Bidet

Hey eurbros how common is bidet use in Europe.

With your underpants on apparently

only in the shitty parts like South East Europe

This is a lie

It's everywhere in Frogland and Spain

They're mandatory and the bidet inspectors come round every week just to make sure

I saw them on a holiday in spain, thought they were for washing feet

I used one once on vacation in Italy because it was in my hotel room.
If you set the temperature just right it feelsgoodman

Ive never saw one in Britain before.

I have a hairy arse they would be useful here in Britbong. Only ever seen one house with one though.

Sometimes i wash my hands but only if there is someone with me in the toilet and I feel pressure to be hygienic for show.
Sometimes I drink water from it because its easy to aim high stream of water in my mouth, I dont have to bow very low like with normal tappet, just stand on my knees.

Never seem a bidet installed in Switzerland.
Japanese-style toilets with washing function are more common.

Hope you have your bidet license up to date, Bongbro.

So it's really us anglosphere bros who don't use these.

Not in frogland
At least not in the south

how ever did hairy subhuman caucasians clean their tangled hairy rears without walking around stinking of feces all day before the invention of cleaning machines

really makes you wonder

Świetna przynęta anonku, jedna atencja dla ciebie.

never seen one irl

>tfw you got to pay the bidet tax AND the bidet inspector tax

I suppose it's alright, if you didn't pay the bidet inspector tax, who would pay the bidet inspector? I suppose the other taxes are alright as well, if the government didn't have any money how would they be able to tax us in the first place? That's why they need those tax dollars.

Every fucking house in Spain has them.
I mean, how could you not?
Do you really think paper gets ride of everything? That is close to pooinloo-tier hygiene, for fuck's sake.
Take a dump, use paper, and then clean yourself with water and soap.
Again, how the fuck is that not common practice?

>jet of water straight at anus
No thanks

>not hiding illegal items such as fireworks, knives and laser pointers in the bidet

The perfect crime. The bidet inspector never actually bothers to inspect the bidet.
Just bribe him with a Tunnock's Tea Cake every Thursday and send him on his way.

The jet hits me right in the asshole and it tickles

>tfw have long tangled bunghole hair
>tfw I will never know the joys of getting a rimjob unless I get it waxed or something
Why live

use wet toilet paper

every bathroom in every house has one.

the quran has prescribed practice for wiping oneself with one's hand without the use of water, sand, or leaves.

you're supposed to make a certain number of semicircle swipes nd a number of up and down motions before you're considered clean

I wish I was making this up

I have a bidet upstairs but I don't use it that way since I use it to clean my ass after wiping it with toilet paper.

I just go in my bathtub to wash afterwards using my shower head.

This.

How can you live without it? How do you wash your ass after you shit?

Got one here too

I thought I was the only one who did this as a kid, now I wipe and wash though senpai

so you have to remove your pants completely? doesn't water get everywhere and drip down your leg, meaning you have a small stream of slightly infected poo water that dries on your leg

I heard there are "countries" that don't have heated toilet seats, bidets, and toilets that play soothing music while you take a poo. Is this true?

Don't you have them in the US?

If no other alternative, i would.
But it doesn't come close to the sensation of clean water.

Your mastery of loo engineering would be a great aid to the pooinloos, why don't you join your brothers in India?

They're not in the U.K at all I know that much.

you know water doesn't make things cleaner right. when you wash it's ionization from the soap that attaches to molecules and washes it away.

water doesn't do anything on its own

with paper or/and pussyphone

you just keep wiping till you stop getting brown on the paper. If it's a sticky poo a visit to the shower will be in order.

>he doesnt smear shit all his ass hair with thin paper squares

It's suffering.

you just started a war between meds and northerners

I actually have one of your great toilets. So let me thank you Japan for that.

Say what you want about them but Americans always ask the real questions

Im glad i have one, its so refreshing :)

And I suppose Germans used wet toilet paper to win the war right? I don't see how there is any use for wet toilet paper, in fact I don't see the use of any toilet paper. Can't fight terroriest with toilet paper, what am I going to do with toilet paper after I spend my time driving, and after I spend my money buying it? I don't use the damn stuff, wet or dry.

the toilet in my small office back home used to play a little obon song when you pressed a button because you could hear everything through the bamboo walls

I miss home

I hope you don't think I'm talking about normal toilet paper that has water on it. I'm talking about dedicated wet toilet paper which probably has some soap on it but I've never looked at the ingredient list.

i just rub a soap bar in my anus

I have 2 we bought them 50 years ago because my grandmother wanted one whe she was like 40 years old.

Now that shes dead it's basically a place to store used towels and such. Sort of like a cloth bin but smaller. I also use it to sometimes wash individual pieces of cloth. For a good 15 years nobody used it for it's intended purpose because we use fucking toiler paper and if you really wanna wash you ass just step into the shower jesus.

Yes, but in America, our loos are rocket launcher equipt. Vulcan Cannon for the pleb tiers.

It's a french meme. Most people use the 3 shells.

Wet wipes is the name, Klaus.

never in uk. I have a funny story about some people who came from the Indian branch of my company to see how we operate here in the UK.
>second in command had give the Indians a speaking to
>apparently there was watery poo smeared on the walls and in puddles in the toilets
>instead of using toilet paper they tried to use the sink as a bidet
>can't help but be reminded of that story when ever I use the upstairs toilets.

Why do you cocksuckers make threads that belong on fucking Sup Forums?

...

Thats not very clean, you should ALWAYS wash your ass after you shit and a bidet is very quick and comfortable

Well I usually just use my boxer briefs and wipe using that, that way I save a lot of money and I can reuse and continue wearing the briefs taking them wherever I go, so I am never unable to wipe.

we're so superior our country and bodies have expanded into a whole continent and cut off contact with the outside world except for ou tell-o-visions. we don't know what the barbaric practices in carolingan europe are.

do you walk around with broadswords in case someone disgraceth your honor?

Slide thread.

I've never been in a house without a bidet. Even my school had one.