Did Harry Potter JUST Harder than any other Fictional Character?

>Marries high school girl he dated for two months
>tfw cliche "marry best friend's sister" trope
>Burnout Quidditch Star
>Goes from killing dark lord to filling out paperwork everyday
>Cucked into naming his son after a man who manipulated his life and another man who made his life a living hell because he was too beta to ask his mom out
>Didn't get with based Luna or Hermione

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I know she was his best friend's sister and he was her childhood crush, but if you take her alone she's top level waifu.

>Luna
You can stick it in crazy but never stick WITH crazy.

>Hermione
Dunno, wouldn't have felt right. Plus she kinda turned into a bitch in the last movies, but maybe that's just my hate for the actress talking

Hermione for him worked perfectly and her being with Ron made zero sense done only for retarded shippers.

Ginny is no doubt a consolation prize.

What the fuck kind of a name is Albus Severus

It honestly comes as no surprise since he's in one of the dullest franchises in history. Seriously each episode following the boy wizard and his pals from Hogwarts Academy as they fight assorted villains has been indistinguishable from the others. Aside from the gloomy imagery, the series’ only consistency has been its lack of excitement and ineffective use of special effects, all to make magic unmagical, to make action seem inert.

Perhaps the die was cast when Rowling vetoed the idea of Spielberg directing the series; she made sure the series would never be mistaken for a work of art that meant anything to anybody?just ridiculously profitable cross-promotion for her books. The Harry Potter series might be anti-Christian (or not), but it’s certainly the anti-James Bond series in its refusal of wonder, beauty and excitement. No one wants to face that fact. Now, thankfully, they no longer have to.

>a-at least the books were good though
"No!"
The writing is dreadful; the book was terrible. As I read, I noticed that every time a character went for a walk, the author wrote instead that the character "stretched his legs."

I began marking on the back of an envelope every time that phrase was repeated. I stopped only after I had marked the envelope several dozen times. I was incredulous. Rowling's mind is so governed by cliches and dead metaphors that she has no other style of writing. Later I read a lavish, loving review of Harry Potter by the same Stephen King. He wrote something to the effect of, "If these kids are reading Harry Potter at 11 or 12, then when they get older they will go on to read Stephen King." And he was quite right. He was not being ironic. When you read "Harry Potter" you are, in fact, trained to read Stephen King.

...

What the fuck kind of name is "Newt"?

Why didn't Harry fuck Hermione?

Perhaps the die was cast

fucking mutt

Right on schedule. Good to see you.

...

Is it strange that I come into Harry Potter threads just to see how he takes the op and uses it to transition into the pasta. Its an art unto itself

>Didn't get with based Luna or Hermione

I know it's bait but this actually makes sense, like why the hell harry didn't end with hermione?

I've got no hate for Ron but damn it, I disliked it so much

OP here, the Hermione part wasn't even bait. That's what I was hoping would happen throughout the series.

I don't dislike Ron either, but she and him fought way too much for them to conceivably work in any adult relationship

At least Newt is short for Newton and a nickname. Albus Severus is probably the most autistic name in the series

His older brother is named Theseus.
His name is Newt.

His parents fucking hate him more than Harry hates his own children.

shes actually too hot for him

>Harry has the hallows
>Newt has the suitcase

WHO WOULD WIN?

The manchildren and womenchildren of tumblr and reddit

HOTTIE

Newt, Newt a million times. We've already fucking established this.

Autist, Lotr is a masterwork, kill yourself, here is your (you)

Harry has beaten every animal he's come across, though.

He should have married Draco. Rowling is an anti-fag bigot.

Yeah, one on one. Imagine if they all came at him. The swooping evil and the occamies would destroy him if he got on his broom, and everything else would fuck him up on the ground.

Don't forget that Newt has a nundu, which is literally 10 times stronger than a dragon.

>implying Newt trained all his animals to be attack dogs

Really? he couldn't even control his erumpent and niffler

There was such obvious sexual tension between them. I dare anyone to look at this and tell me this isn't the same as a boy pulling a qt girl's pigtails for attention.

Thank you, you're my favorite shitposter

Harry lowkey hated mudbloods and din't wanted to soil his wizard blood.

Is this where I post that Draco should have been a girl? Because Draco should have been a girl.

youtu.be/OsIz-aG076g I am a paid shill bot do not reply to this post

They'll fight if they feel threatened. It's what animals do.

Also, look how he interacts with the thunderbird and the nundu. Nobody can control nifflers, not even Hagrid. And he was doing fine with the erumpent until Jacob spilled pheromones everywhere.

Fuck off you fan fiction piece of shit ban evader

i'd spill my pheromones inside newt if you know what i mean

Oh dear, looks like the Newt homoposter is back
Please don't stop

This.
There is also a chance that Rowling will reveal that Draco is transgender.

I wrote your fill, user

kek it would be neville

>Harry divorces Ginny
>marries milf Draco
>his son can be with his best friend

I actually genuinely want this.

I know you did, and it was amazing. I left you a review. I was travelling for the past few days but now I'm working on yours.

took me way too long to figure out this is pasta. thought people just saved the picture because theyve only read 5 books in their life

i tip my fedora to you sir

what's the enchantment for making pictures move?

what's the most kino HP movie?

the one without HP in the title

I agree with this headcanon

all the "Draco should have been a girl" posters need to go back
>>>/tumblr/
>>>/deviantart/

This.

IDrarryfags are annoying.

Rowling said she wanted to make the ending one where everyone was a big happy family but as she wrote she realized Harry and Hermione had better chemistry but she forced her big happy family ending anyway by pairing off Hermione with Ron and Harry with Ginny.

Mind you I think it was maximum cuck to shack up with Ginny considering she hopped from boyfriend to boyfriend and was obviously fucking and sucking in broom closets.

Harry should have ended up with Luna, they were perfect for each other.

Luna was fucking shit. And the actress went full potato

How is OP a ban evader? I'm a newfag are we not allowed I mobile post or something?

Rowling has said a lot of garbage after the fact her words are worthless now. However. She was right about harry and Hermione

i'd mash that potato

This is such bait but I love it

Yes well done Rowling, Well done Rowling

>HOWEVER

>din't wanted to soil his wizard blood.

Isn't he a half-blood?

i just want a scene where harry is nailing him/her from behind and draco goes "potter!" with disgust before having a mind-blowing orgasm

Not at all.

Then why didn't he fuck Luna?

half-blood prince

You're doing God's work.

>Didn't get with based Luna or Hermione
Hermione and Luna don't fuck manlets, sorry self-inserting cuck.

Nah, only reason I even visit these threads as well.