Theater Trashing General /TTG/

>Oh I'm so sorry you have to work on Christmas Mr. Popcorn Broom Monkey.
*turns full large popcorn upside down*
Oh whoops, clumsy me. >Guess I better go get another free refill.
*smirks*
>Pick it up.

>YEAR TWOTHOUSAND TWENTY.
>GOING TO THE CINEMA THEATRE.

fuckin savages

>slip on a carelessly overturned casket of crableg butter sauce
>jewishly threaten to sue the theater
>they give me a lifetime supply of shower tokens if I drop the suit

not a bad deal desu

do americans actually do this?
why?

My theater would have told me to go fuck myself, they actually have a lawyer on retainer.

Are we playing guess the country ?

There are enough assholes out there who think just because they hire somebody to clean up that they should make the biggest mess possible.

>one of the gimp seats is open (basically padded toilet seats where the regular cinema seat should be, you're supposed to put a bucket the cinema gives you under it so literal retards can piss and shit while watching films, one is on each side all the way back in the nosebleed seats so they don't bother people)
>load up on snacks with my EBT card; popcorn, nachos, hotdogs, burgers, sodas, mini pizzas, Milk Duds, the works
>claim my comfy gimp seat
>"in with the new, out with the old" non-stop for the entire duration of the film, have half a mind to think I'm pissing and shitting beverages and food I ate earlier in the film
>film's over, get up to leave
>I forgot to get a bucket
>big mucousy turds running down an aisle turned into a slip-'n'-slide of piss and spilled soda (and a tiny little bit of blood, I don't get enough fiber)
>big box of plain nachos I didn't eat (because the meat and cheese was on the nachos on the top) falls out of my lap and spills all over the place
>try to catch it and accidentally knock the rest of my soda over
I'd hate to be the one who had to clean that up, they probably closed that theater for the rest of the day and lost thousands of dollars on canceled screenings.

>paying $59.99 for a small popcorn
>throwing it on the floor

to what end

spotted the wageslave :^)

>he got stuck in a etsubatsu seat

Low IQ. Can't help themselves.

omg
!
the anonymous army is FULL of epic irl trolls

US TEEVEE MEMESTERS, HUH!!!! :)

REMEMBER TO PUT ME IN LE EPIC SCREENCAP ON REDDIT!!! XD

heh I just did pic related tonight on R1

To me i don't dump my popcorn/soda all over the floor and stick chewing gum on the floor and seats because I'm a bad guy. I do it to help the workers at the theater build more character. Without me testing them they are liable to get lazy without having constant challenges at their work. If there is some unintended punishment for their poor academics/career decisions (because let's be honest, they probably weren't the top of their class if they're working there) then so be it. But that is not my intent.

>finish watching movie at home
>"Haha fuck you mom whoops clumsy me"
>spill half my bucket of popcorn on the floor
>get mouth washed out with soap

It's free refills so why not?

Jesus, I don't know how you autists come up with this shit.

It's a fucking copypasta you goddamn tourist.

OP here I'm european

>be a pleb
>eat candy and a slushee
>put candy wrapper under slushee as I eat/drink
>finish slushee, don't finish candy, movie ends
>take candy wrapper and put in in empty slushee container
>put candy in right back jeans pocket
>see someone else's trash next to me when leaving
>don't pick it up
>dispose of my own trash in an orderly matter
>go home
>finish candy next day
>throw it out
>dispose of whole trash bin when gov't comes to collect

I'M SORRY

>big mucousy turds running down an aisle turned into a slip-'n'-slide of piss and spilled soda (and a tiny little bit of blood, I don't get enough fiber)

I trash the theater but tip everyone a little extra for the opportunity, don't wanna be a dick

Pick up that can

I do this too

What kind of third world shithole do you live in that the fucking government picks up your garbage?

I've seen a lot of anvil/falcon posting. I've never seen gimp seats.

>tfw the guards confiscate your 2 liter of spaghetti and your entire dinnerware set

Now what the fuck am I supposed to eat? I already spend 60$ on an assigned seat singles ticket, I can't afford crab legs on top of that

fuck off back to rebbit you piece of shit

>implying copypasta springs into being unauthored

do any of you guys sometimes eat some of the leftover popcorn?

Come to think of it I've been an autistic unsocial NEET my entire life and I'd really enjoy this job. Just kind of chillin all alone in the theater cleaning up trash, popcorn, and cum.

Not to mention I assume you get to see movies for free. This would be a dream job.

Too bad I know they would make me fucking sell tickets or sell food/beverages. I couldn't handle that.

>tfw your local theater starts cracking down on masturbators and popcorn sharers

>sometimes

Usually if i'm being honest. But i scope out who has it when people are ehtting up and only take it from people that look clean.

...

>Sup Forums decides to open a movie theater
>$49.99 plus tip for small popcorn
>designated showers
>mandatory penis inspection
>crab legs everywhere
>half toilet half seats with turds running down the aisles

>being so poor you can't easily spend 150$ + at the kinoplex

Holy shit user

what about the falcon pens?

...

>no anvils
>no ballpits

What do you guys order when you go there? Since I was a kid I always get the same thing.

Sour Patch Kids and Cherry Coke. Of course I buy this at the 7-11 for $3.00 bucks instead of paying $15.00 at the theater a block away.

I get this fucking rush knowing if they found me sneaking contraband in I would be shot on sight.

>he brings in his own food
Pleb

There is no way I'm spending 60$+ on snacks for 1

>He pays $227.99 for a small Coke and a Crunch bar

Excuse me? Everyone in high school had to do this job. We all get a turn in the captain's chair. Do you not understand the concept of job creation? Thomas Sowell? The Chicago school of economic thought?

>ive never worked a hard day in my life
>the post

Nothing Personnel, Kid: The Post

This t b h

>I get this fucking rush knowing if they found me sneaking contraband

legit question Sup Forums, are there actually theatres that 'stop you' from bringing in food you didn't buy from them? for the longest time i thought it was just shitposting along side the singles policy and theatre showers, but some people talk about it with some worrying sincerity. is it an american thing?

>doing manual labor
Wagecuck.

I usually bring a bottle of vodka andand abottle of tonic

United States

>Let's see... a small popcorn and a small Coke.... that'll be $23.75, plus tip

It really depends on the theater and if the employees give a shit. I've just carried drinks in to some theaters and no one said anything, and sometimes they'll make you throw it away.

If you're anything like me, you don't bother at those overpriced concession stands. What do you guys sneak in to the theater for that cinematic Yum Factor?

Me?

1.) Fifteen potato salad sandwiches on Hawaiian rolls.
2.) Six hard boiled eggs (unpeeled until the show begins to preserve flavor)
3.) Two large Tupperware containers (one for the wife) filled to the brim with Mac and cheese and a little bit of hotdog (plus Tabasco for that kick)

How about it boys??

You sound like an alcoholic.

Is this an american thing? I've legitimately never heard of rules relating to "banned food items" before, no matter how much the employees give a shit.

I usually bring a giant ass water jug and if they confront me I just tell them I need to drink a set amount of water each day because of a health condition but actually the jug is full of everclear and i am getting fucking blitzed moana and driving the kids home

I've only ever been to an American theater so I couldn't tell you.

I have literally walked with a six pack in my hands to a movie

>just tell them I need to drink a set amount of water each day because of a health condition

Oh well sir we do sell Aquafina at the concession stand. I'm afraid you'll have to throw away the jug and purchase water from there or leave the theater.

>tfw your cinemas employees went on strike and the cinema showers have mould growing in them

yet they still won't let you in unless you shower before hand

>mould
Commonwealth fag pls go

>littering

I don't know how people do this and not feel like a piece of shit

OP wouldn't do that if it was a 5'2" manlet with brittle bone disease

>go to cinema with my half empty piss bottle (employee said it was half full)
>they tell me i cant bring in drinks
>tell me to either drink it or leave
>i already paid for my ticket

>walking dog
>chat up qt, which holds me up
>Force Awakens premier tonight
>can't bring the dog back home
>bring him into the theatre
>some faggot with a poodle walks in
>try to get past the line with my reserved tickets before they can
>bag-checker lets her through without question, doesn't even check her purse
>he stops me to look into my fucking pockets
>pokes his ruler down my pants to probe for falcon food and makes a joke about my penis size
>"at least its not inspection day"
>finally get through
>their doggy day care is full
>have to go home
>bag checker winks at me on way out
>go home
>check my pockets before putting them through the wash
>he found my hidden pocket with the falcon food
>left me a note
>"caught ya red handed big boy~ call me! ^^"
>call him
>yell at him over the phone
>try to fall asleep
>awakened by knocking
>walk to door
>lean ear against it
>heavy breathing
>hand shaking
>turn knob
>open the door
>get on the floor
>walk the dinosaur

Can't imagine what an indian cinema will look/smell like

>not being part of the commonGOAT

have fun when russia nukes the US and nobody gives A FUCK

Wagecucks would be unemployed and homeless if it wasn't for people like us. I always smile when I pass them as I leave the theater. Sometimes they even thank me. Oh brother.

I just want you guys to know that every time I read a funny story about outrageous things that don't exist at theaters it makes me happy.

My entire life I've watched funny movies with friends and family and never once laughed but for some reason this shit cracks me up.


Am I Retarded?

>Am I Retarded?

yes

What a fucking mess.

It's more of a social contract thing. Outside food and drink are technically prohibited, but at large chains regular employees aren't allowed to call you out.