/brit/

*tanoy crackles*
this is a colleague announcement, would Sara please come to customer services, that's Sara to customer services thank you hen

Other urls found in this thread:

i.4cdn.org/wsg/1498421528313.webm
sundayregister.com/tragedy-popular-jav-actress-drowns-filming-bukkake-scene-tokyo/
twitter.com/nickmon1112/status/878058408829517824
youtube.com/watch?v=aavPQyuD6Cw
youtube.com/watch?v=FVHWxESdN4o
twitter.com/NSFWRedditVideo

soul reaped

doing a watch

anime

...

With you, right now

*pulls down your pants*

based Sargs sub ed.

wish I was a cute tranny who had gay sex all the time

wait
no I don't

Trying to bang a black girl rn

is christian gay?

OwO what's this

tell me about your first gay experience

reminder that this guy is the author of this post

...

Perhaps on instinct, perhaps from memory, she makes a futile dash for the front door, crying out. Though the chardonnay has dulled her reflexes, the Scotch I’ve drunk has sharpened mine, and effortlessly I’m leaping in front of her, blocking her escape, knocking her unconscious with four blows to the head from the nail gun. I drag her back into the living room, laying her across the floor over a white Voilacutro cotton sheet, and then I stretch her arms out, placing her hands flat on thick wooden boards, palms up, and nail three fingers on each hand, at random, to the wood by their tips. This causes her to regain consciousness and she starts screaming. After I’ve sprayed Mace into her eyes, mouth, into her nostrils, I place a camel-hair coat from Ralph Lauren over her head, which drowns out the screams, sort of.

cant think of a shitpostery post to accompany this fine image

janny's on his way x

oh m-my
big isn't it?

the p in islam stands for peace

Is it noncey if you're 25 and you're shagging a 20 year old?/?

someone post sara in the tescos jacket and/or sara crying, i'm gonna do a shop

>gif
fuck off

source pls

depends how you define gay
cuddled with a guy on Duke Of Edinburgh when i was 15, but that was all we did

when i was 17 i got chatted up at Pride and he taught me how to kiss and give hickeys

and then the next day he fugged me

gf told me i fuck her really good

i'm aware that she would probably say it even if it wasn't true but still gave me a nice ego boost

state of this fatty

Oh shit I'm sorry.

have now drank 5.5 litres of water today
feel a bit better, i'm usually perpetually dehydrated

i.4cdn.org/wsg/1498421528313.webm

>hairy masculine men
Kys

Kyary

I keep shooting nails into her hands until they’re both covered—nails bunched together, twisted over each other in places, making ”it impossible for her to try and sit up. I have to remove her shoes, which slightly disappoints me, but she’s kicking at the floor violently, leaving black scuff marks on the stained white oak. During this period I keep shouting “You bitch” at her and then my voice drops to a raspy whisper and into her ear I drool the line “You fucking cunt.” Finally, in agony, after I’ve taken the coat off her face, she starts pleading, or at least tries to, the adrenaline momentarily overpowering the pain. “Patrick oh god stop it please oh god stop hurting me …” But, typically, the pain returns—it’s too intense not to—and she passes out again and vomits, while unconscious, and I have to hold her head up so she doesn’t choke on it and then I Mace her again. The fingers I haven’t nailed I try to bite off, almost succeeding on her left thumb which I manage to chew all the flesh off of, leaving the bone exposed, and then I Mace her, needlessly, once more.

Not in the slightest

lied to the bf about his ability in bed hehe

what you lads doing for eid tomorrow then?

Hot

Adore this pic of Taylor

In a nightclub in Barcelona, a guy gave me xtc, we snogged and he took me to the toilets and sucked my dick

How much do you spend on patreon lads?

don't think a single one of you has a bf

alri luddite

babymetal

>shrugs shoulders
>sucks penis
KEK

you don't have anything to be sorry about
*bends you over*
*unzips dick*
Wish I did tbqhwy

how do I stop hating myself and wanting to commit suicide

£60

screeching

Love when blacks get whats coming to them

... Me Timothy James Byrne and Su selfie at my rented flat in High Wycombe ...

I place the camel-hair coat back over her head in case she wakes up screaming, then set up the Sony palm-sized Handycam so I can film all of what follows. Once it’s placed on its stand and running on automatic, with a pair of scissors I start to cut off her dress and when I get up to her chest I occasionally stab at her breasts, accidentally (not really) slicing off one of her nipples through the bra. She starts screaming again once I’ve ripped her dress off, leaving Bethany in only her bra, its right cup darkened with blood, and her panties, which are soaked with urine, saving them for later.
I lean in above her and shout, over her screams, “Try to scream, scream, keep screaming….” I’ve opened all the windows and the door to my terrace and when I stand over her, the mouth opens and not even screams come out anymore, just horrible, guttural, animal-like noises, sometimes interrupted by retching sounds. “Scream, honey,” I urge, “keep screaming.” I lean down, even closer, brushing her hair back. “No one cares. No one will help you….” She tries to cry out again but she’s losing consciousness and she’s capable of only a weak moan. I take advantage of her helpless state and, removing my gloves, force her mouth open and with the scissors cut out her tongue, which I pull easily from her mouth and hold in the palm of my hand, warm and still bleeding, seeming so much smaller than in her mouth, and I throw it against the wall, where it sticks for a moment, leaving a stain, before falling to the floor with a tiny wet slap. Blood gushes out of her mouth and I have to hold her head up so she won’t choke. Then I fuck her in the mouth, and after I’ve ejaculated and pulled out, I Mace her some more.

about as much as a Sup Forums janitor makes in a year

the virtual waifu age is nearly upon us

>Some female performers have refused to work with Christian after hearing of his gay performing past and ongoing transsexual work.[4]

WTF? Why are female porn stars such stuckup cunts?

get some goals and hobbies

sundayregister.com/tragedy-popular-jav-actress-drowns-filming-bukkake-scene-tokyo/

how tragic

Reported and filtered

drug yourself into a stupor with benzos, booze, weed and opiates

>Cuckgon of Swindon

i have yellow fever

twitter.com/nickmon1112/status/878058408829517824

sargon btfo

Just bee yourself :)

that's really cute x

i had one
he dumped me though

went round to my mate's house after school, played guitar hero with him, he nicked his dad's whisky and we ended up kissing and sucking each others willies

Shagged an absolute 9/10 two nights ago and still riding the high

the sex wasn't even that great, but its not about that is it? Its the confidence high you get from knowig some 9/10 wanted to fuck you.

Music sounds better, food tastes better, the sun shines a little brighter.

Now I get why normies are so obsessed with pulling. Might make a habit of this...

who the fuck is sargon and why do we care

Gave up alcohol.

It was a tough decision, but I lose a lot productivity because I spend all of my days off in a drunken haze.

Now I'll be able to get shit done if I'm off from work.

>Shifting Gears sparked controversy in August 2008, when its official press release coined the term "straight-for-pay", a play on "gay-for-pay", to refer to the film's well-known gay stars appearing in heterosexual scenarios for the first time.[2] Riley's scene with Shy Love was reportedly his first sexual encounter with a woman, which he later claimed to have enjoyed.[3] He added that he was totally comfortable during his heterosexual pairings and had no problems maintaining an erection.[4] These comments drew heavy criticism from Riley's gay fans. He fueled the controversy in an October 2008 Randy Blue performance in which he stated he was open to doing another bisexual film, and revealed that his ultimate sexual fantasy was to be penetrated by a female wearing a strap-on.[5] Many gay men felt deceived by Riley and even accused him of never being gay in the first place.[6]

Porn drama is honestly fascinating. They should make soap operas out of this shit.

I'll be your bf x

E-stats

bet she was a chubby 6

блин

youtube.com/watch?v=aavPQyuD6Cw

post that wojak lads

you know which one

feel as though you've shared this story already. get a gf and fuck off autist

some fat neckbeard who makes videos about gamergate and ess jay doublejews

prime runt

Tim's level of mental degradation has become disturbing
if you said to me a year ago that he'd be walking around his rented flat in high wycombe virtually naked, convinced that his computer is hacked (because he has over a terabyte of videos slowing down his loading times) and now has speech so fast you can barely understand him, i don't know if i'd believe you
but here we are

took my SSRIs because the withdrawal symptoms are torturous

>American '''''Rappers'''''

youtube.com/watch?v=FVHWxESdN4o

does he post on /brit/ then?

Come to the conclusion that a lot of pop music isn't that bad and I was trying too hard not like it

Posted an absolute 4/10 meme two nights ago and still riding the high

the replies weren't even that great, but its not about that is it? Its the confidence high you get from knowig some rando wanted to reply to your post.

Music sounds better, food tastes better, the sun shines a little brighter.

Now I get why autists are so obsessed with memes. Might make a habit of this...

I've got a joke lads
>A Scot introduces his girlfriend to his father
>"This is Amanda"
>Dad replies "Is fuckin' wit?"

really wish I had a bf
some of you sound really cute and sweet

Nah shes fit as fuck, gym rat

what's with the stuffed animals

...

imagine being a fat benefits scrounger from Swindon and having an online moniker after a Sumerian war lord

runt
would smash your jaw like a sledge to a concrete block but i bet a stiff breeze would dispose of you before i even got the chance to swing at you

Doing a browse of cripplechans /cuteboy/ board
simple as
T-thanks lad

wouldn't say he's got any better or worse. last year he was convinced that every single delivery van that came within sight of his house was sent by people out to "mess him around" who are working with a paki dentist who works across the landing and the NHS

pics or i will not be believing you

post su1488

lel

Really? I was on a huge dose when I was 16 and i dont remember any withdrawal symptoms

although they also gave me partial amnesia haha so that might be why

Don't care

Watching the nigger show

cognitive dissonance

heres my favorite

...

Unless, UNLESS he's fucking the step-daughter.

Someone inform the authorities.

normies here

normies there

fucking normies

Watching a comfy film wrapped up in a blanket laying on my sofa and I've never wanted a gf more. Just someone to spoon and who can fall asleep in my arms

I just want to be wanted lads