Be me

>be me
>25, male, white, 6'1", 145lbs(working on that), no gf
>in third quarter of community college
>have fucked at least 15 girls
>smoke weed all day, can't drink
>have 2 DUIs
>no job because of them
>on probation until 2022
>tons of bills but don't have to pay any because grandparents

Now the bad part...

>yesterday
>getting house ready for family birthday party here
>doing chores like a good boy
>ask gma for gas money
>"I'm not interested in giving you gas money right now. You dont help out enough around here!"
>wut the fuck.jpg
>"tell me what to do and I'll do it"
>"no user. Do you know how yo say, 'what can I help out with?'"
>uhhhhhh.gif
>"yes, gma. Yes I do. But I dont think that's fair."
>"user, when you move out I'm turning your room into a yoga room. Or put the whole place up for sale."
>she then leaves to take pupper to training classes

Mfw I just got yelled at
Mfw I'm fucked
Mfw I need to figure out how to pay all my bills

Car insurance($250/m), ignition interlock(because DUI, $120/m), phone($100/m), gas($150/m), food(idk $100/m), rent(roughly $400-$600/m) and then be able to pay $2,000 every three months for college.

What do I do /b?

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Look for labour jobs that pay cash under the table. Plenty of them out there.

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I failed this twice....

And now that that's over I think I want to live life.

Can't do hard labor.... have scoliosis

What else are you good at other than being a waste of space

Do you have any friends? Room with them in a shitty house somewhere so rent and utilities are cheap as hell

Maintain relationship with gma, go over there often and blast synthwave for a couple hours and clean her house and shit for continued cash flow

Get on a cell phone family plan, or get TMobile, they’ve gotten a lot better

Stop smoking weed. Shit is expensive over time and makes you lazy. I’m not against it but save it for the weekend

Get loans for school, best thing I’ve ever done. Now in grad school and I get thousands of dollars of spending money every semester

Find a place that will hire felons/someone with a record as shitty as yours, keep your head down, respect your grandparents and turn this pile of shit you call a life into something worth talking about

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Fuck.... idk... I guess I could go back to being an electrician. But I smoke weed and that can't happen for at least 2 months. I need a solution sooner than that

We already have a cleaning lady, but I could try an convince them to pay me instead

Already on family plan for phone

I should save it for weekends. But it's stupid cheap for me. I get it for $5 a gram. I'm a medical patient and live in WA

I can't get loans otherwise I would. My credit isn't great. 520 I think. And loans would be worth it. I'm going into computer field. Software engineer.

I'm working on it user.. I do respect my grandparents. Beyond most people because of the shit they go through for me. When I'm able to I will repay them. But for now I help out

complete failure in life
dui's
too incompetent to work
>gonna be a software engineer
kek

It's not impossible retard

OP here. I'm gonna add that only one of the DUIs is on my record. The other one was reduced to reckless driving

Dude, youre a waste of a human being. Just fucking kill yourself and save everyone else the time and money of your existence

No one cares you useless bag of flaccid dicks

Stick with it, stay in IT and just work in an office or at a factory or something. My brother got a basic 4 year in computer science and now he makes $72k a year the little bastard, makes me regret going to law school lol

There’s no fuckin way being on a fam plan costs you $100 a month

Federal student aid loans. You gotta be claiming yourself on taxes for at least 2 years I think, they know students have bad credit. They’ll cover tuition and give you a small chunk of change but it’ll help

NIGGER

I have FAFSA money, but that's not enough. And once I get a job I'll receive even less money. What I should do is sell the car and move close to campus.

The only problem is, in order to get my regular licence back i need to have the ignition interlock for 3 years. So if i stop that now i only prolong them inevitable.

You seem to have a good head. Advice appreciated

if you can program something other then console I/O right now and you're actually into programming then yeah it's possible.
If not, switch major to something else before you add "in debt $30,000" after dui.
You're too far left on the bell curve buddy.

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Uhh... did you not read the white part??

Left on the bellcurve?? I'm not understanding.

And no I can't code right now. I'm learning thoough!

The IQ bell curve.
Also you don't need a degree to be a software engineer. You just need a portfolio.
Unless you have project contributions or actively in love with programming. You're going to flake. It's not like you just go to school and then make $100,000/year.

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No prob. That degree is everything user, make sure you get it. It balances out the DUI thing. They see you turned your life around and finished something many people can’t. Move closer to campus but dont sell the car. Can you turn off insurance for it and not drive it but retain ownership of the car to satisfy the keylock requirement thing?

stop smoking weed
>flip cars on Craigslist
>gay casual encounters on cl?
>go to thrift stores in your area and find "gems" then sell on eBay
>apply to be a testee and test drugs for pharmaceutical companies
>sell hair
>sell kidneys
>

Oh trust me. I'm not expecting to just go to school and make money. I know it takes a lot to be successful in this field. I have a deep love for computers and a passion to learn how to code. I know it's the future and can do it if I stick with it.

Unfortunately user. The car needs to be insured and in driving condition in order to keep the interlock. So its car or no car at this point.

Use your white privilege faggot

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I might be able to flip cars if I had initial money to start with. I have tried to donate plasma but I can't because I'm taking two medications for the same thing.

This is gonna sound retarded and slightly weeb. How the fuck do I use my white privilege.

>drop out
>phone
Get your life in order before you resume your luxuries

I can't drop out user. It's the only good thing going for me. And its helping me turn my life around. Having even a little college goes a long way in the employment world

Maybe you can get paid for coming up with shit excuses

Well shit user... can you be any more edgy?

vlog in YouTube
seriously do something on YouTube anything g that your interested in or anything that people might latch on to that's big in your life. you'd be surprised at how much money those people make f they upload regularly

damn autocorrect

Sounds like you're right where you deserve to be. Better luck next time!

That has got to be the worst idea I have ever heard of. YouTube success doesn't happen overnight... are you delusional?

That's not even edgy, that's how the world works. No one gives a shit if you have "no money"
You think an employer is going to give you a chance if you can't drive yourself to work.

How is that edgy? You put down everything people suggest the only thing you refuse to put down is the weed.
Why dont you charge girls for sex since you are so good at it?(why the fuck was it in the intro?)

I should put the weed down. Or at least keep it to the weekends. And the sex part was to give you faggots a sense of the type of person I am. As in not a virgin neckbeard that's awkward af

Also, I'm not putting everything down that anons suggest. There are just some things I cannot do

who said anything about overnight fag?
this loser is desperate and vloging can be done with a cell phone for free

Your phone is 100 a month ? I pay 25 woth simple mobile by t mobile with 3 gigs. Used it in nc colorado tex and cali. You piss ant fuck

Lmao I love how the 15 girls was added as a defense measure. You're a complete fuck up in every aspect of your life but hey you got laid haha

Okay, have you tried just lying about the medications for selling plasma? Seriously give it a shot

They test the blood every time the draw it unfortunately. They are very strict. Even for places that take homeless people

It was a defence measure. So what? I didn't want to seem like a complete waste of space. At least I have social skills, like you most likely dont have

Use your social skills to get friends to let you live with them for a little. Get a job at a call center

Jesus that gross

Have you worked at a call center before?

yeah your right

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It beats starving to death out in the cold!

Nope, but i've known little old ladies and obese guys that have. Why do you ask?

It was a legit question... have you worked in one before? I haven't so I have no idea what it's like. Also, I would take a call center job happily.

SKAG GRANDMAAA

Fucking brit fags

handjobs.

lots and lots of handjobs

id start with gma's thick luscious manroot, jack her to completion and take the facial

or you could simply kill her unless you're a complete vagina

If you have such great social skills, why are you such a fuck up that your own grandmother wants to kick you out? Face it: you're a goddamn sponge. I'd kick your ass out of you were my grandson too.

Sucking sounds intensify

It depends on what type it is,
cold call is the worst
sales is 2nd worst
customer support is bearable
also you need to pass a piss test to work at big call centers.

The fuck is wrong with you? Grannies are gross

Fuck... I need to pass a pass seat everywhere.

Piss test

I can't even get a fucking job as a parts counter person at a dealership

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like you wouldn't fuck her lol lol

Just Baby Boomers being Baby Boomers, living in their narcissistic, delusional Boomer world. I interact with these people on a daily basis. They grew up in such a different reality that they are completely incapable for the most part of understanding the hand of cards young people have been dealt with. The Boomers ran up every line of credit, both on an individual and national basis, flooded the country with immigrants destroying the job market because they didn't want to wash their kids' underwear and need a huge labor force to support them while they spend thirty years in retirement - working class Boomers were literally able to open up a mortgage on a house straight out of high school. They will tell you unironically "just hit the pavement and get a job" because that's the reality they grew up in. What they perceive as apathy on young people's part is simply a reflection of having grown up in a smoking, firebombed shell of a country, and they're such narcissistic cunts that they would throw their own blood out on the streets because they want a personal yoga studio.

I know it's not copypasta or bait, because this is what I see on a daily basis. Not to forget, they're also the generation that normalized divorce, drugs, and speaking of DUIs, they were the ones that partied it up when they were kids, and then as parents formed organizations like Mothers Against Drunk Driving, ruining it for young people, destroying their social lives, fucking up their employment prospects. All these Boomer mommies who campaigned for the hardcore DUI laws in the 90s are all guilty of having driven drunk, but different rules for me than thee of course. They were total degenerates as children but became these preaching, dictatorial moralfags as parents. Hypocrites, narcissists, country wreckers, Boomers will be hated for all eternity if humanity actually survives another few centuries.

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Tell yer gamma that yew would have sex with her for money

Jesus Christ kid get the fuck out of the basement

Gee you fucking idiot, maybe you should have focused on being an independent man instead of being a NEET you huge fucking retard. I guess that really backfired on you, huh?

Dumbass.

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Not to mention that the boomers children are taking care of their grandchildren now... as in the 40yo now is taking care of the 10yo that their kid made. And this is because of the 40yos parents

Uhh.. I'm not a NEET. I'm actively being educated. Your argument is invalid

OP here. Do you seriously believe this? If so, you need to remove yourself from your tinfoil hat

I love triggering you Boomer fucks. Stick a gun in your mouth and pull the trigger. Your entire cohort is the shit smear of humanity.

You have this delusional smugness and self-awareness as a generation, and I see it all the time in business, the Boomer backslapping. It's like the toddler who crapped himself with the little self-satisfied smirk on his face. You all have this visceral sense that you ruined the world, and are proud that you'll die off right before the full effects of your generation come to bloom.

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Kek

Daaaaamn user!

Preach

Was Waa you ruined the world for me, I am a coddled little pansy ass that thinks the world owes me something. Waa Waa i'm entitled to everything Give me, take me, buy me, I need to be tethered to my cell phone at all times day and night, I don't need to work for what I need, you hsve to give it to me. Waa Waa you old people had everything, pensions, good cradle to grave jobs we have nothing. Waa Waa I hate you old people.
Hey fuck stick, I busted my ass my working two fucking jobs to support my family pay off my mortgage and send my three kids to college. I served my country in an unpopular war, but I did my duty. Nobody gave me anything. Get the fuck off your electronic device quit looking for a handout, and someone else to blame because your a lazy, pseudo intellegent poor excuse for a man. You are entitled to nothing

Oh, what are you in school for? Basket weaving? Women's studies? Just get a job for fucking loser!

Read above you stupid fuck. I'm in my third quarter. So naturally I'm doing core classes atm. But ultimately I'm striving to be a software engineer

Yes user finally somebody hits the nail on the head, Well done

How come you're 25 and you're not done school?

You must have been a NEET for at least 2 or 3 years; now you're paying the price for it you goddamn idiot.

wow i hope she fucking throws you out on the street, maybe you should have tried to get a real job skill

F

Sound like me. Get to a real university so FAFSA can help you out if you don't have anybody "paying for you." Many jobs will accept felons if you're generally a good person

This is true... I was a NEET for 3 years. I regret it.

DUI is NOT a felon

Maybe you should put school on hold and get a real job? You know, like what a responsible adult person does? Also you are a huge fucking retard for getting 2 DUI's. Try to get a job you can walk to, okay kiddo? Subway and MacDonalds are hiring.

Um....grow up. Start by fixing your psych issues. Addiction is a symptom of a bigger problem

Wat?

I'm not addicted to anything? Wtf are you on about user.

was meant for this self entitled asshole

Perfect then. My friends are felons and make a good living. You can too. Take full time classes and work. If you have no kids then you're good to go

Kek

...

I have it too but I worked construction and shit jobs to pay the bills. Stop being a pussy fucking snowflake and man up and go work

Whore yourself out on Manyvids or Chaturbate. Gay guys will often get off watching straight dudes jerk off and do degrading shit

Yesss

So true

I have thought about it. But I dont want someone to recognize me in public