One morning this nun gets up, gets out of bed and starts going about her daily business.
The first nun she sees walks up to her, grinning, and says "you got out of the wrong side of the bed this morning!"
Well the nun is a little bewildered so she just carries on. The next nun she sees walks over to her, grinning, and she also says "you got out of the wrong side of the bed this morning!" and again, not know how to respond she carries on her way.
This happens five more times. The nun doesn't know what the hell's going on, everyone she sees will only say "you got out of the wrong side of the bed this morning!", and she's starting to get annoyed.
Well the next person she sees is the Mother Superior, who starts walking over to her. Before the mother superior can say anything the nun snaps "you better not bloody tell me I got out of the wrong side of the bed this morning!"
The mother superior, a little nonplussed, says "I wasn't going to tell you that at all. I was going to ask why you're wearing the bishop's shoes."
Kevin Thomas
...
Jaxson Morgan
what whinges a lot and is bad at sports
a pom
Sebastian Anderson
I should explain, if someone "got out of the wrong side of the bed", then that means they're in a bad mood.
Dominic Sanders
Scottish mate, we've embraced it. It's the English who believe they'll win everything contrary to all available evidence.
Eli Moore
More of a /lang/ related joke, but here it goes:
WWII. Night. A Russian soldier is standing on guard and he hears noise. He says (in Russian): "Sergei, is that you?" "Ja, ja"
Christopher Gutierrez
Yeah I know that. It's just the joke is pretty old and I expected it's to be a new "le random" version.
Adrian Moore
What does a gypsy boy get for his birthday? Your bicycle.
Nicholas Cruz
Lol
Leo Gonzalez
Mahmoud and Mkombo are in a car, who's driving ? The police
Why is there a lot of shit in front of Belgian stores ? It's written "Push Hard" on the door
What's even sillier than the Swiss Navy ? A belgian Cultural center
What is brown, smells and floats on the water ? Algerians
How do you make a Black girl blush ? You skin her
John Lopez
Who's the hooded archer stealing money from the poor to give it to his banker friends ? Rabbi Hood
What separates men from animals ? The Mediterranean sea
What are the 3 most important holidays for jews ? Roch Achana, Yom Kipour and the summer sales
Evan Fisher
No racist bullying pls thank u
Nolan Morales
Do you know why you don't play chess with a Macedonian? He'll take your king.
Carson Morgan
A Macedonian woman went to Bulgaria. When she came back her husband asked why she was so late. She said "A Bulgarian man got me and started fucking me again and again and again". The husband said "Why didn't you tell him to stop?" She answered "I would, but I don't know the language."
Luis Thompson
www.youtube.com/watch?v=AcE86JmIN3E
Why does this exist McLachlchachn
Lucas Cox
You have to understand, just being able to qualify is kinda unimaginable for us. We're very pessimistic, but not entirely without hope.
Bentley Long
i'm just ribbing with you m8, I know that back in those days haggistan was a decent nation, enough to get Celtic to win a CL in the 1960s
also here's my dad's favorite joke:
Flippy/Argie/(insert former Spanish colony) goes to Spain and orders criadillas (bull testicles). He really likes it and orders another one, but the owner says "We only have one bullfight per day, the criadillas come from the bull that died".
A day later the tourist returns to the restaurant and orders criadillas again. To his surprise they're a lot smaller than usual. He asks the waiter why, and the waiter, nervous, says "Sometimes it's the bull that wins the fight..."
Jose Ortiz
Why are Mexicans such good athletes? Because they are always jumping the fence.
Dylan Fisher
>jokes >racist bullying not user, but this is banter
Daniel Parker
Abhorrent post get truck'd
Ayden Morgan
It's not banter if you take it seriously, Jacques.
Mason Hernandez
So show us how it's done.
Jason Hughes
>It's not banter if you take it seriously, Jacques >taking jokes seriously
Aiden Evans
>be america >get shot Cannot make this up *gold face*
Like this
Andrew Rivera
a group of Jews in Imperial Russia are trying to figure out why they are so hated. their rabbi says "I think the Russians hate us because we don't drink, it makes them think we are weak. So next week when we meet, I want you all to bring in a bottle of vodka. We'll pour it all into a cauldron and drink it until we can drink as well as the Russians! Then they will stop hating us" one of the Jews in the congregation says to his wife "instead of vodka, lets bring in a bottle of water. We'll save some money, and when it's all mixed into the cauldron, no one will be able to tell!" the day comes, and the rabbi collects his flock's bottles of vodka. He mixes them all together, pours a glass, and takes a drink
