>Be masturbating to family photos of my mom from when she was in middle school
>Mommy comes in and sees
>Asks me to stop
>Stand up, still masturbating (Slowly, dont want to cum yet, but dont wanna have to start over)
>Explain that incest was just invented by normies to make it harder for robots to get laid, and that only a fucking freak wouldn't be attracted to viable pussy when available
>She sighs and leaves, her eyes tearing up
>finally able to finish up, want some spaghetti
>Go downstairs and see mommy in kitchen
>Cooking roast chicken
>Screech at her and ask why she didn't make spaghetti
>Her answer is the final straw
>"What? You didn't ask for spaghetti."
>Lunge at her and punch the shit out of her
>She's out cold
>Shit on her whore face when she's down
>As she lays there, her pants ride up quite a lot
>See her ass clearly through her pants
>Mutter "Only a freak wouldn't be attracted to viable... viable pussy..."
>Don't want to lose virginity yet (saving for my highschool friend who I haven't spoken to in 17 years, still holding out hope we'll meet again and she'll have stayed pure for me too)
>Jerk off onto her ass instead, then write a note on the white wall of the kitchen in my own shit
>"Spaghetti. One hour. Or next time, I'll do it worse, then kill myself and blame you in the suicide note."
Be masturbating to family photos of my mom from when she was in middle school
Other urls found in this thread:
forkdelta.github.io
twitter.com
Idk if op is lying but i hope not cos this i funny af
>harder for robots
Fuck out of here op, you're on the wrong board
Pewdiepie ruined this site.
Not yet user, not just yet we still have a chance to recover from all these normies coming in, but idk how
gotta ruin it harder than they do for a while
>Be hanging out with my daki-pillow (Mikiru is best waifu)
>Mommy comes in and asks me if I want to go to Friendlys for a platter of tendies and some icy creamy
>Clap excitedly and rush to the car with Mikiru
>Sit in backseat with her, mommy gets to car and starts driving us to Friendlys
>Mikiru gets frisky and starts eyeing up my crotch
>Decide to give her a show
>Pull out my cock and start tugging it around
>Mikiru looks at it hungrily, cum on her face in a matter of seconds and scream
>Hear mommy sigh from front seat and mutter that she made a mistake
>Tell her it's okay,I love mommy and I can get her her OWN Daki
>She sighs, obviously with relief
>We get to friendlys, get out with mikiru and we order three plates of tendies and frenchies, thinking about what kind of Icy Creamy I'll get
>Mommy orders a glass water and some toast
>Asks for three slices instead of two
>Warn her not to go over board or new Chad Daddy might not like her flab flab
>Shes so grateful for my advice that her eyes start to water
>Me and Mikiru finish our tendies and mommy makes a comment about me not throwing stones
>She KNOWS I'm sensitive about my beautiful curves
>I control myself, but Mikiru is in love with me
>She lunges forward and attacks mommy for disrespecting her hubby
>Waitress comes over and grabs me
>Why grab me? Mikiru is the one hurting mommy!
>Realize... the waitress is in love with me too
>Lunge forward and start making out with her, Mikiru stops attacking mommy for some reason
>Waitress pushes me away, I knew I should have stuck with Mikiru
>Shit pants and start crying
>everyone in restaurant staring at us
>Manager man comes and says we have to leave
>Never got my icy creamy
>REEEEEEEEEEEE
>Go home with mommy, she's apologizing for ruining my night out
>Tell her that after TONIGHT, only a threeway with mikiru will make up for what she did
>Mommy starts sobbing tears of joy knowing that she can do something to make me forgive her
>mfw
Get pewd permanently banned from YouTube
Ikr, fucking retarded Swedish cuck. Exposing greentext to his retarded pajit fanbase. Who literally left comments like this.
Did someone say poodiepie?
His coin is trading on forkdelta for $0.0000015 a piece.
Soon I will rich.
Don't worry op, bitch will learn her place soon
These stories are hot as shit, haven't had one in a while
Please post more
Okay now it sound like someone is not paying any attention to their retarded child and some how they endded up on Sup Forums, Wtf
>no tendies
not even trying
>4 am, right in the middle of my 5 nights at freddy's session
>suddenly my pee pee feels funny and tickles from the inside
>"MOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOMMMMMMYYYYYYY"
>she doesn't respond, she's been eating a lot of sleep-candies since when second daddy left (she promised she'll share with me soon enough yay! )
>i'm forced to waddle out of my 80 GBP gaming chair and go in her room while screaming "PEEEEEE PPEEEEEEEEEEEE FIZZY MUMMY HELP BABYYY GUU"
>the stress of this causes my belly to relax and I let out a steaming brown tendy-log in my XXL diapey - i'm mummys big baby boy, she always says that :)
>i plop down in her bed while she looks at me in horror and disgust
>"mummy my pee pee feels tickly, need pee pee funny dance"
> tears are falling on her cheeks, she closes her eyes and starts taking my diaper off
>the smell of fresh tendy-log and 2 days old diarrhea smeared on my hairy asscheeks makes her gag
> i let out a teehee while saying "mummy belly burp!"
>then, while sobbing, she grabs my pee pee stick and starts going up and down
>my smegma crusted foreskin hardly retreats while tear drops fall on my belly
>i let out my funny-happy milk on her hand "OOHUUHHHHHHU PEE PEE IS GLAD, I MADE IT FOR MUMMYY"
> "you're my special little baby boy, thank you for your gift to mommy" says her, while becoming red in face from happiness
>mummy grabs orange bottle from nightstand and rewards herself extra-helping of sleep candies, hehee she deserves it!
> i leave her room and the diaper on her bed and go back to my gaming session
> the next day she's still tired and sleeping on her bed
i wonder when she'll wake up, maybe she's preparing a surprise for babby boy gu? so many tendies and GBP await me for not waking her up!!
Are you actually retarded?
Retard 2, coming in hot
No i just like to imagine the shit here is real to make it more funny but after reading the last to green text idk what to think any more i know they are fake but someone actually took time out of their day to make this shit like wtf
>Wake up at 4pm
>Hear talking downstairs
>Start yelling I NEED MY BIG BOY SLEEP
>Waddle over to the door, knock poo-poo jar over
>*whoops, guess mommy has some work to do* I knock over another just for good measure.
>Waddle down the stairs to living room. Mommy is talking to a lady in a business suit about "coverage"
>I NEED MY BIGBOY SLEEP
>Mommy looks in my direction and apologizes to the lady.
>Notice that lady has really pretty hair
>Mommy tells me to go upstairs
>Lady has really really pretty hair
>My pee-pee goes hardy-wardy
>The diaper pops off from the force of my pee-pee, leaving me naked except for my Fluttershy t-shirt
>"Mommy is this the girlie-friendie I asked for?"
>I can't believe that fucking bitch finally did something right.
>Mommy looks really emberassed and tells me to go upstairs. The lady is really scared.
>Start waddling over to the lady.
>She recoils back in horror.
>Keep waddling over.
>I slip on the diaper around my ankles and fall to the ground.
>I do a big poo poo and begin crying on the ground, but my pee-pee is still hardy-wardy at my new girlie-friendie, so I keep crawling towards her
>The lady turns around and runs out the door
>Mommy has tears in her eyes, tries to lift me off the ground
>"Mommy, was she my girlie-friendie you got me?"
>She brushes the tears off her face and nods
>"Yes dear, s-she's just embarrassed. She's never seen a boy as handsome as you before!" She says as she wipes away another tear.
>I smile, proud of how handsome I am
>Mommy tells me that maybe if I earn enough good boy points, she will get me another girlie
>She pulls me up the stairs and starts cleaning the floor
>Uh-oh, my pee-pee is still hard
>I get out of my bed and walk up behind mommy
>Tell her she can be my girlie-friendie too
>She looks kind of disgusted for some reason, says mommy can't do that
>I start yelling REEEEEEEE as I rip off my diapers and shove my pee-pee at her face
>She sucks my weenie-peenie to make me stop yelling
Good day today.
>>I start yelling REEEEEEEE as I rip off my diapers and shove my pee-pee at her face
>>She sucks my weenie-peenie to make me stop yelling
Idk why im still reading wtf
>Mommy is talking to a lady in a business suit about "coverage"
That was probably for you, idiot. Good going.
Hot
>Be Mommy's handsome prince and her only baby
>Asshole dad is always grumbling about my glorious NEET lifestyle
>Washed up wagecuck Chad, always bitching about being a FORMER marine and how his "brothers" have sons who have disgusting 3dpd slags and degrees and what the duck ever
>Asshole dad blows his dumb jock brains out
>I am next in the line of succession
>Scream for mommy to kick out all these stupid fucking mourners, it's time for my monthly washy washy
>Bitch comes up to my room, sniveling and crying, confused.
>"B-baby boy, I'm glad that you're being so good and taking your washy washy without a fight."
>Dumb whore does the scrubbies, I wince through as she lathers up my glorious big bones. I'm growing so big and so strong
>Stronger than her
>Time to consummate my new throne and make mommy my happy queen
>Grab her arm and throw her down
>She didn't know how strong her baby boy was but I can tell she's impressed
>Pull out my peep and she screams that she hasn't washed under my glorious uncut foreskin
>Too late. I'm almost halfway into her belly button in a flash. Feels right
>Finish my kingly duties in an impressive minute as mommy cries, presumably that stupid dead chad dad took so long to off himself
>"H-honey, let me finish cleaning you u-up..."
>GET THE FUCK OUT MOMMY WASHY WASHY IS OVER
>Dumb whore leaves, glazed in my kingly cream. I go back to glorious NEET life. She brings me tendies, as I am the new king.
AND RETARD #3 WALKS UP TO THE STAGE
kek
Seriously? How new are you guys?
>5AM
>bitch of a mother is being loud as hell
>why can't she leave me in peace doesn't she know 3-6AM are fappy and nappy time
>I hear a loud thump
>reeeeeeee this bitch she can't do anything right
>I reeee at her until she just says 'sorry hun-huns'
>that's it, I can't stand this bitch anymore
>I yell back at her
>'I don't want a sorry i demand 50 good boy points and i will kill the hamster if you don't do it'
>fag op mom better deliver
>All this yelling has really been strengthing my peepee
>I decide I will man up i am a man now and I will follow through
>I grab the hamster which mommy gave to me something about turning 30 and being a big boy and learning responsibility
>she doesn't understand i am still a growing boy
>look at hamster
>the hamster has a large poopyhole
>le big idea.jpeg
>I say to hamster odds fap evens sleep
>I slide my hard peepee all the way into the hamsters asshole, casuing it to instantly spray blood averywhere from being torn open
>I guess two and 5/8 inches is too much for anyone to handle
>Oh man this is almost as good as tendies
>start to edge so I pull out
>hard peepee drenched in blood and tiny entrails
>Suddenly my door opens
>I forget to reee and instead my peepee shoots googoo all over mommy's nice work clothing
>'mommy you bitch get back in the kitchen i need tendies'
>I see her just fall on her knees and start crying
>I reeeee as loud as I can until she gets back up and runs away from my room
>Great now I have to scoop the peepee googoo'd into my peepee poopoo googoo jar
>why do i still let her live in this house
>be me 16
>bored
>make fake tinder account
>look up generic girl
>choose the first pic
>within an hour I have 24 matches and 20 messages
>one message is from lonely sad boy
>string the retard along for months
>finally says “user I love you”
>tell truth
>kills himself
>mfw I took the catfish too far
Could this be? The mythical retard 4?
>wake up at 3pm
>fill piss bottle
>waddle out to check GBP board
>finally reached 100 for not shitting in the car yesterday
>REEEEEEEEE in excited delight so loud and high the window cracks
>too out of breath to walk
>roll into kitchen where mummy is doing the budget
"MUMMY MUMMY NOW IS FUN DAY TIME FOR TENDIE SPECIAL SUNDAE"
>mummy slowly looks up, her eyes wide and quivering
"b-but I-I have to work today and that takes four hours to make..."
>heave myself upright, all 450 pounds
>face is bright red and sweating bullets from exertion and fury
"NOW I SPEND MY GBP, SO MAKE TENDIES TO PLEASE ME"
"I c-can't... we don't have any..."
>what the fuck did you just fucking say to me you little bitch
>begin quaking with apoplectic rage, jiggling like a triple decker jello mold
>throw mummy to the ground and start tearing off her only dress
"YOU FORGET TO BUY THE MEAT, SO NOW IT'S YOU WHO MUST EAT! I AM NO LONGER BENDY, SO NOW YOU SUCK MY TENDIE!"
>shove my cock in mummy's mouth
>haven't washed in months of course
"TOASTIE ROASTIE! DUMMY MUMMY!"
>mummy pulls away gagging and sobbing
>it's ok, five seconds was long enough
"SPRAYO MAYYYOOOOOOOO"
>blast all over mummy, grunting and moaning like a semi passing on the highway
>inexplicably have huge volume despite jacking it eight times a day
>make sure to get it everywhere
>point and laugh
"CUMMY TUMMY! CUMMY TUMMY!"
>laboriously turn around and shift backwards
"STUPID BITCH COLD LIKE ICE! NOW MIXED WITH CREAM THAT'S NICE! REMEMBER I'M THE BOSS! NOW ADD THE CHOCOLATE SAUCE!"
>spray diarrhea all over mummy for solid minute
"ROASTIES MAKE ME WARY, CUZ THEY LACK A CHERRY! NOW SUNDAE IS COMPLETE! ONE IN CHARGE IS THE NEET!"
>wheeze and collapse from exhaustion, falling on top of mummy and trapping her underneath layers of fat
>takes three hours until strong enough to roll back to couch
>piss myself five times
>grind trail of filth into carpet while rolling
>mummy gets hose and mop, starts cleaning me up
"w-who's my b-big boy..."
Tendies, tendies on my plate
Never early, never late
At twelve o'clock its lunchie time
And mommy serves them on a dime
Mommy cooks them in the oven
To show me extra special lovin
Add honey mustard sauce to this
To send me into tendie bliss
Good Boy Points are thus required
To get the tendies I desire
And if I wish to go to Wendy's
I must turn in points to get my tendies
I turn in points that I've compiled
From huggies, kissies, and not running wild
"What a good boy you've been today
Let's go to Wendy's so that I may repay"
"But you've been eating way too much chicken
You're getting a burger, no screamin or kickin"
This makes me mad, this makes me bitter
This makes me unleash the contents of my shitter
I stuff it in her mouth and punch her in the head
Until I am sure my dear mommy is dead
I steal her purse so that I can have money
To buy tendies and mustard with honey
I purchase the tendies from the nice lady
(Although these tendies are nuggies, which I find quite lazy)
And as I devour my fried chicken treats
I realize that life has never been so sweet
>sitting in room
>finish plate of tendies mummy made just for me
>hmm, I want some more!
>decide to play a prank on mummy (might cost some gbp, but fun is fun)
>rig one of my pee pee bottles to pour on whoever opens my door
>position my wittle bottom towards the door as well and pull down my diaper
>bang my steel drum to get her attention (at 30 gbp I simply had to!)
>MUMMY MUMMY, I WAS HUNGRY, NOW I'M FULL SO RUB MY TUMMY!
>Hear mummy coming
>A grin grows across my face as she draws near, my eyes crinkle and a "teehee!" slips out
>Mummy enters the room
>my pee pee pours in a steady stream on her head
>At the same time I begin blasting her with my nasty poo poo, coating her in a thick baby waby green layer!
>heehee! messy mummy messy mummy I say rhymically as she is covered in my nasty
>She doesn't say a word as my prank plays out
>finish my poo, turn and sit bare bottomed on the floor, leaving a wittle poopy stain
>mummy, did you wike my joke? ga ga goo goo!
>I begin giggling and drooling while slapping my wittle feetsies together as applause
>She does say anything
>Mummy, waugh at my wittle joke!
>I can see tears running through my pee pee and poo poo on her face
>Mummy, you don't want to upset your perfect wittle boy do you?
>She is still fighting
>My eyes sharpen and I drop my voice do a gravely, gutteral tone
>Listen you normie cunt, laugh at your sons prank or I'll kill you and kill myself, I'll drag you into the bath and slit your wrists while I fuck your fat whore ass
>Punch her in the face for good measure, hard enough to leave a black eye
>Mummy sees reason and lets out a chuckle
>heehee! I think that deserves 20 gbp for being such a funny and creative prank, don't you mummy!?
>She does a sort of weird nod and walks out of my playpen
Good Boy Points is too easy to get, even when being a naughty boy! She even took me out for more tendies that day, at no cost!
Wtf
>Be McRib-obsessed NEET
>Ask mommy for a McRib
>She says "I'm sorry sweetie, but Micky D's doesn't have those anymore. I'll cook up some of your favourite tendies, okay?"
>She goes downstairs
>I don't want tendies and I know she's lying
internalscreaming.jpg
>Go downstairs with baseball bat in hand
>Swing at mommy's left thigh harder than any NEET has ever swung
>She falls to the floor like she just got an injection of nerve gas
>"GIMME MY FUCKING MCRIB!!!"
>Run like Naruto back upstairs into my room while she's on the floor moaning in agony
onehourlater.jpg
>Mommy slowly limps upstairs to bring me my beloved McRib
mommylivesanotherday.jpg
>Take first bite
>Quicky realize it's just shitty store-bought bbq pork on a shitty store-bought bun
REEEEEEE.jpg
>That lying deceptive bitch must pay
>Tumble angrily downstairs
>Fall face first on the floor below
>Get up and turn to face mommy
>Vomit full force in her face
>Her stomach fills with vomit until she explodes
ifuckedup.jpg
>Come up with the brilliant idea of finding the McRib online
>Go back upstairs and google McRib
>Still covered in vomit while I'm typing
>Closest McD's that sells them is in St.Petersburg, Russia
>"Seriously? The birthplace of the shittiest political ideology ever? Fuck it. I'm going!"
>Steal mommy's wallet from downstairs
>Buy ticket for a flight to St. Petersburg with her credit card
>Try to get on the flight
>Flight attendant denies me 'cuz "muh passport"
>Vomit in her eyes, blinding her
>Get on the flight anyway
>The flight takes for fucking ever
>Finally get off the plane
>Take a taxi to the McD's
>Order McRib
>Try to pay with mommy's card
>Insufficient funds
>Order taker says in a heavy ass Russian accent "No worries comrad, I give to you for free."
>This is the best day of my life
russiananthem.mp3
>I finally have it
worthit.jpg
Baby wakes up in the morning hungry for his tendie meal
He starts shouting for his mummy, and so loudly it's unreal
"Wanna eat my chickie tendies, so please give them to me now,
And don't forget to bring the ranch, you fat, ungrateful cow"
Mummy comes in with a smile on her face
"Just a second hun", sounds like she knows her place
After just a minute comes my favorite food in bed
And I sit there eating chicken, happy baby has been fed
Mummy comes back later for my dirty dish and plate
And now I need more tendies to properly satiate
So I throw the plate at mummy and I tell her what I need
But I threw the plate so hard at her that she began to bleed
Mummy took my good boy points away
And she told me that I will be grounded for today
This is an injustice for the good boys everywhere
Time to release plan B inside of my underwear
I sit in my bed and then I have to concentrate
And release manifestation of my overwhelming hate
And when all is said and done,that is when I begin to bawl
Mummy comes back in, because she's at my beckon call
I watch her face when she smells the smell
"This is it dear mummy, this is my personal hell"
"Baby made a poo poo and needs mummy to change"
"Don't forget my good boy points, cuz I yelled out your name"
The morally of the story is that baby's always right
Gotta put mummy in place when she puts up a fight
She will try to ground you, but try as she might
When she messes with baby there is no end in sight
Cherry Coke Zero is such a joy
To go with chickie tendies for mummy's little boy
And in the morning we will do this all again
That's why daddy left us, because his is not our friend
bump
>My eyes open and see the blank computer screen
>Mommy must've cut the power to my room
>Joke's on her, over the course of 7 years I have accumulated approximately 13 million Good Boy Points, which should be enough to last me until death
>"TENDIES, TENDIES, IT IS TIME. MUMMY IS AN UNGRATEFUL SWINE," I wheeze with a devilish grin
>Rise up from my chair, a thick layer of grease and mold sticking to the back of my cumstained asscheeks
>Waddle over to the bedroom door, feet squishing through poop and pee
>Light shines in through the windows, realize that I haven't seen the sun in 19 years
>Oh well
>I hear Mommy crying in the other room, slowly move in that direction
>She's sitting at the kitchen table, tears and snot running down her face
>"FIRE DEEP WITHIN MY LOINS, MUMMY WILL PLEASE MY ACHING GROIN."
>The sobbing stops and she looks up
>I'm naked, my cock proudly standing at half mast, most of it weighed down by the various rolls of belly fat
>I slam her weak, anorexic body to the floor and tell her to start sucking
>She's trying to resist, lol
>Easily snap her jaw open
>Her blood makes for excellent lubricant
>"MUMMY SHALL LICK AND LICK, PROVE THY WORTHINESS OF YOUR BABY'S DICK."
>Her teeth begin to fall out, she doesn't need them anyway
>I cum and she makes gurgling noises, spasming and pointing to her throat
>I left her up by her hair, she's not even recognizable anymore
>"MUMMY IS A CHURLISH COW, TO THE FREEZER YOU GO NOW."
>She grabs a box of my favorite brand
>It's Kid Cuisine
>Good fun and good food go great together with Kid Cuisine!
Bump