if she parks in a space move her car to the next space over, or double park it
>Change radio station to the same thing all the time, some sort of talk radio would be good
>crack the windows slightly
Over time she will think she is going crazy, but not before spending money diagnosing her parking brake, windows, and whatever else you fuck with

Line the door handle heavily with ammonia, and line the steering wheel with bleach. If your lucky, she’ll be pretty fucked up too.

Sell it to the highest bidder on craiglist.

Put key in ignition, break key off

Metal shavings in the oil

Nothing illegal that can be traced back to you. If you’re mature, then hand it back to her. If you have the urge to do something vengeful, then it’s proof that you’re still lingering onto something, giving her the key will be a big step to moving on

Leave the key in the door and write a note and put it on the window that says: "free to the first nigger".

listen up

>you want it to be quick and simple

if you let the car get stolen, she will get back insurance money.

you need to completely ruin the car without making it obvious that someone DID anything to her.

you can get stink bombs in glass vials.
>get a bunch of them
>empty them into empty bottles.

then find a suitable time where you can enter her car.
>make sure you soak all seats so that the smell will never leave (without her changing out the seats)
>and get some into her aircondition as well.

if she has dark seats, it wont even be vissible at all.

get as many of these stink bombs as possible.

true to some extent, assuming she has any interest at all in him still

This

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just give it to her, it’s a difference between exposing someone and damaging their property. Post her nudes if you want but damaging her property is not worth the court time user

IF DUBS SHOVE UP YOUR ASS AND POST PICS

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Kek, it's funny because I'd bet 10 times outta 10, hoes would rather have their car destroyed than their nudes exposed.

Gotta do something that would really fuck over the car, but anonymously

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You want advice from someone who was seriously burned by their ex but has had years to look back on it? Keep the key. It’s collateral, it’s your nuclear option. Cut her out of your life and move on. But if she fucks with you down the road (which she may, because people, especially women, are spiteful and unpredictable) you have the nuclear option.

Best case scenario? You both move on and let and let live. One day you look at the key years from now, she probably won’t own that vehicle anymore, and hopefully you’ll realize she doesn’t own your heart either. Throw the key in a fucking lake and be satisfied.

Good advice. I'd rather him crash the thing into a bog or burn it, but hey.

How'd you get seriously burned by your ex?

Flamethrower

On a hot day put a piece of raw chicken in a nice hidden spot or compartment.

Unlock the car, pop the hood, lock the car again. Open up the hood and unscrew the oil cap, drop the key in and close everything all up like nothing ever happened.

...what?

Your significant other used a flame thrower against you? Holy shit.

>time to explain

It was a joke ya dingus. I’m out

Yes, please
Explain that wtf

This

that won't do anything anytime soon, you'd have to pour metal shavings or sand down there.

Hey. OP. In case no one else has said it, doing anything to her truck, anything at all, can and will fuck your life over if you get caught, dude.

I'm not gonna tell you what to do, I'm just sayin', make sure you know exactly what you're gonna do and how you're gonna do it before you move forward.

This, but make a copy, keep it and give her the original

This

But will leave a god awful sound and cause lots of damage

Put an ounce of coke in her trunk. Then break the wire to her tail lights.

Everybody appreciates a good practical joke!

Slash 3 tires so she doesn’t get coverage, and stick the key in one of the cut areas of the tire, making sure it’s poking out.