Was this Kino?

Was this Kino?

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No, it was just a spin off of one of the most dullest franchises ever made

There is a part where Johnny Depp appears and you are supposed to take it 100% serious

I don't know, you tell me man

Absolutely not. But then again what kind of quality did you really expect considering it was created by J.K. Rowling, author of Harry Potter which was easily one of the dullest franchises in the history of movie franchises. Each episode following the boy wizard and his pals from Hogwarts Academy as they fight assorted villains has been indistinguishable from the others. Aside from the gloomy imagery, the series’ only consistency has been its lack of excitement and ineffective use of special effects, all to make magic unmagical, to make action seem inert.

Perhaps the die was cast when Rowling vetoed the idea of Spielberg directing the series; she made sure the series would never be mistaken for a work of art that meant anything to anybody?just ridiculously profitable cross-promotion for her books. The Harry Potter series might be anti-Christian (or not), but it’s certainly the anti-James Bond series in its refusal of wonder, beauty and excitement. No one wants to face that fact. Now, thankfully, they no longer have to.

>a-at least the books were good though
"No!"
The writing is dreadful; the book was terrible. As I read, I noticed that every time a character went for a walk, the author wrote instead that the character "stretched his legs."

I began marking on the back of an envelope every time that phrase was repeated. I stopped only after I had marked the envelope several dozen times. I was incredulous. Rowling's mind is so governed by cliches and dead metaphors that she has no other style of writing. Later I read a lavish, loving review of Harry Potter by the same Stephen King. He wrote something to the effect of, "If these kids are reading Harry Potter at 11 or 12, then when they get older they will go on to read Stephen King." And he was quite right. He was not being ironic. When you read "Harry Potter" you are, in fact, trained to read Stephen King.

It's geek culture oriented and can therefore not be considered art. So no, it's not kino.

>dreadful
Who the fuck talks like this

>if geeks like it, it's bad
Categorically false.

Prove it.

seems like someone got buthurt over the truth

Geek spotted

Eddie is so extremely cute

An user posted a picture one time of all the wb intros to Harry Potter

At first it was very cheery and holiday like and towards the end it just became the dreariest shit. It really shows the state of that studio

>imgur.com/a/4z1bJ
It's not gay if he's wearing a dress tbqh

>doesn't know the difference between geeks and nerds

I think he's really creepy looking.

THE GREAT DEBATE

Queenie is god tier.
Teenie is pig disgusting.
If you think otherwise you're a homosexual numale autist like Newt.

This guy singlehandedly brought this movie from a 4/10 to a 7/10

One on the left has a steady job, fun, a but stuck-up. Solid 7/10.

One on the right is a solid 9/10 (10/10 if you're into smaller boobs) but she an read minds.

DEBATE INDEED.

This. End of story, there's no debate.

Can't blame then for that. Blame Rowling for MUH MATURITY

Neither. They're too tall

>you will never brutally rape him while he makes autistic noises and begs for his animals to come save him

jdimsa

Probably my favorite of the franchise. I liked the books, but thought little of the films. It's nice to see a proper spin-off that has little to do with the original series.

My major beef with this movie is how they handled Grindelvald. Having Graves be Grindelvald in disguise was unnecessary. Graves could have easily been one of Grindelvald's allies in America who believed in "the Greater Good". Also, Depp looked fucking stupid and is not nearly as good of an actor as Farrell is.

>promote how the movie is going to be all about these fantastical creatures
>make a wizard zoologist your lead
>it's actually about dark wizards and abused children, the whole magical creature thing is tacked on

What did JK mean by this?

I'm starting to think that she's an edgy 14 year old at heart. She's incapable of writing anything without absolutely needless grimdark.

>What did JK mean by this?
That she signed on to make a movie about Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find them then realized how boring that was so she made a Grinelwald movie -which is what she should have done in the first place- and then tacked on Newt.

A lot of sex scenes are unnecessary, but Fantastic Beasts needed one in which he fucking plows Queenie. Since she can read his mind, she experiences double the pleasure and it breaks her mind and moves in with him to become his fucktoy

Horrible

Except that wouldn't have been boring, faggot.

Imagine how comfy it would've been to watch a movie about Newt as some magical crocodile hunter type character, tracking down the rarest and most dangerous beasts around the world. But you're 14 years old, so you can't appreciate anything unless it has explosions and le big bad evil dude waving his dick around.

>implying she wouldn't break his mind first
>implying she wouldn't turn him into a walking dildo

Why the heck won't they make a comfy workplace Harry Potter tv series about some tiny and quirky Ministry of Magic department? It would be a guaranteed hit and be so goddamn comfy.

My femdom fetish likes this. Queenie seems too nice to completely objectify him like that though. She'd play the switch and allow her mind to break once in a while.

>comfy

I just kept thinking about the ping pong movie he was in and laughing. He was the same well meaning fool.

Him and Queenie were the best part of the film. I don't think I've ever said this about a blockbuster before, but their relationship was the best part of the film.

I agree 100%, actually.

Must be so awful for Newt. I imagine Jacob would tell him about all the mindblowing fucking, while Newt is stuck having sex in the missionary position with the lights off for the sole purpose of procreation for the rest of his life.

More like it was going to be fantastic beasts only but then das juden decided to make it a full franchise so they had to tack on something to make sequels out of. which is why the grindelwald shit feels forced and awkward and separate from the rest of the movie

Did Amber Heard actually suck his life force out?

I recall Eddie saying that most of the cast thought for the longest time that it would just be a mockumentary about Newt's life.

The nose strikes again.

>implying Newt would give a shit

He'd think Queenie and Jacob were deviants for having sex for pleasure. He'd also freak out when he discovers that Queenie is teaching Jacob rudimentary sex magick so he doesn't feel left out

This movie blew me away. It wasn't perfect, but I expected a 2/10 cash grab, and it ended up being better than any of the Harry Potter movies. Kowalski and Queenie are based. Even Newt was somewhat interesting, especially how autistic he was.

this
quads confirm

I imagine Newt would be autistic enough to enjoy getting mounted by his animals. How else would he know exactly how to attract the Erumpent?

Meanwhile, Jacob becomes the first muggle to learn magic, but he uses it exclusively to make Queenie cum spontaneously in public places.

They were an absolute delight.

Newt was a fun character too. Adorably autistic. Imagine how cute he was when he was taking part in Hufflepuff jerk off sessions.

>implying they didn't keep sneaking polyjuice potion into his pumpkin juice to turn him into the hottest girl in the school
>implying they didn't run a train on him in the Hufflepuff common room
>implying he didn't smile and thank them for being his friends as they came inside his cunny

>Jacob starts to enchant his most decadent pastries with a powerful magical aphrodisiac.
>New York CIty starts fucking in ways its never fucked before
>unforeseen side effects result in a massive baby boom
>the babies start to show magic powers in adolescence

Kek, Jacob is literally /our guy/.

>when the Rhino tries to fuck him in the ass
I thought this was a fucking kids movie

Okay, this could be great assuming they could get a more charismatic lead

>Newt knew exactly what sounds and movements to make to attract the rhino

A kids movie where the protagonist literally fucks animals.

That whole scene was so weird. It's like stupid slapstick comedy all played for laughs for the kiddies but at the end of the day it's Newt trying to get this hulking rhino thing to fuck him and then it trying to fuck Jacob.

Nope. Lacked something. It entertained me thou.

My theater was dead quiet during that scene, absolutely no one was laughing or giggling.

>Be Fantastic Beasts and Where to find them
>Cast Collin Ferrel, one of the greatest actors around today
>Great range
>Box office draw for pretentious faggots (like myself)
>Actually a good performance
>Turns out he was just common hack, Johnny Depp, the whole time

>Be a movie
What did he mean by this?

>cast Collin Ferrel in a Harry Potter movie
>don't let him keep his natural accent

What did they mean by this?

My theater laughed hysterically at this scene, to the point where I couldn't hear anything the characters were saying. And it wasn't even kids, mostly 20somethings and a few old ladies.

idk about y'all theaters but me and my buddy laughed madly at the scene.

idk man, I fucking loved that movie. More than fucking star wars shit that's for darn sure

I feel like all of Sup Forums either despises it or loves it.

The mark of a true kino.

>mfw I never seen Harry Potter movies
>mfw I wanted to give a try
>mfw at the last scene where they shoot magic shit like machine gun
Ppl like this shit?

You're lucky you didn't watch the last 5 HP movies then.

Literally was trash until you see inside of the briefcase. Then it becomes "muh child abuse" and johnny deported from out of nowhere.

Should've stayed in the briefcase, threw in a sex scene with that bitch and the dude from balls of fury and called it a day.

>tfw we're getting a Star Wars film every year but not a Harry Potter film

There's no justice in this world.

nah fuck harry potter t-bh

but I wouldn't say no to seeing qt newt every year

>this shapeless, bland, human 2x4 is the main love interest in this billion dollar franchise

k

>Eddie Redmayne has a better ass than her

Anyway that's not Queenie.

Queenie is Jacob's love interest who is not the main character (even though he's the best character by a country mile).

How can a man have lips that perfect for sucking dicks?

Is there a movie where he sucks a dick?

Asking for my gay friend.

Actual Deppkino.
youtube.com/watch?v=liVH2_922ps

Him and Queenie were the only parts of the movie I liked. Eddie Redmayne has a weird face and his character was boring. Like one user put it, like a poor portrayal of the 11th Doctor.

Dan and Queenie were so good

I think everyone can agree on that, even normies. Funny how all the smaller character moments were so much better than all the CGI nonsense, makes me think that a tv show would be wonderful.

No it was just bland inoffensive forgettable trash much like the new ghostbusters movie

Why is it that wizards can apperate halfway across a country but not across oceans? Would be nice if Eddie Redmayne could go on adventures during the day then come back to pound that ex-auror pussy at night.

Pretentious turbo-nerds on internet forums.

Scriptwriting was a disaster.

Main characters had no impact on the story whatsoever. They could've not been there and everything would've been exactly the same. Also, they weren't even involved in the main conflict until the actual climax, they were just fucking around the whole time.

The "villain's" agenda is closer to Scamander than the towel head lady, who literally killed the boy he was trying to save. And yet he's just la-dee-da about doing whatever the towel lady asked and acting like she's a good person and shit.

Acting, visuals, dialogue were all great though, much better than competing blockbuster franchises. I assume the reason the script was fucky on this one is because it's an origin story, hopefully there will be more character development and a more serious plot going forward.

She's also the lead in Alien: Covenant

img.4plebs.org/boards/tv/image/1416/31/1416319655081.webm

>kino
Every thread with this stupid word is shit, when will the mods filter it

BORING!!!!!!

The advertising for this was terrible. They don't make it obvious it's connected to Harry Potter and all the posters and shit look dorky af, despite the fact that it's less dorky than HP.

The first half was

3 5 6 7.1 and some parts of 4 are kino

There was a scene where he's supposed to suck dick in Danish Girl but it was cut out. Which is a shame because you just know Redmayne practiced a lot.

There's a limit to how far you can apparate and the reason he took a boat was so he could sneak around his case full of illegal animals

Anyway let's discuss this qt Sup Forums, do you think JKR genuinely meant for him to be autistic or is he just meant to be ~socially awkward~ after being tentacleraped too many times?

Having Farrell replaced by Deep
What a fucking drop in quality tbqhwy

sauce?

it's in the book, to be more girly the character blows some ugly fat guy in an alley

>I assume the reason the script was fucky on this one is because it's an origin story
Or because a novelist, not a scriptwriter, wrote it?

They could have at least kept Colin as a high ranking underling of his.

Rowling got the writing credit, but the actual screenplay could have been a group effort behind the scenes

True, or a theory:

The real Graves is out there somewhere, Grimwnbelwad-guy keeping him alive for some reason and we get to see more of Farrell.

fuck you desu

they will throw money at the trio soon once the next one does poorly as well. WB wants a billion dollars guaranteed

this is why it failed she also cant act

>failed
>already top 10 grossing of the year and it's only been out a couple weeks
>already made over 600 million and has yet to open everywhere
>for a franchise that milks international box offices hard

It's doing fine

>Fantastic Beasts has a far lower critical score than Dr Strange

How the fuck is that possible? Fantastic Beasts was ten times the film that Dr Strange was.

I'm gonna watch this next week. What can I expect, how much screentime does Colin Farrell have?

How dumb are you or are you a FB shill?

Its been out for three weeks. And this is a poor year. Harry Potter would gross a billion or more this will not even make 850 million. WB marketed the crap out of it and they unperformed domestically. They would have had 50-100 million extra opening weekend alone had it been HP

It's going to break 800. For a 175 million budget, that's not too shabby considering HP also does very well on merchandising and physical media sales.

You now realize that everything is overrated except Harry Potter films, they are underrated.

Its kino if all you do is watch capeshit, which on nu/tv/ I'm guessing you do

>Harry Potter

is this Harry Potter? No, they literally made a movie about a character who has never been seen in Harry Potter. It's not even a Hagrid movie or a Dudley movie. Newt is a complete unknown.

>WB marketed the crap out of it

That's not true. There's next to no merchandise for this movie despite all the animals in it.

WB was cautious about this movie, and rightfully so. But it's doing very well and actually has legs, unlike the HP movies which are the most frontloaded things in the planet.

Except with 300 million in marketing they wanted more than breaking 800. Home media sales are guaranteed no matter what, so of it was HP they would get that plus a billion.

Yes merchandise is strong but because HP is valued at $15 billion. It isnt bombing or doing poorly but it isnt doing what they wanted especially to start off a series. I predict they will make these and start trying to make actual HP sequels as well because why the hell not.