What's your cinema schtick?

What's your cinema schtick?

I always say "Come on, let's get this show on the road!" after the first couple previews

I always say "Suffer as I have!" as I kick down the emergency exit door with my AR15

During the previews I high five everyone in attendance. It can be quite an undertaking on opening weekends

After every preview I shake my head and put my thumbs down

When an awkward scene happens I start pacing up and down the stairs, telling everyone that I don't like these kind of scenes.

I put my hands together and make loud farting noises with them. I also enjoy buying large sodas and spilling them down the ramps.

I read the opening credits out loud for everyone to hear.

>obligatory post

When a preview looks bad, I say out loud, "Fat chance!" during the silence between trailers.

I always ask if people want some of my nachos

I like to share and sometimes people dont bring enough money for snacks

I provide audio description for any blind people in the audience.

I think I've been in the same theater as you before.

>I provide audio description
>for blind people
...

Doing God's work

>character gets violently killed
>"That's gotta hurt!"

I buy as much candy as I can carry and wait until the quiet moments to open it, only after the loud previews, slowly and hesitantly so I make as much noise as possible.

If my candy is already open balling up the wrapper repeatedly would be too obvious, so I check the amount of soda that's left in my drink by pushing the straw in and out of the lid so it squeaks as much as possible. Shaking my cup so the ice rattles is also a good trick.

Sometimes I chew my ice as well. Only the big cubes. Big open mouth crunches so it sounds like gravel in a pulsing garbage disposal. While I do that I shuffle through my popcorn with my hands like I put my dick through the bag and I'm about to climax.

The ice makes my throat tingly so I also clear my throat. The drink makes me have to pee so I get up, say, 4 or 5 times just when a tense moment is happening. I sit in the end seat and go the opposite direction through the row so everyone's immersion is ruined equally. I'm also the one that farted.

The movies sure are fun!

I yell like a chimp when a white woman is about to open a door and find a ghost.

>I sit in the end seat and go the opposite direction through the row
kek

I compare what I would've done that the onscreen characters shouldn't have done. For example, I would've killed Mylo Ren with a throwing star and used my katana (I have one in real life) rather than a Saber to throw enemies off guard.

this, but "DAT'S GOTTA HOIT!"

The Cinemæ air dries my throat so I have to clear it every couple minutes

I have my iPhone set to maximum brightness and check it when nothing is really happening or there's a talking bit.

I tell people my rating of the movie in real time. Usually give them updates every 15 minutes or so.

The rating is out of 10, but if i feel the need to give a rating that isn't a whole number, I will change up the rating system to be out of 100.

A critical analysis is provided during credits but nobody ever sticks around. Their loss