"Hey user, I'm ready for our movie date!"

>"Hey user, I'm ready for our movie date!"

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nah. taking mom to see [mom bangs teens].
next time may be

>you can't hold her hand in the movies because her falcon is perched there

Fucking cockblocking birds

Uhh, you don't get to bring friends.

going to the theater with your mom is kino

Sorry, but the girl will have to wait outside.

I'm feeling a bit peckish

>Her falcon is bigger than mine

Ahahahahahh

I'm almost the male version of this except my bird is way smaller
People are asking me what I'm doing over Christmas because my family lives too far away to visit and work has shut down and I'm too embarrassed to tell them I'm watching movies, series and anime that I've added to my backlog over the semester and drinking with my birdbro

that's a big bird

BRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAP

Hold her other hand?

You'll pull back a bloody nub. Falcons are VERY protective.

it's an eagle that's why it's bigger

karate kid 3 or birdemic

>drinking with my birdbro

I just want to be completely certain of your meaning here. Are you giving quantities of liquor to the bird and does it drink the stuff with apparent enjoyment?

>I'm ready for our date user! wait are you wearing cargo pants?

She can pull my bloody nub any day, if ya catch my drift ;)

My mom gave me a bj when I took her to the movies, so yeah I agree

I keep tendies in the pockets. Why are you dressed like a dyke?

W-w--well they zip off into cargo shorts..

No I'm wearing skinny jeans like always you fucking dumb slut

>it's an eagle
Are those allowed in the theater though? I mean I know some places don't allow me bring my anvil. But I would be pissed off if they allowed others to bring in some overgrown wanna-be falcon.

Lol you think I need women anymore? I'm a stalwart man who relies only on logic

...

DELET THIS

I do not. Alcohol is bad for birds. His previous owner, my previous housemate, used to let him taste his booze and he'd go feral for a short while and try to claim the bottle or glass though. If it weren't neglect at best and abuse at worst, and the little fucker didn't get so mean he'd draw blood on anyone who came near his drink, it would have been funny

>coddling women

Hello newshit

>Are those allowed in the theater though?
There's a special rack over by the shovers. You can't take eagles to the auditorium cause they cause abnormal levels of clapping.

nonce

Did your father not teach you to respect women, or in the least basic manners?

youtube.com/watch?v=-9PbYxVqN1w

Why did they kick me out for wearing my kino hat? I tried explaining it was to calm down my bird of prey

that's obviously a golden eagle you retard

Keep up the defense, maybe they will sleep with you cuck

Oh I assure you I do great with the ladies, hence the manners thing, you pathetic waste of oxygen.

Sorry, I just got off work.

It's amazing that the hat appears to be some sort of specially designed garment for getting birds of prey to ejaculate on.

>people love other people that are mean, rude, and bitter! Trust man i get tons of pussy!

You are deluding yourself, neckbeard.

Please save us brave maidens from the meany

Do you think a date would find it weird that I bring butter from home for my crab legs? The yellow liquid they use for the popcorn just doesn't taste as good to me.

I'm sorry wasn't paying attention what did you say?

...

>take ledecky on a movie date
>somehow end up in a pool
>break 12 world records in the process

report for spamming

that was my first post today ;_;

I'm sorry but they don't allow EAGLES on the theater

You're waifu a shit

great, already being rude huh? ;_;

implying my theatre doesn't have a complimentary falcon roost and a crab leg buffet

This hoe in for a good time. Bet she doesn't even have cinema snakes where she's from, bitches love cinema snakes

Okay, can you please give me my falcon? She really wants to go and see the new Werner Herzhog.