You will die unless football player you pick score a penalty

You will die unless football player you pick score a penalty
>pic related
>inb4 people who wanna die today

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Beckham

Martin Palermo

I want to die anyway

Peortti, he's the best penalty taker i ever saw
youtube.com/watch?v=3U5b60g8K68
sorry for the edgy music and editing, it's the only video i could find

>inb4 zaza.webm

the barcelona guy who flops

Obviously I would pick the best ever football player, Lionel Messi. No way this can go wrong.

he would miss it three times to make sure you are dead

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that's VERY vague

im already a very unlucky guy so pic related will cancel out my shit luck

Am i safe?

Assuming he's fit, Reus

my boy charles never fails them

What we doing tomorrow then boys?

Alexis Sanchez

47 out of 48 pens scored in his career

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Robert Lewandowski

He hasn't missed any penulty in years now.

I pick Zaza. Just end my suffering.

c-can i pick him too?

Le epic shit on field man

this shit right here

I pick Zidane and he scores a panenka!!

southampton era lambert

I pick Lewa, that was easy

the suffering would end at last

Le Southampton penalties man

lewadickski or barry thwkane

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The correct answer.

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Isn't that bloke supposed to be gud? Seemed like a lazy bum for Vitória

As he ever missed one?

He is playing really well for Fluminense

unironically balotelli

I choose myself
>relying on another man to bail you out
cuck mentality

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>Choosing yourself out of pride and arrogance when there's clearly better options available

Try hard false alpha pretending to be a "leader" spotted

The real question is, who's the goalie?

is this shopped? no way he's that skinny

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Le Tissier. Never missed a penalty in his career iirc, or maybe he missed one.

He's doing well on Flu, but what really matters is that no one has been able to catch his penaltys so far this season.

This, patrician choice

>not having faith in your abilities
massive, massive beta detected

Penaldo

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ZAZA

TSUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU

Litmanen took propably over two hundred penalties during his career. Hit the post twice, rest went in.

You can stop posting in this topic now since there is absolutely no point of picking anybody else.

balotelli

He missed his last penalty kek

I take the shot myself. Leaving your fate in another mans hands is the highest form of cuckold

Hazard

This nigga gets it. Congrats germanbro

+99% "choices" you make have already been taken by someone else

Does soccer not keep stats?

This is pure cuck mentality

*smashes it in the top corner*

It isn't as easy as in American sports where only 20 or 30 teams exist in the whole world

No, it's called capitalism

So why not leave the rest in other people's hands as well?
Proper beta.

Yes. Jotting something down in a spreadsheet is so fucking difficult. Why are third worlders so incompetent?

You probably don't feel it so deep in you because you were lucky enough to be born as a white male in a first world country, but at the time you are born most of your life is already chosen for you and there isn't much you can do about it

Computers are really ecpensive mate. Check your privelege. Most of these people grow up in hovels and would marvel at superior american lifestyle of electricity and running water. Maybe we should donate some bic pens and legal pads to give them a boost?

How does that apply to the question at hand, you fucking idiot?

Please keep posting. Im having the best laugh ive had in weeks. Please elaborate on how my life is predetermined

Which question, taking the penalty? There are thousands of people who kick a ball for a living, they are by definition better than you at it

A smart choice would be let it to someone else. In the same way you don't represent yourself in court not psychoanalise yourself

What an utterly hopeless individual.

Would you do your own surgical interventions just because you are an enlightment and empowered individual? That's just being autistic, insecure and afraid of interaction

Wait wtf? Soccer doesnt keep stats? How is this possible?

A real man would
www.bbc.com/news/magazine-32481442

Strawman.

Ya, because there wasn't anyone else to do it

According to argentina its because its too hard to write stuff down. This is the same brilliant mind currently lecturing on nuanced subjects like capitalism and philosophy. Please pull up a chair. Im making popcorn

So instead of accepting his predetermined fate he took his life in his own hands you say?

this thread is a fucking disgrace

ez survival

Can I take the Argentina's Men National team in penalty kicks in championship games?

this

A solid 7 if i ever saw one

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This gormless-looking fucker. He had a 98% career conversion rate for penalties.

and 100% pie consumption conversion rate.

He missed one and never took another one after that. I wouldn't trust him

he got exposed

Higuain

What could go wrong?

This.
He only misses when it actually matters

This thread makes it easy to spot the redditcucks.

>Ctrl F
>"Alan Shearer"
>0 results

What's the average age on Sup Forums these days? 17?

Ronaldo, tell him he gets all of messis balloon d'ors if he makes it and gets to take his shirt of in front of messi's family

>He says this while posting on a website with an MLP section

100% conversion rate reporting in

Not really

My nigga

is there a stastic whose players penalties were most on target? I feel like that's a bigger factor than stirctly conversion rate, especially with the small sample sizes we're provided

I pick that guy who shot the last peno at the African Cup something like 2-3 years ago against Drogba's. Either a spectacular goal or i am dead. Wouldn't have it any other way