/balt/ + /ausnz/

Low impact consensual cuddling edition

Other urls found in this thread:

citygirlblogs.com/anal-play-for-the-straight-guy/
twitter.com/AnonBabble

1st for /lat/

Good thread
y-yes...
I'll be picking it up from the post office after my lecture end...

cute

I'll tell you how it goes this afternoon...

ok..

Please do

Now you're making me nervous...

This thread is so gay, you guys are faggots.

Why?

Ha
you think that's gay you should see that last thread.

What's your point?
I-I don't know

just don't hurt yourself...

But it's ironic

I'll try my best
Is it still ironic if you want to have gay sex?

i don't know if I could date a girl who wasn't bisexual

like, how shit does your taste have to be to like the absolute shitter sex, men, but not women?

>Is it still ironic if you want to have gay sex?
If I ever get married it's going to be ironic

I think I am gonna pass on that offer.

My point is that you are all acting gay, and you should stop it.

You can't hide behind irony when you commit to being a homo. You are homo!

>walking down the aisle of your 20K+ wedding
>surrounded by friends and family
>your loved one stands besides you
>priest asks you to read your vows
>"I'm only doing this ironically"
I could see that

But what if they're legitimately gay, should they stop that?
You can't ask people to repress who they are Sweden, even if it is gay as fuck.

Of course, I want to have gaysex with most people in this thread, but only ironically

I'm totally straight, you guys believe me don't you?

n-no I'm not...

>get married ironically
>adopt and raise a kid or two ironically
>build a life together with him ironically
>grow old together ironically
>kids and grandkids come to see me on my deathbed
>"Pranked lol."

What city are you in again? I'm just taking a survey about something completely unrelated to gay sex.

>But what if they're legitimately gay, should they stop that?
Yes, acting like a decent human being should be prioritized over sexual desire.

A real man can control himself, an animal cannot.

>You can't ask people to repress who they are Sweden, even if it is gay as fuck.
I am asking them to do what is right.

Yes you are, just because you say you don't really like it doesn't make it any less gay.

It's like traps not being gay, they have a dick for christ sake!

>they have a dick
You fail to see the appeal of a trap, the dick makes him cuter!
Maybe you should go back to Syria instead of criticizing us hm?

>acting like a decent human being should be prioritized over sexual desire.
I do act like a decent human being

What the fuck labour

And I was actually going to vote for them this year too

Dunedin
u
n
e
d
I
n
I'm not gay!!! I can't imagine where you'd get that idea you cute thing

Why would you want little against Jacinda?
At least she doesn't look like a dead fish.
also
>voting labour
>not voting for my boy Gareth

...

You're all voting wrong.

>voting for labour
Wow, I didn't know people actually did that

Unironically voting for Winnie, here

What did Labour do?

I'll probably do the same, or just not vote at all

Same 2bh

>You fail to see the appeal of a trap, the dick makes him cuter!
A penis is not cute, And any specimen that has a penis is male.

>Maybe you should go back to Syria
I may be a homophobe, but atleast I'm not a racist.

You are weak, weak minded and a weak specimen of strenght. I would crush you in both deparments.

>I'm not gay!!! I can't imagine where you'd get that idea you cute thing
You type like a homo for once, second you behave in a homoish manner, third I can smell cocks on your breath from here! Brush your teeth homo!

It's close to the election and the leader called it quits.

I want you to crush my boihole desu

Me too now. I was really excited about Labour returning to its white working man roots under Little and Robinson but now that shit is off the table with a literal commie like Jacinda taking over.

Hopefully the unions raise hell over this fucking australian politics tier backstabbing shit

>implying I've had any kind of sexual relations with anyone, let alone enough to get the smell of dick on my breath

Um, try again sweety

I'll come and relate to you sexually babe

>Dunedin
>All those times I ignored banner ads telling my about cuties in my area
>mfw they turn out to be true
>literal commie
Corbyn commie? or Obama is commie Sup Forums tier comment.

You are a lesser man than me, I spend no time with weaklings like you. And I reserve my love for women.

Actually that's not a huge suprise, you come off as a virgin anyway, haha.

You can do whatever you want to me as long as you say "no homo" afterwards
>The other cutie kiwi poster lives in the same city as me

Spooky, I bet we've walked passed each other at some point
That's funny, you also come (haha cum) off as a virgin

>as long as you say "no homo" afterwards
Sure qt

*lol not really*

>Somewhere close to me at all times there is a qt kiwi
This is going to keep me awake at night

bbbb-but it would be gay then
I bet I could keep you awake at night ;)

rip u then

*kisses u*

I'll make sure to say no homo afterwards ok?
The american is trying to make you gay, but us two would just have ironic gaysex.

The state of this thread.

Isn't it wonderful?
The next evolution of /balt/

The state of my penis: flaccid for about a week

Do Balts even post here anymore? 90% of this thread is gay roleplay between an American avatarfag and a kiwi avatarfag

Please no, my fragile heterosexuality
Sounds fun, it'd be like normal gaysex but every now and again one of us would roll our eyes and say something sarcastic

but first I'd need the "no homo" in writing
I wish I could help with that but I'm so far away

Why?
Are the threads no saucy enough for you?
I'm not an avatar fag, and yes they post but only during their daytime...

Help me how exactly?
I don't let my mind wander to impure thoughts.

>Help me how exactly?
I think he means homosex
>I don't let my mind wander to impure thoughts.
Doesn't sound like a fun way to live desu

>Help me how exactly?
We could try some homo(no homo)sex
I did not mean homosex, that'd be gay

Must commit to not masturbating every day.
I'm getting mixed signals.

nofap is a stupid meme
>I did not mean homosex, that'd be gay
o-oh right, that was a close one I was almost actually gay for a second instead of being ironic.

It's more about self control than "nofap." Maybe I'm into denial play.

Makes sense, I'm a mixed up kinda guy
Never let the barrier of irony you've built around yourself slip even for a second

I actually typed out a dd/lg post about denial play as a joke but then realized the last time I did that I got banned.
So imagine something something daddy something something cummies.
Thank god I now know how this works, you can suck as many cocks as you like as long as you are doing it ironically. I wish they taught this in sex-ed.

>daddy
Gross.

Tell me about it, almost put me off woman forever.

Just got a bunch of clothes out of the dryer, they're so soft and warm I might cuddle them for a bit

>they're so soft and warm
That's how I imagine cuddling with you would feel...

I started talking to someone on kik today (never used it before)... let's hope I don't get called that.
2cute

I'm sure you'd be better at cuddling than a pile of laundry

I'm back from the post office, this is going to be interesting.
:3

I advise you clean yourself out (syringes work well), and be careful.

>clean yourself out
I'm going to take a shower later and see if I'm happy with how clean I am.
>be careful
It's quite small, I don't think I could fuck it up if I tried.

That's what they all say then boom hospital visit.
Jk
Have you fingered yourself?

>Have you fingered yourself
A little bit once I think, but that was more out of curiosity more than anything.

Unless your fingers are huge, you probably want to stretch yourself out first.

yea, the internet "guide" I read said that, starting with your smallest fingers and going up from there.

Give us a look at it.

It wasn't so much a guide as a blog post
citygirlblogs.com/anal-play-for-the-straight-guy/
I remember reading a Sup Forums made post exactly for what I was looking for a couple years ago but I can't find it anymore.

I meant the toy.

oh, lemme take a photo I guess.

Really small desu

neato
take it easy yeah?

>11 unique IPs

grim

Nice

By the way, clean your keyboard faggot

Too much anime

>faggot
>tfw this statement now accurate describes me

I clean it but last time I tried I could only get half of it clean and I almost broke it.
I've had it for 4+ years so it's probably better for me to buy a new one.

Do you have a lithp, high pitched voice, and obsess over how your hair and clothes look?

>lithp
I did as a child but it's not very noticeable now.
>high pitched voice
I have a deep husky voice, which fucks me if I wanted to be a grill desu
>obsess over how your hair and clothes look
As much as any other autist who is insecure in public.

I guess I must be chad since I give very few fucks about how I appear in public.

You are either a chad or a turbo robot.
Either you don't care because you know you look good and will get everything no matter what or you don't care because no matter what you will look bad and get nothing.
idk desu

speedy speedy boy

More of A than B, but I think I mostly just don't care.

Maybe because ur cute no matter what you wear?

Maybe.

dont test your faith

ill merc u cunt

. . .. . . . .. .. .. .. . . . . .. .. ..

Removing leg hair by pulling it? Some people do it.
Removing facial hair by pulling it? Nobody does that.

I usually wax