Guys I am trying to get cancer as soon as possible. This is how I want to go...

Guys I am trying to get cancer as soon as possible. This is how I want to go. Can anyone help me figure out ways to speed up the process? Thanks

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Get like 10 wifi repeaters and put them right near your bed when you sleep

just start smoking your dick off while outside in the sun with no shirt and short shorts all day the skin cancer might be faster.

Get up to date on your vaccines and drink lots of tapwater

sit still as much as possible, in the sun

smoke a pack a day at least

drink a few beers a day

eat only deep fried red meat and the shittiest processed food you can find

drink unfiltered hose water

go get xrays done

put magnets in your microwave or something, take in radiation somehow idk

drink battery fluid

smoke a shit ton of weed/do drugs that affect your bloodstream immediately

take painkillers and drink at the same time

never drink water, only juice from concentrate, like those flavored jugg koolaid things for kids

eat frozen microwaveable chicken a lot

>put magnets in your microwave or something, take in radiation somehow idk

You don't know shit about radiation so shut up about it kid.

Drink lots of fluoride, chlorine and bromine. They will push the natural halogens (nascent iodine) out of your body and you will be much more susceptible to illness

They're are carcinogenic products all around us. 40% or more of the people reading this will die of cancer. It could be higher than that even, considering the ever increasing use of plastics, carcinogenic chemicals, and processed foods.

Avoid any food that expires. No fresh food. If it's meat, get it from the frozen food section. Preferably breaded. Check for long ingredients list.

Drink small amounts of stuff like WD-40. Not enough to poison, just enough to increase the level of free radicals in your body. Harsh solvents can be very nasty. Look around in the hardware store

Depriving your body of nutrition whole exposing yourself to carcinogenic stuff is the two prong attack to get cancer. Avoid sleep, start drinking coffee at night

>getting cancer asap
>You're on Sup Forums faggot

He said cancer not amphibian homosexuality

Work on a drilling rig youll get 25$ an hr starting and i work with invert drilling oil and direct exposure with it will cause cancer

cover yourself in soot and asbestos while smoking near a factory

Replace all fluids with hot tea. Once diagnosed with Esophageal cancer swallow some small glass shards or cut the tumors. if you get lucky it could metastasize. Just buy a KSG or something. Cancer will take years.

Use microwaved old diapers

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Forgot to mention he died from cancer ofc

If only he had stated that he doesn't know...

stick around long enough and you'll see someone post a meme with the iFunny watermark. That shit just gave me stage 7 brain cancer.

Lead'n'xray

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kill yourself nigger I'm older than you bitch
when did I say I was a doctor in radiation fucking faggot get off my board

There are 100% carinogens. Just look it up in google scholar. One was used in PVC piping when it was new and killed all the plumbers who used it. Can't remember it's name and too lazy to look up. But after you get cancer you still take 1-5 years to die, so it's a really dumb idea

Get a steak put it on a plate. Cook it to rare(or just get a cooked steak)(anytype). Now put water on the plate. Put a bunch of water on it. Make sure the plate has been filled with water. Don't spill it. Put it in the microwave adjust the time to whatever you wish. When you start to here crackles your dinner is ready.

balls in microwave

I think it was the primer that killed them. Not the pvc pipes themselves.

But it really depends. What cancer do you want op.

any and all, honestly.