What was your worst experience with airport security Sup Forums?

What was your worst experience with airport security Sup Forums?

The only time I ever had any kind of interaction with TSA beyond them just calling me up and waving me through was when they searched my bag because I had a big ass metal crucifix in it.

>tfw my keychain has a small multi tool on it and when i put my keys on the carrousel to get scanned they didn't say anything

I had a small knife on me the entire time I flew from Alberta to Ontario.

What a bunch of tools.

...

That one time my mates pulled a prank on my by putting a metal bar in my bag, sandwiched between layers of gay porn magazines.

I once had to put my laptop in a plastic bin.

Once they left my bag in Miami and was mailed to me.

I got thrown to the ground and my anus fingered because I had one of those pressurized bottles of sunscreen in my backpack.

>Mexican airports

>be white
>never had a bad time

There is no worst. There is only pre-Bush and post-Bush.

Which needs to be changed. That stupid frat whore has been out of office for 7 years now.

Going through security with my small baby is just about the worst shit imaginable

They found the drugs I tried to smuggle into the country.

>be American at japanese customs
>old as fuck granny is in charge
I...i have to pat you down...i-is that alright?
Sure.
>she pats my hips and butt, turns beet red and stares at the floor
>s-sorry. All done now

If she had been younger it would have been just like my animes

You're getting the wrong impression. It just goes to show how poorly trained and retarded our security is. If they don't know what a multi tool with a folding knife looks like, how can they secure the airport?

I've been through multiple airports several times since 9/11. No problems, but it's more tedious/slow than pre-9/11. I miss the good old days when your friend or family could walk with you all the way to boarding.

>Visit Thailand for holiday
>Come back home
>Airline personnel inspect my luggage
>Theres a bullet in it
>Tell them I didnt visit Thailand for guns
>They take me to some room in the airport
>Tell me I have to give them half my pocket money or I'm going get stuck in the airport for a long time

Good thing I spent most of my cash in Thailand.

I was laughed at by airport security in Quito, Ecuador for taking off my shoes. Didn't even register that they might not give a fuck about how the US does things.

>Give us your money pinoy
Is brown people life just corrupt like that?

they swabbed my fingers for plastic explosives. singled me out while I was reading my paper, upset the shit out of me

i showed my passport and that jerk said "turkish passport" with an disgusted impression on his face. i thought he was going to spit or puke to my face :'(

what did he mean by that?

On the good side of things, it did eliminate panhandling, religious solicitation, and freed up seating when they restricted airside to ticketed passengers only. Still have to watch out for bag thieves.

>be US Army vet
>Working in NYC as a construction worker
>they did small blasts on a site before I started working on it
>get to LaGaurdia
>they pull me aside
>test my timberland work boots
>have slight explosive residue on it
>cut open the entire shoe
>rip it apart
>all while NYPD is staring me down
>don't find anything
>miss my flight
>stuck in lagaurdia with no shoes for 6 hours till next one
>board plane in socks

Its a good rule of thumb here to assume every stranger you meet wants to rob you given the opportunity.

he was having a completely natural reaction to being around a turk.

>Travel to PH
>only bring hardsided luggage with no exterior pockets
>TSA locks on the zippers
>never have any issues with airport staff

Guess it's just too hard to mess with someone who doesn't use/carry easily compromised luggage.

I'm more worried about the shitton of people standing outside the checkin for no fucking reason whatsoever. Why is this allowed?

>TSA dickheads pull my 85 year old grandma out of her wheelchair
>two of them hold her up by her arms while one uses the wand to search her for 10 minutes
>I'm twelve and this really rustles my jimmies
>dad looks at me
>"Good thing we hid the explosives on your grandpa."

My brother had something similar. He is an engineer in the Canadian Military, tried to get on a plane with C4 residue on his military pack. Luckily he was wearing his uniform thing and it was a plane full of Army personnel. He didn't get into to much trouble.

>be me, white British male

>go to jew York

>get off plane at jfk

>queue like a civilised person

>put all my shit in the tray

>walk through metal detector

>good day sir

>I nod and smile

>get my shit

>show passport at the booth

>why are you here user?

>holiday , I want to experience Newyork and see the sights yadayadayada

>how long?

>A week

> thank you sir enjoy your stay


> get bag (perfectly fine)

>go to hotel

>8/10 would go again

I'm surprised British isn't a red flag for the TSA by now.

>Be white
>Empty pockets and place them on the x-ray
>They don't even take my knife

This was in 2013 desu. I am very white tho

Doing my PhD in chemistry so work in the lab almost daily. Leave directly from the lab to catch a flight and get pulled out to be tested for chemical residue. End up having a positive for nitrates as I had been doing work with them. Explain what I do and who to contact about to prove it. End up missing my flight.

how did you get your brown loli wife past them?

It's a good life isn't it

put my shit on a conveyor belt, stepped into a scanner, got my shit back. they never touched me. lady was nice about it too.

How do I get a female TSA agent to cavity search me? It's my fetish.

>gf puts phone charger in my carry-on without telling me
>sets off the fucking thingie
>security trying to go through bag
>has trouble opening it
>instinctively reach to help
>security reaches to draw sidearm "don't touch the bag, sir"
>"sorry sorry sorry"
>all good after that

Also you guys have 10x the airport security.

see anything gud in my hometown user?

I'm white and trustworthy so I once got an intimidating glance from security. Shook me

Work at an airport and everyday I go in TSA is shit, for some reason I always get the 'random' search and it's nothing but a pain in the ass.

I don't know actually, I just walk through UK security as well.

I really really enjoyed Trump tower, very spiritual, I also love your street food. Diabetus maximus but tasty af

As someone who has worked in airport security, I'm almost certain that most horror stories are manufactured by people, who go apeshit over the simplest of things.

>French woman has a handful of lighters in her bag.
>Have to search the bag and take them out.
>She throws a tantrum and starts violently emptying her bag on the counter, throwing stuff around.
>Gets louder and louder, shouts how her bag doesn't have any lighters there.
>After a while, four lighters drop on the counter.
>Packs her bag in total silence and angrily walks away after she has collected all of her stuff.
I'm sure she felt like she was basically raped by the security.

This kind of stuff happened very often, especially with the French.
They always threw a hissyfit if there was something wrong with their bags.
Out of all people, Americans were always the easiest to deal with.
Very laid back attitudes and seemed to be among the few nationalities that didn't go through a nervous breakdown in the security check.

>random

I'm guessing your not white

Coming back from deployments and not having to go through security in Iraq or Kuwait but having to go through security in uniform in Maine

Posting kinda late but here we go

>New dad
>traveling with wife and 9 month old daughter to visit my senpai
>My wife has breastmilk that she needs to bring obv for the baby
>has to be stored in more than 3oz increments or else we would literally be traveling with like 20 bottles.
>TSA shits itself over our milk bombs
>try to talk to the lady supervisor to see if she would understand
>bigmistake.png
>turns out she is a child hating cunt who has nothing to live for in life except her """""""""""national security""""""""""""""
> While they are hassling my wife over the milk I have to walk through the x-ray with my child in arms.
>they swipe my hands for GSR.
> I conceal carry and was at the range the day before
> test comes back positive
> TSA literally shits itself
> cops and suits out of nowhere
> wife, child, and I whisked away into a back room before I can even begin to protest
> They frisk my wife and I..literally everything
> they say they need to check my daughters diaper
>fuck that
>say that if they tough my daughter I will fucking kill them
>get charged with threatening a federal officer
>miss our flight
>no vacation
>battle in court for months
> drop out of college because we cant afford daycare over court fees
> have to sell everything I have worked for in my life
>charged dropped
>now I am in the process of suing them
> Im at a low point in my life
> struggling marriage, in counseling
> all because of wanna be cops that make you take your shoes off

I've never met a French person but I'm pretty sure they deserve to become a caliphate.

Refused to go through the scanner or receive a pat down and they threatened to call the cops

I told them I'd love to talk to a real cop

Was asked to leave and I spent Christmas alone that year.

She probably gets off hard to it

I told them i was a member of the mile high club so they detained me

I was once pulled aside for a full-body patdown at Reagan National in DC for an early-morning flight. Two TSA guys took me into a room made from snowed-glass windows and had me stand still while they felt me up for whatever. Contrary to horror stories you hear about the TSA going Gestapo, they were very clear about what they were doing and gave me verbal warning before they patted down sensitive areas. After they finished I went through the scanner and that was that. There wasn't anything really bad about it, just an inconvenience and only time it's happened.

I'm convinced they didn't see me as a potential security risk (I'm white) and simply had a quota for searches they had to meet, so just chose someone going through security at a time things weren't very busy.

>mfw grabbed backpack I used for target shooting last week.
>TSA man's eyes widen as he scans backpack.
>Pulls out 3 .308 rounds and a couple .22lr
>Say "Its Ok, I'm from Oregon."
>TSA man chucks ammo into trash and I board the plane.

I had a Mul-T-Lock pick in my carry-on bag that I had just purchased at a security convention in Vegas (not DEFCON). Took me 30 minutes to explain to them it was not a weapon. 3 separate supervisors were involved. A YouTube video showing the tool being used saved me. Pic related.

Fucking scammers.

Well that was a depressing escalator post :( I feel for you user

haha Yes! Trump tower is breddy based, he's done a lot of good for the city.

Did you get dollar pizza user? (if you didn't you'll need to go back)

at the end of the day, I still have my family, our health and safety so I can not complain too much. Once this is over I am moving to the middle of nowhere and living peacefully with my family

while I was waiting for a connecting flight in O'Hare I had to go outside for several smokes only to waste an hour and a half to pass through security back inside the terminal
fuck Chicago and its no smoking policy

>random search
>pain in the ass

I see wat u did ther, m8

this one time in brussels

Nice try, Juan

Waiting THREE FUCKING HOURS IN LINE AT CHICAGO OHARE. Never fucking again.

I've never been on an airport but i have some experience with Courtroom (tribunal, whatever) security.

>be me
>have to cancel some legal action against another court verdict
>step into the Appeal court, right in the middle of Bucharest
>metal detector and luggage scanner at the entrance
>Gendarmes everywhere
>Put my bag in the scanner
>empty my pockets and attempt to pass through metal detector
>BEEEEEP
>Bored Gendarme comes to me and feels my pockets
>Second attempt
>BEEEEP
>Oh silly me its the belt buckle
>HAHA it happens all the time ok buddy you're clear
>.
>.
>.
>later that day
>arrive home
>sit down because tired
>Feel something hard pressed against my butt
>Its my pocket knife
>Mfw i got through a metal scanner with a weapon in my rear pocket
>Mfw i could have been arrested

>Did you get dollar pizza user? (if you didn't you'll need to go back)

Now I didn't, I have heard about these and it's something I regret. I did buy a 15 dollar pizza in a restaurant plus a 5 dollar tip! It was Italian meatball tho so very tasty.

I basically lived on bagels and hot dogs.

That sounds like the true American dream user, hope it works out lad

sorry senpai, but it looks like that shit is here to stay for awhile. boomers chose to trade our freedom for "security" before we were old enough to do anything about it

>Partied all night before flight
>Vodka and pizza
>Worst combination ever
>Blow serious chunks in the hotel
>Almost missed ride to the airport
>Get to the airport
>Get through security fine
>Oh god, gotta puke again
>Inch my way to the bathroom
>Nope
>Blow more chunks in a garbage can
>Run to the bathroom
>Projectile vomit in the toilet
>Dry heave for about 5 minutes
>Oh shit my flight
>Walk back feeling better
>Get stopped by airport security
>"Sir, are you going to be okay?"
>"Yeah, I partied a little too hard last night, I'm feeling better now"
>"Are you sure? We can move your flight until you're feeling better"
>"No I have to get on this one, my ride at Sea-Tac is expecting me"
>"Alright then sir" hands me a bag to vomit in "Hope you don't throw up on the plane and have a good flight"
>"Thank you very much"
>Fucking cunts...

No worst experience. Just bad experiences overall.

I always fuck up something and they are always rude about it. It's always a minority though so I could give a fuck. Being a TSA worker is about the closest they will get to a "real job"

What a bunch of bastards

They keep touching my junk, like every time. And then they get all offended when I try to pay!

My mum decided it was a good idea to leave perfume in her bag once. Had to wait 10 minutes while they fished it out and inspected it.
Even in the USA I've never personally had a problem with airport security.

>be muslim
>don't look shady as fuck
>have an american passport
>leave with no trouble
>everything went better than expected

political correctness grants you an easier travel experience

Ran away from home for a night as a teenager, parents reported it to the police, but I came back, we let them know I was fine, etc. 2 years later we do a family cruise in Alaska and fly in through Vancouver. Canadian authorities held us up and questioned my dad because in their system I was still missing and they thought he was an abductor.

Good going, fucking leaves

That time I flew into Miami with a bag of weed in my rectum and there was an agent and a lab retriever at the bottom of the escalator.

there's loads of narcotics in FL, that's like taking sand to the beach

>be me, Iranian
>Go to dubai / armenia ect...
>On the way there, me and my brother are speaking in farsi and english laughing about random shit
>People around us smile because we dont have 11ft beards and we sound american
>Only get full body scanned once in my life, every other time white people are subjected to it even though we joke about it going to be us instead.
>Airport staff / security are super nice and we always make them laugh and they are relaxed around us
>THEN I GO TO REDDIT AND BERATE THEM AND SAY THAT I WAS RAPED LITERALLY AND EMOTIONALLY WHEN A BLACK CHILD LOOKED MY WAY AND SCREAMED ALLAH AKBAR AND SAID I HAD A BOMB.
>FUCKING AIRPORT SECURITY! I WAS FUCKING RAPED BY A FUCKING WHITE MALE.

Really though, never had a bad experience. Even one time I left one of my small survival packs in my wallet that had a knife in it to get into a police station. they told me about it and I was confused but when I saw it I explained to them what it was and they just said put it in the car and come back. No heated debate about "Its a feminine peni-.. I mean knife". Just said "Yes sir" and I took it back.

Coming back from Thailand after spending 3 months backpacking was the absolute worst experience.

>return to Canada
>in Vancouver international airport, still had to connect to Winnipeg flight
>get stopped by sandnigger security after they scan my bags
>"do you mind if i check whats in your luggage?"
>i didn't oppose but mentioned I had a flight to catch in 20 minutes
>they rip my bags apart and even empty my sunblock and toothpaste
>cut holes in the lining of my bags
>THEN
>after they didn't find anything illegal in my luggage they take me to an interview room
>at this point i was pissed because i was going to miss my flight
>in room getting interviewed by 2 fucking sandnigger isis sympathizers
>get asked what I did, where I stayed, who i saw etc etc
>then the real questions started to come
>"did you at any point hire a prostitute while there?"
>"at any point did you engage in sexual activity with a minor?"
>"did you consume any illegal substances?"
>"did you traffic any illegal substances?"
>"did you work illegally?"
>"did you trade or sell any of your personal identification"


I pretty much snapped and said I wasn't answering anymore questions until I could speak with my lawyer, which was my uncle.

I got home fine and the airport had to pay for my flight but that experience made me fucking furious. Im a fucking Canadian citizen and im being harassed but some fucking mud singers when im just trying to go home.

Another story from the airport, this was with Jews.
First time I've ever seen proper Israel jews in my life.

>They're trying to bring in a 1 litre bottle of juice.
>Sorry, this has to go. Maximum size for liquids is 100ml.
>Nyaa, no no! We want to take it with us.
>Sorry, it's a no go.
>Divide the 1l between all of us, then we can take it?
>No, besides there's only 3 of you and the container has to be 100ml.
>How about we drink a little out of it, so it's 300ml and then we take it?
>No, the container itself has to be 100ml.
After 5 minutes of arguing over the damn bottle of juice, which probably cost 2€ to the family, they said.
>OK, YOU TAKE IT!!
>What you think we are, Palestinians?
And they gave me a condescending sneer.
I hadn't even gotten redpilled at that point and didn't really know what the hell to make out of that comment, but they were like walking stereotypes.

That's the way it should be done.
People often forget shit like this in their bags, it's no cause to go crazy and call the cops.
>Find a hatchet in the back bag of some guy who's on a connecting flight from Asia.
>Throw the axe away, journey goes on.
As long as people don't make a fuss over the things that are going to get removed, it's all good.

Are you fucking retarded? Do you seriously believe this shit you stupid muricuck? Are you proposing that white people have a harder time with airport security than brown people when brown people are the reason why we can't bring in a bottle of water into a fucking plane anymore?

I am one of the only white people working here.

One time they found my pistol and I had to shoot my way out. Currently on the run still living in a mudhut in Antigua.

>What was your worst experience with airport security Sup Forums?

By far it was once when I was flying through Detroit. I was in a car accident and was left incontinent, and have to wear absorbent briefs (adult diapers). The women pulled them all out of their bag in my carry-on and placed them each on the bench in plain view to ask me about them, then proceeded to unfold each of them to wipe them down with the scanning pad, while making me explain what they were and that I needed to wear them after a car accident. That is in the middle of a busy line and was horribly embarrassing. I would have complained, but I did not want to make a bigger issue of something I try to keep very private

Had other issues with patdowns in the past, but they usually have been more discreet, with the worst once having to show them what I had on, normally though they just discretely ask what is is, then get embarrassed and quickly finish up and let me through.

Oh then it must be affirmative action

Also affirmative action

arab in denial

Literally just flew from Canada to Germany. They threw out my body wash. Left my leatherman tool alone. Now i stink :(

No problems at the airport, but

>go to Canada
>drive around for an hour
>remember Canada is terrible
>go home
>border control sees I was only there for an hour
>pull off to the side, spend 3 hours waiting, getting pat down and my car searched
>they find a couple stems and seeds in my center console
>get fined 500 for .14 grams
>the only time I've wished I'd spent more time in Canada

Only 5 whites working on my shift right now and we are the only ones assigned shit because everyone else is unable to handle basic tasks.

>go to pick someone up from the airport
>Security giving asshole limos and taxis priority

Fucking Jews. See if I get in your flying Jew.

The niggers.

It's where I hide my shitty memes.

>flying Jew

they searched my hair

MANUFACTURED FEAR

MANUFACTURED PARANOIA

MANUFACTURED TERRORISM

Had to step into some fuckin box to get a full body x-ray at CDG in Paris. They oh so conveniently place the computer screen where everyone in the que can see, and everyone more or less saw my johnson.

[spoiler]it's much bigger when erect i swear[/spoiler]

yeah, moost of those who smoke weed

>flight to Madrid
>connection on Miami
>as soon as I get into Miami airport the security staff gets me and a couple of other passengers and lead us to a room
>they kept asking me questions about what I do, where I'm going and about my family
>spend 1 hour telling the security woman all about my life
>almost lost flight to Madrid by 5 minutes

An older dude gave me a pat down and would have stuck his thumb up my ass if I didn't have pants on. He also grabbed my cock

>Long line
>Wearing boot brace because broken ankle
>Taken to back room to have it swabbed for explosives
>Finally let my obviously-not-a-terrorist white ass go
>At terminal waiting for plane
>Hear over speaker a description for an mp3 player that fits mine has been "found" (aka they forgot to put it back in my bag)
>Hobble a fucking mile as fast as I can to retrieve it, fill out forms etc
>Hobble back, make it back just in time
>Get on plane and notice touchscreen had a massive crack across it

Could have been worse I guess.

the first person I see upon touching down in burgerland is invariably a nigger/negress