/brit/

the gfs edition

Other urls found in this thread:

youtube.com/watch?v=5FVY6Pxtu6Q
youtube.com/watch?v=XeJw2_s9byM
en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Multicultural_London_English
en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Category:English_language_in_England
youtube.com/watch?v=dgo1GSusttM
aappublications.org/content/early/2014/03/27/aapnews.20140327-1
youtube.com/watch?v=p2zWwJMcMhI
twitter.com/SFWRedditGifs

post the pepe that best sums up your feelings

must have been from the /britlgbt/ thread, i dont really post anywhere else

stick a pony in me pocket

JUST

Can't unsee that graph tbqh

zozzling

made in chelsea is an absolutely disgusting show, how can anyone like any of these people

youtube.com/watch?v=5FVY6Pxtu6Q

I have a boner lads

*rubs it*

...

*tannoy sounds*

This is a customer and colleague announcement. Would Sara Davidson please report to the bogs.

That's Sara Davidson... to the bogs.

Thank you.

*tannoy sounds again*

...

not a tarquin but i just cannot understand how people can watch almost anything on tv

...

“Goddamn kids with their stupid—rrragh! I am beyond late!” Mew Tuely angrily mused as she slid her sedan into her personal parking space, tires chirping as the vehicle popped to a slanted stop. The pokemon was in one hell of a rush this morning: owing primarily to a group of ghost-types that had held her up leaving her posh suburban home for nearly ten minutes, which kept her from beating the morning rush as usual, forced her onto the turnpike (which, go figure, turned out to be under heavy construction) and ultimately now had her arriving at her office almost thirty minutes behind schedule — on an early A.M meeting day like this one, this was unacceptable.
“Those idiots totally screwed me! Who the hell tries to panhandle with a roadside car-wash service at six in the morning! Uugh!” Tuely ranted further as she hustled towards the building’s entrance, dark-blue blazer and side-split pencil skirt swishing against her well-curved body and ebony heels clickity-clacking rapidly against the sidewalk as she went, assets a-jiggling all the way..
“If I ever see those punks again I’ll...I’ll...uh…”

Mew trailed off as she was forced to a sudden stop. Astonishingly, the very same gang of ghosts were brazenly loitering around her place of work’s main entrance! Pointed thoughts of how the malcontents managed to beat her here or why the bunch of Haunters were leering so eagerly her way fell by the wayside as Tuely’s rage took over. Unfortunately she couldn’t risk simply psy-beaming them away (like she had resorted to earlier this morning) considering the circumstances...so she summoned up some hidden reserves of restraint, grit her teeth and stomped onward, pushing her way through the crowd of ghastly goons determined to not give them even the time of day, let alone an ounce of her attention. She got an extra layer of shock when the gang began to speak up as she stalked between them, though.

chortling

Kill yourselves fucking scumbags

"Hey ma, good lookin’ out!”
“Ey look shorty’s followin’ us! Das alright lady we don’t mind the company…”
“Eh-heh-heh yo baby c’mon n’ chill wit us a while, eh?”
“Damn dat’s an ass I could tap all day! All day, son!”
“Nice tits bitch! Har har!”

Tuely ignored the jibes and cat-calls with relative ease, but just as she was nearly clear of the ghoulish gathering she felt a clawed, three-pronged paw slink around her back and grab a handful of her plush buttocks in a cheeky squeeze. Well, she couldn’t ignore that — Mew Tuely’s eyes emitted a violent fuchsia flash, and a powerful blast of psychic energy briefly lit up the well-landscaped entrance to the proud office building. When the dust settled, Tuely glanced around briefly to confirm with a satisfied nod that her countermeasure to the unsolicited groping had been successful. The ghosts were nowhere to be seen, so with one more pleased huff she turned on her heel and headed inside, refocusing her attention on the meeting she needed to lead this morning, and what sort of excuse she’d give for arriving so late.


***

IRELAND
SAVIOR OF EUROPE

DONT NICK MY FUCKING GIMMICK nah you're alright Hun :) x

grim

Why 2 threads

Accidentally read one word of this. Don't know what a tuely is and guess I never will.

***


“...and so, while profit margins are middling so far this quarter I believe with the following proposed synergy-affirming policy changes we can right our course and return to our previous state of upward-trending growth from last year’s holiday season. Now, as you can see here…”
As it turned out Tuely had worried more than she needed — the meeting, despite starting a little late, was proceeding just fine now. After all her harried whinging there was really nothing to worry about. She was totally in her element now, the commanding presence at the head of her corporate vehicle and all she had to do now was go through the motions and—

-yoink-

Tuely stiffened at the sudden, disturbingly familiar feeling of a hand grabbing her ass. Reflexively she whipped around to confront the culprit...only to confront the bare boardroom wall behind her. A round of confused murmurs from her audience quickly turned the woman back around. Not really having the luxury of considering what just happened, Tuely shook her head and soldiered on. Not two seconds after she’d returned fully to the presentation though, her shapely rear was once again non-consensually pinched. This time it felt as though two hands had snuck under her skirt, while (even more distressingly) a third mitt slithered invisibly down the front of her lacy black undergarments, unseen digits digging precariously into the cleft of her crotch. Stumbling again in her speech as she furtively glanced down her front, the baffled businesswoman again saw...nothing at all. Despite her eyes spying no perpetrator, her body wasn’t lying: something or someone was definitely diddling her hardcore, right in the middle of the meeting!

>MY

George Osbanter

Then, from the silence her second awkward pause had left in the room came the faintest whispered giggles, emanating from just over her shoulders.
“hehehee...hey bitch, remember us…?”
The Haunters! Tuely’s eyes lit up with stifled fury — those no-good thugs actually had the brazen balls to follow her invisibly into the building and up into the meeting room, despite the psychic thrashing she thought had scared them off earlier! This was now a truly worst-case scenario: Tuely couldn’t possibly call the meeting prematurely, for fear of her assembled peers and subordinates getting a front-row seat to their boss being fingerbanged by a gang of street spectres as much as the professional standards she rigorously kept. No, she decided, this was not a no-win situation: she could easily ignore a couple dumb kids. Clearing her throat, the leading lady pointedly patted her clenched thighs under her dark skirt and launched into a well-researched treatise on inter-office management reform.

Sadly no amount of foresight or prep-work could have kept Tuely from splitting her attention here. Despite her best efforts, the harassed honcho’s speaking ability continued to deteriorate. For every eloquent explanation she gave another broken up with awkward pauses and stuttered tied-tongue mispeakings, on account of the growing number of unseen assailants gang-glomping their hated hands into the pokemon’s every nook and cranny. The whole of Tuely’s shapely body was under the gun now: a dozen transparent talons grapples, kneaded and clawed her plump breasts beneath her black blazer — with a couple going further still to tweak and tug on her instinctively-stiffening nipples — while a dozen more stroked, slapped and squeezed her bodacious booty and fat upper thighs. Just when she thought it couldn’t get any worse, a new challenge approached…

youtube.com/watch?v=XeJw2_s9byM

>he's a celt
lmao
>he's an anglo-saxon
lmao
>he's a norman
good lad

Why do young Brits sound like they are talking in Jamaican patois

I started it, it's my gimmick

it's a london ting still

West London had (and still has) a large Jamiacan community that thrives and influences our culture

i like them tbqh

No I did

en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Multicultural_London_English

what are you on about? just because we use 2 loanwords like mandem and peng and ting doesnt mean anything, the english language itself is built on loanwords from other languages

Influx of Jamaicans into London

are you literally 12 or 13 years old? i know its supposed to be ironic but i honestly cant fathom men into their 20's sitting at a computer, typing this shit, posting it, having a chucle to themselves. it gives me the fear to be honest.

hate snarky arrogant students

which of you did this?

WEST LANDAN MENTIONED

Cus we ar ya rassclart

Kiss me teet, oi mandem pree dis wetbwoi looooool

need earring suggestions lads

SCREECHING

>earring
post boipucci

Check the archives

Really enjoyed reading this page
Any similar sources of linguistic information?

simple stud will do just fine

Fuck me that's 5 mins from where I live in Isleworth

I was in that bus the day before

not bent
not a working class runt

Saw the blonde fella in Belfast airport on the way to London once. Called him a fruit and he went red in the face and looked down at his phone haha.

studs are the only not-completely-bent earring there is

>west london

i think you mean south and east london

i used to live in Isleworth, gresham road i think it was. long time ago now though.

it could have been you abusing that pole

Good lad

t. complete bender that wears studs in his ears

...

Ooh you're ard

uh idk mate
all i know is im from Notting Hill in west lonodn and it was basically a Jamaican ghetto in the 80s before it got all gentrified

arder than the chelsea ponce that's for sure haha

...

en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Category:English_language_in_England

bunch of pages here

anime

That's Hounslow no?

thinking of getting a bigger ring but also want something dangly

Because you're called him a fruit? Loool funny definition of hard mate

>dodgy ulster paddies get more in just a few meetings that lib dems did in five years
radical centrists are pathetic

prove me wrong

>tfw my street has its own wikipedia page

its not even a piddling runt page, its a good 10-12 paragraphs

oo you are right, cant think where i lived in isleworth, lived there before hounslow.

I'm glad we came to an agreement: abortion is murder

HOWLING

youtube.com/watch?v=dgo1GSusttM
youtube.com/watch?v=dgo1GSusttM

because he got scundered and looked away instead of saying something to me

must've known i'd have knahked is ballix in

>implying you didn't make it yourself
doxing you by your IP address now kid

whoa...Is this true? It has over 20k retweets so it must be

That many truck assaults? Tragic...

it actually is true though

irrelevant country makes a contentless post
shocker

tbf there is credibly evidence Shakespeare actually didn't write his plays, but that Christopher Marlowe did instead
dont think anyone on the planet seriously believes it was some black chick though

...

apparently many black slaves got their surnames from their masters surnames

there's a lot of black Williams, Jones, Davies, Lewis, Hughes and Roberts families now that i think about it...

hmmmm...

its good to see him smile a little
was worried he might not be capable of it anymore tbqh

>not bent
>wants an earring
Pick one you fucking bender.

>Prevalence also varied by racial/ethnic group, with non-Hispanic white children 30% more likely to be identified than non-Hispanic black children and 50% more likely than Hispanic children.
aappublications.org/content/early/2014/03/27/aapnews.20140327-1

Why does autism lead to higher levels of success

do you even know who amelia bassano is?

>those comments
>grr you say bad thing about polish you love muslim

Inane

can't see myself ever having sex

WE

>didn't get invited to work outing
>apparently it was all arranged on facebook

feel like I'm missing out things just because I don't use any social media

saw myself having it this morning haha

Kill, fuck, marry

Big mommy jew tits for the win desu

>no pictures of jawbreakers
Neck yourself

>on no fap
>watch way more porn than usual
why do i do this

someone's been sending him shit again

youtube.com/watch?v=p2zWwJMcMhI
youtube.com/watch?v=p2zWwJMcMhI

Probably didn't hear you because you muttered it under your breath you spineless gimp, then you went trying to brag to us giving it the big I AM

already have it lad

WEW

>that face

Ah yes a genetic cock-gargler.

bot

>turtleqt is here