/hp/ Harry Potter General

Let's write ironic, cliche as hell FanFiction greentexts edition

>also, post any related Harry Potter Screencaps

Other urls found in this thread:

cosforums.com/showpost.php?p=2111289
twitter.com/NSFWRedditVideo

Hufflepuff for best house
>you will never join a magical Hufflepuff fuckfest

So why didn't Harry fuck Hermione?

>FanFiction
Kill yourself

Why would want to post screencaps from one of the dullest franchise in the history of movie franchises? Seriously each episode following the boy wizard and his pals from Hogwarts Academy as they fight assorted villains has been indistinguishable from the others. Aside from the gloomy imagery, the series’ only consistency has been its lack of excitement and ineffective use of special effects, all to make magic unmagical, to make action seem inert.

Perhaps the die was cast when Rowling vetoed the idea of Spielberg directing the series; she made sure the series would never be mistaken for a work of art that meant anything to anybody?just ridiculously profitable cross-promotion for her books. The Harry Potter series might be anti-Christian (or not), but it’s certainly the anti-James Bond series in its refusal of wonder, beauty and excitement. No one wants to face that fact. Now, thankfully, they no longer have to.

>a-at least the books were good though
"No!"
The writing is dreadful; the book was terrible. As I read, I noticed that every time a character went for a walk, the author wrote instead that the character "stretched his legs."

I began marking on the back of an envelope every time that phrase was repeated. I stopped only after I had marked the envelope several dozen times. I was incredulous. Rowling's mind is so governed by cliches and dead metaphors that she has no other style of writing. Later I read a lavish, loving review of Harry Potter by the same Stephen King. He wrote something to the effect of, "If these kids are reading Harry Potter at 11 or 12, then when they get older they will go on to read Stephen King." And he was quite right. He was not being ironic. When you read "Harry Potter" you are, in fact, trained to read Stephen King.

>Trying this hard

...

>But what I'm a hothead?
>Bane CIA Pavel, you are named for two great plane crashers. One of them was a hothead. And he was probably the biggest guy I ever knew.

I've got one

>The main characters' children time travel to goblet of fire to change the future
>accidentally make a future where Voldemort wins and everyone celebrates 'Voldemort Day'
>The old lady that pushes the food trolley on the train is actually a terminator. Her hands turn into knives and she throws pumpkin bombs
>Voldemort had a secret baby who is the villain
>all the dialogue is like a bad tumblr post, at some point Malfoy's son says: "Wow. Squeak. My geekness is a-quivering.”

>fanfiction fan
>mobile poster
>>trying to reverse boogeyman post
Capeshitters everyone

>Harry has access to all 3 hallows
>Newt has access to his suitcase and all its contents

WHO WOULD WIN?

I can never understand what they were doing with Hermoine.

She's suppose to be both hot and unattractive at the same time.

This bitch is embarrassed in-front of Ron, but the previous year she was fucked at 14 by an 18 year old Bulgarian. Why the fuck is she acting like this around Ron? She can get guys a lot better as demonstrated throughout the series.

Kek great way to honor CIA's birthday

Newt. We've already established this. Next.

That's beyond ironic cliché fan fiction. That's just retarded.

That was two years before but she wasnt cause shes a spazz, she was embarrassed after chugging her beer

Man that's sounds good Senpai, think we should call it the cursed child?

Krum was an ugly manlet and Rom was 6'1

How triggered would you say you are user?

>German wizards
>ugly manlets
>one of them is a death eater

What did Rowling mean by this?

they actually fucked?

Newt doesnt fight, though. Harry is an aggressive fighter. I think he'd tear Newt's ass up.

>trying this hard
Friendless autist confirmed

he got triggered in the last thread too, he legitimately polices the board and thinks hes your superior

Shouldn't harry be in charge of the wizarding world since he saved it's ass?
He doesn't seem as legendary as Dumbledore or the other wizarding elite.

A solid 7/10 I would say. I'll be writing a strongly worded letter as to why BUTTERFLY should come be the janitor on Sup Forums on /feedback/ and another to Hiroyuki about a /kino/ board.

Why would want to post screencaps from one of the dullest franchise in the history of movie franchises? Seriously each episode following the boy wizard and his pals from Hogwarts Academy as they fight assorted villains has been indistinguishable from the others. Aside from the gloomy imagery, the series’ only consistency has been its lack of excitement and ineffective use of special effects, all to make magic unmagical, to make action seem inert.

Perhaps the die was cast when Rowling vetoed the idea of Spielberg directing the series; she made sure the series would never be mistaken for a work of art that meant anything to anybody?just ridiculously profitable cross-promotion for her books. The Harry Potter series might be anti-Christian (or not), but it’s certainly the anti-James Bond series in its refusal of wonder, beauty and excitement. No one wants to face that fact. Now, thankfully, they no longer have to.

>a-at least the books were good though
"No!"
The writing is dreadful; the book was terrible. As I read, I noticed that every time a character went for a walk, the author wrote instead that the character "stretched his legs."

I began marking on the back of an envelope every time that phrase was repeated. I stopped only after I had marked the envelope several dozen times. I was incredulous. Rowling's mind is so governed by cliches and dead metaphors that she has no other style of writing. Later I read a lavish, loving review of Harry Potter by the same Stephen King. He wrote something to the effect of, "If these kids are reading Harry Potter at 11 or 12, then when they get older they will go on to read Stephen King." And he was quite right. He was not being ironic. When you read "Harry Potter" you are, in fact, trained to read Stephen King.

Literally any one of Newt's creatures could kill Harry. Imagine all of them at once.

harry can fly like a champ

sources and speculation about Harry and hermione being siblings :
cosforums.com/showpost.php?p=2111289
for the anons in the previous thread that asked.

You forgot your image. 0/10.

So can plenty of Newt's creatures.
I'd like to see him try after a swooping evil rekt his broom.

>tips

Can you not! I'm already very insecure a out liking this movie series!

mano y mano harry wins tho

Thanks for following up senpai, I'll take a look at it

Regardless, he wouldn't be able to kill Newt. The most he can do is stun him.

>underage virgins: the thread

note that the post in from 2005. Fortunately, this is not the only source you can come up with. Just type "Harry Potter and hermione siblings" on Google if you wish to find more.

stop trying to make harry potter a thing here, it's never gonna be a thing.

I've fucked plenty of men_

Naturally but Newt wouldnt either they would honestly probably both PT eachother and be stuck lying on the ground for hours

What's the best Harry and Hermione fic?

t. grown adult browing anime imageboard