/mlb/ general - SUMMER TRASH edition

BOS: Brian Johnson out w/ left shoulder soreness
NYM: Neil Walker forced out due to left leg injury
ATL: Phillips doubles twice in four-hit showing
ATL: Matt Kemp exits with left hamstring tightness
SF: Johnny Cueto coughs up trio of homers in loss
OAK: Report: A's to call up prospect Matt Chapman
LA: Puig suspended one game for flipping bird
SD: Renfroe homers, drives in three against Reds
CLE: Jason Kipnis scratched due to neck spasms
BAL: Chris Davis (oblique) lands on the 10-day DL
CHC: Ben Zobrist (wrist) could be facing DL stint
MIA: Ozuna hits 17th HR, drives in three vs. OAK

First for mests

>CUSBCUSBCUSBCUSBCUSBCUSBCUSBCUSBCUSBCUSBCUSBCUSBCUSBCUSBCUSBCUSBCUSBCUSBCUSBCUSBCUSBCUSBCUSBCUSBCUSBCUSBCUSBCUSBCUSBCUSBCUSBCUSBCUSBCUSBCUSBCUSBCUSBCUSBCUSBCUSBCUSBCUSBCUSBCUSBCUSBCUSBCUSBCUSBCUSBCUSBCUSBCUSBCUSBCUSBCUSBCUSBCUSBCUSBCUSBCUSBCUSBCUSBCUSBCUSBCUSBCUSBCUSBCUSBCUSBCUSBCUSBCUSBCUSBCUSBCUSBCUSBCUSBCUSBCUSBCUSBCUSBCUSBCUSBCUSBCUSBCUSBCUSBCUSBCUSBCUSBCUSBCUSBCUSBCUSBCUSBCUSBCUSBCUSBCUSBCUSBCUSBCUSBCUSBCUSBCUSBCUSBCUSBCUSBCUSBCUSBCUSBCUSBCUSBCUSBCUSBCUSBCUSBCUSBCUSBCUSBCUSBCUSBCUSBCUSBCUSBCUSBCUSBCUSBCUSBCUSBCUSBCUSBCUSBCUSBCUSBCUSBCUSBCUSBCUSBCUSBCUSBCUSBCUSBCUSBCUSBCUSBCUSBCUSBCUSBCUSBCUSBCUSBCUSBCUSBCUSBCUSBCUSBCUSBCUSBCUSBCUSBCUSBCUSBCUSBCUSBCUSBCUSBCUSBCUSBCUSBCUSBCUSBCUSBCUSBCUSBCUSBCUSBCUSBCUSBCUSBCUSBCUSBCUSBCUSBCUSBCUSBCUSBCUSBCUSBCUSBCUSBCUSBCUSBCUSBCUSBCUSBCUSBCUSBCUSBCUSBCUSBCUSBCUSBCUSBCUSBCUSBCUSBCUSBCUSBCUSBCUSBCUSBCUSBCUSBCUSBCUSBCUSBCUSBCUSBCUSBCUSBCUSBCUSBCUSBCUSBCUSBCUSBCUSBCUSBCUSBCUSBCUSBCUSBCUSBCUSBCUSBCUSBCUSBCUSBCUSBCUSBCUSBCUSBCUSBCUSBCUSBCUSBCUSBCUSBCUSBCUSBCUSBCUSBCUSBCUSBCUSBCUSBCUSBCUSBCUSBCUSBCUSBCUSBCUSBCUSBCUSBCUSBCUSBCUSBCUSBCUSBCUSBCUSBCUSBCUSBCUSBCUSBCUSBCUSBCUSBCUSBCUSBCUSBCUSBCUSBCUSBCUSBCUSBCUSBCUSBCUSBCUSBCUSBCUSBCUSBCUSBCUSBCUSBCUSBCUSBCUSBCUSBCUSBCUSBCUSBCUSBCUSBCUSBCUSBCUSBCUSBCUSBCUSBCUSBCUSBCUSBCUSBCUSBCUSBCUSBCUSBCUSBCUSBCUSBCUSBCUSBCUSBCUSBCUSBCUSBCUSBCUSBCUSBCUSBCUSBCUSBCUSBCUSBCUSBCUSBCUSBCUSBCUSBCUSBCUSBCUSBCUSBCUSBCUSBCUSBCUSBCUSBCUSBCUSBCUSBCUSBCUSBCUSBCUSBCUSBCUSBCUSBCUSBCUSBCUSBCUSBCUSBCUSBCUSBCUSBCUSBCUSBCUSBCUSBCUSBCUSBCUSBCUSBCUSBCUSBCUSBCUSBCUSBCUSBCUSBCUSBCUSBCUSBCUSBCUSBCUSBCUSBCUSBCUSBCUSBCUSBCUSBCUSBCUSBCUSBCUSBCUSBCUSBCUSBCUSBCUSBCUSBCUSBCUSBCUSBCUSBCUSBCUSBCUSBCUSBCUSBCUSBCUSBCUSBCUSBCUSBCUSBCUSBCUSBCUSBCUSBCUSBCUSBCUSBCUSBCUSBCUSBCUSBCUSBCUSBCUSBCUSBCUSBCUSBCUSBCUSBCUSBCUSBCUSBCUSBCUSBCUSBCUSBCUSBCUSBCUSBCUSBCUSBCUSBCUSBCUSBCUSBCUSBCUSBCUSBCUSBCUSBCUSBCUSBCUSBCUSBCUSBCUSBCUSBCUSBCUSBCUSBCUSBCUSBCUSBCUSBCUSBCUSBCUSBCUSBCUSBCUSBCUSBCUSBCUSB

Based Dubyah

>CIDF

I've been here since 2003. I'm 47 years old. I can tell you with absolute certainty that DG is the best shitposter that Sup Forums has ever seen.

You can only post in this thread if your team has won a World Series more recently than the Oakland Athletics

This is Dwight Smith Jr.

He has 3 hits today.

We need another event to unify the country like 9/11 did.

In b4 Mariners anime guy, Royals Pants guy, Phillies whatever the fuck that thing is guy and a shit ton of lifelong casual Astros "fans".

oh hey there, Chicago

>The absolute state of chiraq

This is literally the same as winning the World Series to me.

>YFW it happened today and we're going to lynch the media

MARINERS!

>Cruz arguing against a HBP so he can swing instead of taking his base

Good job, Dwight.

F

...

Congrats DSJ
this seems like it will probably be a career highlight for you, good job!

/los-ángeles/

more like Byron BUSTson

Gross. I like Trump but hate the yaks.

But it makes sense how he BTFO of cruz by defending new York

So that's what happened to Adam Dunn

...

Need a stat for strikes with runners on and double-play situations. I'd rather a player strikeout in that situation than hit a grounder.

Stop dude. You are making Los Angeles look even more shit than it is

i'm in favor of expanding by two teams and going to true 5-game round robin for a 155 game schedule and regular season champion

then, seed the top 8 teams in a postseason tournament called the "world series," giving teams the glorious opportunity to win both

dont be stupid

Whi /323/ here?

hit me with a formula or at least some criteria, i'm sure i can make fangraphs spit it out

With 47 days left until the trade deadline, Brad Ausmus is still batting Victor Martinez ahead of J.D. Martinez and Justin Upton

>people were worried about osuna's velocity dipping
>brought it back up to 96/97
>added a cutter

glad he was able to pull through, and Im glad the jays gave him a somewhat long leash

story?

Strikeouts with runners on 1st and/or 2nd with 1 out or less

I don't know about you guys, but if I get on the flight, and the pilot is black, I walk right off that bitch.

no you dont

I thought you were banned BAJP

OK, first I say something to him like "You know, Halloween is X months away" and if he asks what I am talking about THEN I walk off

HEY

*hits 300 home runs*

lmao fuck cuckshaw.

>THEN I walk off

Post yfw a full game is played consisting of only homers walks and strikeouts

>that's a home run

why are new york fields so babby?

no split for number of outs, so this is just Ks with men on

Thats how I try to play The Show

That's a flyout in any NL west park. Even Coors holds that ball

Hi Adam Dunn

Nice

...

well its a good thing he wasnt playing in an NL park then

See you in 3 days.

And thus the "MUH BELLINGER" meme dies

Who is your team?

...

ahahahaha doyers

I don't own or play for a team

Why do they have commercials with Vin Scully talking in them?

All it does is remind me how much I miss him.

Rockies win!

Met's Right field distance is almost dead average, in fact all of their field dimensions are almost completely average

That is a homer in every single NL West stadium except Coors, although it would probably be a homer there due to how Coors just works. Due to the fact it was coming in high (so high right field walls like in AT&T aren;t going to stop it) it is a homer in 27/30 ballparks, potentially 28 if the meme altitude of Coors makes it go further.

tl;dr you are full of shit

Is this the most cerebral pitch-sequence of 2017 ?

RIP that hill at Minute Maid.

>The """""World Champion""""" Cubs just lost two of three to the Mets
season over?

What if Barry Bonds played on the Moon?

Fenway needs torn down and I mean like right fucking now.

rekt

Yes, even with this fucking ump they could not win

He'd die really fast as space suits do not meet MLB regulations

he wouldn't be able to actually join a game; only a handful of men have actually walked on the moon's surface, let alone start a baseball game there

Not reading any of that lol nice essay. Have your carer grade it.

woo!

>Daddy Greinke damage control
just admit you were talking out of your ass, esé

This just in.

Is this the most cerebral pitch-sequence of 2017?

send help pls

They wouldn't be able to build a non-meme stadium on the property so they will never tear Fenway down

>mfw literally somebody has to pan out for us between all the prospects we have

Why not build it somewhere else

>girl I know is working a local minor league baseball game
>gonna bring me a bunch of burgers and dogs afterwards

fuckin eh, having ballpark food delivered to your house is something I would highly recommend

just in case anybody was still "wondering" if the league was juicing the ball

I don't think you understand how probability works

are you going to deliver her a hot dog too?

You going to fuck after you eat?

>Wow I got BTFO
>haha I'm not reading it, I win, kid!

Even in our worst years, somebody panned out. There's no way that with the depth of the Phillies farm, that somebody doesn't become an above average player.
>mfw it's Ranger Suarez

doubtful, I have in the past, but were mostly just friends now and both kind of have our own shit going on. Although it depends if she wants to drink or not, and whether she works tomorrow morning

This is Curtis Granderson. Say something nice about him

Fenway is in the middle of everything, there is literally no better place to build it. It would also cause absolutely massive fan outrage. The only way that stadium is going to be rebuilt is if its taken completely down in a terrorist attack, and even then they'd probably try to replicate the dimensions.

Miller is fucking trash

>the absolute SHITTY of Andrew Miller

>Indian Fielding

FFS he didn't even attempt to touch the bag

Uhhhh why do you have a purse in your locker?

should've traded that bum last week. now no one wants him

My homies sister works at the Dodger stadium parking and she hooks it up with the playoff tickets 5 days before public release. I don't fuck her I just finger her and proofread her labs essays.

>being so shit that Zmac has to bail you out

YES, I CARRY A PURSE

Our rotation is dead but at least our prospects are playing well today.

>don't fuck her I just finger her and proofread her labs essays.

Gonna need a webm of that entire 8th inning of Leaveland defense and run prevention staring with Cuckcisco Lindors epic fielding and Andrew Wieners homer.

>it was 2-2
>its 6-2

thats obviously a toiletries bag with his toothbrush, shaving stuff, etc

...

WS literally broke him

>giving up a HR to 50 year old David Ross