Rumours: >Look at the state of the Premier League. With three days left of the transfer market, almost every club is rushing around on a desperate spending spree, pushing and hollering like citizens stocking up on tinned food before the outbreak of war. It is as if no one told them until now that the transfer window shuts on Thursday.
At least Manchester United and Huddersfield Town did their shopping early so now all they have to do is sit back and laugh at everyone else. Or perhaps join everyone else in laughing at Arsenal, whose years of frugality have somehow led to the club having a surplus of inadequate players and a couple of gaping holes in their bloated squad. At least it looks like Arsenal are going to flog Shkodran Mustafi to Internazionale and Kieran Gibbs to Watford so Arsène Wenger may still get an opportunity to splash out on a top-class holding midfielder in time to leave him on the bench for the next big game.
>Liverpool are in Monaco and a state of confusion. They’ve had two bids for Thomas Lemar turned down and are mulling over a third. What they should be doing, of course, is bundling Fabinho into a car and heading to the airport, since Monaco are said to be willing to let the central midfielder go to anyone except Paris Saint-Germain. PSG covet the Brazilian but Monaco won’t play any more ball with the club from the capital, who are already poised to snare Kylian Mbappé. There’s a claim going about today, by the way, that Arsenal could have signed Mbappé nearly three years ago but turned their noses up at a deal that would have allegedly involved handing over a vast fee to the family of a player who had not yet even played a professional match. It would be unreasonable to slag off Wenger for that, so some folks are already getting stuck in.
When Liverpool are finished in Monaco, they’re going to don their most contrite expression and head to Southampton. They’ll be carrying a case-full of money and a DVD of Sunday’s match at Anfield, just in case Virgil van Dijk has been getting any ideas about joining Arsenal instead. Juventus must have seen that match because they are now apparently interested in getting their hands on Emre Can. But Liverpool want to hold on to him now that he’s on a roll. The Mill isn’t convinced that roll will last but no one wants to hear that right now.
>Meanwhile, anyone who thought Paul Clement was only going to use his blue-cup contacts to prise Sam Clucas from Hull City will need to think again when Swansea complete one of the most eye-catching signings of the summer: the Welsh side are in contention to lure Renato Sanches from one of Clement’s former employers, Bayern Munich.
Once Chelsea complete the signing of Alex Oxlade-Chamberlain, they’re going to wrap up a deal for Ross Barkley. When two unfulfilled English potentials get a multi-million pound move to the champions, you know the coach has a tremendous faith in his own ability and someone has a quota to meet.
>In a predictable end to a strange affair, Chelsea are in talks about accepting a ransom from Atlético Madrid so that Diego Costa will liberate himself from the house in Brazil where he is holding himself against Chelsea’s will.
Elsewhere, several Premier League clubs are still considering a move for Borussia Dortmund’s slinky young midfielder Emre Mor. But he’s about to join Celta Vigo. Burnley are hoping to complete a deal for Lorient’s Ghanaian forwad Abdul Majid Waris, who is awaiting a work permit. Manchester City are hopeful of signing Alexis Sánchez and Jonny Evans this week so that high-end tunnel-gawkers will have some new exhibits to drool over.
Joshua Lopez
arsene should put in 40m for fapinho
Eli Myers
Oxy and Drinky confirmed when
Angel Bell
>Tottenham Hotspur are enjoying a long breakfast. Then Daniel Levy might do a crossword or go for a ramble around the Hertfordshire countryside and fill a punnet with wild blueberries and perhaps even a couple of gooseberries. And then, on Thursday, he’ll spring into transfer action. And lo, Spurs will still have all their goalscoring eggs in the baskets of Dele Alli and Harry Kane.
Lincoln Thomas
lay of with these "wacky" transfer news and post the actual rumors. This is just a fucking wall of text and i have to read through 3 lines of """"""banterous""""""" rambling to know who is linked with who.
Jeremiah Green
Mum just text me to say she put 40 quid in my account, who should I sign, lads?
Finally done it, lads. I've unsubbed from Football Weekly
Justin Walker
il give you a quick rundown
arsenal -lemar, sterling, relegation chelsea - ox, drinky, llorente united - bale city - sanchez liverpool - lemar, VVD, ox spurs - literal whos
Sebastian Russell
>literally unironically singing saido mane
what was klopp thinking
Camden Bailey
>Kevin Wimmer >bought by Spurs for 4.3m >plays 15 (fifteen) league games over two years >sold to stoke for 18m
How does Levy do it, lads?
Ryan Gomez
Why did she put 40 quid in your account?
Mason Adams
yep.
Jordan Myers
His name is Levy, he puts levies on players.
Camden Perez
same
the totally football show is the new comfy
Brayden Hughes
tesco finest sausage rolls
Camden Lee
Already got some Quavers on a free.
She doesn't want to see me fall behind my direct rivals. And I helped with the garden on Sunday.
Lincoln Barnes
>A player that is only good on the break
There's a reason Barca are looking at Coutinho and Rashford and not him
Jace Harris
Sort yourself our Barbara
Carter Jackson
>Arsenal and City fighting for Johnny Evans kek you couldn't make this shit up
Asher Davis
Pot Noodles
Carson Ward
Mane is better than qt la
Nathaniel Scott
>Already got some Quavers on a free.
Won the window with that
Jack Johnson
Condoms and a bottle of captain Morgan
Jason Reyes
Rights to Neymar in 2038
Connor Smith
FRIENDLY WARNING ALERT ----------------------------------------------------- Liverpool fans are cocky and get extremely angry when you mock their club. Please think of the poor Liverpool fans next time you mock them, as their brain cant handle banter
Juan Wilson
pretty sure leldiola is just fucking with arsene. No-one in their right mind would be this desperate
Jaxson Campbell
Can't tell if trolling or delusional
Xavier Diaz
What tipped you lad? Football Ramble was pretty funny this week never even heard of that pie fight at Nottingham Forest on the weekend.
>look at the state of clubs with surplus budgets wanting to spend them like they didn't know the transfer window would shut soon
Looks like someone's never worked somewhere with a budget. That's how budgets work. If you have a budget you spend it otherwise you lose it.
NEET loser. These threads are shit. Post rumours I don't care about your shitty opinionated style of writing
Zachary White
>The Mersyside Millionaires
Logan Smith
just waiting for the official Stevie G declaration and its a full house, so to speak.
Grayson Rogers
I listened to the Ramble for maybe 6 years up until they 'rebranded' a couple of seasons ago. They just sucked the soul out of the whole thing, made it far too professional
Ian Sanders
>the absolute state of [insert team]
Josiah Reyes
hoping to bump into lasogga on a night out
Chase Lewis
r a r e
Noah Baker
n e w
Justin Scott
Ar...Arsenal? Right?
Brandon Wilson
mpoope announcement when?
Parker Baker
Pic related
Are we the whisperers?
Hudson Hall
How does Monaco have such a supply line of young pacey nigs? They are all like a carbon copy of each other.
Anthony Smith
stone roses bar after Leeds have accomplished anything
you might be waiting a while lol ;)
Samuel Howard
>tfw your local team is in a league where only two teams get promotion.
1st place is automatic promotion then 2nd-7th have a six team playoff, this fuck is this shit.
Tyler Perez
>being in the conference
Jayden Moore
Yes the same Barca that made singing Paulino for 40M their number 1 priority for the summer.
Josiah Bailey
>local lidl run out of nougat pillows
Thomas Smith
the conference only has a 4 team playoff doesn't it?
Nathaniel Johnson
>tfw your local team is in a league where no one gets promotion
Jackson Wilson
>support Liverpool >2 hours with Ainsley Harriot on viagra while youre tied to a bed face first pick one
Adrian Williams
VVD is literally in liverpool right now
Joseph Evans
probably visiting the art gallery
Ryan Mitchell
he is lost?
Thomas Fisher
signing for Everton la
Brayden Barnes
pict??
Anthony Perry
PSG has a shit defense I think
Leo Sanders
In the hotel lobby with Martinez?
James Williams
>anons don't go to ALDI and get fat as fuck for cheap and cheerful prices
Not doing it right. I cut my food bill in half so now I can piss the rest on sweeties and off brand booze
Charles Morgan
Didn't Liverpool issue a statement apologising to Southampton saying they wouldn't pursue VVD Whatever happened to that
Kayden Richardson
>defense proxy or stupid?
Henry Stewart
english is dead. american english is king now
Brayden Hall
>American English >King stupid then.
Henry Ward
is the air too thin up there where people all tell the truth?
Samuel Morales
What do you expect from Bin Dippers
Daniel Turner
you've been far outgrown by a former colony that is has been the foremost exporter of culture in the entire world for decades. just accept it lad
Julian Morris
Its happening
Cameron Gray
>Liverpool club statements mean fuck all cool
Brayden White
>sign Keita for next season >sign Van Dick after all >sign Salah >will probably sign Lemar >wont sell QTnho
Liverpool were the literal GOATs this market
Blake Long
hows life on the spectrum?
keita is going to monaco
Ayden Russell
Agreed, good DMF's tho
Noah Ward
>Keita is going to Monaco Is this you trying to be funny or are you unaware there's 2
Ethan Ward
Keita is going to monaco
Thomas Howard
Paulinho is good and plays Tiki Taka what u talking about
Parker Barnes
Van Dick isnt very good
salah is no better than what they had already
lemar isnt leaving, 100%
coutinho is miserable and wants out
Jacob Richardson
the other one was a barca, then i think he was a roma for a bit too dunno if hes still playing
Josiah Wright
>le row z man
Robert Stewart
just picked up van dijk lads, anyone want anything on the way?
Cooper Moore
t. Merro
Jaxson Reyes
Are there more Keitas, Traiores or Dembeles in football
Jonathan Torres
1x gf pls
Andrew Stewart
countless
Ian Perry
nothing beats United signing Matic desu
Justin Jackson
>Van Dijk's Van
Austin Jackson
...
Camden Flores
>y-you're autistic
that's american lad
Wyatt Moore
American owners. They think football is as rigged as their "sports", but fortunately for them Liverpool are the Jews (not in a money spending sense, but purely an eternal victim one) of the Premier League. Remember when Suarez had a £40m release clause in his contract, meaning if anyone bid that amount, or more, he was free to discuss a contract with that club? Remember how Liverpool just simply refused and it put the media in a bind because it was a story that had to be reported on. The option for the media was simple, either call out Liverpool and risk being labeled "insensitive" about the 96 or blame everyone's favourite whipping boy for him offering £1 more than he actually had to. Naturally they opted for the easy route and I say that as someone who can't stand >Shitsnal. The VVD thing is no different and if it was (almost) any other club they would be severely reprimanded. They constantly bend the rules until they're almost U shaped and then play the victim when they get called out, just like the eternal heeb.
Gabriel Phillips
...
Matthew Richardson
Nigga take a look at Belgium
1 promotion spot, in a playoff between the top team from the first half of the season and the top team from the second half
Antwerp were dogshit after christmas but still went up because they won a one off game
Thomas Richardson
Is there any proof to VVD or is it just scouser delusions again?
