PATTON OSWALT HAVING A CUCK-OUT

>So, sixteen days into the reality of Donald Trump being our President-elect, and I'm reading New Yorker and Jacobin and Slate and NY Times articles, trying to make sense of just what the fuck happened, and how the fuck do we go forward. The Democratic Party is in shards on the floor right now. I think we're going to have eight years of Trump and his clean-shaven looters scraping out the carcass of the country before fucking off and blaming it on progressives and lesbians and PC and rap music.

archive.is/EqK7z

Cuck-off bro! You and me!

Other urls found in this thread:

reason.com/archives/2016/11/28/the-liberal-postmortem-on-2016-is-not-go
twitter.com/AnonBabble

>and I'm reading New Yorker and Jacobin and Slate and NY Times articles
>why didn't my biased news sites confirm my biases against Trump
I'll bet he unironically loves Andy Borowitz's unfunny drivel

Why are there no funny right-wing comedians?

>I am terrified for what may or may not happen Saturday, January 21st.

Wow, it's almost as if reading biased newspapers and not hearing other sides of the story gives you a narrow minded political view which leads to confirmation bias on the readers part!

Who would have thought?!

funny cus Patton looks like the white guy that has his head caved in by a cinder block 3 minutes into any given urban chimp-out, but they're always the gimps with their fist raised high in solidarity with their POC/SJW/LGBQTB+ brethren before shit goes down- aren't they?

Fuck it I'm a lefty and I'd say Sam Hyde would be funny, to an extent.

His stand up is pretty cringey at times, and most of his sketches seem to edgy shit for the sake of edgy shit, but he's got a gold ones.

I'd ask the same thing about left-wing comedians. Political humor from either side is never funny, because it's just shit flinging instead of doing what a good comedian should do, which is making fun of both sides.

There are, they just don't typically get shows because liberals at networks/studios will protest it.

CN has made waves by just letting MDE get a short show.

i liked it better in the 90's when comedians didn't feel they had to pick sides.

no wonder his wife left him

like what do all these sky is falling retards think is going to happen?

get off twitter and go about your lives jesus christ

btw >slate

jesus, I read breitbert for hype but I don't take it seriously. at least he didn't say Salon.

These

>blaming it on rap music
Literally who does this in current year?

Also
>reading Slate
I consider myself a Centrist that leans to left more often than not but the trash these fuckers publish is obscenely bad

Fuck this cunt.

That's how it goes down here in Oakland

Does this nigger seriously think he is going to be rounded up when Trunp is elected? Fucking twat.

I don't know many right comedians but there are tons of hilarious right wing people like Michael Malice

>I think we're going to have eight years of Trump and his clean-shaven looters scraping out the carcass of the country before fucking off and blaming it on progressives and lesbians and PC and rap music.

This is probably true though. If Trump and his cabinet massively fuck up he'll just blame the left and/or minority groups even though Republicans will be holding the majority of power in the country. He's already doing it when trying to explain the huge difference in popular vote by blaming illegal immigrants (even though that conspiracy has been debunked all around).

cute!

He's channeling all his pain, anger and sadness into impotent anti Trump tweets.
We should empathize with him and let him work through his grief. None of us can imagine what it would be like to suddenly lose the most important person in your life overnight.

>(even though that conspiracy has been debunked all around)

>poplar vote

They are called pundits. All the have to do is make fun of all the retarded leftist shit in the world.

colbert report proves this isn't true

>Why are there no funny right-wing comedians that make onto the national stage when 90% of the media is controlled by jews and corporate billionaires who depend on a fractured populace that won't notice they're holding 99% of the wealth?

Gee that's a tough one. Guess we'll never know.

Is there any evidence for it whatsoever?
I'm using an example. I personally think the whole thing is silly because whether people like it or not he did win through the rules of the electoral college. If there was a legitimate miscount of votes or hacking that would be another thing entirely. He's the one bringing up the popular vote and trying to blame illegals for not winning there too even though it doesn't matter.

it's fascinating how conservatives manage to explain literally everything with conspiracies. it's so intellectually lazy

>I'm reading New Yorker and Jacobin and Slate and NY Times articles
Well that really explains everything, doesn't it.

Liberals all looking for the answers to why they didn't see this shit coming, in all the wrong places. But Oswalt is not interested in really learning. None of them are.

That would require reflection.

reason.com/archives/2016/11/28/the-liberal-postmortem-on-2016-is-not-go

...

Scared no matter what, damn, that must be ruff

Right-wingers don't need comedy to feel fulfilled or happy, we have families, activities,hobbies and jobs for that.

no there is no evidence whatsoever that voting fraud has taken place in this or any other election

Using ones imagination to explain why things are the way they are is sometimes more satisfying than using logic or facts.

Rupert Murdoch by himself controls enough of the media to employ countless conservative comedians if there were a market for it, if they existed.

>Gee

The mark of a lying, deranged, gullible Sup Forums shill desperately making up some hamfisted vague lie about muh jooz.

>says the Alt Right NEET spending his life in his mother's basement posting on a Cambodian puppetry zine

what do liberals not understand? jewish cultural marxist conspiracies? race realism? why do you think trump massively lost the popular vote? another conspiracy?

DELETE THIS

and screaming about the patriarchy for 5 years is very firing of the cortical columns

lmao post a picture of your fat virgin neet self for me to laugh at

>To aid with the anthropological project, The New York Times recently was kind enough to provide befuddled liberals with a reading list to explain the trumpenproletariat.

>The list begins with "The Unwinding," in which the New Yorker's "George Packer took a wide-angled look at this country's institutions and mores and was appalled by what he found. The book begins like a horror novel, which to some extent it is." Yes, that's just the thing to build empathy and rapport with the folks in flyover country: "America: The Hellhole."

>The reading list also includes works by Thomas Frank, John B. Judis and other liberal stalwarts. Hmmmm. Say you want to understand the mind of the liberal academic. Whom do you ask for insight? If you answered "an Iowa beet farmer," you have a bright future as reading-list editor of The New York Times.

And there is no evidence that illegals are at fault for the disparity in the popular vote.

Jeff Foxworthy.

People who say it's just dumb southern comedy haven't watched a special of him. The man is hilarious.

Its because reality is not funny.

As Oswald needs to accept both his wife and his political party are dead and buried.

*Why are there no funny comedians

Ftfy

I will never understand why faggots like you think that every single person on here is basement dwelling NEET. Is it because you're a failure in life that you must project your own insecurities on to other anons?
Consider suicide.

yes except historically men have actually controlled most major businesses, earned more, discriminated when hiring, etc and there is evidence to support this.
it may be over dramatic to label it a patriarchy, but it sure as shit isn't comparable to the vast global conspiracies right wingers peddle on this site

>smug, reflexive response includes glib denial of what i said, drops a bunch of Sup Forums buzzwords, and ends with a reminder trump
"massively (kek!) lost the popular vote".

the lack of self-awareness, you can't make it up.

I agree, it is mostly blacks who get bussed in inside urban areas. Doesn't matter some can barely read and write, they are apparently entitled to decide the course of the nation.

It needs to go back to only old white guys voting, as the founders intended.

>saying hollywood and mainstream media are overwhelmingly liberal is a conspiracy theory
fucking retard

Trump is a stooge for bringing up that theory about the illegal votes but to be fair the left wing started it with the bragging on popular votes all the time and challenging HIS legitimacy first by saying that the Electoral College didn't matter at all #notmypresident, also the very FACT that Voter picture ID isn't needed to vote makes fraud possible. Also, now Jill Stein put the election into question by her recount claiming that Trump had Russian Hackers (!) rigged the election for him and you know what, Trump might as well get to join the shitshow.

Nah I'm doing alright. I have a career, gf, friends, am in good shape/exercise regularly, and have a close relationship with my family. The one projecting is implying left wingers don't have those things. No need to be so testy m8

Nick DePaolo
Bill Burr
Adam Corolla

>historically men have actually controlled most major businesses, earned more, discriminated when hiring, etc and there is evidence to support this.
>t. salty woman
tits or gtfo

name 2 trump policies you support that don't involve minorities. can you do it?

>conspiracies
LOL you dont even know what that word means do you hahahaha

> lolz just a conspiracy

You're a sheltered retard.

bill burr isnt right wing nor left wing or are you one of those guys he mocks that hears what he wants to hear

do you even listen bro?

keep fighting the good fight user, you'll get those darn jews eventually

>Nah I'm doing alright. I have a career, gf, friends, am in good shape/exercise regularly, and have a close relationship with my family.
Same here, my apologies. I just don't like to be STEREOTYPED

>blaming your failures on black people
>It needs to go back to only old white guys voting, as the founders intended.

kek you're probably one of the people saying Trump one because of liberals calling out people like you for being racist.

>Doesn't matter some can barely read and write, they are apparently entitled to decide the course of the nation.

You could say the same thing about non-college educated rural whites ;^)

>Bill Burr
he said right wing you faggot that means not pussy la cucks

>trump one

fuck yeah, rename it to that.

what does that have to do with anything. i didn't vote for the man, if that's what you're implying.

Trump is interesting because he has an ex-Cato CEO on his Treasury shortlist, and he's vital because the last thing the Supreme Court needed was a liberal majority.

No Sup Forums type "person" has the intellect to become a comedian or anything else, which is obviously what you're looking for. In a decent world you'd be fed to plants, you're not going to find comedy tailored to you.