ITT: We create modern versions of classic Movies

>Home Alone in 2016

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Instead of hitchhiking with a bunch of sweaty .Men she would call up an uber

Why were his parents such fucking assholes in the movies?
>order pizza
>eat multiple fucking boxes of it
>forget to pay pizza guy until after they've had their meal

The Empire shoots the "empty" escape pod, ending the entire series.

Seriously, how much does 1 fucking laser blast cost?

The parents were just busy doing shit and didn't see the guy. The uncle is an asshole for accepting the pizzas and walking away without paying.

Modern smart phones pretty much invalidate 90% of all classic movie premises. You can't even get away with "no signal" bullshit anymore.

>Matrix
>Neo takes other pill

>Lord of the Rings series
>Sauron doesn't lose his finger

>Mummy
>Imhotep goes to India with Ank

>Siri, get me directions to the car

Alien.

No bonus on this mission AT ALL

Nah come on, ghosts fuck with electronics all the time

>What's destroying the city?
>...Oh it's a huge monster.

Speed.

Sandra bullocks just tweets that she is hijacked.

But didn't they realize in the middle of the flight at the same time it showed him waking up to the empty house? So it would be the same in the end

at least home invasion films can bust out phone jammers and other sabotage.

also ghosts can fuck with electronics.

They couldn't get a hold of kevin, and he had no way of contacting them.

>Die Hard
>Hans has the detonator app built into his phone
>blows the roof on time, gets away and lives on the beach making 20%

youtube.com/watch?v=jJxVQTYkQ04

>Independence Day

The aliens win after the president gives out area 51's exact location on Twitter

That wouldn't matter once the bomb is armed.

The bus wasn't supposed to be a secret, if no one knew about it then he wouldn't be able to hold it ransom.

Does it even mater? They live in a universe with sentient androids and its not like pods can't also contain secret files in them.

I thought this was Dude, Where's my Car?

If the aliens can use Twitter they can just fucking google Area 51's location instead of waiting for the president to post about it. It's not a secret.

>Neo takes other pill

And becomes a tranny

How can one movie be so insanely stupid and highly watchable a the same time?

>Back to te Future
He realizes that the future sucks and everyone just stare their phones and get offended at everything

>no networks are available

Because it reminds you of being a child.

Whoever made that comic didn't watch the film

His parents realise before they are even off the plane, that they forgot him. They can't get back for a few days, and Kevin doesn't trust the police so avoids them.

>The Interview
>dude weed lmao and dude weed lmao get shot when crossing the border
>problem solved

Wasn't the point of the movie how the mom had to travel cross country but also had difficulties along the way which prolonged her from getting to her son at a reasonable time? Its like the artist never seen the movie before.

fucking this
the artist should kill himself

But can Siri burn down the forest?

Are you a fucking idiot?

How would that effect the movie?

They're still contractually obligated to answer the distress call.

>And becomes a tranny
>Unknowing the final phase of the red pilling process.

Fuck that last part made me laugh

he meant she would've got off the plane before it took off even tho she boarded

still a retarded pic tho

>Every teen drama regarding losing virginity.
Dude Tinder Lmao

So you've never actually watched the movie? It takes place in like 2014.

I still don't get how Kevin's family went through an entire vacation without noticing their kid was missing.

There are now, that entire area has service. There's actually a fucking cell tower about 300 feet from that house.

t. lives in B.F.E

Ghosts don't exist though.

on meth they do.

Kids born after 2000 must have a difficult time watching old movies. No internet, no smartphones, fucking nothing in the older stuff. CB and Walk Talkie was the best thing ever back in the day.

>Prisoner of Azkaban
>Harry and Sirius get their souls eaten by the Dementors

so betas automaticaly become alpha when possesing a phone?

>he's never seen a ghost before

Underage please leave

>alphas only get laid
poor lil insecure white boi

>Kids born after 2000 must have a difficult time watching old movies
they don't watch them period

I don't get it

>It's a Wonderful Life
>10/10 slamming hot wife and family but slight debt
>file footage of the average fat fuck American
>I want to live again, dammit.

this doesnt work for horror you moron

the phone gps would just fuck up or get spooky because THE WOODS ARE HAUNTED

But the movie doesn't make sense if ghosts don't exist.

I think this one applies to this thread

I just watched this Christmas Eve. He doesn't wake up until after his family has boarded the plane and put their seat belts on.
The mum finds out whilst she is flying, then she takes ages to get back home due to factors outside of her control.

>couldn't call home to check he's ok because ofcourse the phone lines went down the night before
hack writing desu. John Hughes a shit

Kevin doesn't wake up till after the plane is in flight. Also he's initially happy about making his family disappear because they acted like jerks the night before.

>Oh shit, we are sinking!
>No problem, there are enougl lifeboats for everyone.

He got his wish, just like George Bailey did!

nedry tweets about the dinosaurs

kid tweets about his dad in the shining

gladiator tweets about joaquin phoenix stabbing him

john connor tweets about the terminator

andy tweets, has no woody or buzz because that's faggot shit. too busy sucking off black guys from craigslist

old lady posts the story about the titanic on youtube herself, cucks the documentary crew

fluke tweets about him being a human reincarnated, becomes meme dog and goes to the Ellen show

Bill Murray has endless fun browsing on his phone, never leaves the timeloop

hello family guy

Saved you a $200 Million

>Bill Murray has endless fun browsing on his phone, never leaves the timeloop

until he reads what the entire internet produced up to that day.

Home Alone 2
>Kevin texts to 911 the picture of the burglars robbing the toy store

No it would go like this.
"Thank god we didnt use the room temperature impact strength of steel to engineer this thing!"
The end.

>factors outside of her control
she could ask for help on reddit, kickstarter etc

>Captain, radar says there is an iceberg ahead that may impact us. I've plotted a new course and we'll avoid it with ample margin incase it shifts
>good work! I'm off to have dinner with billy zane and that Gilbert grape fuck

they didnt trust him at all, why would the parents give an 8 year old a working cell phone

>The Dark Knight Rises
>Trump is president
>bombs the shit out of Bane and his mercs

>she could ask for help on reddit
leave

they followed the stream and still ended up back where they started. there was actual magic happening

>not intellagent enough for horror movies

they'd give him a working cell phone because they don't trust him and would want to check in on him, I'd imagine.

>77662440
>implying anyone gives a shit about your faggy opinion

>Captain, radar says there is an iceberg ahead that may impact us. I've plotted a new course and we'll avoid it with ample margin incase it shifts
>Captain?
>Where are you, captain?

every little shit has a phone no matter how they behave, dumb neetstuckithe90's poster

>facebook or twitter
>attention world my kid is home alone, please help
movie over

>The Dark Knight Rises
>Trump is Batman
really makes you think

Home Alone
>order Kevin more cheese pizza
>he's not forced to make his family disappear
solved without a phone

Are you calling me an idiot?

>Passion of The Christ
>The apostles run a Twitter campaign and change.org petition to save Jesus

Scratch that, after 9/11 he wouldn't have even been able to board the plane to New York.

Only if she can keep her composure

the one who would be home alone is the not-dad while the not-mom goes out to have some ladyfun in the city since producing blue eyed white children is frowned upon now

>It's become common for kids to have phones now

I don't know why I find this unsettling I just do

LOL

A majority of people order the toy online

>This really cute girl left a briefcase
>We should just look up the last passenger that you charged on your Uber app
>She sent me an address in aspen, ill head to UPS tomorrow and send it out.

hes constantly fucking around, he would be doing completely retarded shit with that phone. no parent is gonna put their kid on a plan just to watch that retard constantly keep calling china or some shit

I think what they need to answer is the question about this bonus situation.

he does the trip to meet her again, not because he cares about her stuff

retard

>The Dark Knight Rises
>everyone knew about banes plan weeks before it happened
>no action was taken
>Seal team comes in and snipes down Bane.

ok theres an awkward seen where he jerks it to her facebook photos and finds out she is engaged

jesus christ you autistic faggot

I know a girl born in 96 that believes 80s movies are too old to be watched, ever. I told her to watch Stand By Me and she asked if it was in black and white.

don't try to flip the tortilla on me, amigo.
Not my fault you didn't get the (really simple, straight-forward) premise

>Maskettaman brings Bane and two other Mercs
>The CIA tells them to take of the bags from their heads
>Bane?
>they arrest all of them before they board the plane

American Pie

After both the pie incident (Jim) and the grapefruit incident (Sherman) start to trend on social media, students in every school in the country become obsessed with fucking food and posting it on the internet.

Nobody has time for relationship drama anymore.

No, it would be
>Women and children first
And hell would break loose because of the many mentally ill guys who claim to be women, and the guys in charge would have to let them board the lifeboats because the liberal media encourages this behavior and punishes people who don't

Should have killed the ho desu

>Did I leave the oven on?