Does anyone have the guide to avoiding the no singles policy?

Does anyone have the guide to avoiding the no singles policy?

>Be amerifat
>Can't enjoy films single

BRING YOUR CINEMA FALCON!

Find a theater where they have mandatory penis inspection for single customers.

It feels pretty wierd at the first time, but you will get used to it.

just say youre there only for the crab legs

Why would you want that? Are you afraid of dubs you pussy?

Just use the theatre showers, as long as you don't smell like shit they usually don't mind if you're on your own.

Find a kid in the parking lot and demand they see the movie with you. You can offer them free popcorn with your rewards bucket, or you can just buy some candy for them at the nearby CVS

Bring your younger sister along so that she can pretend to be your gf, and then hope that the Mimichorn doesn't go off at an inconvenient time.

>mfw people actually think this meme is real

>implying

Kids make me nervous and going with my mom or dad is embarrassing at the age of twenty.

Then ask a woman on a date and when you're there say you forgot your wallet.

>Be third world shitskin
>Fall for stupid memes and suck the cock of American culture daily while crying about America on an American imageboard made for Americans by an American

What is the Mimichorn?

>American imageboard
>Not Dutch-Irish gardening board

>American imageboard made for Americans by an American
You're mentally challenged, eh? Should'ev known..

>go to the theater to see Army Dog
>bring my younger sister along, so she can pretend to be my girlfriend because of the no-singles policy
>I hand the cashier my gift card and she spins the wheel of fortune
>we end up getting wine and grilled vegetables, not bad
>the movie starts
>I like the visuals and the general atmosphere of the film
>but then, the brutal ten minute rape scene comes up, and just when this happens, the Mimichorn goes off
>men are wrestling with their girlfriends and wives, who are pretending to resist while their men tear of their pants
>me and my sister are feeling pretty awkward at this point, and people are starting to notice our violation of the theater etiquette
>"Fight me", I urge my sister, as I hurl her on the floor
>she's screaming and kicking me, giving a very good performance
>however, her feeble body is no match for my physique chiseled by tons and tons of iron at the gym and I easily overpower her
>I rip of her pants and plunge my manhood into her unbesmirched vulva
>I ejaculate like Mount Vesuvius
>finally the Mimichorn goes off again, and the couples return to their seats
>my sister is crying
>when the movie ends, we are rewarded with the trophy for the best act
>the overseer was very pleased, and he personally shakes both our hands when he gives us the trophy on the door
>the movie was 9.5/10, I'd rate it kino

How many times did you get shot while writing that?

None, how many times did your female family members get culturally enriched while writing that?

>go to Klingon opera
>No Dishonor policy
>didn't bring my Norpin Falcon
>ticket ripper growling at me. Rumor has it he doesn't just rip tickets
>forgot about the mandatory ridge inspection

bump.