[Hook: Dido] My career's gone cold I'm wondering why I got out of bed at all The morning rain clouds on my window And I can't see at all And even if I could it'd all be gray But your picture on my wall It reminds me that I'm not so old, I'm not so old
[Verse 1: Trump (as Eminem)] Dear Trump, I cursed you, but you still ain't reactin' NSA got my cell, my pager and my home phone no redactin' My crowd sold FUCK TRUMP back in autumn, you must not've bought 'em There probably was a problem with the twitter app or I was noddin Sometimes I type in addresses too sloppy when I cop 'em But anyways, fuck it, what's been up, man? How's your daughter? My daughter's pregnant too, I'm 'bout to be a grandfather If she has a daughter, guess what I'ma call her? I'ma name her Melania I read about your brother Fred too, I'm sorry I had a friend drink too much over some bitch who didn't want him I know you probably hear this every day, but I'm a secret fan I loved the underground shit that you did to Rat and Guac Man I got a shelf full of your self help books and pictures, damn! I even ate Trump Steaks too, that shit was phat Anyways, I hope you get this, man, hit me back Just to chat, truly yours, your biggest fan, I'm your man. Eminam.
Juan Bell
[Hook: Dido] My career's gone cold I'm wondering why I got out of bed at all The morning rain clouds up my window And I can't see at all And even if I could it'd all be gray But your picture on my wall It reminds me that I'm not so old, I'm not so old
[Verse 2: Trump (as Eminem)] Dear Trump, you still ain't called or tweeted, I hope you have a chance I ain't mad, I just wonder if you think I'm resistance If you didn't want to talk to me outside your rally You could have bailed, G. But at least you coulda signed an autograph for Hailie That's my little girl, man, she's 21 years old We waited in the blisterin' cold For you, for four hours, and you just said no That's pretty shitty, man, you're like her fuckin' idol She wants to be just like you, man, she likes you more than I do I ain't that mad though, I just don't like being lied to Remember when we met at Mar-a-Lago? You said if I'd tweet you, you would tweet back See, I'm just like you in a way: I was really famous and on TV I used to always do interviews and say shit outrageously I can relate to what you're sayin' in your tweets So when I have a shitty day, I drift away and scroll through 'em ‘Cause I don't really got shit else So that shit helps when I'm depressed I even got a tattoo of your name across the chest Like you I even cut myself to see how much it bleeds It's like adrenaline, the pain is such a sudden rush for me See, everything you say is real, and I respect you ‘cause you tell it My ex wife's jealous ‘cause I talk about you 24/7 But she don't know you like I know you, Don, no one does She don't know what it was like for people like us comin' up You gotta tweet me, man I'll be the biggest fan you'll ever lose, sincerely yours, Eminem P.S. We should be together too
Grayson Diaz
[Hook: Dido] My career's gone cold I'm wondering why I got out of bed at all The morning rain clouds on my window And I can't see at all And even if I could it'd all be gray But your picture on my wall It reminds me that I'm not so old, I'm not so old
[Verse 3: Trump (as Eminem)] Dear Mr. I'm-Too-Good-to-Call-or-Tweet-About-Em That'll be the last rap I write about you I'll be sending in. It's been six days, and still no word — I don't deserve it? I said I was angry so pay attention! I even addressed it to you perfect! So this is my recordin' I'm sendin' you, I hope you hear it I'm in my limo right now, I'm doin' 90 on the freeway Hey, Drumph, I made my driver drink a fifth of vodka, you dare him to drive? You know the song by Phil Collins, "In the Air of the Night" About that guy who coulda saved that other guy from drownin' But didn't, then Phil saw it all, then at a show he found him? That's kinda how this is: you coulda rescued me from drownin' Now it's too late, I'm on a thousand downers now, I'm drowsy And all I wanted was a lousy tweet, anything at all I hope you know I ripped all of your pictures off my wall I loved you, Blumphy, I coulda been Vice President — think about it! You ruined it now, I hope you can't sleep and you dream about it And when you dream I hope you can't sleep And you scream about it; I hope your conscience eats at you And you can't breathe without me See, Drumph— shut up, bitch! I'm tryin' to talk Hey, racist, that's my last fan screamin' in the trunk But I didn't slit his throat, I just tied him up, see, I ain't like you ‘Cause if he suffocates he'll suffer more, and then he'll die too Well, gotta go, we're almost at the bridge now Oh shit, I forgot, how am I supposed to send this shit out?!
Thomas Parker
[Hook: Dido] My career's gone cold I'm wondering why I got out of bed at all The morning rain clouds up my window And I can't see at all And even if I could it'd all be gray But your picture on my wall It reminds me that I'm not so old, I'm not so old
[Verse 4: Trump] Dear Eminem, I meant to tweet about you sooner, but I just been busy You said your daughter's pregnant now, how far along is she? Look, I'm really flattered you would call your granddaughter that And here's an autograph For your daughter; I wrote it on a MAGA cap I'm sorry I didn't see you at my rally, I musta missed you Don't think I played interdimensional chess just to diss you But what's this shit you said about you like to cut your wrists "too"? That's fake news, dawg, come on, how fucked up is you? You got some issues, Eminem, I think you need some counselin' To help your ass from bouncin' Off the walls when you get down some And what's this shit about us meant to be together? That type of shit'll make me not want us to meet each other I really think you and your fans need each other Or maybe you just need to treat them better I hope you get to read this letter I just hope it reaches you in time Before you hurt yourself, I think that you'll be doin' just fine If you relax a little, I'm glad I inspire you, but Em, Why are you so mad? Try to understand That I do want you as a fan I just don't want you to do some crazy shit I seen this one shit on the news A couple weeks ago that made me sick Some dude was drunk and drove his car over a bridge and had a trans in the trunk but not full, they suspect that Caitlyn fibbed And in the car they found a tape, but they didn't say who it was to Come to think about it, his name was… it was you, damn
Alexander Johnson
THAT'S
Leo Foster
Fucking KEK
Mason Davis
>please notice me senpai
Grayson Young
cringe
Austin Sanchez
...
Leo Davis
...
Asher Adams
requesting the fuck white people rap copypasta
Angel Johnson
>Dear Mr. I'm-Too-Good-to-Call-or-Tweet-About-Em
O.K., this is the point where I lost HARD. Good work, OP.
Aiden Gomez
not what you are looking for but I'll bump for you
Gabriel Long
Fucking top kek, user. Too bad I can't do a Trump voice or I would record it. Eminem used to be the shot, how could he have fallen so far? He's mad that he isn't getting a tweet war with Trump? How pathetic!
Grayson Russell
Glad you guys like it
Jacob Price
...
Zachary Flores
masterful
Liam Martin
The thought of Eminem killing himself over not being tweeted about by the president is pretty funny.
Xavier Sanchez
...
Brayden Russell
Genius.
Grayson Richardson
Great
Ryan Smith
>Dear Slim, I wrote you but you still ain't calling
