I failed at overdosing last week but still want to kill myself...

I failed at overdosing last week but still want to kill myself. I've been depressed for years and have been wanting to die for the last year or so, but I live in the UK so a lot of the easy ways to go are out of the window. What'd be the easiest way to kill myself, preferably in my sleep or something that I can do easily (like overdosing on something specific).

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Have you tried taking anti depressants? Or talking with a therapist?

Bro relax. youll be fine. im mentally ill myself and trust me the right meds will fix you up fine.

Yes, been on medication several times, a couple of them made things a lot worse, and some of them did nothing/very little. My parents paid for a private therapist a couple of weeks ago and he cancelled my next appointment saying he didn't feel he could help.

It took me 8 years trying 30+ medications to find the right four that I take daily. haven't been hospitalized for 5 years, live a happy and full and productive life.

This has been an issue for a long time, and although we have free healthcare here they seem to not really care much. This isn't an overreaction or something bad happening causing me to snap. This is just what I want, I've seen what life has to offer, been through the ups and downs, nothing seems worth the pain and hardship. Life just isn't for me.

The most powerful/fast acting/effective medication I've ever taken for depression is called lamotrigine. It eased suicidal depression starting under 5 days.

If you don't mind me asking, how old are you, op?

Do you genuinely fear for your well-being? Get yourself sectioned m8, they'll at least help you feel relaxed for the time being

I won't lie, I came on here after a few years because the Sup Forums I remembered would have encouraged me and told me how to do it.

Go out and experience life. Take a walk in the park or go to a concert for your favorite band. Try to get a job and work for a living, not saying you already don't have one.

21, you may say that's a young age but I've still experience life a lot more than the average 21 year old. I got kicked out at 17, was homeless for a little while, been through countless jobs, drug addiction, alcoholism, love. I've had everything I could ask for and I've also had nothing, yet this never stopped.

Fear for my wellbeing? I'm not afraid to want to die.

Sup Forums is full of faggots this days.

I've experienced quite a lot of life, I've had a fairly chaotic life over the last 4-5 years, I've experienced enough for me to know that this is what I want.
I hate that people are caring for me irl and online, I hate that people are trying to put effort into me when I don't want it. I'm not worth their effort, I'm not worth the tears that would be shed when I die.

I know I'm just some random stranger on the internet, who means nothing to you, but you still have plenty of time to turn your life around. I know things can get bleak (I suffer from depression as well) but death is so permanent. Don't let the depression win, op.

Supplement thyroid(t3) aspirin and caffeine, you're hypothyroid, bro.

Interested in this, what makes you say that? a quick google search and the only things that match are low tolerance to cold and depression.

>I hate that people are caring for me irl and online
Just calm down and take it in. You have people across the sea that are happy knowing you're alive even if they don't know your name.
Don't get too stressed out about it, just think about that fact when you're going to sleep tonight. And make sure you wake up the next morning.

Get pills that will make you sleep, rent a car, buy a garden hose, run the hose from the exaust to the interier.

no driving license and very little money, that all went on drugs and alcohol over the last couple of weeks.

Your metabolism is messed up

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Suicide by cop

I'd be very shocked if this was caused by my metabolism. I can't remember a time where I was happy with my life, I got bullied in school, had constant arguments with my parents, had issues holding down jobs and paying bills, drug addiction and alcoholism, relationship fails and lost most of my friends. I'd sooner believe any or all of those would be a larger cause, but they're all just part of life, and won't stop happening regardless of what I do, so why bother? why go through that constant pain?

Despair is driven by hormones.

Fix metabolism -> fix hormones

A good metabolism makes you feel warm and comfy, I can provide scientific proof of all of this, but not sure if I can paste links here. Also traumatic experiences mess up metabolism and this is a scientific fact.

Shame is Spider-Man.

Either you're basically denying mental health issues or you're saying they're caused by metabolism, I don't really get how that works but that doesn't really matter to me, I'm sure I can get better after a long time, but I just don't want to go through that, I'd rather just end it now anyway. It makes no difference to me if i die now or in 50 years, I won't remember it regardless, why not take the shortcut and cut the bullshit out?
I'm not a nice person, I've lied and manipulated people to get what I want and I'm really good at it. If i want drugs I can get the money within a day or two, I've not paid rent in 9 months. I'm past the point of caring.

I bet you've never done LSD. LSD is quite dopaminergic and strongly opposes serotonin, drives metabolism into high gear and if supported by enough fuel(glycogen) will make any problem appear minuscule and just existing really pleasurable. There's studies done before it was illegal that show that it can help people overcome pretty traumatic experiences and depression.

One of the few things I've never tried, don't have access to it.

There's many ergot derivatives that are not illegal and have pretty much the same effect as LSD without the visual hallucinations.

then where's the fun in that? you have to realise that I don't want to try and get better, I'll only end up fucking my life up again if i do.

Two questions
> 1.What makes life so insufferable if you had to narrow it down to one thing?
> 2.Have you tried every possible way to tackle that problem?

1. No reason to put up with the bullshit in life.
2. I've tried finding a reason, I found it and then it cheated on me and I realised that even if i found happiness, I will eventually lose it all again.

I've tried multiple different ways of finding a reason to live, the only one I found was to live for someone else and to love them, and for them to love me as I can't seem to love myself. As cheesy as that sounds it's true.

Hey op im at the same conclusion although im 20 ive just been through to much. Also seeing other people do "life" better just makes it worst. I've isolated myself from family and friends. I cant help them in anyway im useless in my own eyes and the only advice people like me and you get is shit we know and think about all the fucking time. If your curious heres my plan: wait until im 21 get a gun (American) get a gas can and a zippo lighter. Go to bar get drunk. Go to forest ,got a spot picked, douse myself light zippo and blow brains out, burn.

Sounds really familiar, the only thing I'd say is that I've felt this way for a long time, I don't agree with people killing themselves because of a short term issue. If it's been going on for a long time and that's what you truly want, then nobody should be allowed to stop you.
I live in the UK so sadly I can't take that way out otherwise I would, I've often thought about how easy it'd be if I had a gun.
Also can confirm that drinking a shit ton makes making the decision 100x easier.

Happiness is fleeting maybe you need to find a higher calling.Have you tried that.I know it's not popular, but I find my calling by following the bible and helping those in need.I'm not saying do that,but maybe finding something bigger than your self more important than you will help you see why life is worth living.Like a certain person in your life or a change you might want to fight for in the world.

Like i said, I found that and lost it. I'm not willing to put myself through that again. I have no issue with religious people but that's just not for me. I've given money to the homeless only to see them 10 minutes later buying drugs or alcohol. I've tried helping people only for them to stab me in the back.
People are toxic and selfish. I don't want people to care for me or help me, and I'm not willing to help myself because I can't make myself see the point in it all. So the only logical option for me is to kill myself and stop causing people so much time, money and effort.

Its time that bothers me, i cant have any relationships because in my head time flies and that friend/gf/Family gets old and dies or betrays me causing me to not trust them and i all i can do is sit there and just fear it... Its true fear i mean ive been scared but this it does shit to you 3 yrs ive had this shit in my head ive had abusive parents. I was left in a crawlspace for 3 weeks etc etc dont really want to talk about it, but this fear i cant run i cant forget it i cant function with it parents forced me to take anti depressants to zombify me. I cant get help because i lie. im worthless cant even be happy right im not doing this much longer but i do want to go to a bar just once to see what the fuss is about. Not angry at others dont blame them just disapointed in myself. Never thought this would've happened to me. 5 yr me wouldn't like what i am. its to much. Ive had this plan awhile. at first it was just edgy humor then shit just kept happening. Its life that's it nothing more nothing less. Also ty OP tbh im still scared of how i'll feel when i take the walk.

isn't is sad that you say you know what you want and other people are saying that you should do what they want you to do.. The world used to be a "you can do what you want" kind of place, and it still is but for some reason people have been brainwashed into thinking they're helpless. It makes me sad.

Don't kill you, try some drugs and feel happy, that's what I did

If you have discord then add me, Esxc#6790. I'm not going to try anything tonight but from my point of view it'd be nice talking to someone that sees things the same way rather than someone trying to talk me out of what i want to do all the time. But you don't have to if you don't want to.
Going to bars is fun if you go with a friend, getting shitfaced and walking around town can be a laugh. Drinking on your own with the same mentality is me will only make you feel worse though (hence why I do it when I try to kill myself).
I've also had a shit ton of experience with drugs, which were some of the most fun nights of my life but are only a temporary and artificial happiness, it all comes back once they wear off.

I also think about this a lot. Other user's opinion on the hedgehogs dilemma or whatever it's called would be appreciated.

Our options:
>give ourselves up completely
no
>live with the pain
maybe
>distance yourself from others to relieve the pain
maybe
>use others like a sociopath so they are in pain instead of you
no

am I missing anything?
tips to distance yourself while still being able to know the joys of love and life?

Plenty of trains in the UK, right?

Yes, I've been trying to get people to see that I truly want this, and that they shouldn't be sad about it and should accept that this is what I want, it's sad that no matter how much I try they always say that things will get better.
I've tried plenty of different drugs, and although they're fun as fuck, it's only temporary and artificial happiness, not really what I need but it has kept me going.

I say keep fighting I've had a shit life aswell.Don't give up I care and I love you.I've been down the same road trust me.Don't do it.

If you haven't tried dissociatives use them. DXM help me think about stuff (can't talk much because i'm high right now). Acid also helps you sometimes

Im a realist i just dont see me helping myself. I dont expect people to help me. OP just wanted to tell you im at the same point. I was just, not happy but... relieved that there was someone who shared my view point my first time here so at the least i found out there were more people who saw it the same.

1. I can't make the jump off a bridge or infront of a train, I guess I'm too much of a coward. However I sat and ate like 100 pills last weekend with no issue, guess it's just what my mind conceives as a threat.
2. living with the pain is doable, but only by leeching off of others. Anything other than that I can't cope with and isn't worth it (hence why I'm wanting to die, I'm sick of leeching)
3. distancing myself from everyone and escaping into the internet has been my escape for years and has helped me deal with living, but has worsened my life and doesn't help me get better.
4. This is how I've been surviving and getting the luxuries I've wanted for the last year or so. I estimate I've had approximately £4000 given to me by lies or manipulation in the last year, and even more if you include non paid rent.

Idk if you're the same user that mentioned you felt the same way before but if so then I understand. I feel the exact same way, if I never speak to you again then I hope you either find some miracle happiness and live a happy life, or have a peaceful death knowing that you did what you wanted until the very end.

wow, ur fucked dude

1. I meant give yourself up, like service to others. Lose all thought of yourself.
2. I mean forget about the pain, focus on something else. Lose all thought of yourself.
3. I mean find distance by doing what you want to do, you don't want to escape into the internet so you are just seeking more pain. Focus on what you are doing, that is something that you want to do (not want like I feel like it but because it is something you find worthwhile). Lose all thought of yourself.

>Yes, I've been trying to get people to see that I truly want this, and that they shouldn't be sad about it and should accept that this is what I want, it's sad that no matter how much I try they always say that things will get better.

idgaf about you, I just want all the other faggots in this thread that think they know everything or are arbitrarily trying to enforce their will onto another because some fuck taught them it's the right thing to do to take a good hard look at what they're doing and not just do it because they were taught to.

... and the list goes on

Ik you don't give a fuck about me, that's great, that's what I want. And you're completely right. I guess I kind of vented my own personal shit into my reply because it's all i've been hearing recently, both in this thread and outside of it.

Ik i'm fucked lmfao, why do you think I made this thread?

Also OP i would but i dont have a phone got hit by a fork lift and it broke it, side note I got fired while that dick head gets to stay, and never got a pc while i was making money now im in a program that has me held up in a church ,free but REALLY shitty, luckily theres wifi but its shit im on a old ps4. Sorry man but im in a pretty bad place no food but i have 53$ lucky me huh? Gonna get a shit ton of ramen going for an interview next week so i can clean houses for 8$ an hr. Hoping i can pull another job but i'll take it atm.

I'm a doctor. Take like 5 MG xnax or some ambian, a nice cold full bathtub and just slit your wrists a lil bit, enough to get the blood flowing. Put on some nice music and fall asleep.

write down that discord tag and my email is [email protected]. Probably shouldn't post that on Sup Forums but who gives a fuck lol. I'd be interested to talk to you at some point, and i'll stay an unbiased person to talk to should you ever go through with that plan. Assuming I haven't done it first

Helium is the most painless. Just get like 5 balloons an a trash bag. Use a rubber band to make a comfy gasket around your neck and giggle at the funny sound your voice makes.

not sure why you made the thread.. nobody will every be able to help someone else, it needs to come from within. If you truly wanted to die you could do it in a heartbeat but you made a thread instead.

do you understand that to be an effective person (which is necessary for happiness), you will have to actually think about what you want and how you will achieve it and most importantly you must actually do it? From my perspective you must actually be doing what you want and it must actually be bringing you happiness (otherwise why else would you be doing it?).

Thank you, both of those are gonna require me to get the supplies so I've taken note. I appreciate it.

if your serious about killing yourself and you're adamant on not going to a therapist, the quickest way to go would be hanging yourself. it's quick and you won't feel a damn thing except a little twinge of pain. I wish you a great fucking afterlife my dude, have a nice sleep.

Just a thought op, but if I was trying to kill myself I wouldn't pick options that are likely to fail (like drugs) or likely to leave me a vegetable (like hanging), or will not kill me instantly (like jumping from a building). That shit is probably worse than death.

I spent an hour googling different methods of suicide. I'm a coward so jumping off of something isn't possible for me (i've tried).
I made the thread because the Sup Forums I knew would give me incredibly easy ways to do it and encourage me.
I also see the world from the same way, everything is done for personal gain. Empathy is just something we pretend to have, we know how we should feel about a situation and so we act accordingly. People only do things for their own gain, even if it's caring for a "loved one" it's only so you get to keep them in your life because they make you happier.
I made this thread because I'm too much of a coward to jump off a bridge, i dont have access to guns and i failed at an overdose attempt. If there was any place where people would tell me an easy way to kill myself, this would be it.

This is why I came here, because when I've tried those options, i panic, not because I'm scared of dying but because i'm scared of it not working and leaving me paralysed or as a veg

Just kill yourself already you fucking faggot. You nigger bitch.

Also please record yourself. I need some fap material.

Yeah i wrote it down OP if i can i definitely will ty OP its would be nice to talk to someone who sees things like me. Im not going to bullshit you though i may take to long if we dont get to speak in time i hope your at peace.

>If there was any place where people would tell me an easy way to kill myself, this would be it.
what happened to google? also look up how long you are likely to live after attempting these methods look up what actually happens physiologically when you attempt them, doesn't sound like fun. Also there is a global helium shortage so don't waste any on your exit (it won't work anyways because they mix it with air to conserve the helium)

>I also see the world from the same way, everything is done for personal gain.
have you ever tried to do something for someone elses personal gain? see number 1 on that list above. There are many ways to find meaning and happiness in life and killing yourself isn't one of them.

>what happened to google, I mean there's several sites that list pretty much all the ways out. What were you expecting to find here other than encouragement. Is it about encouragement? If you don't want to work to help others why would you kill yourself because they want you to.

>I'm a coward...not possible
then you don't actually want to kill yourself. It's easy to do the things you want to do you have just convinced yourself that you want to do something that you don't.

I've considered that as well, which is why I've spent the last 9 months in limbo. Is there anything wrong with me or have I just convinced myself there is? Am i just a manipulative cunt that uses other people to stay alive and i don't want to die? idk
all i do know is that when i tried to overdose last week i did genuinely think i'd done it, and just before i fell asleep I thought i wasn't going to wake up, and that feeling was like nothing i've ever felt before. True peace. And then i woke up and my life has been even worse since.

I might be convincing myself this is what I want and I actually don't, I might genuinely want this but I'm too scared to do anything about it. Idk anymore, idk wtf is real.
That helium method was actually the one i just started thinking about and it sounded really appealing, would more balloons work? so i breathe in the oxygen mixed with the helium so i'm left with just helium and co2?

I'm gonna check out the helium suffocation thing, it's 5 am here atm so I can't but I'll try getting the money to buy everything I need and try it, if I do then sure I guess I'll find some way to stream it and link it here.

>idk wtf is real.
real is a construct of your mind, you decide what is 'real' it is truly up to you and you can be a nutcase if you want to and it makes you happy. What I'm trying to get across is do what you want to but actually do it.

>I'm gonna check out the helium suffocation thing
>That helium method was actually the one i just started thinking about and it sounded really appealing, would more balloons work? so i breathe in the oxygen mixed with the helium so i'm left with just helium and co2?

Just google helium shortage.. There is no pure helium available for balloons anymore. You could breathe the oxygen but you would think you're suffocating because of the CO2 and it would be harder to go through with than just putting a plastic bag over your head.

I know no one will care or believe,but the bible is the answer. I was just like you and all the other bitter people here.Remember I was the one who said I love you and I'll miss you.Christians are not what you should judge nor the church.Judge the bible.Judge it's wisdom then you will know if it's worth it to live.If you haven't tried it that's my final thought.God bless you.

>you're a faggot for valuing human life

you are a faggot for thinking you know better than someone else what they want and what they should do.

Lord I pray in your holy name lead these sheep who are lost back to you let no evil obfuscate the truth from them I was lost I was never led to god.I was like these people believing evidence was nowhere to be found,but how wrong I was.You cannot find him in this place of his creation unless you submit to his will.He is in heaven and he loves you I would not lie Amen.Goodnight I love you all.

I was just like you not so long ago depressed and unbelieving.