ITT: christmas faps

ITT: christmas faps

I always wished Bowie had more movie roles.

Imagine being Arnold in that scene and having to be all like "damn, Jamie Curtis, you fuckin' fine, all sexy with your tight body and horrific androgynous monster face. I would totally have sex with you, both my character and the real me." when all he really wants to do is fuck another 16 year old in his dressing room. Like seriously imagine having to be Arnold and not only sit in that chair while Jamie Lee Curtis flaunts her disgusting body in front of you, the favorable lighting barely concealing her stretchmarks and leathery skin, and just sit there, take after take, hour after hour, while she perfected that dance. Not only having to tolerate her monstrous fucking visage but her haughty attitude as everyone on set tells her she's STILL GOT IT and DAMN, JAMIE LEE CURTIS LOOKS LIKE *THAT*?? because they're not the ones who have to sit there and watch her mannish fucking gremlin face contort into types of grimaces you didn't even know existed before that day. You've been fucking nothing but a healthy diet of blondes and supermodels and later alleged rape victims for your ENTIRE CAREER coming straight out of the boonies in Austria. You've never even seen anything this fucking disgusting before, and now you swear you can taste the sweat that's breaking out on her dimpled stomach as she sucks it in to writhe it suggestively at you, smugly assured that you are enjoying the opportunity to get paid to sit there and revel in her "statuesque (for that is what she calls herself)" beauty, the beauty she worked so hard for with personal trainers in the previous months. And then the director calls for another take, and you know you could kill every single person in this room before the studio security could put you down, but you sit there and endure, because you're fucking Arnold. You're not going to lose your future political career over this. Just bear it. Hide your face and bear it.

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I wonder if people would find this more sexy or less sexy if they knew she was born with a penis.

more

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I come to these threads every time for this

I read this everytime its posted without fail and it still makes me chuckle

Her parents cut it off though, alas.

Don't masturbate on Jesus' birthday.

>masturbaiting on Christmas

I once masturbated on Christmas night with mom and grandma in the same bed. I was in the countryside and had to do some TV magic to catch a glimpse of a porn channel.

Came here for this

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When you remove the face, the body is pretty tight. Maybe it's just the lighting, though.

Plus I've been on meds that crash sex drive for a while and my libido is just about to burst.

Can you IMAGINE being Arnold in this scene??

how does this manage to absolutely fail to be erotic?

absolutely disgusting

fucking kikes

hank hill/10

She was born with a penis. It shows.

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It's a combination of the bizarre androgynous mannequin face and the movements of some insectoid alien doing its impression of human movement. There's just something unnatural about the whole scene, like she's a piece of uncanny CGI.

her greased back short hair a shit too

noice

>not having a jolly Christmas fap

It's like you don't want to feel merry and bright.

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What if Santa catches you whacking off?

He's surely used to it by now.

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DAMN JAMIE LEE CURTIS LOOKS LIKE *THAT*?

something about corsets, all that cleavage and the girls body getting constricted mmm

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Why does she look better here than doing a sexy dance in lingerie? wtf

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IMAGINE

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looks like that guy with the shades at the end of resident evil

She's a qt in True Lies, it's also a very good film I was very impressed by the special effects, especially when they were chasing the nuclear bombs on the bridge.

I enjoy the meme and everything but I sure do beat my dong stupid to her all the same.

If only she didn't have that horrid monster face that body would be a 10.

She's 58 dude. Cut her some slack.

Batman Returns
Eyes Wide Shut
Beverly D'Angelo in National Lampoon's Christmas Vacation