Ask a paranormal investigator anything
imb4
>No, I don't use cameras and heat sensors to find ghosts.Those guys are assholes. I use occult means and exorcism rites (Mostly Key of Solomon and Kabbalistic based) to help people who need it.
>No, its not my main source of income, most cases are schizos or edgelords or people who are paranoid.
>Yes spooks are real, although as a Catholic I try not to put any labels onto anything. I've seen some pretty convincing evidence to support "stuff" that is usually associated with Norse Paganism, Judeo-Christian style demons, Germanic fairies, Islamic Djinn, (Fuck those guys in mosques are useless though, good luck finding any real info on them that isn't shrouded in horseshit) and ghosts.
>Yes I have punched a cultist in the face. He wasn't legit though, kid was an edgy "Satanist" who chopped up his dog and was raping his sister.
Ask a paranormal investigator anything
how much is that gun worth?
have you actually succesfully """"killed"""" something, or just exorcisms of things you didnt know was even there
ever shot a silver bullet in someone
I think I might have been in the presence of a wendigo
>raping his sister
Stopped reading there
I don't mean to be rude but that looks really autistic
Also, I didn't sleep last night at all. I took a nap this afternoon, and when I woke up, I couldn't remember shit fo 5-10 minutes. I legit thought that I was living' in china for some reason
Please explain this
My neighbours dog was possessed so I shot it in the face.
Same thing happened with my wife
it is the only way to deal with rabies after all
Why would you kill her
This kit costs around 5 million, every John Wick has one.
The bullet actually breaks your wrist when shot Most of the force is backfired. This is to prevent demonic posession.
And the dildo is just for personal use. I like how the wood absorbs the scent of my asshole.
What do ya' bet OP isn't replying because he's busy getting some wine to drink?
She was trying to kill me. She put iceberg lettuce in my sandwich. I asked for Romain lettuce.
Good, you didn't miss much
I am an occultist. I live in a life of poltergeist activity.
I will tell you we are not evil, most cults (Golden Dawn, Mason's) have no bad intentions.
These are spiritual knowledge systems employed to achieve a state of enlightenment. Spirits are undeniably real and never have bad intentions, they live inside of us and project to the outside.
They are trying to make us aware that a higher power is always with us, watching and supporting us. These spirits will bring forth external confrontation in attempt to help you solve internal issues.
The more they are ignored, the worse the problem gets. The human soul is the babadook
That's farther than I got
are you self taught?
>interdasting
Have seen all Potter movies
Not mine, I don't make enough to own a legit vampire hunting kit and I've never needed one.
>have you actually succesfully """"killed"""" something, or just exorcisms of things you didnt know was even there
I took a cross-country trip across Europe and Iceland, there was a dude who was "performing miracles" in Reykjavik, watched the mother fucker make it snow on command and made this woman cry blood tears. He was in cahoots with "something" and I called him out on it. I didn't see anything but whatever it was beat the absolute shit out of me, woke up in a hospital.
>I think I might have been in the presence of a wendigo
No you haven't.
>I stopped reading at the end of the post
Well done.
Sleep paralysis. Read before bed.
>or edgelords
thats you tho
What do you do other than the exorcism job of yours?
How would I start getting into your field of occupation? I've always been interested by paranormal shit.
But to answer your question, not in the Constantine sense. Preformed plenty of exorcisms though, never on people (don't got the stomach for that shit) but in the process of banishing some stuff I've been tossed around, had shit broken over my head, ect
>last words
>stopped reading
wot
Private investigation, aka spying on cheating wives.
Don't
Not sleep paralysis, man, I was up and about, but I couldn't remember anything:
>what day it was
>my plans
>why I exist
>what country I live in
>recent news
It took me a full 30 mins to actually regain complete awareness and memory
You would have a field day with me, faggotier
niche market
> yes spooks are real
What, that's pretty lame
>let me bring up something totally unrelated
have you seen Game of Thrones?
Have you ever ridden a horse?
Try me
Stuff like this is mostly sleep-related, trust me if anything was out to get you, it'd make its presence known.
Then what else makes spooky noises in the woods?
These woods used to be indian hunting grounds. It sounded like a whale, but different
I don't believe in ghosters. I just wanted to know how well I can trip on sleep deprivation.
Why shouldn't I start doing paranormal investigation, niggy?
What's the deal with airline food?
Never had an experience with a Wendigo, but honestly if the "being a shit will turn you into a monster" aspect holds any merit half the planet would be Windegofied
buy salvia if u wanna trip
this
one time I saw the peanut bag slide by itself
What's the most fucked up thing you've dealt with?
What's the easiest way to prove that ghosts and shit are real?
Did the ghost touch your peepee?
Holy shit dude, that's terrifying
but drags queens are bad
Shit will absolutely get pissed at you, I break a bone almost every other year doing monotonous stuff, my secretary fucked off from my office when the cross I keep on the wall knocked her front teeth out. Also non stop nightmares, it affects you and the people you love, so there has to be a lack there of of the latter.
Be delusional and manipulate photos and videos.
The only way to save the crew was to aquire the pilots cabin and steer the plane into one of these two big buildings. There were some injuries, but I saved us all from those nutz
16 years and not a day I don't think about it
I broke 13 fingers when a hole punch threw itself off my desk, you've NO idea the forces at work here, a fucking thumbtack to the testicle when I went to the basement, nightmares... it affects you...
How does a ghosts clothing transcend death when it has according to catholic doctrine no soul? Why aren't all ghosts naked?
I have no people I love (edgy i know) and I already get nightmares from dumb gay shit as a kid. Also, why did you have a secretary, are you a really high class PI or something? Most that I've seen live in alleyways or tents.
How do you advertise yourself?
Solomon magic
Sex magick cult in Sweeden, they kidnapped people off the streets and held them for days without food and water. This girl who had to be less than 15 was strapped to a chair and babbling in whatever the fuck demons speak, I spent around 12 hours prepping an exorcism rite but it went wrong and she lost an eye. I don't really wanna give out anything beyond that as it'd be an insult to her.
>He was behind of it.
Aren't there banishing rituals or barriers you can use to cleanse and protect your home? Sort of like the "don't shit where you eat" philosophy, ie keep your home clean and safe?
>believing anything the catholics tell the plebs
they only tell their excorcists the good shit everything else is to keep the people in line
You play too many vidya games. pics of that underage gil, or didn't happen
Oh cool, I didn't know Bruce Willis was on Sup Forums
She was a friend of the family.
What you think you can find me in the yellow pages? I know guys who know guys who hear shit. Like I said, real stuff is rare.
I fucking knew it! Fucking poltergeist motherfucker.
Just looked up Bruce Willis to make sure I'm still bald. Found this:
Yea but holy shit do you know how much dedication that stuff takes? Give me the broken bones.
@OP, is this fire boi gonna be a toasty ghosty?
Tragedy haunts that man.
I see dead people
most likely
How come when u exercise your arms they get stronger but, if you exercise a demon its disappears?
magic
HEY
I saw a shadow demon once.
Several years ago, I was sleeping in bed, then i wake up and hovering over me. (Parallel to me) there’s this ghost of darkness watching me sleep.
I had the unnerving feeling he was me.
Anyway, i try to move away but i realized im paralyzed, scared so i close my eyes. Suddenly i am able to move. Sprint towards the light switch... nothing is there...
I know the science nerds call this the ol’ sleep paralysis.
Just curious about your take. Also user, was that shadow... me?
my dog's pissed at me. Time to hit the sacc
Is he more likely to blame Bruce Willis for it because of his curse or his fellow firefighters for failing to save him?
maybe one day but i'm not finished yet here OP.
>original planet
g'night and cheers
You havent been injured so let it be .think of it as a friend taking care watching over you
Which one is a spook?
The spook isn't in the picture
ITS RIGHT BEHIND YOU
Oh fu-!
This would have been funny if the guy was albino.
>I know sleep paralysis explains this explains this to a t
>but it can't be it
You must not get much business.
Posting here was my first clue.
Second, most people prefer a science-based approach they can understand, even when dealing with a subject they do not understand.
>You must not get much business.
You got me there
>I usually talk to my buddy with a masters in psychology before anything serious. I am EXTREMELY skeptical.
theghostinmymachine.com
IVe moved away since then,
Anyway i also went to an b&b in spain, they gave us a secluded part of their huge house, at the very top. Had to walk a spiral to get there. Gf and i hear a distinct & loud knock on the door. Open it, nobody there.
SpooooO0ky
As a Catholic, why would you use the Keys of Solomon or the Kabbala to perform your exorcisms. Doesn't the Catholic church have their own means?
Most experiences I've had with the paranormal seem to be involving ghosts. I have two schizophrenic friends I believe to be under demonic (or non-human spirit) influence as well.
t. gnostic luciferian
Creepypasta is the worst thing to ever happen to me, fuck these kids. I had a mother scared shitless because her daughter was convinced she was being stalked by Slenderman. I had to sit her down and explain the whole thing. Made some good money off the time though.
There were a few popes that used it, way too lazy to find the names. Yes, the Catholic church has their own means but to be blunt, they're shit and communicating with the thing, or with a demon ( I usually go to Murmur) is much more effective.
What time was it, also do you remember the month? day of the week?
Yes, the book of Pope Honorius, and there are many more. Though the authenticity of those books is debatable. I've never really looked into the actual Catholic exorcism ritual though.
when I was a kid (14) my mom and siblings use to find me sleepwalking around the house and talking to "someone" and later after a few more times I told them it was a lost girl or something. I had no memory of it. Then my dad told me that in his new house his wife saw a little girl at the foot of their bed at night once. funny thing I was staying there the night she saw "her". Should I be worried? this happend around 10-12 years ago.
Riutal Romanium is good, I've had success with it. Good fucking luck finding it in english though.
It was during the first month of summer vacation, so late June, early may. That would have been between 2004 or 2006
I wouldn't worry about it, if it isn't hurting you, you can chill. I'm not going to pretend I know what it is though.
There are certain hours that are ruled by different angels, you can evoke them to help you if it gets bad
Woah
Should have asked for a “dan akryoid”
have you ever found raping apparitions an useful method for expelling them
So far none of them seem to be aggressive, i worry more about the people around me than ghosts.
>Riutal Romanium
Interesting. I found english translations on amazon but they're a little spendy, as all books on the occult tend to be. Thanks for the rec
Can u imagine the next gen of feminist ghosts.
You’re just sitting there, in your living room sofa, legs spread apart slightly.
*suddenly*
“STOP RAPING ME”
Spooyskhit usually operates on a "dont fuck with me, I wont fuck with you" basis.
The vast majority of legit cases are mostly due to people fucking with shit they dont understand, or are practicing with ill intent. Which is hilarious because every legit grimoire I've read usually contains something like, "DONT FUCKING BE BAD NIGGA"