You have to accomplish one of these or else you will go to jail for the rest of your life. which one and why?

you have to accomplish one of these or else you will go to jail for the rest of your life. which one and why?

Other urls found in this thread:

streamable.com/0v65m
twitter.com/SFWRedditVideos

i shank iverson at the start of the match and i go to jail for a few years instead of life

I can't do any of these things. Guess I would choose Iverson.

jail, because i wouldn't be able to do any of that

Iverson, I injure him in the first two minutes. Maybe the last one depending on who's pitching.

Top left is dubious, because presumably I'd have ten other guys on the D-line with me. Even if it was 2-on-2, I'd say maybe, cuz you'd have to figure shorter quarters at that point.

Baseball maybe, if I could train first. Tyson I'd just run around the ring for 24 minutes, I ain't scared. I already beat him on NES so it's w/e

Julio Jones, just jam him up and get PI called in yourself so he can't catch the ball

If it's home run derby style pitching, baseball is the most realistic. Major league pitching, then no, it's probably AI, or run in circles in the boxing ring and hope Tyson doesn't land one. Julio is absolutely hopeless, even for some actual NFL corners.

He'd push past you like it was nothing, and if you stayed back past 10 yards to do it, he'd run right past you before you could touch him. If by some miracle you contact him past 10 yards, he'd catch it anyway, and run it in for the score and they'd decline the penalty.

Iverson has to be the most overrated basketball player of all time, i choose that one

They could just do WR handoffs or passes behind the line of scrimmage. There is zero chance anyone on Sup Forums could manage to catch up to let alone tackle julio jones. Hell, he wouldn't even have to do that, you try to tackle him at the line to get a PI and he'll just run right by you.

Tyson. I'd never be able to beat him but I might be able to not get knocked out in 8 rounds if I run around like an idiot. (I'm 6' and 212lbs, lift 4-5 days a week and run at the 3-mile range regularly.)

>There are people ITT who unironically believe that they could evade a legendary heavyweight with incredible footwork for 24 full minutes in a small ring
You would get cornered within 20 seconds and heemed to oblivion with a single body shot

Tyson. I'd rather be dead than have to spend the rest of my life in jail

I'd do Iverson so I wouldn't have to play a contact sport. I couldn't keep him under 20 but it would be fun to shake the hand of such a great, financially irresponsible NBA legend

This is the only answer

If you're not a world class heavyweight boxer, you're not lasting 2 rounds with Tyson. I don't care if you sprint around the ring.

this lmao

I'd get one of my bros to Gilooly AI sorry bruh this bird aint about no cage

>Iverson
Probably the most realistic choice. You have other defenders around you to help. He's also not that tall for an NBA player, so it's not like he can just lay up right over you like KD could.
>Julio
Nope. Nearly impossible. The only way would be if you're playing on a zone defense so other defenders pick up your slack. Otherwise, he is stronger than you, faster than you and will break your tackles.
>Tyson
Literally impossible for 90% of the guys he faced, who were professional boxers since they were children. This is impossible and the worse choice.
>Homerun
Depends on the pitching. Homer in derby or Clayton Kershaw? Homerun derby style makes it feasible but unlikely. Kershaw- or an other pro pitcher for that matter- makes it impossible.

12+ years of martial arts
pretty sure i could beat tyson let alone last 8 rounds if everything is fair game

Appriciatable b8

>(I'm 6' and 212lbs, lift 4-5 days a week and run at the 3-mile range regularly.)
are you literally me?

Old school refs like Frank Cappuccino would just DQ your ass for antics like that.

>6' and 212lbs
you're a fat fuck and would be exhausted midway thru round 2. you have zero chance

Iverson. I can play decent defense, but I am sure he is amazingly fast and will still get around me a lot. I can do my best to disrupt his shot though.

>midway through round 2

lel he'd be gassed 30 seconds in. as soon as the bell rings, Tyson comes charging and starts peppering him with blows. even if he could semi block a few, he'd still be getting destroyed and within that 30 seconds his stamina would drop to 0 and he'd be fucked

>amazingly fast
quickest guy off the bounce in NBA history. only way you stop him is if you play off him 5 feet and basically stand under the hoop. he'll dunk on you but it should buy some time for some help D

I don't know boxing rules. Can I just curl up in the fetal position the whole time?

Pretty sure you might last one round at best with your special MUHMUHA skills.

>but muh royce Gracie school of ground and pound my ass

Cool, this is boxing. You'll get DQed and go to prison as soon as you try to shoot his legs or do a spinning cartwheel kick.

>just jam him up
>I might be able to not get knocked out in 8 rounds
>I can play decent defense

I hate all of you

I have some decent boxing training so I'd probably go Iron mike. He is old and we'd be the same height. I could probably tie him up often to stay fresh enough to keep my head moving and hands up.

I would hold AI to under 10 AND get my squad 30 if it's an off night.

Even though I played baseball, probably couldn't do dead center. Maybe right field if I get the right pitch and swing.

Tyson. Now if you said Ali, then I'd go with hitting the home run.

We're talking prime late 80s Tyson here, not Cartoon Network Tyson

Take Jones. Jump offsides until their offense is within 20 yards and then just hang out in the endzone stalling as much as possible. By the end of the game they'll just run the clock out and he wouldn't even be in the game. EZ

Hit a homerun. They call it luckswing for a reason

Take Julio Jones and just hold instantly at snap every down

penalty yards don't count towards his total

do you think their coaches would really go "oh no, we're getting 5 yards and a first down every snap because of this guy. We need to start doing double reverses to get Julio the ball so this guy doesn't give us a free first down".

Replace Iverson by KD or LeBron and you might make this interesting. Iverson is the obvious choice in this one.

Go 8 rounds with Tyson. If I miraculously survive, I'm free. If I don't, I'd be dead so no jail time.

the basketball one will always be the "easier" choice here because it is the only one that requires more athleticism than strength.

Actually thinking you could hold Prime AI to under 20

I realize that spee is 90% teenagers who have never played any of the sports they shitpost about, but seriously?

im not delusional enough to think any of them are achievable. but in relation to the other options the basketball one doesnt require raw strength in the same way the others do. nice reading comprehension tho.

I was replying to the Spaniardbro, not you..nice reading comprehension-skills, though

..if you were just proxy-fagging, then step yo game up senpai

you risk serious injury and death with one of those

This.

Julio jones one. You never said we had to win the game so just put all the defence on him and let them run for as many touchdowns as they like but make passing to him stupid and impossible

Can I just let them fuck my wife instead?

Iverson had a lot of irregular games and his shot was off most of the time. Durant for example had like a 300 20+ points game streak and is 7 feet tall which makes him unguardable.Iverson is obviously the weak link

Julio
>encroachment/false start on every offensive play
>they score a 1 yard TD every possession
>Julio gets 19 yards, 19 scores and I get 0 years in prison

I agree completely, I was just throwing some (admittedly weak) banter at Canada-bro.

In all seriousness, though? Death-by-PrimeTyson-uppercut is the only correct answer...no jail for me.

OP certainly left some broad approaches to this challenge open.

No one wants to fuck your obese hogbeast of a wife

Julio Jones. Jump way into the neutral zone well before every snap, which automatically kills the play. Outside of 5 minutes remaining in the half, the play clock is reset, so time will still work its way down. He'll get touchdowns 1 yard at a time, and they'll pull him for fear of injury once the team's up by 60.

>mfw the Falcons could have won with this strat

>people not picking 8 rounds with prime tyson

not only would i survive i'd probably KO that bum inside 1 round

>>There are people ITT who unironically believe that they could evade a legendary heavyweight with incredible footwork for 24 full minutes in a small ring

I was thinking either Iverson or Tyson and then I read your comment and realized it can't be Tyson kek.

You're confusing this with NES Punchout!, Britbro...an easy mistake, but still..

Straight up flagrant foul AI out of the game.

I played Punchout!!! as a kid; if Little Mac can beat Tyson, why can't I stay up for 8 rounds?


For real, I'd try the baseball one. At the very least you can practice at a batting cage...

there's just no chance I could do any of them. maybe I could just PI julio at the start of every play, but I doubt that would even work

8 rounds? Nobody could last 8 seconds

only correct answer
>just jam him up
kek

I'd rather go to jail for the rest of my life than deal with the brain damage Tyson would give me

Prime Tyson would delete me within 8 seconds with a body shot

A better strategy would be spit hot sauce in his eye and hope the next man up holds him to 150 yards after you get ejected

It's the only option that could kill you though, which some people would take over spending the rest of their life in jail.

Tyson

I'm 6'4, 260 with 82 inch reach vs Tysons 70" reach. I think I could handle him for 8 rounds.

I PI Jones every single play

Couldn't swing a bat, hold iverson or stop julio, but fairly confident i could takedown tyson and ground n pound.

T. Mma lightheavyweight with over 15 fights

>inb4 bullshit

Punch Iverson, go to jail for a few weeks instead of life. Alternatively, simply talk to Tyson beforehand, explain the situation, and ask him to wait until the 9th round before knocking me out.

No you couldn't

Hold Iverson under 20 points by purposley breaking his ankle.

Easy. 8 rounds with iron mike without being ko'd. You just have to run around the ring. You don't even need to know how to box.

Ring ain't that big and he knows that you'll get tired of running little white boi

I reject your premise. Holding any player under certain point or yardage totals has no guaranteed impact on whether you win or lose. Belichick once asked his Giants defenders which of them wanted to be Superbowl MVP. After they all raised their hands he told them "Let Thurman Thomas run for 100 yards." Ah, nevermind. Who cares?

The most realistic one is Iverson if you have nba level help defense and that's a very big stretch. A guy like Iverson in his prime would average 30 and 6 against the top 100 players in the world.

this is a 437 foot home run, you can't do this

streamable.com/0v65m


anyway, I'd pick Jones, seems like a cool guy might be able to talk to him into only getting 140 yards before sitting and letting his backup get like 600 more yards on me. Same idea with Iverson, any basketball team with me on it is going to lose anyway, but Iverson seems like the kind of guy who'd want a 100 point game if he could so I'll go with Jones.

Banking on Matt Ryan being shit seems like a pretty safe bet to me.

Mike always got beat by bigger guys.

Jones, deliberately go offside every time

I think talking defeats the purpose. Otherwise you could talk Iverson into scoring less than 20 or ask Tyson to let you survive for 8 rounds before you throw in the towel.

jail. I couldn't do any of that.

Well that's not true. I probably could hit a 436ft homer with enough time to practice. I wasn't bad at baseball. Still if you gave me a bat now and asked me to do it in just 30 pitches it isn't happening. I'd need months of practice first.

The team wouldn't let me 1 on 1 Julio so I'll take that one.

Going for Mike Tyson.

I'll die in the first round more than likely. So, even if I lose, I still win.

Kek

A DQ isn't a KO though, so that's fine.

Iverson, I try to step on his foot the exact moment he jumps im hopes of fucking up his legs.

as a defender I'd just commit offside penalties the whole game

Tyson never got beat in his prime, nobody even came close. Tyson beat a bunch of guys that were 6'3" or taller no problem. And they were accomplished boxers. You'd have zero chance. You'd be so slow, your feet would be clumsy, it would be like you were fighting while submerged in water.

Tyson lost to 6'3" Olympic gold medalist Henry Tillman twice as an amateur. When they fought as pros, Tyson heemed him in one round.

bottom left since it's 406 now

TKO

Home run if its bp. If its against a professional pitcher i guess id go julio and just hold every play

>which of these 3 near impossible scenarios could you do?
>hey about X?
>PEOPLE ACTUALLY THINK THEY CAN DO X

calm down kid

>throwing 77mph in the majors

Solid bait my dude. Have a (You) on me

If you get fastballs below 95 mph I'd do the home run easy.

These fatsos couldn't go 8 rounds with the bags much less mister dream himself

Why arnt you amking hundreds of millions as a boxer then?

Wtf are you talking about