Harry Potter /hp/ General

Rowling is a Hack Edition
>Be JK Rowling
>Create Harry and Hermione
>Write characters with awesome chemistry
>Similar backgrounds, both raised by muggles
>Undying loyalty to one another
>Not once do they abandon one another
>Contrary to the meme, both cared about their magical education
>Major theme of the story is how Harry's love conquers Voldemort's blind ambition
>Could have written awesome parallel between James and Lily and Harry and Hermione
>Hermione is literaly Lily
>Harry looks just like James
>pottery
>Could have had bad ass couple killing death eaters and learning cool magic
>Would have been the ultimate Wand Kino
>Instead write shitty romance and pairing Harry and Hermione with "muh Weasleys" creating unnecessary and distracting angst in the series
>tfw what could have been

Rowling is a Hack, what do you anons think?

Other urls found in this thread:

strawpoll.me/11011400
twitter.com/NSFWRedditGif

Take it to "dragon lady"

inb4 "Dullest Franchise" Maymay

>pottery
You don't say..

It is, dare I say, without adoubt, one of the dullest franchise in the history of movie franchises secret from everyone. Seriously each episode following the boy wizard and his pals from Hogwarts Academy as they fight assorted villains has been indistinguishable from the others. Aside from the gloomy imagery, the series’ only consistency has been its lack of excitement and ineffective use of special effects, all to make magic unmagical, to make action seem inert.

Perhaps the die was cast when Rowling vetoed the idea of Spielberg directing the series; she made sure the series would never be mistaken for a work of art that meant anything to anybody?just ridiculously profitable cross-promotion for her books. The Harry Potter series might be anti-Christian (or not), but it’s certainly the anti-James Bond series in its refusal of wonder, beauty and excitement. No one wants to face that fact. Now, thankfully, they no longer have to.

>a-at least the books were good though
"No!"
The writing is dreadful; the book was terrible. As I read, I noticed that every time a character went for a walk, the author wrote instead that the character "stretched his legs."

I began marking on the back of an envelope every time that phrase was repeated. I stopped only after I had marked the envelope several dozen times. I was incredulous. Rowling's mind is so governed by cliches and dead metaphors that she has no other style of writing. Later I read a lavish, loving review of Harry Potter by the same Stephen King. He wrote something to the effect of, "If these kids are reading Harry Potter at 11 or 12, then when they get older they will go on to read Stephen King." And he was quite right. He was not being ironic. When you read "Harry Potter" you are, in fact, trained to read Stephen King.

Do you use a bot to post this so quickly and consistently? Serious question

I love these, you're right about Harry Potter, but you have pleb taste in literature

>less than 31 days until 2017
>people are STILL, S T I L L bitching that Hermione and Harry didn't get together
I drink your tears

Even Rowling admitted pairing Ron and Hermione was a giant mistake

>I drink your tears friendo

>Even Rowling admitted pairing Ron and Hermione was a giant mistake
where

Why didn't Harry fuck Hermione?

Google it mate, she did an interview a couple of years ago and it's on a million websites (CNN, BBC, etc)

This is the only question my man, they were perfect for one another

I think it's at least better than one of the dullest shitposts in the history of Sup Forums shitposts. Each shitpost following /lit/ NEETs and their pals from /r9k/ as they fight assorted kinographers has been indistinguishable from the others. Aside from the lack of film analysis the shitpost's only consistency has been its lack of excitement and ineffective use of images and pasta to make fantasy unfantastical, to make witchcraft seem plebeian.

Perhaps the die was cast when Quentin vetoed the idea of shitposting on /lit/. Posting the pasta on Sup Forums, he made sure it would never be mistaken for a work of art that meant anything to anybody, just ridiculously profitable cross-promotion for his (You)s. The shitpost might be anti-Christian (or not), but it’s certainly anti-intellectual in its refusal of critique and watching for the plot. No one wants to face that fact. Now, thankfully, they no longer have to.

>a-at least the shitposts are funny though
"No!"

The writing is dreadful; the main text is terrible and the troll jpg isn't much better. As I read, I noticed that every time he shitposts, Quentin writes that "Atlas Shrugged is a God-tier form of art."

I began marking on the back of an envelope every time that shitpost was repeated. I stopped only after I had marked the envelope several hundred thousand times. I was incredulous. The shitposter's mind is so governed by spamming and repetition that he has no other style of writing. Later I read a lavish, loving review of the shitpost by the same Stephen King. He wrote something to the effect of: "If these kids are shitposting at 11 or 12, then when they get older they will go on to read Stephen King." And he was quite right. He was not being ironic. When you shitpost you are, in fact, trained to read Stephen King.

but then who would Ron have gotten with?

More than 1 person posts that garbage and they even discuss which trash book they should have for bait in the top tier.

Pretty sure it's multiple people at this point. I'm actually thinking about joining in.

Honestly, he could have gotten together with anyone. Didn't even need to be a character previously introduced.

I enjoy these threads, but I honestly enjoy the pasta just for the custom introduction they add every time.

at this point it wouldn't be a real Sup Forums Harry Potter thread without that pasta

You botched the intro you illiterate retard

does anyone even fall for this pasta anymore?

>multiple autists
>one autist neet
god damn

>Rowling killed off Lavender Brown just to fuck with shippers

>shippers
at this point you mean 4channers

Did she die? I don't recall that, did it happen during the final battle?

she died of her wounds after the battle

her "feeble stirring" never got better. RIP

Damn didn't realize that.

>Press F to Pay Respects to HP Semen Demon

>you will never attend Hogwarts

I got interested in HP much before I started looking girls. Friendship is much more important factor in everyone's looking HP.

>it's your first day at Hogwarts
>board the train, cross the moat
>enter the Great Hall, see the ceiling full of stars, the magically refilling plates, and the floating candles
>hear the Hat sing
>line up for sorting
>oh_boy.jpg
>it's your turn
>sit on the stool
>the Hat gets placed on your head
>after a moment of deliberation, it purses it's lips
>shouts out a single word:
>HUFFLEPUFF
what do?

Good. I wouldn't want to be part of some SJW womenchild meme dream.
>star wars meme
But then again we already know what mindset you're in LOL

>Harry and Hermione
>awesome chemistry

Nigga Harry got sick and tired of Hermione every time they hung out alone, except for the camping trip.

She can't be a hack because she's adding tons of black people to the setting, that's Progressive

F

Joke's on you, I took the test and got into Ravenclaw first, Slytherin second, just like anyone rational and sane would want.

>2017
>not chilling in a tower looking down on your peers

Right, at the end of the story when they potentially could have ended up together. That's when their chemistry was at its height and could have led to something more.

>all this shipping
YOU ALL NEED TO GO BACK

And it immediately went away when Ron showed up again because it only existed in a vacuum. It was a last man/woman on earth deal.

I got sorted into Ravenclaw as well, but I expected Slytherin. What's the difference between the two? Ravenclaw just seems like an autistic, stoic Slytherin.

slytherins aren't necessarily that book-smart. they can't do shit like crank out math problems in their head like a calculator, or recite trivia on the fly like they've got an encyclopedia plugged into their brain. that's not to say that they're stupid, they just aren't geniuses like Ravenclaws are.

what they do have in spades is talent in manipulating people into doing what they want, or how to game the system into benefiting them. they're natural leaders, but not in the sense that Gryffindors are, who lead by inspiring confidence and unity. Slytherins lead by being sneaky as fucc, like a politician would, instead of a soldier.

Is agree with that, but based on what Rowling has said in various interviews, she was purposely forcing the Ron/Hermione meme and wouldn't let herself think of any possibilities. She has later regretted that and said that. She said it was "wish fulfillment" on her part and she regrets it. You can even tell how forced and untatural all of the romances feel in the last two books as evidence of this.

strawpoll.me/11011400

Vote in the proper strawpoll, the one taken the last week is a joke having Goblet of Fire on second place. Even the summer poll is less summer than that trollop

Thanks for correcting the record, star wars 7Reddit.

Go back to lit you bookfag, Harry was a shit tier book character.

I hate star wars episode 7 you ad hominem faggot

Id

Azkaban was the height of Wand Kino and it's no contest

>Rowling clarified that Ron and Hermione would have had to undergo relationship counseling
top pip

Hey everyone this shitposter is in every single HP thread and he doesnt even like HP. You can trigger him easily. Look how he cant help himself. Yet he thinks Goblet of Fire is good. Sad!

I dunno I really like Deathly Hallows pt1

Wandkino can be different. Azkaban is the best of course though.

That was her shilling to the SJWs on tumblr because they aped out about their Ron/Hermione pairing being destroyed.

Like I said bud
>Thanks for correcting the record, star wars 7Reddit.

was Tumblr even around when Deathly Hallows released? I don't remember

Deahtly hallows part 1 is underrated as hell, as is HBP

>bud
Actually I mean neet :^)

>HP movies drop all the cool spell effects after movie 2 and make everything look like generic muzzle flashes
does this REALLY bother anyone else, or is it just me?

Anything is better after the first two.

Maybe, but it was when that interview dropped. Tumblr could stand the idea of Hermione being with someone as competent as her, thus they like Ron.

Ron is such an underrated character in the books, it's a damn shame how useless they made him in the movies

Couldn't*

He's also a fedora loser who polices the board, he has no spare time for a life

>You can trigger him easily. Look how he cant help himself
Wait are we talking about the Emma Watson waifuist pleb? The one that will literally sit there for 10+ hours or however long a thread about her lasts defending her from even the smallest criticism, you know? Spamming "ecksdee best emma triggers Sup Forums"

I don't know user, I couldn't stand him in the books either. He was very witty for sure, but the whole idea of one big Weasley family got real tired after three books or so, and he was a big contributor to that.

Well yeah, the timeskip was a total mistake. It should have been let up to the reader whether any of the high-school romances actually worked out in the end, instead of canonically pairing everyone off with their school crushes in a true love type deal.

He's still going, he has autism though so I forgive him and actually wish him the best. The best meaning he has a time where he doesnt come to HP threads to shitpost about many people liking something he doesnt.

Me too user, patrician taste, for the few not the many.

>the subtle ringing noise that gets steadily louder whenever the Horcrux influences people's moods
10/10

Well, user? I'd really like to know if we're talking about the same person, but you're doing that thing where you reply to yourself pretending you're someone else while ignoring the part where you've been stomped :^)

Maybe you can say korinefag?

This is the correct answer above all user. The main thing people forget is that the canonical pairings are really the first real relationships any of those characters experience. That coupled with incompatibilities and the relationships being "high school" do not lend them to working out long term. Writing that epilogue was the worst decision Rowling ever made.

Hell, with Harry and Ginny he's her very first crush. The dynamic between them would be all kinds of fucked.

Reminder that Lilly was white trash who married the school bully and got knocked up before she was 20

>not the picture with Kanye West and Clifford
Disappointing. I was hoping over time the books would slowly be swapped out with more and more stupid shit

The atmosphere and tension is just so chewy. I love how stripped and grim it, along with azkaban it really captured the tone of the book the most. I love a lot of the scenes.

And yea fantastic sound design throughout, editing, extremely well shot acted and tightly directed. Very good sad climax that goes along with the themes of the film and the book. Standalone its very satisfying and as part of the series and as penultimate entry its even moreso hard hitting for subverting the previous style

C-can I join too?

>Slytherins lead by being sneaky as fucc, like a politician would

>whole school gathered around a crime scene with a note saying the Chamber of Secrets has been opened
>"YOU'LL BE NEXT, MUDBLOODS!"

Slytherins were a bunch of dumb brutes with no redeeming features. All their successes came from having money and being part of a minority "in group" with power that always looks after its own. Slytherins were more Jewish than Goblins, a race of greedy, lying, big-nosed subhumans created specifically as a shot at Jews.

Yay autism!

I didn't like it how out-of-order all the material in the Azkaban movie was, it triggered me pretty hard

part 2 was such a fuckup in comparison to part 1, I was pretty shocked

Y-you too

>what do?
relax knowing I'll spend the next few years with the nicest and most chill house.

Of course! Only redditors and neo/lit/(aka tumblr) likes this hogwash.

give me your Hogsmeade money, nerd

t. Gryffindor

What do you mean, the transitions? Or the direction? I quite like the film, harry did have jeans and adidas on the cover of the book.

I don't look to the book to judge the movies though they are standalone or complementary. I though Cuaron did a great job, shame he didnt do goblet of fire but the problems were probably inherent to the script in that in moreso, so him doing it still might not have been as good as it could have been

I originally found part 2 to be one of my least favorite, but on a rewatch I like it better. But yea it was totally different from part 1, very adrenaline and fast paced which is okay. It just proves how even more rushed doing one single film would have been. I appreciate the different vibes in all the films though

they fucked up the ending of part 2 so hard

>Voldemort doesn't fall to the ground with a thud
>instead he gets a super special snowflake death where he dissolves into mist
you fucking absolute retards, that was super fucking goddamn important, it was the whole fucking point. leaving that out is the equivalent of having Frodo casually toss the ring into Mt. Doom of his own free will

>they can't do shit like crank out math problems in their head like a calculator, or recite trivia on the fly like they've got an encyclopedia plugged into their brain. that's not to say that they're stupid, they just aren't geniuses like Ravenclaws are.
I don't think Ravenclaws are necessarily "geniuses" either. If they were they'd do better in the house cup but usually come third. I think it's more they're the introverted, bookish types who like to keep out of things

She had some billions worth of knack, unlike one of the dullest shitposts in the history of Sup Forums shitposts. Each shitpost following /lit/ NEETs and their pals from /r9k/ as they fight assorted kinographers has been indistinguishable from the others. Aside from the lack of film analysis the shitpost's only consistency has been its lack of excitement and ineffective use of images and pasta to make fantasy unfantastical, to make witchcraft seem plebeian.

Perhaps the die was cast when Quentin vetoed the idea of shitposting on /lit/. Posting the pasta on Sup Forums, he made sure it would never be mistaken for a work of art that meant anything to anybody, just ridiculously profitable cross-promotion for his (You)s. The shitpost might be anti-Christian (or not), but it’s certainly anti-intellectual in its refusal of critique and watching for the plot. No one wants to face that fact. Now, thankfully, they no longer have to.

>a-at least the shitposts are funny though
"No!"

The writing is dreadful; the main text is terrible and the troll jpg isn't much better. As I read, I noticed that every time he shitposts, Quentin writes that "Atlas Shrugged is a God-tier form of art."

I began marking on the back of an envelope every time that shitpost was repeated. I stopped only after I had marked the envelope several hundred thousand times. I was incredulous. The shitposter's mind is so governed by spamming and repetition that he has no other style of writing. Later I read a lavish, loving review of the shitpost by the same Stephen King. He wrote something to the effect of: "If these kids are shitposting at 11 or 12, then when they get older they will go on to read Stephen King." And he was quite right. He was not being ironic. When you shitpost you are, in fact, trained to read Stephen King.

they don't do well in the house cup because winning the house cup isn't necessarily about being the best, it's being the best at playing the game

that's why Slytherin usually wins

Ravenclaw confirmed as "Smart but Lazy: The House"

They fucking ship her with Malfoy. It's the biggest hetero pairing in the HP fandom.

Slytherin wins because Snape takes points from other houses for blinking too loudly and all of the other Heads of House are unwilling to completely trivialize the whole points system like that. If there was even one teacher in that school who gave a proper shit, all of Snape's favoritism would be countered by giving the other three houses points for general cleanliness and Slytherins would be losing points for having offensive birthdays.

Honestly doesnt bother me. Sure its well done in the book but things like dumbledore death for example i thought translated on screen very well.

I guess what they might have been going for was that voldemort was so little of a man and soul that he had no body essentially due to his witchcraft. The epilogue scene doesnt bother me too much but i dont like it, apparently they changed it though and originally shot a different scene entirely and with prosthetics.

I think the film ends the best at the bridge scene with them holding hands, actually almost got emotional over it the last time I watched it. Since they decided to focus on the trio so much it works well as an ending to me

>all of this unsubstantiated propaganda
butthurt Gryffindor please

i dont know why the movies cut out all the bits of voldemorts backstory, he's just some big baddie evil guy in the movies and that's about it

>Malfoy/Hermione is the biggest hetero pairing in the HP fandom
??????????????????

Because go read the book if you want the book m8. He has enough backstory to make him interesting either way. Movies have different necessities you cant just include everything. Even if these films were longer than LoTR doesnt mean they are better. And they still would have missed things. Even the three hour cut of OOTP would have missed things and pissed people off. So the original cut might be better.

Your head of house was a cuck and he couldnt stop taking points away from Hermione every day just because she actually wanted to answer his loaded questions and converse with him.

>tfw people won't stop making fun of your name
just another day in the life of Albus Severus Potter

Slughorn isn't a cuck and really liked Hermione

how does Sup Forums feel about Neville Longbottom?

I don't get why they completely ruined Grindelwald by having him just tell Voldemort everything, instead of laughing in his face and telling him he never feared death nor let it rule his life like Voldemort did. There was literally no reason to change it. It hardly even slim-lined the story and they had TWO movies to get the story out.