Go to the movies for first time in forever

>go to the movies for first time in forever
>newly built cinema that I've never been to before
>mandatory seat belts on each of the seats

WHAT. THE. FUCK.

>They're all tandem seatbelts
>Get shunned away

It's so you don't fall off

how did you get past the penis inspection?

By winking you asshole

Autistic people need to be strapped in at all times.

>go to the cinema for the second time in forever
>arcade section only has adult games but the seats are covered in dried dick juice


WHAT.THE.FUCK

>go to newly built cinema
>they replaced the crab legs for a more healthy option of faisan beak
FUCK

>he wants to fall out of the kinocoaster

you mean like this?

>No singles, anvils, nor falcons policy

What. The. Fuck.

>no seatbelt for my falcon

>Tfw new sears have a 500 lb weight limit
It's not fair!

>buy ice cream
>ice in a cone

>newly built
>already replaced crab legs

Put more thought into it next time

>go to cinemas
>theres popcorn all over the floor
fucking disgusting, when i make a mess i expect it to be clean by the next viewing. Im not trying to fuel the economy and let these kids keep their jobs for nothing

>sitting in row G seat 14
>halfway through The Wolf of Wallstreet
>intermission
>loudspeaker announces which audience member will be invited to come down to the front and do karaoke
>"congratulations to the person sitting in row G..."
>pic related mfw, getting nauseous
>"seat number... 12!"
>some lady sitting two seats down from me gets up and sings "Staying Alive" or some shit

Haven't been back to the cinema since. I don't need that kind of anxiety when I want to watch a movie.

Thank you, job creator

Where are you on the spectrum?

...

>tfw cinema rock quarry is staffed exclusively by underfed slaves

I really ought to call the department of labor on them ffs it's not the Roman empire...

>booked tickets online
>"child friendly screening" was all I could get
>didn't think it would make much of a difference
>get there
>there's a fucking ball pit to the left of the screen

>in line to buy ticket for Arrival
>my falcons home sick from watching moana 3D last night
>hoping i can get by singles policy
>cinema officer eyeballs me as he scuddles by, snipping his claws at my penis
>mfw he asks who im here with
>sprint towards cinema emergency bay hatch
>guards have already surrounded me and im thrown in a vat of butter
Was Arrival anygood anons