You have just been sentenced to six years in a prison in Pernambuco...

You have just been sentenced to six years in a prison in Pernambuco, Brazil for a drug trafficking crime you did not commit. What do you do? How will you attempt to survive?

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Obtain protection by selling sopa-de-macaco

If you got a college degree you go to a special prison, that look better than the american ones.

i don't really know, just try to act like i'm not pussy

I just listened to a podcast about a USAmerican who spent four years in a Brazilian prison for cocaine smuggling. Apparently he spent most of his time reading books and learning Portuguese (he became fluent). I wonder if he was sent to one of the regular prisons or one of the nice prisons.

that's so fucked up
they should have the same prison for everyone

>give myself a bunch of those scary Russian prisoner tattoos.
>probably some Nazi shit too so it accentuates my whiteness
>I hear they respect whiteness in Brazil
>make sure to get "Vírus da Imunodeficiência Humana +" tattooed somewhere on my face
>gouge out one of my eyes and get an eye patch
>this will definitely make me look more intimidating
>speak in made up animal gibberish
>do everything backwards
>wash with dirt, dry with water, walk in reverse, etc.
>this way they think I'm fucking crazy and either pity or fear me
>get my family to send money so I can bribe guards and gang bosses

6 years will go by in no time

It doesn't really surprise me. I mean, Brazil is a country where the rich literally ride helicopter taxis in big cities to avoid traffic. Of course rich people get special treatment by the justice system even after conviction.

>probably some Nazi shit too so it accentuates my whiteness

You're going to get shanked.

It's fucked up beyond all reason and belief.
I wish I could have SOPA made with the bodies of rich people.

Look at all that brownness.

?

Isn't that just an average skin tone in most Latin American countries?

Try to find russian diaspora. If there no russian there just ask guys how I should behave and what people expect from you.

Yes it is.

they would rape your tight, pink hole.

For some reason I feel like Russians and Brazillians are naturally kindred spirits.

Lube my asshole. Im tiny and i hate blood and rust

You don't understand shit about prison if thinks everyone rapes each other there
We have a lot similarities

>Pernambuco

Why they hide their faces? Muh human rights?

Russians wouldn't really handle Brazil though.

That's true. The BRICS countries are quite similar in certain ways.

>tiny
explain

have you ever been in prison?
i'm sure they don't rape everyone, but they would 100% do it to you.

I only was in jail. My friend was in prison he said it was ok

I had a friend who went to jail for robbery.
He got joke/raped because of a debt he made for taking a cigarette. Suffered some next level swede syndrome, the one where you want to be friends to your captors. He also got hooked on heroine, which is odd since heroin was a 90s and early 00s fad.

what's the difference?

stockholm syndrome.

Im a bit skinny but i have good legs and an ass that makes girls jealous.
Girls literally grab my ass when i make out with them.

Why would they definitely rape a Russian? Because he couldn't make friends due to the language barrier? Are Brazilians addicted to Slavic boipussy? In the USA Russians are stereotyped as being tough due to the Rocky films so I bet he'd be ok in a US jail.

If my translation is not wrong
Jail=Delegacia
Prison=Cadeia

Prepare a liquid delicacy containing the meat of a primate

actually, most of brazilian prisons are pretty comfy for a scumbag criminal. those shitty prisons are often found in north and northeast and are also often temporary prisons. i'm a lawyer and sometimes visit some prisons.

pics pls

cuz russians are white, and it's not everyday you get to rape a white guy.

i thought it was the same

Have you ever represented violent criminals in court? Have you witnessed anything horrifying at a prison?

Maybe he just didn't know the rules in the first place. If you owe something in jail you are fucked, especially cigarettes or drugs.
Jail is where police is looking over you and you wait for something. Prison is a different institution where you are put if they found you guilty

Don't even want to know.

>cuz russians are white

What if Ivan spoke Portuguese well enough to explain that Russians are not in fact white due to their Asiatic skull shape and Mongol heritage? Would that have an effect on the outcome?

>do a nazi tattoo
>in a prison that will probably have 5 whites max
>while expending your days and nights in a cell full of blacks and mixed guys
You gonna get MACHETED while you sleep, there was some loser from a brazilian IB, who was arrested for racist shit in the internet, he only spent like somedays in a common prison before going to the "special prison", and in this short period of time, he only survived because he whored himself to the biggest black guy there.

I don't think the average Brazilian inmate would know/care about such details.

He was arrested and imprisoned for saying racist things on the Internet? I didn't know Brazil followed UK legal statutes

He got on the debt train for taking cigarettes.
Then he became a bitch and his daddy who was probably an older inmate got his bitch hooked on heroin.
I know another guy who was on the same floor.
Said it was the saddest most pathetic thing he saw.
Said they made love with eavh other, cuddled and everything. Held meat parties and the man in the relationship earned from that buttpit and lips.

Here it is to make sure your pink asshole doesn't get sold.

i've already represented a pedophile. does it count?

I had an uncle who was terrified of the idea of getting raped, one day he got a one year sentence, for a bar fight.
I remember he was just trembling of fear of this when the sentence was told, like cold sweating.
During his whole sentence, he didn't take a shower once... Because he was so busy getting raped.

it's illegal to be racist in brazil mate

>Held meat parties and the man in the relationship earned from that buttpit and lips.

Are you saying he whored him out to other inmates?

ask them of their sopa de macaco recipes

UMA DELICIA

>cuddled
fortunately our prison is not so fucking gay

No. you could look like pic related and still be considered white

We do. Look, this country is mostly non-white. People reaaally don't appreaciate racist comments. If you call someone a monkey, they can call the police and have you arrested.

lawyers are fucking scum

If im correct, it wasn't only that, he wasn't only being racist, but said he planned to do a massacre in a university, police investigated him for it, and found pedo stuff besides the racial stuff.

Thats exactly what i said. But i try to translate exact words

Vc é um corregedor?

>lawyers are fucking scum
why?

Ebin joge

(T-that is a joke, right?)

I guess it was the swede syndrome that made him the little spoon with the man who is serving jail since before the war

I would agree to sucking cocks in exchange for not getting my ass fucked.
also, I am super hairy, I dont think they would like me.

>why?
because your job is to keep pedos out of jail, you disgusting bastard.

Its not how it works at all.
Here for instance, you have to get in a major fight with the entire cell when you first come.
If you survive, there is a 50 50 chance you will be viewed differently, no longer a victim

e se eu disser que sou especializado em civil e posso escolher meus clientes ?

and, what if it doesn't work?

He gets paid even if he doesnt save him jail time. What if he is framed and only a lawyer can prove it

Everyone deserves legal representation mate. It's a cornerstone of every relatively fair legal system.

Finally, Psytoré.

youtube.com/watch?v=a49HOuy3JdI

You fight again. But this time there will be less people fighting you

Bosnian prisons sound pretty hardcore

e você escolheu um pedófilo. Lixo humano, considere suicídio.

>He gets paid even if he doesnt save him jail time
Still defending pedos

get the fuck out

Canada does not have this. Unless you are very poor you must provide your own legal representative or go without.
Only America has this system of guaranteed public defenders for everyone.

eu nem sou o anão que disse aquilo though

Just be myself.

Macaco do you understand the principle of innocence until proven guilty? And surely the right to legal counsel is enshrined in your country's constitution, no?

I'd assume I would last for couple hours unless somebody thinks I'm pretty enough to be their bitch.
Doubt I'd survive the six years anyway.

Why are you so quick to defend a fucking pedo?

The third world doesn't believe in justice, my friend.

Do islamic prayers 5 times a day as usual and randomly use arabic, maybe they will think I'm a terrorist and leave me alone.

You don't know if they're a pedo until a ruling has been made in a fair trial before a jury of peers. The only case in which lynch mob mentality is acceptable is when someone obviously guilty is acquitted.

as if

>You don't know if they're a pedo
But I do. He just said he represented a pedo.

he is a chimpanzillian stop trying to educate him

There are a lot of videos of people get buttraped because the crime they commited was rape. How do another inmates know a certain guy did it, if him for obvius reasons wouldn't tell that?

It's the same thing here. Prison workers tell everyone about such things. They want ensure you have a good time

this thread

desu, at least divide them by security risk and not by education

I'm in the military so i'll get sent to a better prison.

Don't wanna end like this.

is that shit or blood?

both. They damaged his ass afair

I know this guy is a raper, but seeing this makes me feel bad for him.

You dont.

fuuug

Blood.

These guys are from a prison in Pernambuco and they're sparring with machetes, must be fun as fuck

youtu.be/RrHo7wfdpCo

Are these guys are not afraid of ISIS and the likes?
Normal people here would be forking up 300k-millions when groups like Abu Sayyaf kidnaps someone.

Latin Americans are not afraid of that kind of groups mostly because everyday violence is as vicious as the one in the Middle East.

No. Muslims had both great chances of doing a bombing here and they failed both.

Haha you're a naive. Bring these fucktards to Brazil and they will become little pussies in a brazilian prison.

That is kinda sad

We are not afraid of your people. You get killed if you try to play the dangerous arab in Brazil.

You get used to it.

There's no way to survive in a prison in Brasil. So what's the point of discussing this shit? We might as well talk about what's the least painful way of killing ourselves in the prison

It's weird how Arabs in Latin America are mostly middle or upper class, whereas in Europe they tend to be bydlo.

Dont worry jasper, ill protect you and we can cuddle at night.

I'm sure a cute Korean boy could find a sympathetic ruffian to protect him in exchange for boipu$$i

find the biggest nigger in the facility and knock him the fuck out and tell them that you dont fuck with me

Cool. I always wanted to be fucked by a Latino. Their huge and hard dicks arouse me as fuck. Can't even imagine what it'd feel like to lick and suck it. Their semen must taste brilliant

Arabs in Brazil are christian