Heavy metal is a world of its own...

Heavy metal is a world of its own, and even critics in their 30s who grew up listening to AOR like Led Zeppelin and Quiet Riot seldom retain a serious affectation for the stuff. Rock intellectuals invariably prefer punk, alternative, even hip-hop and their disdain rankles the metal faithful. The phallic narcissism of metal has few parallels outside of X-rated movies, toilet art, and (oh yes) hip-hop.

As one of those rock intellectuals, I remain unconverted. It never seems to occur to metal enthusiasts that metal's melodramatic, reverb-drenched strain is precisely what rock and roll was put on Earth to save us from.

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He's correct. Metal is wank for kids pretending to be edgy. It's children's music.

Metal is the genre fiction of music.

>can't comprehend the fact that someone might just enjoy the music on it's own merit without caring about any of the aesthetics

There is no merit, unless you're a child mentally.

>punk
>intellectual
Punks (real punks, mind you) are some of the most low-IQ junkie retards I've ever had the displeasure of knowing. I used to live with some a few years ago. They were filthy junkies who wouldn't shut the fuck up about their backwards political beliefs. They didn't bathe very often either.

>Rock intellectuals

>there is no merit
t. low test nu male logic

the word on his shirt has an extra apostrophe and is missing an 'O'

Uh...just what makes punk and hip-hop more mature, adult, and intellectual than metal?

They aren't. Critics are mainly English majors who can't deal with metal because it relies mainly on instruments to get the message of the song across. Punk and hip-hop are mostly lyrics-driven, so critics "get" them.

Everything

I thought he liked hip-hop

>metal
>reverb drenched
what the fuck is this guy on

"Grrr I fill these thugs with sixteen slugs/I slap that ho on mah dick"

Is real intellectual songwriting, no?

>rock intellectuals

Cuckgau has shown many many times that he has absolutely no understanding of metal's message, purpose, or even its fanbase.

Neither do I, what are they actually

Metal is very romantic music which is considered uncool nowadays because it emphasizes emotion more than smarts. I guess the rather fantastic themes seem cheesy to everyone except the nerdier crowd too, or just simply not relateable. But it's ok, not everything you listen to has to be cool or smart as long as you enjoy it!

He seems to have this idea that metalheads are football jocks/meatheads like the kind who used to kick the shit out of him in high school when jocks don't listen to metal, they listen to Top 40 and buttrock/buttrap. Metal fans are usually stoners, D&D nerds, and other social outcasts.

if you listen to metal just go get laid already ffs

shave the beard, hit the gym, throw out the anime, ditch the fedora and flame shirt

Metal is a nerd's idea of romanticism, hip hop is a jock's

BOBOS?

>I guess the rather fantastic themes seem cheesy to everyone except the nerdier crowd too, or just simply not relateable
Most of that shit is disguised social commentary anyway.

>nu metal and Limp Bizkit never existed

Serious music fans don't listen to metal, it's a punchline in music circles.

>incomprehensible screaming about mommy taking the xbox or lord odin smiting all the niggers
>10 minute fast but tuneless guitar solo

>serious music fans

Unless you live in a Nordic country, where it's just another part of mass pop culture, no joke

He's talking about 80s hair metal probably

>itt people who thinks that 'intellectuality' fucking matters lol

It is if you're a pretentious wannabe hipster like Christgau.

Nah, fat rednecks mostly listen to metalcore actually. Thrash is mostly urban/suburban and international audience.

Hell, Thrash's international audience (some of which extends slightly to other genres, too but mostly thrash) is probably one of the coolest indicators of metal's ability to be able to speak through the music alone. Like, international kids can't relate to fucking idk...living in black dominated american ghetto or w/e "establishment" punks decide to rail against. Nor will some indie music about suburban problems, not problems about muh technology like OK Computer considering how much tech helps those guys. There's probably a very good chance a lot of these guys are living far worse lives than any of this shit white people music complains about. Doesn't help that many of these people can't into English. This is where metal comes into play because the lyrics and themes are secondary while the MUSIC is first. Thus why metal's got a far larger influence outside the anglosphere compared to other non-mainstream music.

There's punk and hip-hop all over the world as well, but because they're both lyrics-driven genres, they don't translate as well internationally.

He's never listened to Fear of the Dark by Maiden

>Nah, fat rednecks mostly listen to metalcore actually
Or they did ten years ago--that shit has mostly been replaced by trap now.

>and yet he gave Reign In Blood a B+
What.

tl;dr Christgau was full of shit when he said only white males listen to metal when it has a global following with people of all colors and nationalities.

>muh shitty hardcore punk influences

Probably because RIB is a fast, sloppy, and, well, silly album almost bordering on self-parody. The thing is that Christgau has this obsession with the idea that rock has to be fast and sloppy, anything too slick and precise he thinks is false and pretentious. He's also said that he thinks Phil Spector ruined rock and roll by making it too overproduced and bombastic.

Oh yeah for sure. I do always wonder if a hip hop group like Uochi Toki would've gotten more love considering they did Death Grips before Death Grips.
I still occasionally see fat scene chicks wearing A Day To Remember stuff whenever I gotta take bus or train down south for work if clients are there.

I don't mind hip-hop but punk is very tedious and boring to listen to.

Didn't he also think that The Who should have just kept remaking TWSO forever?

didn't he write that in the 80s or something?

No and I don't plan on it. Fuck metal. I've listened to enough of it to determine I don't care for it. You'll likely grow out of it, and hip hop too.

Yes. Someone emailed Christgau in the early 2000s asking why he downgraded Who's Next from A to A- in "Consumer Guide to the '70s". He replied that "I gave the album an A in the original review, but I dropped it slightly in 'Consumer Guide'. This was after seeing the band's later career unfold. I recently listened to Who's Next for the first time in a decade and although it wasn't so obvious in 1971, all the warning signs were there including the winding song structures, synth noodling, and Roger Daltrey's histrionic vocals. I still maintain that The Who Sell Out was their one truly great albu."

>tfw he's right

Whatever. The times changed. Everyone went to fat, bloated stadium rock/prog epics in the 70s. You couldn't keep making 1965's music in 1973.

Even in the 80s that would have been a bullshit statement.

ITT: soyboys who can't into metal

>soymeme
kys fash

>rock intellectuals

>I only listen to mature music for mature people such as myself
You sound fun

It was kind of inevitable. The Who were basically just kids in 1965-67, by the early 70s they were pushing 30 and with more experience/maturity, Pete Townshend wanted to do gradually bigger and more ambitious compositions than just three chord rock. Unfortunately, as Christgau noted in his review of "It's Hard", Townshend's musical ideas would never catch up to his lyrical ones.

>serious music fans
The only "serious" genres of music are those that require a deep knowledge to fully appreciate, like classical. If you listen to exclusively to indie or hip hop, you're no more serious than metalheads

>If you listen to exclusively to indie or hip hop, you're no more serious than metalheads

Yeah you're right. Christgau's lack of self-awareness is pretty comical.

But it's true. Nu-males like you can't stand their own testosterone, nevermind others. No "go back to Sup Forums" can save you from your growing mammary glands and receding hairline.

Anecdote but all the people I know who are into metal are from broken households. Nothing wrong with that but this music's clearly an escape for them

Any kind of "head" is retarded by default. Genre elitism is cancer.

>look at me, I'm a big boy who only listens to serious music for mature adults.

you can say the same thing about hip hop

Heck, so are punk and hip-hop fans.

Christgau has an incredibly diverse taste in music, especially compared to the average Sup Forumstant who seems to only listen to 60-90s Anglo pop music

Hip-hop is largely a normalfag genre. Heavy metal, not really

That wasn't the point though. The point was more that genre elitism is silly and claiming that metal is retarded wank for children while punk is totally mature, adult, intellectual music...yeah.

What does Christgau listen to that doesn't fall under the umbrella of 60-90's Anglo pop music?

Townshend notably complained he was in a "band full of hooligans", which makes his work all the more interesting because he was very clearly experimenting with stuff like noise rock in 1965 and the strength of his composition is how well he wrote around the band.

>metal
>not really
Big 4 thrash, nu-metal, alt metal and classic heavy metal bands are pretty damn normalfag. The hell are you on about? I was talking about more of the political and conscious side of hip hop, which is the vast majority. Not the trap garbage we have now.

Besides, he's notoriously provincial. He doesn't "get" European music for the most part and thinks they mutilated rock and roll, and the more New York an artist is, the better.

>I was talking about more of the political and conscious side of hip hop, which is the vast majority. Not the trap garbage we have now.
Big deal. Hip-hop has always been split between political/social consciousness stuff and in da club party tunes.

The hundreds of different of genres encompassing African music, various Brazilian and South American genres like tropicalia and brasileira, Reggae, pre-1960s jazz, pre-1960s blues, rockabilly, doo-wop, rhythm and blues

why do people like you even come to Sup Forums when you hate good music

Based

To be fair, Christgau never paid any attention to non-American black music until the 80s when it became cool for critics to like reggae and South African protest shit.

Like his review of Post?

He paid plenty of attention to Reggae even before the mid 70s when it was brought over to the US and UK.
As for African music, no duh, very few people could get their hands on African music until stuff like Soweto came out, and that was spearheaded by fans with connections whom wanted African music to get a wider appeal in the Western world (something which Christgau helped with, what with his glowing review of Omona Wapi).
To frame it as it suddenly became "cool" to like it rather than critics being exposed to a completely unique and different musical soundscape is laughable child cynicism.

That was also in the 80s, this is 2018 where you can find entire albums of Franco, Ade, Rochereau etc on youtube, what's the braindead Sup Forumstant excuse?

Fuck off. Right wingers cant like music too? Grow a pair of balls, not tits you commie piece of shit, and maybe give metal a chance while you're at it. Or keep on guzzling soy and semen, your choice.

You are probably the one who hates on music, especially on metal, and there's plenty of good metal. I actually don't give a damn about what genre certain music is, good music is good music. But people like you who are too afraid of "heavy" stuff disregarding it with a sense of superiority irks me a lot.

are you fucking retarded? then you are agreeing with me, don't tell me that most people who listen to hip hop don't come from broken households or use such music as escapism.

Yeah yeah I get you had to import music in the 80s. Still, he looked pretty ridiculous claiming that only meathead white males listen to metal when it had a fanbase all over the world even at that time. If you can get imported South African cassettes, surely you could do likewise with Brazilian or Japanese metal. Oh wait, that wouldn't fit his pre-conceived stereotype of metal fans.

>Right wingers cant like music too?
you're not a right winger lol. you're just edgy and contrarian

nice projection there buddy but i actually listen to metal. i have literally no idea where you got the idea that "i'm afraid of heavy music"

Completely irrelevant to the point.
Furthermore the fact that you opined that people only liked non 60-90s anglo pop due to ulterior motives is a perfect showcase of a small minded music taste.

White hipsters have always had this weird idea that black people are some kind of toad you lick to gain wisdom. It's actually borderline racist and they don't realize it.

youtube.com/watch?v=NHhZgcjeWJ0
if you cant groove to this get the fuck out of my board and don't come back

Yeah and yall want to genocide and kick them out of the country. Fuck you.

>reverb drenched
Not even a metalhead but it's pretty obvious he's talking about 80s hair metal.

Christgau by his own admission knew very little about black music when he first started, his perspective was very white rock/pop oriented. It took years, but eventually he championed hip-hop and also black music from other countries.

Metal is the food analogy of rock music

By it's own design metal is very niche, and designed to appeal to a minority people. The fact that so many people "don't get" metal, and look on it with disdain is entirely the point.

Wha...you think punk is any bit less niche and elitist?

>By it's own design metal is very niche, and designed to appeal to a minority people
Forgetting how massive that metal was in the 80s? Back then, metal bands were packing arenas.

yes but it went off the deep end somewhere after Slayer, where "metalheads" started demanding more br00tal edgy grindy grimdark stuff which eventually distanced it from good music and made it really stupid and overly edgy. And Pantera played a role too, Pantera is what the Sup Forumsfags these days worship like REAL hardcore music for drunk manly men to fight to, it's embarrassing.

>Intellectuals believe...
>As one of those intellectuals...
Is there a single more pretentious fuck on planet earth?

Eh? Pantera if anything ruined metal by turning it into drunk barroom brawl garbage.

Yeah you'd think a guy who makes his living writing about children's music would be a little less stuck-up.

>Rock intellectuals invariably prefer punk, alternative, even hip-hop

Wew lad. That one never gets old.

This. Its larping desu.

Wew, you really enlightened us with your arguments

Showmanship, musicianship and at the same time being extremely visceral music. Turn it up to 11, over the top, fuck yeah, not taking yourself seriously, not caring about being cool and just having fucking fun.

Can we purge boomers from this site please

Fuck Sup Forums for bringing you old fucktards in here

Demonstrably so. While hardcore and extreme punk is still made today, most of it is watered down and radio friendly. Compared to extreme metal genres like black, death and grind, punk is no where near as inaccessible.
I should have specified I'm talking about extreme metal here. Though today, bands that would have filled arenas wouldn't see anywhere near the popularity they did then.
You've missed my point. By being "more br00tal edgy grindy grimdark stuff which eventually distanced it from good music", extreme metal finds it's niche. And while it can certainly take this aesthetic to ridiculous levels, the musician ship can still be top notch. Take Scar Sighted for example, the entire album was made by one man.

Nah politics has nothing to do with this. And certainly nothing to do with the fact that older popular music is infinitely better than modern popular music and gives non normie modern music a run for its money too.
Hell, black music used to be better too.