Rumours: >Under normal circumstances, even for a good (sometimes very good) defender, a crocked player would ease himself back into pre-season, hoping to impress his manager and win his place back in the side, hoping that his value/future earnings hadn’t diminished too much during his time on the sidelines. But reader, these are no ordinary circumstances. This is the 2017 summer transfer window, or as future historians will call it: The Beginning of the End. Now, crocked, good (sometimes very good) defenders can suffer serious injuries, sit on their backside for six months, watch their value sky-rocket, and then maybe get a lucrative move.
This is the world in which Virgil van Dijk lives. But enough about him, this introduction is actually meant for Tottenham’s Danny Rose, who hasn’t played a game of football since January, but according to the Independent, is fast becoming José Mourinho’s No1 target at Manchester United.
>With deals for Ivan Perisic and Gareth Bale hitting the buffers, United are looking at more creative solutions for width going forward, and have sensibly settled on a left-back with a sometimes dodgy knee. With Rose approaching full fitness again, Daniel Levy is wary of losing his second high-profile full-back to Premier League title rivals this summer, but are reportedly willing to see how silly Ed Woodward is feeling.
Spurs are keener to lose Moussa Sissoko, who is open to joining Turkish side Trabzonspor, according to their vice-president Gencaga Meric. “Sissoko is keen on joining, we have spoken with him and talks went well,” Meric told reporters in Turkey. “We have yet to convince Tottenham or their manager. Tottenham want to recoup most of what they invested in Sissoko but we want him on loan. We have made our offer and are waiting for a decision.”
>Giannelli Imbula has decided he’d rather spend his Tuesday nights basking in the balmy climate of the Mediterranean coast than in what-will-probably-be-wet Stoke, and has agreed a deal in principle with French champions Monaco. The problem is that the Champions League club haven’t agreed a fee: Stoke want to recoup most of the £18m they shelled out for him in January 2016, Monaco would prefer a loan deal with an option to buy. The stand-off continues. Stoke have agreed a £7.25m deal to bring loan hit Bruno Martins Indi back to the club on a permanent basis.
Leicester City have forgotten that they have just spent £25m on Kelechi Iheanacho and will announce a £450,000 (plus add-ons) deal for 20-year-old Coventry striker George Thomas on Tuesday.
>Swansea have dipped their hand into the Arsenal bench lucky dip and come up with Carl Jenkinson. Arsenal want a permanent sale, but Swansea are thought to favour a loan deal. Fear not recently promoted clubs to the Premier League: Mathieu Debuchy, Kieran Gibbs, Calum Chambers and Jack Wilshere are still available!
On the continent, Bayern have gone full Bayern by attempting to lure Borussia Dortmund’s chief scout Sven Mislintat to the Allianz Arena, and Juventus are reportedly keen on Mateo Kovacic, who has been one of the best pre-season performers for Real Madrid. Nice look as though they are going to beat Celtic to the loan signing of Manchester City’s Patrick Roberts – just one day after signing Wesley Sneijder, woof! – which could clear the way for the French club’s Jean Michaël Seri to join Barcelona for €40m.
>Multiple choice round: which is true? >a) Philippe Senderos can speak six languages: English, Spanish, French, German, Italian and Serbian. >b) Philippe Senderos, superstar of yesteryear is only 32 years old. >c) Philippe Senderos has just signed for Houston Dynamo. >The answer is … all three are true! Got ya! Thank you for playing Rumour Mill.
Gabriel Thomas
>Philippe Senderos can speak six languages: English, Spanish, French, German, Italian and Serbian. At least three of those are expected desu. His parents are Spanish and Serbian, and he was raised in a French speaking area
Nathan Roberts
But 6 (six) is still impressive, no?
Dominic Hughes
>spurs >title contenders simply lmao
Nathan Hernandez
>after 2 domestic games, Celtic have scored 9 goals and conceded just 1 Genuinely can't see Brendão ever losing another game in Scotland.
Carson Bennett
Cheeky fantasy draft tomorrow 390768-95049
Matthew Gray
>superstar of yesteryear He was woeful
Kevin Collins
EPshitL exposed....again
Carson Cox
Reckon Astana will have too much for them though.
Thomas Lopez
...
Alexander Roberts
Thing I learned today: Isco has a doggo called Messi and has been quoted as saying that Messi is GOAT and so is his dog.
based
Jace Phillips
He's a massive barca fan stuck at Real
Lincoln Adams
Probably.
The long flight back might fuck them over in whichever SPL match they have next.
>look it up >St Johnstone Maybe not.
Isaiah Wilson
...
Josiah Rodriguez
bas dost is criminally underrated
Aiden Parker
>mou compplaining about the ref
top lel
Isaiah Lee
what a surprise
Aiden Carter
...
Joseph King
...
Henry Lee
HI RES MOU
Oliver Long
...
James Martinez
Lads Lads Lads >Manure
Ryder Perez
yes. for me anything over 2 is impressive. though americans are impressed with just 2
Ayden Morris
Caption this.
Christopher Richardson
Why is is upper lip green?
Brody Myers
i feel like i can barely speak english, so two is pretty impressive imo
Nicholas Cooper
Lukaku and Ramos in a football match
Hunter Young
the bus got too close to the pitch
Daniel Gutierrez
Still a meme watch company
Nolan Bell
alex hunter got carvajal booked with a terrible dive and pogbog got away with clotheslining ramos about a minute after, not to mention valencia's last man tackle on ronaldo not being a booking
Christopher Torres
...
Christian Cruz
He died his moustache green in anticipation of a move to Celtic
Gabriel Powell
>the floor is goals
Matthew Perez
haha
Nicholas Scott
dyed*
Jayden Sanders
Literally a taller Janssen
Ethan Gomez
>1st goal was offside >Had a corner which was ruled against us >several freekicks Real got when there was no foul.
It felt in some instances whenever United won the ball it was a foul and you watched the replay and there was nothing in it. I'd say United got away with 1 foul which should of been a freekick but Real got all the decisions their way.
Owen Harris
>pep has a shit season with a stacked team >spends £200m on another stacked team nobody has heard of >title favourite
what
William Hall
But they were still the better team on the day and much more clinical and better in possession. We weren't that far off though if we could actually finish chances. Reminds me of last season where we had the opportunities just never scored them.
Jeremiah Butler
>b-b-b-b-but it's poop!
Ethan Watson
>Manchester United manager Jose Mourinho, speaking to BT Sport: "I think we did well, I think we lost to one goal which shows the result was really short and one of their goals was an offside. With a good VAR system it would be 1-1 and extra-time. They could have scored more goals than they did, we could have scored more goals than we did. They had a period of dominance at middle of the first half and we had a period of dominance at middle of the second half. We were playing a team full of fantastic players, we discussed the result until almost the end. I say almost the end because with Cristiano Ronaldo coming on, because every time Ronaldo wanted a free-kick the game was stopped. We gave them a fight but have reasons to leave optimistic and proud. Let's go for Sunday."
SEETHING
Logan Young
His only major issue last season was his attackers not converting, and he brings in another playmaker and a bunch of defenders. I honestly don't know what he's thinking. Altough tbf getting rid of the old and bringing in some younger players in defense isn't such a bad idea.
Samuel Martin
>Kyle Bartley signs new 4 year deal with Swansea He'd rather compete for a starting spot than go to a shitheep Leeds and go straight into their team again lol
James Gutierrez
77536012 off the yank proxy
Jason Smith
vincent janssen is somewhat underrated
Andrew Morgan
>I have to go my people need me XD XD
Noah Allen
>Are you retarded? Liverpool were top scorers for most of last season, Klopp doesn't try to create singe points of failure.
t. Shitzen.
This is the level of discussion that a paddy Liverscum fan can bring up. 'most of'.
Austin Sanchez
>Matic shot results in a Lukaku goal for a Mourinho side >For Man United
Crazy times
Dominic Richardson
Fullbacks were a huge issue for city last year
And Bernardo's their as David's heir
Zachary Russell
>Livershit
LMAO
Charles Adams
Literally everything he said was correct.
Thomas Turner
The bottom one is literally quoting the S*n.
Michael Ward
Didn't know there was a paper called The Sasteriskn.
Juan Gutierrez
>penssen >underrated
Yeah ok, maybe I didn't pay enough attention during the games I saw them play, but a lot of games I reckon they would've won if it wasn't for >sterling finishing and Sergio ExplodingKnees. They had so many fucking chances and they somehow did not convert. Take the Chelsea game at the Etihad as a prime example of that >could've easily put the game to bed on several occasions >instead get cucked on the counter and chimp out
Gabriel Barnes
>I think football is a game of two halves, both 45 mins, with the aim of the game being to score more than your opponent. Scoring more than your opponent results in a win, scoring less than your opponent results in a loss and scoring the same amount results in a draw.
Daring, almost revolutionary, analyst by Mouyes.
Henry Gomez
Sorry, scoring fewer. Dunno why I said less.
Ryder Smith
>SEETHING This might be the least mad he's been after a loss
Evan Hall
>googled what you typed >The Asterisk War >it's anime
What?
Nathan Thomas
he's not wrong though
Connor Jackson
He just doesn't care any more
Blake Walker
Imagine living in the shanty town of Liverpool and having pleb workmates like Divock and Studge. Working for a deadend company that will never win anything. You get offered a new job in lovely Barcelona. Thank you for saving me from this misery! Increase in wages and you get to play with the GOAT and his other world class friends. Then your boss says "eh no la, you're staying here".
Dominic Martinez
What the fuck?
>google it >you're right
Some of those Chinese cartoons have really stupid names.
Cooper Lee
what's the deal with charlie adam? is he still at stoke or is he going somewhere else?
Chase Baker
has a year left on his contract
stoke are completely losing any semblance of identity they had
they're going to become as dull as fulham were
John Moore
transfermarkt says his contract is up but he's still at stoke
>Many were in the dark that Adam's contract ran for another season while he was puzzled to see himself feature in lists of free agents.
>He said: "When I last signed a contract the club reported that it was up in 2017 but there were different clauses in that and I reached the targets I needed to for the extra year. There was no issue with that and I always knew I had an extra year."
Nicholas Thomas
I get >Showing results for Asterisk >Open Source Communications Software | Asterisk Official Site
Christopher Wood
That last tackle is a LITERAL DIVE
Jace Reyes
Odd LRL, I'd thought you especially would get anime results.
Isaac King
I know, I am confused as well
Dylan Ortiz
basically an Infinite Stratos ripoff
Bentley Gray
I like it's all doom and gloom for Chelsea in english media, and yet they will have a better season than:
>Arsenal >United >City >Liverpool
Jack Cooper
I remember the asterisk vs rakudashi shitposting.
Christopher Jenkins
Any news on the nuclear war to the North Pacific situation?
Jeremiah Barnes
City is going to walk the league tbqh
Jonathan Ortiz
>
They'll probably win it, but they'll hardly walk it.
Julian Collins
Of course, just as they did after 7 fixtures last season.
Lincoln Kelly
Doom and gloom? Literally Arsenal have been shitted on by every media outlet telling them not to celebrate beating Chelsea and to 'save it for when it matters'. Everybody has stuck up for Chelsea saying it is a 'work in progress' and 'not Conte's team' and so on. Also City will win the Title.
City United Chelsea Spurs Liverpool Everton Arsenal
Julian Bailey
m8 media already told Conte to pack his bags
Luis Barnes
Source. Right now. Because in English media he's been defended for losing to Arsenal by saying
>i-it's just a friendly >h-he lost on purpose! 10D chess, la!
Man Utd had a few good chances from crosses, not sure what the problem is.
Eli Fisher
>Chelsea sacked Jose Mourinho, their most successful ever manager, in December 2015, just a few months into the season after he had led the club to the Premier League title for a third time I feel like this could have been contextualized a little better.
Noah Lopez
>one guy's opinion >didn't even say he should go, only that he'd be surprised if he's still there >never said he would be fired, only that it'd be a surprise if he's still there >'the media are telling him to pack his bags'
Now cite me the rest of the media saying the same thing, cause I can cite a sources which defended Conte losing to Arsenal.
Ayden Wood
cause I can cite a sources which defended Conte losing to Arsenal
waiting :>
Dominic Edwards
Spurs won't sell Rose AND Walker in the same window. There's no chance.
Jaxon Powell
he has exaggerated the contact, but youd have to be blind to miss him kicking ronalds foot just before he plants it
Robert Martin
>Lukaku has 2 Super Cup runners up medals >has never won either Europa league or Champions League That's pretty impressive desu
Aaron Parker
Why not play Rashy boy upfront with Lukaku? Pogba behind them and Martial on the right?
120 goals on best RM liga season. >defensive manager
Hudson Richardson
Lads I'm listening to AC Jimbos new show. What do I think about it?
Asher Cruz
>Chelsea were also depleted. No Diego Costa, on his extended holiday/exile until he leaves, Eden Hazard, of course, nor Tiemoue Bakayoko while both Alvaro Morata and Antonio Rudiger started on the bench
>Travis Tyler: Apparently losing on penalties makes everyone forget that Chelsea were probably the stronger team for all but the start (what else is new?) and the time after a (unwarranted and harsh) red card. Yes, transfers are still needed, but there is no need to be beat with the misery stick before a single competitive ball has been kicked.
