PITCHFORK

>someone got paid to write this
>this is the top feature on p4k right now

archive.is/L665r

what did they mean by this?

obsessed

Branching out into buzzfeed/NYT "humor"

neat

pitchfork needs to die already. They're so insufferable

Look at the pathetic excuse of a """""man""""" who wrote it.

Let's break each line of this garbage down step by step since I got some free time to kill before I bang a lofi indie slut from Tinder

>Frank Ocean didn’t invite me to his 30th birthday party

Why does he feel entitled to be invited to his party? Because he writes for a shitty website that overinflates the guy's music? What a faggot

>Charli XCX’s “Boys” video released in the worst year ever to celebrate boys

Fuck men amiright?

>The Dirty Projectors album is like listening to your friend complain about breaking up with someone who was too good for him in the first place

OMG #TEAMAmber was the true talent of Dirty Projectors, support women!!! Shut the fuck up you fat faggot, she had a pretty voice for singing melodies the dude wrote

>Still can’t get my girlfriend to watch “Narcos” even though it was in a SZA song

Beta faggot has a girlfriend he can't even get to watch a TV series with him. BUT LE BLACK ARTIST REFERENCED, PLS WATCH

>Seems like Father John Misty had a good point; still not sure what it is

Soy-boy """""humor""""", ladies and gents. xD father john misty is so wacky!!! but woke

>Lil Yachty told me I look like George Costanza

What a pathetic fuck. Publicly announcing being bullied by a manlet meme rapper

>Impossible to not read St. Vincent album title as MASSEDUCATION

Why the fuck did he include this? Is he really that starved for content halfway through this "feature"

>Ed Sheeran still writing songs about having sex

WHITE MEN SHOULD NOT BE WRITING SONGS ABOUT HAVING SEX. Leave that to Drake yasss

>LCD Soundsystem cover art has Bob Ross rolling in his grave

Le 80's reference, epic

>When Calvin Harris and Taylor Swift broke up, did not expect he would be the one with the jams

Why is this "disappointing"?

>Lana Del Rey’s witchcraft has yet to remove Trump from office

DUDE DRUMPF LMAOOOOOO YASS LANA SLAY

>to be continued....

they've been doing this for years my dude
also using archive.is go back KiA you stupid faggot lmao

That article was shit, but this was an embarrassing read.

>....continued

>Senator Kid Rock not even close to the worst thing I can dream up at this point

But like seriously DRUMPF IS THE WORST

>Princess Nokia hasn’t released a song better than the video of her throwing soup on subway racist

Look, I'm praising someone for fighting racism again! I'm #JWOKE

>Much harder to make fun of Adele for beating Beyoncé at the Grammys than it was Macklemore when he won over Kendrick

This faggot is literally complaining that he can't virtue signal at [insert white artist over black artist] as hard this time because it's not actually warranted.

>Arcade Fire: FAKE NEWS

XFD holy shit DRUMPF destroyed amazing

t. matthew schnipper

Please never continue.

It's weird man. These are like parodies of people.

u must the worst trip in the history of Sup Forums

>...continued

>they've been doing this for years my dude

"My Dude"

Please fuck back off to Reddit, for real, "my dude"

>also using archive.is go back KiA you stupid faggot lmao

XD give Pitchfork the ad revenue they deserve like a good boy!

>Please never continue

Request denied, faggot

>u

so apathetic and low test, amazing

>branching out
>branching

You're about two years late

>you now remember when pitchfork wasn't owned by Condé Nast
A golden age desu

>Fantano testing a new market approach

Can you smell the soy?

post a good p4k article b4 conde nast. never seen one

>feebly complains about misandry
>posts blatant misogyny
I bet you'll put any chemical in your body so long as it comes in the form of a red pill.

>posts blatant misogyny

[citation neeeded]

>calling a woman a slut and bragging about fucking her behind her back

it's funny cuz it's desperate

>posts blatant misogyny

what

Slut is not a negative word, you are making it negative because you are misogynistic. Work on that. I call her a slut and she loves it.

I am proud that I am going to fuck her, nothing misogynistic about that either.

Looks like we got a "nice guy" on our hands here

Reason 489543594 Hillary lost the election

>I call her a slut and she loves it.
>making up shit for attention
Okay. Yeah I call my girlfriend "nigger" and she just loves it.

jfc dude cool it on the racism

Holy shit, you're really revealing your lack of interaction with women.

I've been with multiple girls who like being called "sluts". In fact, tons of girls where chokers with the word written on it. They find it hot, so do I.

I bet you think girls don't like being spanked either? Lay off the soy you fucking retard.

...

Are you literally slutshaming right now?

>I mean, it's an anonymous board. I might as well make shit up. Why not?

your even less funny than he is dude...

...

>g-girls don't like being spanked or called sluts. you-you're making it up! they like NICE guys like me!!

holy shit

Okay.

>BTFO

>the virgin forfeit

i like to eat cock

hashtag colbert 2020 make donald drumpf again yaaaaas queen

i've never had sex desu

Crazium said nigger wtf!!!!!

Nah I just like how you're confirming my suspicions that you're full of shit by staying in this thread despite saying you had a bit of time to post that before getting sum fuk.
>In B4 he takes off his trip and keeps posting to save face
Simply embarrassing. You don't have to lie to yourself, let alone others. Also, I'm sorry Pitchfork rejected your "Funny Writer" application and hired somebody more talented. That must hurt.

everybody below this line is gay

__________________________________

I'm bi, but okay.

That so called "man" is no doubt a cuckolded soy-boy nigger loving faggot. I don't even have to read about him, he works for Bitchfork and looks like a homosexual. Disgusting

Lay off the soy?
More like lay off the fryer juice you fucking pinheaded fucktard. Jesus, you're so fat that it disgusts me, you are repulsive, I guarantee you've never seen pussy. You repulse me so much I would fucking destroy you in a fight in real life you edgy numale fuck. Don't come to Boston

Who the FUCK are you?

holy fuck what kind of women do u date?, that low self-steem lmao

you're putting all the women in the same bag, that stereotype of women is the most stupid m8, is like that women who like 21 pilots and cage the elephant and they think they are cool bc they use clothes who say shit like "don't care" and shit and chokers, you are tiping the 2017 fedora too hard m8

Yo can we get a mod to ban this racist?

fuck off

This guy too. He seems to be in cahoots with the racist

maybe i'm an african american who call my fellow african american's "nigger" just beacuse we love it and we can, but who know's, that's why this is an ANONYMOUS BOARD you retard

>what Is a fetish

This man is also attacking me. Can the mods please ban these racist bigots

Crazium take a chill pill dude

Let me guess, you found this site through Sup Forums in 2015-16. You rely on substances for your 'social life' and try to be knowledgeable about things like music to make up for being an underachiever in school. You say the douchiest things at the most inappropriate times (and without regard for others' feelings) because free speech lmaoooooo. Nearly everyone you interact with hates you. They also know you're a fragile mess behind your bravado and won't criticize you in front of your face. But that's all cool, keep on flexing man. Keep on finding similarly insecure pathetic excuses for women, living free and wild, and hiding away from your problems. You'll totally find happiness with that lifestyle bro.

cest la vie

y r u mad

This could have been way longer

>Bjork releases a meh 7/10 how?
>TSwift makes her worst record
>Eminem had the embarrassing freestyle and made a song that used the word reta****
>Boring Coachella that got stolen by freaking Hans Zimmer

There's probably even more I can't think of.

>Gorrillaz "Humanz"
>Kendrick Lamar goes even more commercial
>Chance "the Rapper" ""saved"" Soundcloud
>Catchmeousside girl charted
>an awful gay boy band hip hop collective is one of the most acclaimed "artists" of the year
>any genre other than hip hop is floating in a pool of it's own rotten vestigial fluids

pretty rough year

cocks but unironically

I've been on Sup Forums since 2007 and am a college graduate and everything you said is way off, sorry mate.

>dating niggers in the first place

>pitchfork
lamo what is this 2004?

I find this type of music journalism to be kind of unethical. Like if you have anything to say regarding an artist, save it for the reviews. Don't make fun of them in this masturbatory fashion and try to pass your site off as a serious music site. The only exception for this would be if the artist has done something bad, but even then the music shouldn't come in to play at all in that case.