Reconnected with a friend I had a crush on back in college. Help me get laid Sup Forums...

Reconnected with a friend I had a crush on back in college. Help me get laid Sup Forums. dubs decides what i respond with

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Yes, I'd like that

What the fuck did you just fucking say about me, you little bitch? I’ll have you know I graduated top of my class in the Navy Seals, and I’ve been involved in numerous secret raids on Al-Quaeda, and I have over 300 confirmed kills. I am trained in gorilla warfare and I’m the top sniper in the entire US armed forces. You are nothing to me but just another target. I will wipe you the fuck out with precision the likes of which has never been seen before on this Earth, mark my fucking words. You think you can get away with saying that shit to me over the Internet? Think again, fucker. As we speak I am contacting my secret network of spies across the USA and your IP is being traced right now so you better prepare for the storm, maggot. The storm that wipes out the pathetic little thing you call your life. You’re fucking dead, kid. I can be anywhere, anytime, and I can kill you in over seven hundred ways, and that’s just with my bare hands. Not only am I extensively trained in unarmed combat, but I have access to the entire arsenal of the United States Marine Corps and I will use it to its full extent to wipe your miserable ass off the face of the continent, you little shit. If only you could have known what unholy retribution your little “clever” comment was about to bring down upon you, maybe you would have held your fucking tongue. But you couldn’t, you didn’t, and now you’re paying the price, you goddamn idiot. I will shit fury all over you and you will drown in it. You’re fucking dead, kiddo.

I tried
>reroll
I tried again

>few days
Reconnected
what?

haha yes

hey lemme smash

Shit or get off the pot, sex me now

DO IT OP BOTH

Winner winners chicken dinners

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you already got laid, don't count on anons to fuck this up for you.

Rolll

Way to fuck it up

Have a plan homei

"Thatd be dope, lets grab a drink at _______"

Yawn

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Show bobs and vagene

ROLL

yaaaaaaaaasssssssss

On this day op was not a faggot

i wanna see whAT she sez

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Nah, but really, you should come over; we'll start up a movie and then not watch it.

reroll
for the d
give her thine d

Rolling for this tard

well you definitely aren't getting laid now

gad reroll

High on horse semen

To be fair, you have to have a very high IQ to understand Rick and Morty. The humour is extremely subtle, and without a solid grasp of theoretical physics most of the jokes will go over a typical viewer’s head. There’s also Rick’s nihilistic outlook, which is deftly woven into his characterisation- his personal philosophy draws heavily from Narodnaya Volya literature, for instance. The fans understand this stuff; they have the intellectual capacity to truly appreciate the depths of these jokes, to realise that they’re not just funny- they say something deep about LIFE. As a consequence people who dislike Rick & Morty truly ARE idiots- of course they wouldn’t appreciate, for instance, the humour in Rick’s existential catchphrase “Wubba Lubba Dub Dub,” which itself is a cryptic reference to Turgenev’s Russian epic Fathers and Sons. I’m smirking right now just imagining one of those addlepated simpletons scratching their heads in confusion as Dan Harmon’s genius wit unfolds itself on their television screens. What fools.. how I pity them.

And yes, by the way, i DO have a Rick & Morty tattoo. And no, you cannot see it. It’s for the ladies’ eyes only- and even then they have to demonstrate that they’re within 5 IQ points of my own (preferably lower) beforehand. Nothin personnel kid

rell

2nd assist

reroll

lel

tell her that you have a forklift operation certificate

there we have it

kek do it op

>3d
it goes in all fields.

fun aside, tho
we should fuck

I'm being serious. I want to tickle your shitter. send me nudes

I think i feel a lump in my left testicle. Im really worried, can you come check it for me????

reroll for either, dealer's choice

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dear god

fucking lol

God damnit

Roll

lol

Reroll

BITCH BITCH OGGAA BOGGA FUCK ALL NIGGERS FUCK HILLARY CLINTON FUCK BLACK PEPOLEEE I HATE THEM HEIL HITLER

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2nd attempt

Ooga booga nigga nigga

Cocaines one hell of a drug(horse semen guy)(reroll)

I don't know how long I've got, the CIA injected me with something they called "EPS", it's making me say these things

ask her to peg you

I've always had a crush on you and I'm playing a dumb internet game but someone out there thinks we should fuck and this is their submission.
Send nudes. That's for me, not the kid texting you. Please respond.

re goddamn roll for nudes

sharpie in pooper?

rollan again
need dem nudes
bitches love honesty

Get ready to disconnect with your “reconnected crush”

this
or

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ONE MORE TIME FUCK

So laura, fuck all that shit i said in the earlier 3 messages. have you watched rick and morty?

who the fuck cares if you have? no one. Rick can turn himself into a pickle rick Laura, but my
dick is fat as a pickle, i want to tickle your asshole with my pickle dick. so are you down yes or no.
shiiet i've had a crush on you since college, all i ever wanted to do was to dip my pickle into your sweet ass and make you eat a bowl of fucking eggs.

I wish you had a weewee then maybe we could be friends again

savage
rolling for salvage

You mom was better anyway

gg no re

>123
fukkin roll

Needless to say unless this chick is fucking retarded you arnt getting laid for the rest of your life

Its over boys. Send this tho

"Listen bitch, let's not turn this rape into murder"

last one
I give up
kek wills it

>Needless to say unless this chick is fucking retarded you arnt getting laid for the rest of your life
fukin lol

Rolling for this guy

rect

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Winrar

rolling for this

thank you, stranger

Do this one too

wanna see my rick and morty tattoo?

ey gurl u wnt sum fuk?

Rollin for this godsends suggestion

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rollan

all jokes aside though, you are cute, and i've thought about that since college.
in my eyes you are pretty much a 8/10, and sure we could meet up and take a coffee, but why would we.
when we could go to a fancy place, eat good food and get fucked up together on wine and dinks, rent the suite at the ebst hotel and fuck all night. then repeat it again the next time you feel like drinking fucking coffee

kek

My penis is like my soul
Black and hekka small

WINRAR

>omfg
>dude
>whut

Sorry, that was my "Friend" who took my phone

checked

Winrar

we lost

NICE

ask her if he too gets head from a vacuum

More like up syndrome because you need to be high as shit to stand his ass

Can I fuck him instead?

I already fucked robbie in the pooper bitch, ur next

this isn't really me. i am the medium for Sup Forums

>ebst
I respect your effort but I feel it will be fruitless.

pretty much this