>character is finishing taking a fat piss
>somehow doesn't get a few drops of pee on the front of his underwear, even though he didn't bother to shake his penis dry or wipe the tip with some toilet paper
how am I supposed to take the rest of the movie seriously now?
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>take a thunderous piss
>literally 30 - 60 seconds long
>shake dick and a squeeze out as much as I can
>ok everything's good, zip up and head out
>the second I sit down a little bit of piss squirts out of my dick even though I squeeze and shook it as much as I could
What the fuck?
In the german language we have this saying:
>Da hilft kein Schütteln und kein Klopfen, in die Hose geht der letzte Tropfen
>not wearing adult diapers
Fucking nu/v/.
Seems to get worse with age. 31 now and I can't help but dribble a little usually as I start to walk out the bathroom
There's a scene in Nocturnal Animals where a character is taking a shit, grabs a wad of TP, then reaches behind him and rubs it around his anus. You just know that ass was durty as sin.
How come more guys don't wipe with toilet paper. The feeling of wet piss on my underwear is unbearable
google kegels thank me later
I live some toilet paper in the underwear 2bh famalam
Yeah 28 here, only been happening to past couple of years for me. Feels bad man.
It's like the muscles relax after leaving the bathroom for a while and the remainder just flows out or some shit.
just stuff an old sock on the end of your knob afterwards, its how we do it in
my country which shall not be named
Put a finger behind your balls and press upwards and forwards a bit. That whole shit happens, because there's a small dip in the urethra.
this works but looks gay
>movies doesn't have real time pissing with close up on the streams
>we are basically TOLD, not SHOWN, that the main character are pissing, breaking the first directive of Good Kino
L O O
P O O
L O O
O
>LPLO
What did he mean by this?
There's people out there who don't even wipe properly after taking a shit, user. People are just filthy filthy animals.
Let's
Piss
Lots
Okay
>character takes shit
>scrunches up some toilet paper
>wipes around
>doesn't even look at paper
>just hikes pants up and walks away
People who actually scrunch in RL should be rounded up and shot. Same for people who wipe standing up.
>character takes shit
>flushes once
>check the bowl and make mental note to come back and flush again in 5 minutes because you didnt get it all the first time.
>character takes shit
Wait how the fuck do you wipe sitting down?
are you fucking serious?
DO NOT DO THIS
i just tried this and shit myself, thanks you fucking asshole
Not him but I want to know too. I usually wipe halfway between sitting and standing. Can't phase my hand through the seat like some kind of superpowered mutant.
You guys need to stop masturbating that often
Yes, are you saying you stick your hand past your dick and wipe all awkwardly. How do you know you've wiped enough? Like I wipe until there is no shit on the toilet paper. Do you smear your dick with shit to get a gander at your toilet paper?
You lift a buttcheek and reach in. It's not exactly hard unless you're a fatass or has a hip problem.
what the fuck is there no room between your legs?
like, look at this picture. See how there is a space there? Just reach your hand in there with toilet paper and rub it on your asshole. Is your asshole on your back or something?
I'll try it next time I guess.
My dick is in the way mate.
you lift one of your asscheeks you retard.
...
The person in that picture could not reach his asshole from that position without dipping his hand way too far into the toilet bowl. Even then he couldn't get it very clean.
Pic related is objectively the best way. You have plenty of room and full access to everything. My asshole and taint are spotless.
Pro-tip guys: You know how people always tell you NEVER to wipe back to front? Fuck those people. Once you've everything clean going front to back, do a careful wipe back to front. You ain't clean until you do.
desu I rinse my dickhead in the sink after a piss. Never any drips ever. Gotta be super cautious about it in public washrooms though.
this is obviously the best way to wipe
>not standing up to wipe
you bend your arm behind, lift your ass ever so slightly and wipe?
dicks can move, unless you shit with an erection
unless the water is 2 inches from the top, it isnt a problem having your hand in the bowl. Its not like you're touching your shit or the water
but the paper would break if you wire it around your leg retard
>character doesn't flap his dick up and down for ten seconds straight as stray piss droplets fly about the room
Dropped
stop buying cheap tp, povvo scummer
>character takes a shit
>asshole isn't burning from the shit
>doesn't have to wipe 3 times to try and get dry
>doesn't give up after the 4th wipe even though there's still a bit of poop
>doesn't have to lie down from the burning pain their asshole is in
nothing breaks my immersion in a film faster
I have a bidet, fight me faggots.
It boggles my mind that there's people who genuinely and unironically wipe standing up. It just goes against reason and asshole mechanics.
>character masturbates
>doesn't shove a candle up his ass
young handsome man indeed, that guy is a qt
you don't squeeze or shake the dick retard, press a bit above on your blader to force everything out, sit if you must.
>sit if you must
t. faggot
even wiping at all is fucking retarded
Ultimate wiping technique is putting one foot on the rim of the toilet while standing.
Isn't it illegal to stand and piss in Germany and Sweden?
...
>not taking a shower after taking shits
>not grabbing the shower head and putting it up close to your asshole to rinse the shit out
hah
that's a good one
in russia we say
Cкoлькo нe ccы - пocлeдняя кaпля вce paвнo в тpycы.
>not asking your gf to lick it clean
>gf
fine, bf then. faggot.
fine, your fingers then. faggot
So you put your hand in the toilet and risk getting shit on it and your balls ?
fine, anna kendrick then. faggot
No. Don't believe every clickbait article Sup Forums posts.
This. What kind of savage piece of shit thinks wiping only will get the job done
Let go of my waifu you dirty neckbeard
...
I never shake. Real men walk around with piss soaked underwear.
>sitting down to shit at all
NTY I don't want my dick covered in toilet water
This is objectively the best way to handle your shittings.
>character takes piss
>stream doesn't wildly hit the floor and basin before he can adjust his body to the proper angle to ensure it hits the water
> character doesn't then have to wipe up the piss pools with toilet paper every mother fucking time
>not taking your biggest hardened poop
>not slipping it in a condom
>not using it as a dildo, calling it your BBC
I get that happening every once in a while but how is it a regular problem for you?
Just move closer to the toilet, it's not rocket science.
who is that?
literally every time I've had sex once
Yes.
Usually the foreskin getting in the way for me.
God I hate that thing. Wish I was a cutfag. That thing is 'nuthin but problems.
kill yourself
Evan Rachel Wood, recently on Westworld
What, why?
And here I thought I was sharing waste extraction anecdotes among friends.
Its a meme for sure. I have always wiped standing up.
Sitting down just seems like it would be messy.
Also, I hate having to take a shit. I always use like a whole toilet roll. Need to wipe intill there is literally nothing on the paper. Even penetrate a little to get squeaky clean.
>Evan Rachel Wood
>29
>married but divorced
>find pic related after a few minutes of googling her shit
HNNNNNNNNNNGGGGG
I feel you.
Whenever I see someone in a movie or something wiping with like once or two squares it always triggers me.
Is having shitty buttholes just the norm or something?
>not wiping with an odd number of stones
/standupwiper/ masterrace reporting
Do Americans really wipe standing up?
>Fucking nu/v/.
go back
>tfw long dick and weak prostate
I can shake for a minute and still get drippage
Fuck yes, its good exercise you can inspect the color of your shit and how much you have to wipe, the smell and density etc.
>Early 2000s high school coming of age movie
>My Own Worst Enemy starts playing
Stop eating such greasy fucking food, you fat fuck.
I only need to wipe max 6-7 times with 4 squares at a time (2+ ply). Even less when its bloody.
>making it harder on yourself to clean the shit between your cheeks by having it smear more over your ass
You can do all that sitting, except the exercise part, which I suspect is why you need to stand in the first place.
Bidet master race reporting in.
>wipe the penis tip with some toilet paper
OH LA DEE DAH, we have some fancy classy frenchie over here
>character doesn't use SquattyPotty™
Immersion ruined
>Scene where Americans have just arrived in London
>London calling starts playing
>he doesn't take all of his clothes off to shit
>he doesn't squatwipe
I want normies to leave
>separate bidet
>having to waddle over to it with your pants around your ankles
Such a weird way of doing it. Just install one toilet with built-in bidet function.
I just got BTFO.
I really want to see this sitting down shitting technician in action though.
>I've had sex once
Normies out.