policies you wish your local would implement
>singles only night
>blanket night where they set the ac to minus zero
>warning signal appears onscreen to notify theres no action coming up, its the beginning of a boring dialogue scene and now is the perfect time to pee or grab snacks
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The cinema isn't your fucking dating app.
>minus zero
all films should have an intermission for peeing and refilling beverages
I agree about the temp. It should be very cold so I can wear my comfy clothing
>minus zero
Pay a little extra money and you can go skinny-dipping with fellow theatre-goers in a large pool of popcorn and butter near the front.
They have that in Switzerland. 10min break to grab a beer.
crab legs are free on thursdays
pepsi products instead of coke
Beat it, pinko.
I hate it when it stops right in the middle of a line of dialogue though. Happens far too often.
A better dog park where I can leave my old girl safely. Also extra butter on my popcorn under $5 a squirt would be nice.
>policies you wish your local would implement
No more mandatory showers during the interval.
NEET Night. Only NEETs allowed.
How do you enforce that?
they don't have an actual person doing it?
sounds dumb
No, I'm pretty sure it's just set to stop at roughly the halfway point. I've even had it stop right in the middle of a word a couple of times.
Have them let the cinema know their work/education status prior to the screening. The cinema can check the authenticity themselves. NEETs get free entry, non-NEETS have to pay double and are capped to a smaller number.
full body inspection to check for virginity
>policies you wish your local would implement
Masturbation showings. I.E. certain showings where it is okay to whip out cock and masturbate if you want. No cumming on the floor or seats, tho.
>No cumming on the floor or seats, tho.
what, are you gonna have an employee in charge of watching people jack off?
absolutely no food
Oh wait, my preferred film theatre already has this rule. No ignoramuses munching on crunchy loud food killing the mood. It's not a normal commercial cinema though.
Just a general rule, like no littering. Just be considerate. I mean, if they happen to see it happening, they can throw you out.
Not when your mom will do it for free
>policies you wish your local would implement
Once the lights go down, if you speak at all, use your phone, or have a crying kid, you are immediately taken out back and shot in the head (and your kid, too)
Don't harass the bed bugs.
complete ban on smartwatches
why would it be at night?
neet time to go to movies are weekday matinees when school is in, only retirees and neets then
I don't know where all the wageslaves are during the day, but they aren't at the movies
>singles only night
We don't care about your everyday life.
>minus zero
Your shit's all retarded
>warning signals for ADD kiddies
Confirmed baitpost
Over 16s only (even in select showings of films with a low age rating)
large groups of rowdy disruptive children can be a problem when the staff refuse to deal with it (i.e. always)
>I don't know where all the wageslaves are during the day, but they aren't at the movies
Wage slaves can work 2nd and 3rd shift, too, dumbfuck.
You don't love the sound of retards crunching food for the first 15 minutes of a movie? Weird.
free black night
once a week let black people in for free, set it up so they can use food stamps at the concession
only play movies blacks will like and encourage yelling at the screen
people that like blacks will go, people that don't will know 6/7 days a week there probably wont be any
>smart watches
I didn't know these were still a thing.
but the matinée is when i go to bed and the afternoon is when i wake up
Aka no one turns up night
>minus zero
>went to see Arrival
>2:30 on a Wednesday
>only me and two couples in their 50's
>start clapping at the end for the bantz
>one of guys joins in with a short and polite applause
>mfw
kekd
It's literally your dna, they can and will track you down
Everyone else is banned so NEETs are free to be left in peace.
so a private jizz investigator then?
yeah he's a private dick
do you have to give them dna samples when you go watch a kino so they can compare it to the cum left on the floor?
>tfw a thread is slowly evolving into anvil/falcon posting
you wish, reddit.
girls can't wear socks, but not allowed in if fat or not pedicured
BBC bull provided to white couples
white girls not allowed to be on birth control
white males have their chastity cage inspected at the door
I do. It's been too long since there was one of those threads.
yeah, almost 30 seconds
> he genuinely thought this was going to be funny when he typed it
Nah. Those threads have always sucked ass. There was never anything funny about them
They were unfunny as fuck.
>NEET Night. Only NEETs allowed.
They have that it is called Sensory Friendly Movies and they show them at 1030 am on saturdays
the will smith/kstew thread went down, no cuck containment
What does this even mean?
What does that mean?
delete this
Kill me, Pete
He wants epic memes to screencap and post on /r/Sup Forums.
>What does that mean?
since you too tarded to type Sensory Friendly Movies
youtube.com
I always bring my gameboy and play it in the boring talking parts
That sounds like a nightmare. Good for those autists, I guess.
Can someone give me a ride?
>that comfy autistic pupper at 1:00
Paddington gets two mittens up I guess
WE
>people this retarded exist
Why should I ever want to kill myself when it should be this kind of trash to rightfully burn first?
How the fuck is letting the autistic kids scream and jump around a "sensory friendly" experience?