My asswiping method

My asswiping method
>Fold 3 Pieces of TP
>Use left hand
>Wipe from back to front
>Clench sphincter while wiping

How does Sup Forums wipe their ass?

Attached: Asswipes For Jesus.gif (529x401, 120K)

I should have known Sup Forums doesn't wipe ass.

Makes sense.

>fold 2 pieces
>use right hand
>back to front
>relax sphincter to get the shit out of the small wrinkles
>wipe one last time with 1 piece of wet TP

Savages.

>TP in the bowl before shit, so no splash
>3 squares, folded into the space of 1
>Front to back
>2 squares to dry willie
>a civilised shit procedure

Push button on remote control. An arm extends to my butthole and starts blasting it with warm water. This goes on for a minute or so and then the arm retracts and a second arms extends and starts blowing warm air on my butthole for a couple minutes until it dries.

It's called a bidet.

Washlet, actually. A bidet is more manual.

Either way, it isn't a paragraph.

had this luxury while in japan.
LOVED IT. way better than bidets.

true, forgot to add
>>TP in the bowl before shit, so no splash
to

This nigga jealous as fuk

Everyone at 29 I finally mastered the potty, wet wipes plus toilet paper! I'm proud

>jealous
No. I don't want a wet asshole every time.
>impatient
Yes.

r pics of old nappies for nostalga

Op here forgot to add
>get 2 pieces fold into space for one
>repeat until paper shows clear.

Hope some of you guts are USA fags.
Your toilet sanitation is best. Hands
free soap and water, many toilets with no
doors. You are true masters of the
shitter.

>many toilets with no doors.
WHAAAAAT?
really?

Americans are constantly using public toilets to have discreet gay sex so their religious wives don't find out. It gets so bad lots of places remove the doors.

i honestly could NEVAR be relaxed enough to lay down a brick if i'd sit "in the open".
that's so wrong.

>not combining scrunch and roll methods

you take around 6 squares, scrunch the first 2-3 and then roll the rest around the ball.
100% cushion, 100% smooth, 200% toilet paper

eurofag detected probably norse

>Not doing the patrician method which is just showering after a good shit

Attached: images-21.jpg (240x180, 6K)

I am Norwegian.

This sounds distinctly Mediterranean.

Fold 4, then go again with 3 and finally 2, front to back with right hand. Having not gotten up from the toilet I proceed to put some soap on my left hand and get a jug of water with my fight and pour that shit down on my dick and use my soapy hand to direct some water to my ass and clean myself. Ive been doing this my whole life and it feels amazing to have a clean butt. Also I've never held a girl's hand.

I'm kiwi, this is just objectively the best way.