Alrighty boys

Ian Evans
Ian Evans

Alrighty boys. Let me lay out the situation.
Be me
In College
Have crush on a girl I've been around since kindergarten
Never really spoken
She's a bit heavy, and she's incredibly shy
She rarely talks among her group of friends
Her "friends" are total bitches who keep her and a less-than-good-looking girl around to make themselves feel better about the fact that they'd be 8s or 9s were it not for incredibly minor things they can't help
She's rarely without her group though
I think she's afraid of her "friends" ditching her
If I, a 6'3" 290lb. brute, was to walk up and try to start a conversation like it's a thing to do, her friends would push me away and she wouldn't stop them for fear of them ditching her
I can't find her on social media

What do I do?

Pic is me.

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Brandon Morales
Brandon Morales

Get a fuckin haircut

Jonathan Edwards
Jonathan Edwards

Agreed

Nathan Nelson
Nathan Nelson

Ok, that's actually funny. I chuckled.
But no. I like having long hair. I look like an actual downie without it.

Jacob Peterson
Jacob Peterson

How do you know so much about this girl if youve never spoken
You've already come this far with stalking might as well go the full route and DENNIS her

Chase Hall
Chase Hall

this and lose some weight so that you don't look like a downie

Blake Jackson
Blake Jackson

Is it really stalking if we get put at desks that are near eachother and I overhear what is said among her group?
Besides, D.E.N.N.I.S only works in It's Always Sunny.

David Cruz
David Cruz

Check'd, and still no. Look, even my skinnier brother (who is legit a model) looks like a dumbass with short hair. Pic related, it's him.

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Owen Flores
Owen Flores

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Jason Peterson
Jason Peterson

Maybe just try to "open a door" and do something nice to her, she may notice you.
Or find any pretext, like a lesson you missed and you need to take somebody else notes or shit

Camden Scott
Camden Scott

Any pretext I can think of would seem odd and ill-founded, mostly because I have two people in both classes we share that I work with and copy off of when I miss a day, and I can't think of a time when I've seen her alone.. Just walking across the room and saying "Hey, I missed yesterday, can I copy your notes?" Would seem odd when someone who almost definetely has better notes is sitting right next to where I was, plus her friends would immediately start harassing me.

William Gray
William Gray

Hm yeah looks a bit more complicated.
Do you know if you have common interest with her (like any)

Cooper Sanders
Cooper Sanders

No clue. Like I said, I've listened to her friend's conversations, and she'll pitch in one or two statements. Despite being in the same classes for literally 13 years, I have absolutely no clue.

Chase Sanchez
Chase Sanchez

I would get as much advice from this board as possible then disregard all of it. Most of us are barely functioning social retards, so any advice you get from here is something you shouldn't do.

Jeremiah Rogers
Jeremiah Rogers

It occurred to me there is one saving grace. Every now and again I'll look up from what I'm doing to find her looking at me from across the room. We both look away immediately after.
That happens two or three times per class period.

As opposed to.../adv/, for example? They've been completely ignoring my thread.

Sebastian Jenkins
Sebastian Jenkins

Dude honestly all I can think of is wait until you see her by herself and go talk to her/ask her out. There has to be some point when shes alone and you get an opening. If she likes you she'll say yes

Camden Rivera
Camden Rivera

The D.E.N.N.I.S. system is fucking real. Its fucking depressing how easy it is to do it to a girl without the intentions of leaving her a broken mess

Jackson Diaz
Jackson Diaz

If shes looking at you then smile or do something funny to retain her attention. And if all else fails seriously get a haircut

Brayden Brown
Brayden Brown

What the hell would that make it then?
D.E.N.N.I?

Josiah Brooks
Josiah Brooks

What's Dennis system looked it up doesn't make sense to me

Jeremiah Perez
Jeremiah Perez

HEY DUMBASS, UNLESS THIS GIRLS A LESBIAN, GET A FUCKING HAIRCUT

Caleb Wright
Caleb Wright

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Carson Carter
Carson Carter

Not joke, but you really need a change of look, a haircut, shave, a shirt (a serius one, stylish, maybe purple), khakis, nice shoes. Seriously use a "working executive man" look this will really help you. Then you go to the hottest girl in your crush group ( I'm talking about the alpha bitch) and ask her to hel you with your crush that you like.

And man, really, change the look, it will really help you, people care about that shit and will treat you seriously different you dont have to change you, just your style. Worked really good for me, im fatter, uglier and probably a 3, buy ended with an 8 for wife, just for trying.

Kayden Nguyen
Kayden Nguyen

You look like a nasty autist with it so it's a lose lose.

Jack Rogers
Jack Rogers

Tell her that if she doesnt cram her meaty cunt mound into your mouth immediately youre going to twist her tits clean off.

Sebastian Wood
Sebastian Wood

At a certain point, the pursuit of love isn't worth sacrificing personal values and integrity. I'm a biker, and I damn-near live for the scalp massage that the wind in your hair gives. Plus, as already stated, I only look worse with short hair. Been thinking about dying two grey strips down the sides of my head over the summer though, to match how my hair is prematurely greying though.

Asher Bell
Asher Bell

If you're asking for advice and not willing to take any then just fucking ask her you fucking pussy bitch. If she says no then move the fuck on.

Isaac Ward
Isaac Ward

This

Isaac Lewis
Isaac Lewis

Yeah just keep transforming yourself into a faggier mess of a person then go to a job interview after you graduate being a goofy looking fuck with no social skills or personality and hope your dumb quirky looks get you by. Youve got a long road of disappointment ahead of you.

Robert Morales
Robert Morales

/fit/
/fa/
/ck/

James Wood
James Wood

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Austin Cooper
Austin Cooper

Jesus. 100 bucks you play WoW.

Dylan Wood
Dylan Wood

First of all, kill yourself. Immediately.

Charles Martinez
Charles Martinez

I tried it once back in 2010 and couldn't get into it.

Well I fail to see how that could help at all.

Jacob Hall
Jacob Hall

runescape?
overwatch?
anything?

Henry Brooks
Henry Brooks

long hair isn't for everyone op, it wasn't for me, and as this thread has probably made you aware, it isn't for you either. you don't have to get a buzzcut, but please, cut it.

Nathaniel Reyes
Nathaniel Reyes

Nah. Never really liked MMOs.

Justin Davis
Justin Davis

Get some balls and ask her, show confidence... drink some beers before if needed. And please fix your fucking hair or she is just going to run away from you

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Bentley Wilson
Bentley Wilson

I feel like people are assuming I don't brush my hair based on the fact that I look a bit frazzled in the pic. I brush it damn-near hourly, and I keep it in a ponytail. That pic was taken when I needed to brush it again.

Samuel Garcia
Samuel Garcia

Fucking kek

Asher Lewis
Asher Lewis

A shitty clapped out 20cc scooter that you deliver pizzas with doesn't classify you as biker, you fucking autist.

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Cameron Mitchell
Cameron Mitchell

please op, even google things you should get a haircut

Daniel Reyes
Daniel Reyes

Act confident OP chicks love it. Act like its a thing you do as you say. If they try take her away tell them off and say you are trying to talk to her and they should leave you both alone. If they succeed then say before she goes that you just want her number so you can chat privately then hand her a pen and paper.

Austin Foster
Austin Foster

You look like fucking shit user, like seriously how autistic are you? No wonder the bitch doesn't like your ass or notice you god damn. Also stop being a fat tendies eating faggot and do some cardio.

Blake Hall
Blake Hall

Jesus fucking Christ you're not helping yourself here are you

Daniel Morris
Daniel Morris

ponytail
oh god no, that's even worse

Lincoln Cooper
Lincoln Cooper

Ladypleaser99

James Jones
James Jones

You are cool bro, just don't overthink it

Samuel Mitchell
Samuel Mitchell

Nah bro it's all you bro

Connor Clark
Connor Clark

Oh shit you know my IRC handle?

Ethan Russell
Ethan Russell

Nah. Pretty sure a 1200 Harley Davidson Sportster counts until I can afford a Fat Boy though.

Have you ever tried riding a motorcycle with untied hair? It gets tangled SO bad.

Isaiah Sanchez
Isaiah Sanchez

Have you ever tried riding a motorcycle with untied hair? It gets tangled SO bad.
no, i haven't, yet somehow it's never been a problem for me, can you guess why?

Jace White
Jace White

You're too pussy to ride a motorcycle?

Joseph Carter
Joseph Carter

Only retards and wannabe biker dudes own harleys

Anthony Perez
Anthony Perez

i wouldn't say because i'm too pussy, more just never had the interest/opportunity, but what i was going for was GET A HAIRCUT

Ethan Reyes
Ethan Reyes

Zozz gimme that boipucci

Adrian Turner
Adrian Turner

Take this whole thread and your attitude in it as evidence as to why you're never going to ask this girl out and she'll never be your gf

Owen Cruz
Owen Cruz

As opposed to...Indian Motorcycles? I guess the Honda Goldwing counts in those circles too?

Connor Lopez
Connor Lopez

This, unfortunately he's too autistic for self reflection. He thinks he's different and cool or some shit and completely out of touch with how society actually works.

Adam Perry
Adam Perry

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Cameron Robinson
Cameron Robinson

You literally had like 10+ years to ask her out and you didn't cuck

Nicholas Miller
Nicholas Miller

You know, you're not wrong, I was just never interested until she caught my eye last year.

Sebastian Stewart
Sebastian Stewart

Says it's bait Everytime someone points out his floors

I'm starting to think the bait pictures are actually there to bait us, bite the fucking bullet and listen to the advice, we might be a bunch of cunts but it's because we're being brutally honest

Asher Nguyen
Asher Nguyen

Doesn't matter, New World Order Second Coming Mayan Prophecy, Embargo on Powder Donuts, this stuff is what matters.

Adam Parker
Adam Parker

Lose weight, shave neck beard, and move out of parents' basement.

Oliver James
Oliver James

Holy shit you genuinely are the biggest faggot on the internet

Oliver Rivera
Oliver Rivera

floors

Landon James
Landon James

Your shitty attitude

Elijah Stewart
Elijah Stewart

Y'know, if anything can be said about me, it's that I keep my neckbeard not shaven, but waxed.

Gavin Ward
Gavin Ward

Don't listen to them op you look great to me, just try start conversation with her one with a funny one liner

Nolan Bailey
Nolan Bailey

Start a conversation with a one-liner

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Luis Lopez
Luis Lopez

Can someone explain what Dennis means please, thank you.

Julian Harris
Julian Harris

Fuck sakes just Google meatspin it's like the first result

Elijah Evans
Elijah Evans

He looks like almost as much of a dipshit as you.

Anthony Perez
Anthony Perez

Your bait doesn't work, kill yourself.

Justin Robinson
Justin Robinson

Fuck you I'll have you know he's actually a well respected model, take your shitty insults elsewhere

Andrew Wood
Andrew Wood

OP impersonation: Failed.
My younger brother is a dumbass and will probably take his career nowhere. I was just using him as a hair comparison.

Cooper Hill
Cooper Hill

OP, like, what? A crush from Kindergarten to now and you haven't spoken much to her?
You need to act now or she'll eventually move on with her life.
When that happens you'll feel disappointed at yourself, probably beat yourself up for a while thinking on what-ifs.
I'd know, it's happened to me and it's a pretty bad feeling. Get to know her better and try. Even if she rejects at least you got the what-ifs feelings off your chest.

Jaxon Russell
Jaxon Russell

YOU ABSOLUTE FUCKING MANKEY. I DESPISE YOU.

Lincoln Powell
Lincoln Powell

Borrow his straightner maybe

Nolan Allen
Nolan Allen

This thread hs to be bait

Isaac Powell
Isaac Powell

I lost

Cooper Cooper
Cooper Cooper

Sameguy,
Also start lifting and get a haircut.
Maybe get a comb back and a beard, I think you'd look good with it.

Easton Jackson
Easton Jackson

My hair is already dead. That's desecrating a grave.

Pic Related. You think I'd actually look for advice here?

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Nathan Anderson
Nathan Anderson

You know op as much as I want to shove my big toe in your ear right now this guy's right you'd do well to listen

Nathan Brown
Nathan Brown

Surprisingly, not samefag. I am gonna start lifting this summer though, and an 80% diet. So there's that.

Owen Ortiz
Owen Ortiz

You are an insufferable faggot.

Sebastian Cruz
Sebastian Cruz

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Nathaniel Morris
Nathaniel Morris

Even old people ride motorcycles. It has nothing to do with being a pussy or not, but about whether you actually like motorcycles and are an enthusiast. Your posts scream that you bought a motorcycle to call yourself a biker because you think they are tough or something, which is the absolute worst reason to buy one. The wind in the hair says no helmet either. Also Harley’s are for fags, unreliable, garbage performance and twice the cost of a marginally better bike. Total brand fags bike you sound like some girl wanting to buy a 2000 dollar handbag because it’s the new in brand. Go kill yourself. Won’t be that hard considering you’re probably a shit rider

Joshua Anderson
Joshua Anderson

This op. The looking good comment was obviously just this person trying to be nice. But the main point is golden. Your only move is to be the fat funny guy. But just be careful if you try too hard you like worse than you ever thought possible

Luis Thomas
Luis Thomas

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Jaxson Lee
Jaxson Lee

after this thread dies OP still won't get a haircut despite now knowing what everyone almost certainly including his kindergarten crush thinks about his long hair

Leo Gomez
Leo Gomez

you look like a hippie freak as it is, get it cut.

Daniel Torres
Daniel Torres

Still not skinny and looks like a troll

Joseph Jackson
Joseph Jackson

You would be ten times better if you just shaved your nose.

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Wyatt Evans
Wyatt Evans

looks like a dumbass with short hair
he has long hair in that pic retard, also, google images thinks he's a girl too

Jace Harris
Jace Harris

Huehuehue it's just bait

Benjamin Ramirez
Benjamin Ramirez

Show me your man glands

Joseph Garcia
Joseph Garcia

If that’s actually you then I guess i’ll just be honest for your sake, you need to lose abit of weight, if you like long hair you need to do more with it looks all dry and nasty I go from longhair to regular a lot try conditioner or shampoo or something, that being said you’re not a complete right off, make eye contact with her and smile (subtly not a big creepy smile) if she smiles back, next time you see her by herself strike up a conversation then ask at the end of the conversation if it goes well for her Facebook or something...it’s simple as fuck dude you just gotta come prepared if you don’t look nice or smell nice she’ll already be turned off

Carter Kelly
Carter Kelly

brute
KEKAMANJARO
I'm 6'0 and weigh 220lb because I do MMA 6 times a week, where do you keep your lbs brah?

after typing this out i realised i got baited, hook, line and sinker.

Grayson Young
Grayson Young

Kill yourself

Aaron Gonzalez
Aaron Gonzalez

no one cares that youre fat and do mma. he said that's a picture of his brother, cringe-lord.

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