You wake up as pic related

>you wake up as pic related
What is the first thong you would do?

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Read Mein Kampf

My sister's thong

damn his wonky eye looks wonkier in this pic.
anyway, i'd masturbate in front of a mirror, what else would you do?

I'd call Maggie and tell her she is beautiful

I would go people watch and see how they react.

>go to bank
>draw as much cash as I can
>hide it where noone else can find it

Just in case I go back to my body the next day

Star in as many shitty movies as I can
Oh wait...

call up fincher and ask to be in a new movie

I look like 60% of him according to face recognition website :3

Lose my virginity

find out if my first body still exists and see who occupies it

What if it's Gyllenhaal who is out to beat the shit out of you?

Shave.

*my balls

kill myself and go back to sleep

I would do all sorts of scandalous shit that would put me in Hollywood's blacklist, i.e., bashing Jews, insult feminists, and drinking and driving
>implying this body possession only lasts 24 hours

What if it lasts forever and you just ruined your livelihood?

Jizz in a shot glass and down it

You think he can beat himself up when he is in my scrawny body?

This must be one of the most pathetic posts on this board. Which 60% is it, your innards?

He can still stab you or maybe even worse
He could mutilate your original body

Recreate this scene in front of the local mall Santa

m.youtube.com/watch?v=FsV5BO5gXzE

Do I have his memories or my own?

Because I'd probably try to conjure up as many memories of banging Sngaggletooth, Hershlag, and TayTay as I could

I would kill my former body and marry my cousin

>Nightcrawler
>Jarhead
>Donny Darko
>Southpaw
>Demolition
>Prisoners
>End of Watch
>Zodiac
>Brokeback Mountain

Wonder where jake-gyllenhaal-001 thru jake-gyllenhaal-004 are.

HELLO
RATO

Throw as much money to try and figure out how to get back my normal body and life. I actually like being me.

I'm Jake Gyllenhal, I'll post bail in no time

Why dirty the glass though? Your hand would work fine.

>"hi I was wondering if you could find mr. (old body) for me"
>*keyboard typing noise*
>"sir, it says that mr. (old body) died ten years ago"

I think you just wrote the plot to this year's biggest blockbuster

>Implying he's not one of the few actors that garantee that the flickeroo is at the very least decent.

Probably, he knows how to train and live to his fullest potential. I would probably lose his Southpaw physique in 24 hours, while he'd hit the gym in my body and come back as the solar system's strongest man.

Best laugh all night, thank you for that

This

>Snaggletooth

Please don't tell me Jakey G fugged my waifu.

try to suck my own dick

jakes or your original body?

Take half of his money out of his bank account, take the cash to where I live now. If I stay in his body I'll have half of what he's worth but if I go back to being myself I'll also have half

probably both

i look like him but balding

gift and the curse

Suck 's dick

Jerk off and cum in my mouth

youtu.be/04Dsj06ptL8?t=17m38s

Put my toe on the trigger

if you're going to do a celebrity suicide, make it more exciting. Imagine hearing the news about a 10 hour standoff with the police involving Jake G, or that he put on a giant hotdog costume and jumped off the golden gate bridge.

KILL FUCKING HIPSTERS
holy shit this clip is goat

youtube.com/watch?v=pt9wnawn7xQ

trigger everybody he worked with because I really suck at acting

I'd just retire and bang bitches

This.
I've grown attached to myself and all the successes and failures I can call my own.
I'd take good care of Jake's body while inhabiting it though. Take extra good care of it in order not to ruin it or leave it worse for wear than before I inhabited it. Hope he'd do the same for me assuming this was a swap.

^. I just wanna be me but with Jake's money.

go and meet myself and see how much of an autistic sperg I seem from a 3rd person's perspective

>you meet yourself and Jake is already engaged to a 10/10 and secured a role on a Netflix show

your mom's thong LMAOO

Wow such an awful list of movies proving his point.

>5 kinos, 2 films and 2 movies
>awful
How gay are you?

have sex with a girl

This one of the only acceptable answers

enemy is his only good one

zodiac and jarhead are mehhh

Shit taste
Good taste

Not as gay as someone who likes a shitty actor like Jake Gyllenhaal.