Character pees in toilet

>character pees in toilet
>toilet water isn't bright red
Takes me out of the film every time

user go see a DR

>Character has a shit
>Isn't on the toilet for one hour screaming writhing and sweating in pain as a bloodied turd comes out their ass.

>Character pisses
>Doesn't wince in pain

Damn you, Hollywood.

>character masturbates
>doesn't cry afterwards and slit his wrists

>character doesn't piss into a jug every twenty minutes

Aaaaand dropped.

>character goes to piss
>immediately can piss
>doesn't have to return to the bathroom every forty minutes

My suspension of disbelief only goes so far.

>character doesn't have a deep depression and given up on life years ago and the only reason he hasn't killed himself is because he's a coward

>character goes for a piss
>Gets into bed a realises he still has a bit left, so just leans out and pisses on the carpet instead to finish.

literally me

>unemployed NEET opens the door
>he isn't unshaven, unwashed, smelly, pale and messy haired
>he has his own nice apartment

>Character doesn't piss all over the rim when relieving himself

May as well eat caviar, that fancy bastard

I just assume all the extras in the background are hollow and suicidal

>Character takes a big, stinky shit
>She doesn't even wipe or flush when she's done

>character doesn't run up the stairs on all fours

>character goes to bed
>he wakes up
every fucking time.

>Character goes out for a meal
>Doesn't eat the Mcdonalds saver menu

>character doesn't exclusively use piss bottles

That shit is always the worst.

>character lays down to go to sleep
>doesn't reach under the bed for the Dragon Dildo and a can of Crisco

>character doesn't get crippling pee shyness that started only because of their fear of being discovered as pee shy

Everyone on screen actually has a job

>character's mother doesn't shamefully take several 2 liter soda bottles full of urine from his room and throw them out before asking him to please use the toilet
Hollywood is just plain out of touch.

> character does big cum
> no chunks in it

>character's penis doesnt drip piss for ~10 minutes afterwards

>Character has to leave his house
>doesn't spend an hour alternating between pacing around, staring at himself in the mirror, and screaming into a pillow

>members of the opposite sex acknowledge the existence of the character

>Character shits
>Doesn't spend the next 10 minutes wiping

It's always that or just a single wipe.

*BRAAAAAAAAAPPPPPFTFTP*

>character doesn't have to sit on the toilet while peeing because his dick is too small to aim well

WELL HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT RELATE TO ME

>character doesn't drink himself to sleep every night
>character doesn't feel a sharp pain in his side and hopes his liver is finally dying
come on now

>Doesnt spend the next hour wiping

wtf is wrong with u ppl?

>main character is home from work
>goes to dinner with a woman instead of staying up till 3AM shitposting on a Malaysian pottery imageboard

Doing that as we type

>character goes to bed
>doesn't lay there while his heart starts beating faster and faster and starts to skip a beat.

>Character gets a girlfriend
>Doesn't have sex

>character talks to his mother
>doesn't yell and throw his own feces around to get chicken tendies

>itchy anus

>character gets nice a comfy
>doesn't express displeasure as he has to get up to piss every ten minutes
What happened to realism in movies?

>character goes to bed
>he doesn't bodyhump his pillow imagining it as his girlfiend

>character goes out of his way to help someone instead of just telling them to go to the police or something

People don't actually do this

>character laying down in bed with arm raised
>doesn't have swollen lumps under armpits
Wtf

>tfw too intelligent to post pepe

>character wakes up before 3 PM
>character isn't in a foggy, half-asleep daze despite sleeping for 10+ hours

>character goes to poop
>doesn't strip off all their clothes beforehand

Now, that's kino

>character poos in a loo

I love doing this before work

>character gets into bed
>doesn't suddenly feel like they have to pee even though they just went
>doesn't get up out of bed to go try to pee, only to sit on the toilet for 10 minutes with nothing coming out

This is me. Literally me. No other character can come close to relating to me like this. There is no way you can convince me this is not me. This character could not possibly be anymore me. It’s me, and nobody can convince me otherwise. If anyone approached me on the topic of this not possibly being me, then I immediately shut them down with overwhelming evidence that this character is me. This character is me, it is indisputable. Why anyone would try to argue that this character is not me is beyond me. If you held two pictures of me and this character side by side, you’d see no difference. I can safely look at this character every day and say “Yup, that’s me”. I can practically see this character every time I look at myself in the mirror. I go outside and people stop me to comment how similar I look and act to this character. I chuckle softly as I’m assured everyday this character is me in every way. I can smile each time I get out of bed every morning knowing that I’ve found my identity with this character and I know my place in this world. It’s really quite funny how similar this character is to me, it’s almost like we’re identical twins. When I first saw this character, I had an existential crisis. What if this character was the real me and I was the fictional being. What if this character actual became aware of my existence? Did this character have the ability to become self aware itself?

>character gets ready for bed
>doesn't stay up for another 4 hours drinking

How am I suppose to relate?

Fuck SCI-FI.

>Character gets called a cuck
>Calls the other guy a cunt
>character says he's not a cuck but a cunt
>other guy suys he's not a cunt but a cuck
>3rd guy says look at those cunts
>first guy says yes he's a cunt and not a cuck
>other guy says no he's a cuck and not a cunt

Literally every movie

>character gets home
>he doesn't start posting in this thread immediately
well hollywood just doesn't know me anymore

>Character rises from a sitting position
>Doesn't yelp "AAARGH!" from the pain of asscheeks closing and pressing on the anal fissures and hemorrhoids