ITT: things people do at your job that drive you insane.
>>> be me
>>> be a valet driver
>>> customer comes out
>>> hello I’ll take the red Lamborghini in the back! Lololololol jk I’m the beat down 1892 Toyota Camry.
Fuck off your jokes sucked the first time I heard it.
>cashier
>scanning items
>amerifat costumer hands me their sweaty bills
>"they're good, just printed them this morning *chuckle*"
>mfw
I am not even joking when I say I hear this 50 times a day.
That’s as bad as when I worked at a headshop and every fucking retarded “lololol look how stoned I am” mother fucker who forgot his keys on the counter would come in and say
>> won’t get far without those! Guess I smoke a little too much”tobacco” this morning hahahaha!
I hate everyone
My ninja - When I used to work retail I'd get similar shit like that all the time...
>Customer swipes credit card
>"I hope this works I just found it this morning" uh-hyuck
But now that I don't work retail I do it to be an ass...
>Cashier: Did you find everything ok?
>Me: Yeah, no. Where do you keep the free shit?
My current job annoys the shit out of me because people use my duty title as a verb.
>Example: Can you come Firestone my car real fast? I think my tire is bad.
Another valet favorite of mine
>>> keep it in the back and I’ll take good care of you
>>>park car in back
>>>> customer comes out with a three dollar tip
>>> hold them up in the light in front of customer to make sure they’re real
>work at auto parts store
>spend a very fucking long time tracking down a shitty out of production part for an obscure car
>the only one is on the other side of the country
>give them the best price i possibly can
>"is there a cheaper one?"
>"there isn't? i'll keep looking"
>week later
>"yeah i need that thing, can you order it for me?"
>it's fucking gone man
>"but you said they had one."
>they did, a week ago
god, amerifats must be annoying to serve
The worst. All think they’ve got the funniest original joke ever, all day the same shit I’ve heard 100 times a day everyday since I got the job, all entitled bitches.
Working at U-Haul
(Every customer is Indian or asian)
>>Okie hello can I get 10 inch(it's foot but I gave up on correcting them) truck today?
>> Sorry were all booked up
>>Do you have a 15 inch one?
>>Sorry no trucks at all
>>How bout a van?
>>Okay sir no vehicles are available
>>Does that include the 20 inch truck?
>> Omg
Worked retail for a year and a half for minimum wage, here's my shits
>few people come in clearly high as shit and stinking up the entire store
>If you smoke weed (dude lmao xd) and don't think you smell like weed, you smell like weed
>people stealing shit that's so profoundly skillful you have to give them props
>stealing a CD player (It's 2018 hotshot, get an mp3)
>stealing shitty perfume
>one guy shoved nearly $100 worth of merch in his underwear, I didn't ask for it back but called the cops
>trying to get away with returning something you stole
>if inventory checks out to be more than what we have I'll decline it and tell them to find a more gullible store
>trying to get a cheaper price on an item when its package is slightly bludgeoned
>trying to get a cheaper price on something because "it's cheaper at this place" then go fucking shop there
>people who leave trash all over the store I had to pick up
>people who dropped trash directly beside one of the two garbage cans out front
>people who toss their cigarettes all over the place when the two cans out front have trays for that
>people who literally clean out their car and dump it beside the trash cans out front
>people who toss their packages/bags/receipts/etc on the ground and drive off
And the crown jewel of my time there
>morbidly obese woman waddles to bathroom
>waddles back out without buying anything
>dumps 4 bags of mcdonalds on the ground and drives off
>hour later get told to clean the women's room
i work retail.
>literally anytime a customer walks in
they're all just a bunch of ungrateful fucks who make me wanna kill myself
> sure
you're in the right line of wank..
..ooops?
"WORK!"
>work in a vape shop
>stupid hipster comes in
>''i'm looking for this juice, humm, it's called space doctor lightspeed yummy awesome juicy stuff'', do you have any?
>never heard of it, what does it taste like?
>''oh man I don't know, I guess something like vanilla custard with a hint of caramel''
>ok well I have this juice here that should do the trick
>''myeah, nah. thanks anyway''
two days later, same customer
>yea dude about that bottle, yeah finally I'll take it XDDD
fucking hipster trash
>>>>park a car
>>>> dashboard says “key not in vehicle”
>>>> text lady about it
Our ticketing system is electronic so we can text you when you’re being retarded.
>>>>lady doesn’t bother coming out until she’s done eating dinner
>>>ma’am the keys aren’t in your vehicle
>>> obviously they were or you wouldn’t be able to drive my car to park it
>>>explain why she’s retarded and she has her keys
>>>argue for another ten minutes while she claims we lost her keys
>>beg her to check her purse because that’s always where they are
>>>she begrudgingly checks assuring me they’re not in there
>>>they are in there
>>>customer start laughing omg user, can you believe I walked in with my keys??? I didn’t even know you could do that lmao hahahha okay we’re all good then :)
Fuck off cunt.
>be a veterinarian
>somebody comes in with an animal that has literally just a skin irritation near or on the head from them scratching too much
>give them a cone collar to stop the animal from doing this stupid shit and let it recede
>"are you sure? is this enough? there's no way this can be enough to stop it. i dont believe its just from him scratching! he never scratches!"
I DIDNT GO TO MEDICAL SCHOOL FOR 4 YEARS TO LIE TO YOU
Did you eat a clown for breakfast?
>>>work at headshop
>>>high end bongs called mothership only allow one shipment of their products maybe once or twice a year
>>> nobody including the store owner knows when that will be until a few weeks before it happens
>>>every day 15 assholes call
>>>>>> did you guys get a mothership drop yet?
>>no
>>>>> do you know when it’s coming???
>>>> no
>>> you don’t have any like in the back???
Go kill yourself for spending 5000 on a bong you useless piece of shit.
>be me carpenter, laid off
>find job at walmart
>never worked retail before but iv herd nightmares
>put in produce for 12 dollars an hour easiest fucking job
>running out of banana's? fill the fucker back up, thats it.
>come to the store dressed nicely in a black collar shirt and kakhis
>customer keep walking up to me thinking im a manager, help the customer as if I were cause its such a simple job
>do this for a month
>the managers like to walk around in a group the popular kids in highschool the associates are all scared of the managers for some reason
>Always walk up to them and jostle them, tell a joke smile and go do my thing for the day
>they never smile or laugh with me, they arent allowed, its how they are trained.
>days later im in the back throwing out old produce and talking with my partner who is this nice 50 year old lady who recently had a heart attack
>lifting the heavy stuff for her
>store director comes in, hes a small black guy, " hey let her do her job and you do yours ", " But im stronger than her "
>" oh and another thing, you need to downplay the way you dress, the customers are getting you confused with us and we dont like it "
>stand up and look at him, " dress for the job you want right? "
>he stares at me for a second, " shut up and stack those fucking bananas'
>allmywut
>woman associate does what shes told
>I walk over to him, " I dont need to take shit from the walmart-police, you guys are fucked up this job is fucking peanuts "
>hand him my badge and walk away
went back to building houses, fuck those sadistic walmart managers
>am a carhop at sonic
>idiots don't know how to order a meal
>"Hello, I'd like a uhhhhhhhhhh. .."
>"lemmee get a uhhhhhhhhhhh"
Would you like fries, or tots?
>"yes"
The fucking idiots that come to fast food places. What kills me, is when they can decide what they want BEFORE they press the stupid call button, but they decide what they want while they're ordering because they have a severe chromosome shortage.
Also
>idiots trying to order from the passenger side of the vehicle and getting angry when i can't hear them
>fucking relative-fucking hicks who refuse to turn off their big ass trucks while ordering
>niggers and white-trash trying to get free food by saying we fucked their food up or it's not fresh/not what they ordered
>"is it happy hour?"
>"how much is x item"
Why did you stopped building homes in the first place anyways?
That serves you right for thinking that retail is any better.
Hell, even prostitutes have it better sometimes.
said the failed trap prostitute.
Just had a baby and the season was drying up for jobs.
Nobody changes their carpet or wood floor in the winter.