Gets sorted into hufflepuff

>gets sorted into hufflepuff

>qt I know gets sorted into Hufflepuff
>Laughs about it with me
>Assume I'll be a gryffinchad and can flirt it back to her
>I end up as hufflecuck
>A...at least were not Slytherin haha
>She's on vacation now with Hispanic gryffinchad

>raven claw!
>mfw

...

>mfw awkward clumsy virgin sex with 3/10 hufflepuff grils

To celebrate the fact that one of the dullest franchises in the history of movie franchises is finally over. Each episode following the boy wizard and his pals from Hogwarts Academy as they fight assorted villains has been indistinguishable from the others. Aside from the gloomy imagery, the series’ only consistency has been its lack of excitement and ineffective use of special effects, all to make magic unmagical, to make action seem inert.

Perhaps the die was cast when Rowling vetoed the idea of Spielberg directing the series; she made sure the series would never be mistaken for a work of art that meant anything to anybody, just ridiculously profitable cross-promotion for her books. The Harry Potter series might be anti-Christian (or not), but it’s certainly the anti-James Bond series in its refusal of wonder, beauty and excitement. No one wants to face that fact. Now, thankfully, they no longer have to.

>a-at least the books were good though
"No!"
The writing is dreadful; the book was terrible. As I read, I noticed that every time a character went for a walk, the author wrote instead that the character "stretched his legs."

I began marking on the back of an envelope every time that phrase was repeated. I stopped only after I had marked the envelope several dozen times. I was incredulous. Rowling's mind is so governed by cliches and dead metaphors that she has no other style of writing. Later I read a lavish, loving review of Harry Potter by the same Stephen King. He wrote something to the effect of, "If these kids are reading Harry Potter at 11 or 12, then when they get older they will go on to read Stephen King." And he was quite right. He was not being ironic. When you read "Harry Potter" you are, in fact, trained to read Stephen King.

You forgot the image you fucking idiot

Based Mormon

>sorted into ravenclaw
>get some of that pink lovegood pussy

Fucking manchildren from tumblr that got bullied out of /lit/!

I'd probably end up in Hufflepuff as well.

>Literally the 'ehh, everyone else goes here' category

>implying hufflepuff isnt where all the sloots are at

>Gryffindor - Chad tier, comparable to the guys in high school who were star athletes and prom kings. The kind of dudes who tame hot Ravenclaw poon at the Quidditch match afterparty. Total bro tier house, best in Hogwarts. Pretty much all Chads.
>Slytherin - the kids in high school who just transferred from a private school and acted like they were hot shit because their dad makes more money than yours. Frat tier douchebags who are the stereotypical "you can hit me but my dad will sue" kids.
>Ravenclaw - the kids in high school who were on the debate team, got straight A's, and were more involved in the arts than athletics. So pretty much the Indian kids, Asian kids, and the really nerdy white kids
>Hufflepuff - the kids with special needs who either had down syndrome or some sort of mental retardation and were typically found being herded by the tard wranglers, or the smelly kids who ran through the hallways Naruto style & wore Jorts, newbalances, anime T-shirts, and trenchcoats with a fedora.

>wanting jew pussy

Ewwwww.

Where is the normal kid

>implying hufflepuff wouldn't be the best faction in the harry potter mmo

Which house had the best poon?

but im literally none of those things

Fucking kek

Hufflepussy

Then youse a muggle

I want to be in hufflepuff so I can do wizard drugs

forever normie

name TEN movies where this happens

based quentin

all harry potter flicks
Drive
that it aint me war movie
rocky 3

>not wanting jew pussy

fag

>Hufflemuff
>Ravenclam
>Slytherquim
>Gryffinhole

The garbage story aside, the comfy escapism the first couple movies offer is great.

Ravenclaw for days

her pussy would guaranteed stink because she probably uses some obscure magical creature as a douche

something about her mouth is weird.

it's like it's too tight, or too small for her face. and her chin juts out too much and she has a bit of an underbite

muh nigga. lost my virginity and had tons of sex back in highschool this way. specifically targetted 3s and 4s for that vrigin sex. i was drowning in pussy lol

>Ravenclaw - the kids in high school who were on the debate team, got straight A's, and were more involved in the arts than athletics. So pretty much the Indian kids, Asian kids, and the really nerdy white kids

h-hey...!

i know guys like you.

no one was impressed then and no one is impressed now.

I'd probably be a raveclaw but hang out with gryffindor. Slytherin is a weird house since their main attribute isnt really intelligence or ambition but just simply "bad guys" in general. Malfoys goons didnt seem intelligent or ambitious and Malfoy himself is a shit too.

>gets sorted into Ravenclaw

>debate team, got straight A's, and were more involved in the arts than athletics
Is robot club one of the arts? Does chess club count as athletics?

...

meh. still had tons of sex lol.
back in highschool iwas really nerdy and quiet although i'm not ugly ugly, i was pretty much a 5 or 6 so prepping up to be a 7 was easy. a 7 hitting on a 3 or 4 was easy street.

the funny thing about this i carried this thinking all the way up until adulthood. if i want to score some pussy i just visit some night scene and specifically target the 3s or 4s. fuck i'm a man whore

Get ready to power up that jack off crystal.

Slytherin was always superior anyway.

ugh I can't choose between ravenclaw and slytherin

>not the facial version

what the fuck haha

Is this real?

w-wut

I did not need to know that.

I'm impressed. I wish I would have stopped obsessing over top tier qt's a long time ago.

yeah she was having another episode because she was becoming irrelevant again. tweets are all deleted now though

no fucking way, it can't be real. although I've read Cursed Child so I know that anything's possible when it comes to Rowling these days

no sry there's a fucking collegehumor watermark

>ywn get invited to the ritual orgasm in the hufflepuff fuckboi dungeon

Hufflepuff is the house that gets all the guys/girls. This is no words for a child's ears though, which is why you don't hear this often.

Most Hufflepuffs end up playing the field for a while after graduation and then marry the best. Hufflepuffs aren't necessarily good-looking, but there is just something about them that makes them very attractive.

sauce: Ravenclaw grill with a crush to end all crush on a Hufflepuff boy. I intend to gain money, power and prestige with my superior inventions to make myslf a good marriage prospect.

>whip cock out
>they all start laughing at you
>they take wizard photos of your tiny cock
>you cum and start farting

No. You roleplay as a member of the Wizarding World of Harry Potter, on a online image board.

>they let you puff their feet before you leave

...

>tfw you're secretly a Chad

Slytherin had that crazy girl pussy. Can,t be beaten

What site?

>Gets sorted into besthouse
Fixed
Hufflepuff is the place to be, you just hang around chill people
What better?
>Gryffindor - Can't mind their own business
>Slytherin - Wallstreet bankers as a house
>Ravenclaw - Teacher, you forgot to check the homework

>Teacher, you forgot to check the homework
I used to do this and then turn around and smile at the burnouts in the back. Get rekt normies.

>5 inches of dogwood

what did pottermore mean by this?

what's the deal with the economy in the Harry Potter Universe? Seems like unless you work for the ministry or own an owl shop on diagon alley you are shit out of luck.

Like how are you supposed to earn any wizard coin? The few unskilled jobs that exist must be super competitive and probably require 10 years experience/ sucking wands to get your foot in the door.

How did the Malfoys get so rich?

interesting post

it seems like everyone who graduates hogwarts either goes on to work for the ministry or is forced to start their own business

Does hogwarts even offer basic accounting/finance classes? Is there a wizard grad school where they have to learn boring muggle budgeting?

Gryffindor = Sup Forums
Ravenclaw = /sci/
Slytherin = Sup Forums
Hufflepuff = [r9k]

Goblins do that.

The Potter universe exists solely in the mind of JK Rowling and unless we accept the slim chance she is browsing Sup Forums at this very moment and chooses to respond to your thread concerning economics in a kids series, we will never know for certain. Alternatively you can ask /lit/ or even the big breasted author on twitter(there is 90% chance that she will respond for the sake of more publicity)

(((Goblins)))

Reddit/Facebook/Tumblr = You

Gryffindor - Facebook
Ravenclaw - Reddit
Slytherin - Tumblr
Hufflepuff - Sup Forums

>Be hufflepuff
>Take drugs, fuck about, pass classes
>Everyone forgets about me while they murder each other or some bullshit
>School collapses on graduation day, go home

Seems okay

Oh yeah tough guy?

If you think that, you most likely belong to hufflepuff.

>tfw you will never shoot a wizard
why live?

>get fucked to death by Greyback while you're trying to escape during the collapse and battle

...

Every member of Hufflepuff fought at the battle of hogwarts
Show what you know faggot

Why does JK Rowling acts like such an overlord now? At the new movie premiere someone was holding her fucking umbrella for her

Hufflepuff seams like the place where all the stoners go.
ravenclaw is the straight a's debate team class vice president sorta shits.
Slytherin is the lower upper class faggots who's parents buy them a car for their birthday at age 16.
griffendor is the chads.

>No image
>Didn't change the opening line
I'm here, three hours later, to remind you how much of a colossal retard you are.

>Be born a wizard to a wizard only family
>Go to study at a wizard school
>Have no skills outside of what you learned
>You either work for the government or go back teaching because you need the capital to start a business which you don't have because, again, you don't really know anything
>Can't make money in the muggle world because you have no idea the very basics of anything
>Probably can't even convert currency
Being a wizard is 50% being in a cult and 50% studying a useless major in university

Witch Trainer gives me such a hardon
perfect emma

>ravenclaw - stuckup
>gryffindor - tryhards
>slytherin - nazis

hufflepuff is the most rational choice

>gets sorted into Slytherin
But I'm surely I am not a bad guys.

You're right, I never read past the fourth book and never saw any of the movies.

Still, it seemed like they were calm during the series, regardless of the end

what the fucks an ilvermorny

american wizarding school introduced in the new movie i think

ah that makes sense

meh princess trainer was 10x better

best blue balls of my life

Princess Trainer was pretty great
A little bit too grindy for me but it had some great scenes in it
Eager to see what akabur does next